Club Championship disaster - HELP! ADVICE!

[mbrodeur86]

A little background of my situation.

 

My name is Lou. I have been playing "serious golf" for 7 years now. My father was a great golfer who won 9 club championships at the local golf club. Myself, I was never into golf as a kid. I'm Canadian and of course, ice hockey was my sport of choice. 

 

When my Dad passed away, I inherited his clubs so I decided to start playing and really fell in love with the game. I never took a lesson. Sure, I watch the videos online and golf channel shows like everyone else but NEVER a lesson with a person. My personal best score is 74 on a par 72.

 

I was able to get my handicap to a personal best 7.9 and decided to put my name into the club championship. I knew my chances were slim to none of winning it. I don't play serious, competitive tourneys so this was new for me...and I BLEW IT!

 

Dead last with 2 day scores of 86 and 91. I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my whole life. I drove the ball fairly well, but could not putt to save my life. Lots of bad shots. 

 

I could not focus because of my game. I am realizing that as good as my game has gotten, my mental game is not ready. 

 

My questions are, how do I get passed this? I mean, I had people there laughing at me. I feel so ashamed, like I've let my family and my Dad down. I almost want to quit. I almost signed my card after 9 and quit right there. I was that upset - still am. Please help. Any videos, any links, any advice, any replies you be greatly appreciated. I do not want to quit this game but right now I'm leaning towards it  

[markb]

Your expectations were too high and you were trying to live up to a legacy.   Golf cannot be conquered quickly.

 

The ONLY way to get past nerves in tournaments is to play a LOT of tournaments.   You will continue to be nervous, but gradually you'll get past it and the very boredom will start to dull your nerves and you'll be able to score closer to your handicap. 

 

86 and 91 are not shameful scores.   My career best is 67 and I'm a 2.   Last year I shot a 93 in a tournament.   I was also paired with a girl who was a 6 in a mixed scramble.  We had the lowest hcp combo in the field and finished dead last with a 74 gross.  In a scramble we couldn't break par!

 

BTW, no 7.9 in the history of "goff" has ever won his club championship on the first try.  It's always some sandbagger who claims to be a -3 who will shoot 68-67.

[mega]

I agree with markb, you need to play a lot of tournament golf and have reasonable expectations.

 

Also, if your handicap is the result of only playing your home course, you need to get out and play as many different courses as you can.

 

I'm glad you didn't quit after 9 holes. I have felt like you after 9 but have never quit no matter how bad it was.

 

Keep your chin up and look for a tournament circuit around you that plays different quality courses. My game would not have grown if I didn't get away from my home course. It's the main reason I haven't joined a country club...

[westy]

Lou

 

There's lot of stuff that other members of the site will point you to, might be of use to you - might not. I suspect knowing the site something will help you.

 

Golf is an inherently difficult game, which can make anyone look silly at times - this is truth. I mean did you see Rory 4 putt yesterday (and today!)

 

I've found the more events I play the less nerves play a part in my scoring, early on it was hard for me to know if I was playing bad or my nerves had got the better of me. That's not to say I still don't feel nerves, but they no longer impact my putting stroke or my swing to the same extent.

 

Put yourself in more pressure situations and remember it's still just a game.....

 

oh and of course we are all entitled to play cr@p at times - it happens, grim when it happens but it does happen to everyone.

[mbrodeur86]

Thanks guys for the replies. I was literally shaking on the first to about the 7th hole where I got a birdie.Something broke and my nerves kinda went away but I just couldn't seem to shake this dark cloud over my head. I was hoping to not finish last. It was the only thing I didn't want to happen. The kid who won last year and is a 2 handicap shot an 87 yesterday and withdrew today. At least I didn't quit - but was really close.

 

I do not get out much in terms of playing other courses mainly because of time. I have 2 young kids at home (1 being autistic) and I try not to leave home too much. That and I usually play myself because if the urge hits me to go play, I usually have trouble finding a partner so I play by myself. I have my sunday morning fun rounds with my aunt and either friends or relatives.

[Salmon]

There have been some good suggestions raised so far. I think a really good strategy is to try and replicate those pressure situations as often as you can so you become used to them. A good training game I play to help with this is to have severe penalties for missing a putt/target and having to repeat a whole series of things to get back to that point. Another really good way is to simply play in as many tounaments as you can access, or if your club has a pennant team try and join that. The pressure of playing in matchplay as part of a team will steel your nerves quick.

 

Other than that you really need to learn to relax and just focus on the next shot. Whether you try and drop all of the nerves together and just go out and have a fun day, or you use the nerves to sharpen your focus thats up to you to discover.

 

Also trust me when I say that one bad round in a club championship doesnt put you out of the running. The one that I took home I shot a 10 over 77 the first round, but managed to shoot myself back into contention with a 1 over and 2 over rounds of 68 and 69 to win be a close margin so never give in.

[revkev]

Who laughs at another golfer while he's struggling in a tournament round? Sure my friends and I will laugh at each other in a fun round but in a tournament?

 

That's their problem not yours. That's for starters.

