Comedy golfing injuries - worst ways to lose a match!

[westy]

So I'm sat with a glass with Rioja watching the U.S. Open, it is after all 9.20pm in the UK.

 

Got my foot on a pillow with two toes bust...... Nope I haven't been to the U.S. Open and fallen over.

 

Tuesday night playing a club match at a narrow course in the city league (lansdown, Bath, for those who like to google) I had a bit of a moment.

 

So the course runs between a road and a horse racing track, it has dry stone walls in places marking the out of bounds. Foursomes match and me and my partners are 4 down and 5 to play, my buddy hits the ball close to a wall on a long par 3 and the oppo are on the green.

 

We must get up and down to put pressure on.

 

My wedge comes down with plenty of speed to get it out of the rough, clips an overhanging bit of wall and diverts away from the ball and hits me in the right foot.

 

Match conceded with me sat in the rough with shoe and sock off, wedge bust, toes bust and hardly stopped laughing in two days!

 

So has anyone lost a match in a better (funnier) way?

[sp0rtsfan86]

So I'm sat with a glass with Rioja watching the U.S. Open, it is after all 9.20pm in the UK.

 

Got my foot on a pillow with two toes bust...... Nope I haven't been to the U.S. Open and fallen over.

 

Tuesday night playing a club match at a narrow course in the city league (lansdown, Bath, for those who like to google) I had a bit of a moment.

 

So the course runs between a road and a horse racing track, it has dry stone walls in places marking the out of bounds. Foursomes match and me and my partners are 4 down and 5 to play, my buddy hits the ball close to a wall on a long par 3 and the oppo are on the green.

 

We must get up and down to put pressure on.

 

My wedge comes down with plenty of speed to get it out of the rough, clips an overhanging bit of wall and diverts away from the ball and hits me in the right foot.

 

Match conceded with me sat in the rough with shoe and sock off, wedge bust, toes bust and hardly stopped laughing in two days!

 

So has anyone lost a match in a better (funnier) way?

Playing in Florida with two buddies I hit a ball into a dried up creek. On the surface it was completely dry. You couldn't tell if there ever was a creek there in the last 100 years. I took one step in and promptly fell in straight up to my hip in quick sand/muck/vile. My buddy had to pull me out at a certain point. That was on 8. I didn't play the next two holes. Funny part: I didn't have a ride, so one had to take me home in his mustang. He was laying down towels for minutes while I got down to my underwear. I got home and called my roommate asking him to get me a towel so I didn't walk in the door in my underwear. He shows up and stands about 5 yards away from the car telling me to get it, that I need to want the towel. the driver, whose car is surely smelling like mud snapped at him to give me the towel after about 2-3 minutes of this. Needless to say it's been the funniest story they love to tell when I'm around.

[RoverRick]

I didn't lose the match, but....

 

We had teed off on number 3 and the rest of the guys jumped in their carts and left, I was driving my cart last to leave. I was hanging my left foot out, as I often did.

 

I came up to the forward tee box, raised forward tee box, and my left foot caught on the ground and was pulled back under the cart, and I was thrown out onto my face and the cart ran over me, and kept going. It happened so quickly I didn't know what happened, but I saw my cart going on at full speed without me.

 

I jumped up and ran and caught it, thankfully it does not have cruise control, and jumped in and looked to see if anyone had seen me.

 

They had not seen me, and I did not have to forfeit the match, but I soon realized I was hurt and my leg was cut and I was muddy. When we got to the green they asked what happened and I said I had a bit of trouble on the tee box, never telling the whole truth.

 

I rarely hang my foot outside the cart anymore.

[mizuno_lover]

HAHAHAAHa Rover Rick that's one of the funniest things I've heard concerning accidents on the course mate

[Kenny B]

Didn't happen to me, but we played full-contact golf one day.  My wife and I in one cart, and my friend and his son (35 year old) in another cart.  On the par 5 3rd hole my friend was hitting his 2nd shot and his son was driving the cart to his ball; hopped out before the cart stopped but the accelerator pedal stuck (these are really old carts; oh and the governors have been removed).  The cart took off straight for our cart, glanced off the back of our cart, and kept going.  My friend ran over and jumped into the moving cart and stopped it, but he cracked 3 ribs in the process.  Couldn't play golf for a month, but his chipping and putting improved immensely during that month!!  If I recall, there might have been a little whiskey involved.  

