Yellow Ball

Come on guys put on your happy face, were heading to the course!

Ahhhh look what I did now. @Golfspy_TCB changed his profile picture.

I have a better idea, think of is the MGS Yin and Yang. This way I will always be on your mind!

Maybe in MI there are 3 sides to every story but everywhere else there are 2. If you thought you knew what your putts were rolling over you were wrong. If in fact you were correct it would have been more like a pole vault.

Let's analyze this shall we. I'm chilling in the bag. You take me out to play. You actually go pay someone so you can play with me. You place me on a pedestal then swing the club. AND YOU SAY I swing both ways!. Your right, its a business relationship that you might not want your wife to know about. Ohhh I feel so cheap and dirty now.

Did you not pay attention in Biology class in school? Like a three piece golf ball, I also have three layers. The epidermis, the dermis and the hypodermis. All part of my outer layer. In short, thanks for feeling me up! A ball will take all he can get! I also enjoy the way you wash and dry me during the round. The bristles in the ball washer are very invigorating.

Why do you think I'm always smiling?

Are you blind man! I don't wear anything except a smile.

Not blue but I did get some crabs. I think she had been around the block a few times if you know what I mean.

First off A sharpie on a blue putt putt ball! Is that the best you can do. Sheeeesh amateur hour. Secondly, I wouldn't worry about me getting laid. Have you ever looked at your profile picture? With a hat like that you couldn't even keep up with Santa and he only comes (spelling is not correct) once a year. So You know I was at the Spies Meet in Maryland outing. You know how many yellow balls were lost to the course. A special thanks to @cksurfdude for being a large contributor in that area. So you should know what I have been doing. I just got home from taking a new batch to the driving range to get them broken in for what lies ahead. Then I read this crap about not getting any and being a blue ball. Say hello to my little friends! And by the way there was a little mishap. Someone didn't come out just right. So I was thinking this could be yours. So in the slight chance you weren't wearing that ridiculous sombrero looking hat and met someone, you should show them your special ball. This way they will know not to expect much.

NOooooo, not the dreaded spooning. Throw me in the pond. PLEASE!

Truth Digest Now that you heard from the golfers (posers) point of view. It’s time to tell it like it is. My trip to get there was probably the most exciting part of the trip. It took almost a full week to get there on my motorcycle. I had to stay off the interstate because I couldn’t get up to the minimum speed limit. So I manned up and took the scenic backroads. I got to see a lot of nice sites on my way. That was until I decided to do a little cross country. That didn’t work out so well. I was run over by a big green machine named John Deere. My motorcycle is history. I did get a free ride across the field until I popped out though. I’ll be looking for a car soon! After a very long roll I finally arrived at the cottage and was given the seat of honor (for the one any only time). It wasn’t long before this turned into a scene from Blazing Saddles. You know the one! Boy there was some stench and they didn’t even have any beans. Then shortly after we all turned in for the night and the snoring started. Give a ball a break will ya! I almost threw myself in the pond! I did have a good time at the driving range. I got to meet up with a bunch of the extended family. Putting practice well that left a lot to be desired. No golf shoes, or sneakers no respect. Sandals and flip flops = stinky feet to the open air. And that where my air is 2” off the ground. I should have broken out the golfers excuse book because I learned a few new ones that I could have entered. But I left the book at home. I figured I had heard them all by now. Off to the first tee. How exciting NOT. I was lost right off the bat. You find you way back and someone hits you off into the wild blue again. There were some nice shots that I got to be part of but it always seemed that I was involved in more of the poor ones. It felt more like a game of hide and seek with grown a$$ men. When I recover a little more I'll give you more scoop.

Poor little guy looks a little green in the gills from his trip over.

The YB search and rescue team has been working overtime. The only ones not complaining about the heat were the divers!

"I get no respect" Golfers are supposed to be considerate. Do you realize that I am just a little yellow ball and not one of you were considerate enough to wear socks and tennis shoes. The stink down here is killing me!

What a great group!

Ya ever hear of something called LESSONS.

Good things that are in high demand rarely get a discount.

I am starting to re-think my desire to be there. Such aggression toward a little yellow ball! I'm thinking you guys bullied the smaller kids in school too.

They actually asked me to sing, but once I explained how high a pitch I have from being hit so many times they understood and moved on. Need I go into details?

And to think I used to like you! I think it's about time to put you on the Rotisserie.

Now that this outing is right around the corner I am sensing the fear in everyone. First the excuses started piling up about their golf games not being up to par! Now I am seeing the drinking comments. Ohhh I'm usually the designated driver. I only have one or two beers. I don't normally drink at all. Are you a bunch of golfers or a bunch of pansies? No wonder I always wind up in a pond. I'll have you know I already left for this outing I should get there in time. It takes a while on my bike. I tried to pack my favorite beverage but I couldn't figure out how to get it there. So I plan on mooching. But don't worry. With my body size I won't take to much away from you. You never have to worry about me either, I can't fall down. I just might roll a little crooked, thats all !

Now your talking! I'm in!

No problem for me I'm always in the buff!