I was a lieutenant at Fort Sill. Golf group played on Saturdays. One of those 'throw $5 in the pot and someone wins a few' kind of groups. Guy pretty much in charge is a colonel bigwig on post. Nicest guy you could meet, but still a colonel.
I'm in a foursome with the colonel, his son, and his GS-14 deputy. I was terrible. I mean really terrible. One this particular tee, there is a tree directly on the right with a bench extending toward the back of the tee box. I take a mighty swing! Ball hits the tree and caroms down the bench. The colonel, the deputy, and the son all hit the ground.
The colonel gets up, brushes himself off, then looks at me and says, "I did two tours in Vietnam and I was never as close to death as I am playing golf with you!"