[revkev]

I have three cart stories all from the church golf outing at my last Parish -  Warning this is what happens when you invite your High School sons to play with you in a Scramble!

 

1.  My boys are freshman and I invite an 8th grader to join with.  One of them is driving their cart and I'm driving with the other kid.  Half way through the round he gets upset because they are driving but he's not.  So I let him, down a steep hill.  When we reached the bottom of the hill I said, "You turned the wrong way."  Without hesitating he whips the wheel around on the slippery pavement and drives us right into a river.  Thank God the cart got stuck in the mud before it got too far in.  The worst part of it though was that our Bishop came over the hill at that moment and pulled us out.  I thought I was going to be transferred to Frozen Tundra Idaho.

 

2.  My boys were Juniors and we were playing another hilly course.  I had an adult playing with so I thought we were safe.  He and I road together and they were in another cart.  Unbeknownst to me he showed them how you could get past the speed governor on the cart.  We got to a tee on a par 3 and both hit our shots.  I was wondering there the boys went to and looked up the hill to see their cart, turned upside down with one of their legs sticking out.  How no one was hurt, I'll never know.

 

3.  My boys were seniors and we were playing with the same group.  Son John had his girlfriend with and he and my "adult" friend decided to race and play bumper cars throughout the round.  (Their may have been some alcohol involved on my friend's account.)  At the end of the round John decided to impress his girlfriend by taking some spoiled food from his trunk and throwing it at Kym (my friend.)  He instructed Tabby to drive away as fast as she could after he threw the food.  She did, into the back of a parked car, belonging to a parishioner.  John ended up with a substantial concussion that cost him the remainder of the football season and his team a shot at the playoffs.  I ended up out $500 for the damage to the parishioner's car. 

 

This public service announcement is for all of you who might be considering playing in outings with your children.

[Kenny B]

I have three cart stories all from the church golf outing at my last Parish -  Warning this is what happens when you invite your High School sons to play with you in a Scramble!

 

1.  My boys are freshman and I invite an 8th grader to join with.  One of them is driving their cart and I'm driving with the other kid.  Half way through the round he gets upset because they are driving but he's not.  So I let him, down a steep hill.  When we reached the bottom of the hill I said, "You turned the wrong way."  Without hesitating he whips the wheel around on the slippery pavement and drives us right into a river.  Thank God the cart got stuck in the mud before it got too far in.  The worst part of it though was that our Bishop came over the hill at that moment and pulled us out.  I thought I was going to be transferred to Frozen Tundra Idaho.

 

2.  My boys were Juniors and we were playing another hilly course.  I had an adult playing with so I thought we were safe.  He and I road together and they were in another cart.  Unbeknownst to me he showed them how you could get past the speed governor on the cart.  We got to a tee on a par 3 and both hit our shots.  I was wondering there the boys went to and looked up the hill to see their cart, turned upside down with one of their legs sticking out.  How no one was hurt, I'll never know.

 

3.  My boys were seniors and we were playing with the same group.  Son John had his girlfriend with and he and my "adult" friend decided to race and play bumper cars throughout the round.  (Their may have been some alcohol involved on my friend's account.)  At the end of the round John decided to impress his girlfriend by taking some spoiled food from his trunk and throwing it at Kym (my friend.)  He instructed Tabby to drive away as fast as she could after he threw the food.  She did, into the back of a parked car, belonging to a parishioner.  John ended up with a substantial concussion that cost him the remainder of the football season and his team a shot at the playoffs.  I ended up out $500 for the damage to the parishioner's car. 

 

This public service announcement is for all of you who might be considering playing in outings with your children.

 

Let's see...  

 

1.  Freshman, OK I understand a little.  No drivers license = fun to finally get to drive something.

2.  Junior, should know better by now but kids will be kids!

3.  Senior, ??  I guess it must be something they learned from their Dad.  Will they outgrow it?  That is the question!  

[Undershooter]

My buddy lost a hole doing this the other day. I have video of it but can't upload it unfortunately. He ended up being big loser bc of this until I birdied 18 to save his ass.

 

Side note, I did the same thing 4 holes later to salvage a half on the hole. We are idiots.

[revkev]

@Kenny My biological son is crazy. He has over the years tried to build a parachute and jump off the roof, built a Molotov cocktail and blown up his toy soldiers with it, retrieved a golf ball from a gators mouth, along with the aforementioned golfing incidents.

