[GolfSpy Tim]

Anyone else have a TOUGH time finding guys to get out and play with regularly?

I play a LOT of golf, and probably 80% of the time, I play solo - and it's getting old.

Do I need to join a men's league?

Buy random dudes free beers like a boy hitting on college girls at the bar?

Any words of wisdom for making new golf friends?

I really want to plan a golf trip somewhere fun, but most of my friends are broke and can't really afford to do a "real" guys trip.

Anyone here live in Central or Southern California and want to be my friend? ;-)

Seriously though - how did you come about to play golf with the guys that you play golf with?

[Moecat]

Before I moved, I played regularly with a guy who I met in another golf forum.

Since then, I'm happy to play with whoever also happens to have the same tee time. I would say that I've met only one true a--hole this way, and that would make it one out of a thousand at the most.

However, playing solo does have its advantages: I recently got to pay $55 for a 4:30 pm tee time on a course that usually costs $95 during the week ... and I finished the full 18 by 7 pm.

[wdgolf]

Everytime I play it's with my son, he really enjoys the game. Other than that, two of my longtime friends play golf, so I always shoot them an email whenever I go and they make it 80% of the time. Whey one or both of them can't make it, I just chat with whoever my son and I are paired up with.

There's also a league at work, but I don't have the free time for it. But leagues are probably your best option.

[GolfSpy Matt]

I have no answer for you. None of my friends golf, and I can't commit to a league or anything like that. Though, I'm pretty content to play solo.

[GolfSpy T]

GolfSpy Tim, on 17 May 2012 - 12:31 PM, said:

Anyone else have a TOUGH time finding guys to get out and play with regularly?

I play a LOT of golf, and probably 80% of the time, I play solo - and it's getting old.

Do I need to join a men's league?

Buy random dudes free beers like a boy hitting on college girls at the bar?

Any words of wisdom for making new golf friends?

I really want to plan a golf trip somewhere fun, but most of my friends are broke and can't really afford to do a "real" guys trip.

Anyone here live in Central or Southern California and want to be my friend? ;-)

Seriously though - how did you come about to play golf with the guys that you play golf with?

Yes. You should join a league.
Do not buy beer for random dudes...sends the wrong sort of message.

It's definitely tough when your friends don't play. I had a buddy I played with for the better part of two seasons, but his availability was sporadic, and so much as a 10% chance of rain would cause him to cancel. After growing tired of that (and driving 30 minutes to and from the course) I broke down and joined the club down the street.

There are plenty of tournaments, which provide ample opportunity to meet people. The downside is members have their regular foursomes and it can be hard to break in. In my case, to find a semi-regular Saturday game, one guy had to have major back surgery, and another had to die. Seriously...that's how I got into my Thursday foursome...a dude died.

As it stands now, I'm the first alternate for a Saturday group of 12. That may grow to 16 at which point I'll have a regular game (though I end up subbing most weekends as it is).

For the Tuesday night match play league, the pro shop hooked me up with a partner (another benefit of the club, somebody is always looking for a game, so the pro shop staff plays matchmaker...no beer needed).

Strange thing is I never play with the guys I used to (even when I venture of my home course). Not sure if rain guy is even playing any more, and one of my other buddies found Jesus...I mean really, really, really found Jesus, so he's pretty much work, home, church, and the occasional tee-ball game. The guys I play with away from home are the MyGolfSpy testers and other people I have met at Tark's Indoor.

Maybe you should put out an ad for shoe and gadget testers.

[JBones]

Here's what I do. Get to know the guys that work in the clubhouse were you play regularly. Once they get to know you, they'll start bringing you into their group. Just the other day I was going to play and I didnt want to play alone, so I called and ask if there were any groups they could pair me with and he said "I've got a perfect group, where'd you fit right in" and I certainly did. I had a blast playing with those guys and even had a couple beers with them afterwards. If I lived out there, I'd definitely let you buy me some beer and maybe play some golf too.

Other than that, league is probably the best place to meet people.

[jmiller065]

Well I wish i could say that I have only meet one true a$$hole being paired up randomly playing solo. That is just not the case at all, I have had a lot of good experiences and two of my good friends are from randomly meeting them on the golf course.

I used to live in Myrtle Beach, you got a lot of tourists that came down on vacation that felt "entitled" so to speak and would always be rude to locals in general. On a 1 to 10 scale of jerks the worst I meet was about an 8 total jacka$$. It was sometimes worse when on the golf course, I meet some cool people and a lot of not so happy i was paired with them people. Had one guy so grumpy and such a big ego that I got paired with him, on the Heritage down in Pawleys Island, I busted a 3 iron 250yards from the tips straight down the middle and from the white tee his Driver was about 5 yards shorter then my shot... It was classic the guy shot up right then and stopped acting grumpy lol.