 

He also just passed his chief's exam but has to wait for promotion because he hasn't been at rank long enough(he's a first class) and whenever there are any serious issues in the engine room on his sub they put him on it. He doesn't want to be a chief because he likes hands on.

 

I love that kid but he's given me every grey hair that I have. My oldest daughter and his brother are responsible for the hair loss. My oldest just announced that she's getting married again. I'm very happy for her. She once destroyed a teeing area with a golf cart but since no one got hurt I didn't include it in my summary above. My family has turned golf into a full contact sport.

[fozcycle]

@Kenny My biological son is crazy. He has over the years tried to build a parachute and jump off the roof, built a Molotov cocktail and blown up his toy soldiers with it, retrieved a golf ball from a gators mouth, along with the aforementioned golfing incidents.

 

He also just passed his chief's exam but has to wait for promotion because he hasn't been at rank long enough(he's a first class) and whenever there are any serious issues in the engine room on his sub they put him on it. He doesn't want to be a chief because he likes hands on.

 

I love that kid but he's given me every grey hair that I have. My oldest daughter and his brother are responsible for the hair loss. My oldest just announced that she's getting married again. I'm very happy for her. She once destroyed a teeing area with a golf cart but since no one got hurt I didn't include it in my summary above. My family has turned golf into a full contact sport.

 

And you do have a lot of Grey Hairs......LOL.......

[sp0rtsfan86]

@Kenny My biological son is crazy. He has over the years tried to build a parachute and jump off the roof, built a Molotov cocktail and blown up his toy soldiers with it, retrieved a golf ball from a gators mouth, along with the aforementioned golfing incidents.

 

He also just passed his chief's exam but has to wait for promotion because he hasn't been at rank long enough(he's a first class) and whenever there are any serious issues in the engine room on his sub they put him on it. He doesn't want to be a chief because he likes hands on.

 

I love that kid but he's given me every grey hair that I have. My oldest daughter and his brother are responsible for the hair loss. My oldest just announced that she's getting married again. I'm very happy for her. She once destroyed a teeing area with a golf cart but since no one got hurt I didn't include it in my summary above. My family has turned golf into a full contact sport.

 

I for one, need to hear the gator's mouth story.

[westy]

See in the UK the scariest animal we've got is probably a badger, not many interesting golf stories involve badgers.....

 

So if anyone has stories with gators, lions, snakes - frankly a slightly vexed fox would be something.

[revkev]

I for one, need to hear the gator's mouth story.

Before I tell it I will throw in a snake one for Westy. It may shock you to learn that we have rattle snakes on our courses in Florida. In fact they are very active in the late Speing and Fall at my league course. There are signs all over the place warning people not to enter certain areas. A few years back we had a guy from our league who ignored the signs and he got bit by a rattler. They landed a helicopter on the course and transported him to the nearest hospital. Apparently it was a dry bite so he was fortunate. The snake that bit him was over six feet long.

 

Okay the Gator. We played golf the day before son Matt's wedding, Matt, John and a guy who was a specialist in the army. At the time both John and the Corporal were the same rank and they spent the round trying to one up each other in a variety of ways. (Perhaps even ways involving alcohol.). John's drive on 18, which he Happy Gilmored, was way right by a water hazzard. As we got over the hill and started down to the ball it was clear that it was sitting right in front of a large gator. This ball was less than a foot away from the thing's mouth.

 

Undaunted the troops advanced, the Corpral driving and John wielding a long iron. He jumped out of the cart, raked his ball away like an experienced croppier at the craps table hopped back in the cart and they took off zig zagging their way back towards the fairway the Gator hot on their tail. She gave up pretty quickly, I'm sure she was defending a nest. We latter found out that the zig zag thing is a myth and that a Gator is capable of running as fast as a golf cart. They were very fortunate. I still have the ball.

 

And now you know the rest of the story.

 

Here's John helping Penny with her math. I think he included a formula for building an A bomb embedded on the paper. Seriously!

 

 

[Undershooter]

See in the UK the scariest animal we've got is probably a badger, not many interesting golf stories involve badgers......

Badgers... We don't need no stinking badgers

[sp0rtsfan86]

We have roadrunners on our course. I'll post a picture up.

[revkev]

Badgers... We don't need no stinking badgers

Two NBA teams will be happy to pay a Badger 1 million plus a season after tonight.