The worst ever experience happened on Duke G.C. where I am a member. This guy was a 12 on a scale of 1 to 10 of being a rude a$$hole, he literally thought he was untouchable and could do whatever he wanted. Here is the story, I get to the tee and the started told me to go then left probably to look for the next group on the driving range, this guy walks up to the tee with his friend and states his tee time to me. (like i give a crap take it up with the starter) I politely said "well the starter told me I could tee off there is a 4 some that is slow in front of me you can play with me if you like". he goes "okay sure I jut need to get golf balls out of my car". He turns around and starts walking to the parking lot. Instantly I'm thinking WTH!? I'm not waiting on this guy it's slow I'll walk up to my ball if they are ready and I still down their I'll waive them up. Well I got to my ball was still down there and waived them up. They hit up, him and his friend. His friend seemed like a good golfer, from about the time that i waved them up to the 4th tee box the guy was talking about Darwin and Philosophy to his friend. So intense that he literally was not walking to his ball to hit a golf shot. I let it go then on number 3 he literally walked 50 yards past his ball after i told him where his ball was as a hint to come hit the shot. stops at his friends ball, then looked like he just then thought 'oh, I need to play golf'. His friend being nice told me if i was ready because I was staring at his friend walking in disbelief "if you are ready you can hit", I just went "no I am okay I'm not sure I am ready to hit this shot" (it was a terrible lie in the grass on the face of a fairway bunker). His friend just laughed. The guy hits, I hit his friend hits. His friend was long of the green and I was on the back of the green and he was sort right near a green side bunker. He literally walked to his friends shot behind the green a good 30 - 40 yards past his shot, still talking about Darwin, his friend made a comment about the conversation that I heard because his friend was standing right next to me on the green as the guy was walking back to his ball. I went to crack a joke "I was wondering what kind a philosophy or Darwin conversation you all were having", his friend burst out laughing at my joke, he on the other hand didn't find it very funny. On the 4th tee he still didn't get the hint and as I was walking up to tee my ball up I chuckled a little thinking 'god this guy is an a$$' trying to laugh it off and focus on golf. He whipped around super angry at this point and goes with a huge attitude 'would you like to add to this conversation!?' literally red in the face, very pale complected guy. I just calmly said 'sure' expecting him to elaborate on the conversation because I didn't hear all of it only the parts that were load enough for me to hear. he went 'SURE!? That's your perspective'. with a tone like he was going to kick my ass. Expecting the fight I got jacked up ready to defend myself, and went 'Is there a f***ing problem here!?'. He turns his back to me and goes "no there is not a problem". Number one rule in confrontations that can turn physical is never turn your back to the target you are asking to get sucker punched or hit with an object in the back of the head, this just told me he was 1 a coward or thought he was completely untouchable. I sorta stared at the back of his head for about 30 seconds to see if he was gonna try to pull something and read his body language. I slowly turned looking over my shoulder to just make sure i wasn't gonna get attacked with my back turned slightly and said "that's funny because you sure got an attitude like you wanted to kick my a$$!". I stuck a tee in the ground still angry about this whole situation made one practice swing and made the best decision of the day I stopped and went "why don't you all just play through..." he went "sure thanks"... his friend was embarrassed as heck at this point, as they were walking to the tee i got a few more heckles in there trying to provoke the goon. "It is pretty obvious you want to have a philosophical conversation rather then play golf, maybe you need to go back to class rather then being on the course". The goon had earlier told me he was a duke ruby player, probably why he thought he was "entitled" or "untouchable" so to speak.

I'll be honest with you, more often then not I have meet people that are really good people but there is always going to be 'that guy' that you meet that has a massive ego so big they get on your nerves.

I have always said you can tell more about a person in 18 holes of golf in terms of their personality then you can in 1 month of business negotiations. It is still why some people including Donald Trump does business deals on the links.

[RoverRick]

At my club there are goups that get together at certain times of the day. Anyone who is there is welcomed to come join the group provided that you are there at a reasonable time, 15 minutes before the tee time. We have a group at 8 am., 9:30, 11, 1, 2:30 and 5:30. This is nothing official but in general terms you can go hangout in the Proshop or Clubhouse and find a game. The 8 am and 1pm groups are all over 70 and play the forward tees, and want you to also. They do not want to have to wait for you to tee off from the back tees so you have to play forward. A lot tougher than most people think.

On weekends, the 9:30 group can be up to 30 people, most with their own carts. They are called the "Thundering Herd."

I occassionally play with these groups during the week, and when my regular guys are out of town. I would assume that this is the norm at most clubs. We have strangers join up all the time, and sometimes they become regulars and occassionally they are told no the next time. But this is typically people who can not play. Anyone who shoots in the mid 80's is always a welcome addition to these groups. While I get to join them, it screws up the bet they alway have. It is hard for me to get there at 9:30 in the morning during the week. I typically cannot get there until I get all that pesky work out of the way, but usually go about 3. I end up by myself but have some of my regular weekend group join me about 4.


I have another group that I play with on weekends, and once during the week (at least noon of Friday) and a few nights during the week after 4 pm, and that we go on trips together with. We also have gatherings away from golf. These are actual friends vs, just people I play golf with. This is made up of 5 guys that live on the same street, 3 lawyers who have known and worked with each other for 30 years, and 5 guys that go to the Catholic chruch. One church guy is also one of the lawyers, and one church guy lives in the neighborhood so there is really only 11 of us. It is rare to have more than 6 on any given day.

We send a text message the night before telling when we are playing golf. If you do not respond, than we assume you will not be there and will not wait for you. Mine and one other guy's phone are set up so we can send one text to all the guys. I am the designated point of contact because I am there almost everytime.

[GolfSpy Tim]

I'm getting the feeling the "club" that I have a membership at just sucks... I've known that their groundskeeper sucks for a while, but I don't see people grouping together like you guys talk about as much.

Wondering if I need to pony up and start playing some of the pricier tracks in town.

For the place I'm a member at right now, I'm guessing my best bet is to join the men's club - I'm screwed on weekends, but I believe they play once a week mid-week, and that might get me a good in.

[RoverRick]

We also have men's scrambles Wednesday and Thursday nights and Sunday's at 1:00 they have another deal like the Saturday's 9:30. I play in this often because we end up finishing with the other group at noon.

Also three or four times a year there are tournaments at different places that a lot of the guys go to. One in Dallas, one in Louisiana and one on the gulf coast.

6 times a year we have local tournaments for members.
When I write about this stuff I am reminded that the only reason I still live here is because of the golf club. Since 2008 I could live anywhere in the world and it would make any difference as far as work goes but I really like the golf club. They are rebuilding 9 holes right now as part of a three year plan including new clubhouse redoing some stuff on the other 9 holes next year but keeping those holes open. So it is a great club.

[revkev]

Tim,

A lot depends upon what you are looking for in a regular group. Are you a single digit handicapper looking for a competitive money game? Are you just looking for some fun and companionship through a casual game? You see the difference in those two scenarios.

I prefer the first but also will engage in the second. Since my job has caused me to move every six years the past 24 years I've learned that there is a course in every community where the best players play. It's not normally the best course in that community by the way - it's the one that the best players play at in a money game. If you're a good player you need to enter a couple of tournaments at that course and those good players will seek you out. I've been able to get into that sort of group after a year in all four places that I've lived during that time, I've made some incredible friends that way, some who come see me to play in Florida now that I'm here. Good golfers are often the best people to hang out with.

If however your goal is social I'd strongly suggest joining a league. It's a quick way to meet lots of people who love to play golf. Many of them will only play in that league but others are looking for people to play with outside of the league. It would be a ripe spot for you to find a regular foursome.

I hope that helps - wish I lived nearby you because I'd love to play but I'm on the other coast.

[Tyk]

Our association has about 90 members, the largest public golf course association in the area. We throw about 10 tournaments a year, a club championship and set up match play brackets. We have a set tee time every day (12:00 during the week, 10:00 on weekends). I used to play with a couple other friends but now I just play with the group, its easy, I don't have to set a tee time, just show up and put my name on the sign up sheet. There's always a game going on, usually a team bet and somebody is always looking for a partner, its pretty common for me to have 5-10 bets of some type every time I play.

So I would suggest looking for a course with something like that set up. Look on the bulletin boards in the locker rooms or club area, if its cluttered with tournament sign up sheets, match play brackets and tournament results, check it out and see what's up. I'd bet if you're under 50 and under a 20 handicap you'd be met with open arms almost anywhere.

[stevenhw8]

None of my friends play golf. So I usually tee of around 7am with my wife when the course is still empty on weekends. That's our way of spending time together, since she loves to play golf too!

Weekdays, if we decide to play after work, we just go to the first tee and see who's there. We usually play with the single or couple waiting there. By the end of the round, if the guy/girl is not an a**, we exchange phone numbers and arrange games privately.

But just like you, we play "solo" 90% of the time.

[Knappbuilders]

I am lucky enough to have Friday morning rounds with my brother every week. We have similar games but he is a bit better, it helps us to push each other. We don't mind being matched up with 2 randoms by the starter.

I don't even mind when we get matched up with an annoying person. My only bugaboo is when we end up playing with someone who feels the need to constantly give swing tips that are not asked for. My wife plays too, but only once or twice a year.

[GolfSpy Tim]

checked at the course where I have my membership (public course that offers yearly unlimited play memberships) - unfortunately their only league is played on weekends.

may have to head to our local muni (it's actually fairly nice for a muni) to pick up on some of their weekday stuff.