 

Your scores were no where near as bad as you think. As others have said golf is tough. You need to find ways to challenge yourself so that you get used to playing under pressure. Is there some sort of group at your club that plays a regular money game? Is there a men's club or a league where you play your own ball in stroke play? That's the kind of stuff that will toughen you up for a tournament like this one. The other thing is we are amateurs, it's tough to put two good rounds together back to back. Generally speaking the person who wins stroke play events is the one who plods and doesn't let things bother him.

 

Good luck and don't get too down. Anyone here who hasn't had this experience either hasn't played enough golf or has great selective memory.

[mbrodeur86]

I started playing in the "twilight" league which is basically a men's 9 hole league. The first 3 holes it's best ball. The second 3 it's best score and the last 3 holes it's alternate. I play with my 59 year old boss who is about a 14 handicap and we went 3-5 and made the playoffs. We ended up in our first match against a team that went 7-1 and won 4-3. We are almost done that. 

 

They sometimes play matches against other clubs but I've never been invited or asked to play. I did tell them I would be interested but was too late by then.

 

Who laughs at a struggling golfer? Stop by our club sometime and I'll introduce you to a cast of characters that would be a good caddyshack movie lol. 

 

I am feeling better since posting my comment. A few years ago I had a mental breakdown by my old boss at my old job and totally lost all my confidence. It does, occasionally pop up but more or less I lack serious confidence and so it was much much worse for me to have to endure that ridicule. I didn't even stay for the supper or to find out who won. I didn't care. I just wanted to leave. 

[sp0rtsfan86]

A little background of my situation.

 

My name is Lou. I have been playing "serious golf" for 7 years now. My father was a great golfer who won 9 club championships at the local golf club. Myself, I was never into golf as a kid. I'm Canadian and of course, ice hockey was my sport of choice. 

 

When my Dad passed away, I inherited his clubs so I decided to start playing and really fell in love with the game. I never took a lesson. Sure, I watch the videos online and golf channel shows like everyone else but NEVER a lesson with a person. My personal best score is 74 on a par 72.

 

I was able to get my handicap to a personal best 7.9 and decided to put my name into the club championship. I knew my chances were slim to none of winning it. I don't play serious, competitive tourneys so this was new for me...and I BLEW IT!

 

Dead last with 2 day scores of 86 and 91. I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my whole life. I drove the ball fairly well, but could not putt to save my life. Lots of bad shots. 

 

I could not focus because of my game. I am realizing that as good as my game has gotten, my mental game is not ready. 

 

My questions are, how do I get passed this? I mean, I had people there laughing at me. I feel so ashamed, like I've let my family and my Dad down. I almost want to quit. I almost signed my card after 9 and quit right there. I was that upset - still am. Please help. Any videos, any links, any advice, any replies you be greatly appreciated. I do not want to quit this game but right now I'm leaning towards it

Be glad my first tournament I shot a 110. I had scores of 13 on one hole and 11. On a totally different hole I 7 putted. I was on in two and legit 7 putted on the second hole... that was it, tournament over on the second hole... so that being said my advice is it was your first tournament... there's plenty more.

Something I learned: Start with a plan now... learn the course inside and out... learn the mistakes you make. Then once you identify the mistakes, learn to cope with them... and recover. Best thing I ever learned was how to get out from trees...

 

Also look up the stats golf association they may have lists of tournaments.

[mbrodeur86]

My driving was really good other than 3 maybe 4 holes where I f'ed up. My second shots and my scrambling were pretty good too. I struggled really in 2 places - with the putter and between the ears. I was literally shaking trying to make 1 foot putts. I'm gonna try something a little different and get a more balanced putter. I think a bigger head will give me more confidence at address so I'm gonna look at a mallet. I've already got 1 picked out. I know I can play. I really can. I believe that I can. It was just a situation where it's almost like walking into a dark room that you've already been into but you still don't want to stub your toe because that hurts like a b***ch lol. 

 

I've got a league match against the guy who won the senior division hopefully tonight and if we win we play the guy who won the championship so should be a good test. 

 

Oh, and the guy who won the senior championship is also the same guy who tried to downplay my father's 9 wins so I already do NOT like this guy. We played them earlier this summer and I put too much pressure on myself and we got beat hard so should be a good test. Wish me luck!

[JMiller]

My questions are, how do I get pass this?

 

I mean, I had people there laughing at me. I feel so ashamed, like I've let my family and my Dad down. I almost want to quit. I almost signed my card after 9 and quit right there. I was that upset - still am.

There is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed. EVERYONE, at some point in their lives has shot an awful tournament score that is way above there normal ability. Pressure / tension is a killer to a golf swing and you have to learn to deal with that over time. If anyone is actually laughing at you then you belong to a club with a bunch of D-Bag members that have forgotten what it was like in there first few tournaments.

 

You should ALWAYS hold your head high that you didn't cheat and didn't quit because you were playing bad. I never learned one damn thing from my great rounds of golf only the bad ones and the near misses in tournaments. It is so easy to be negative but you can't be positive, reflect on it and learn from it then forget about it.

 

It took me 5 to 10 tournaments to feel "normal" in a big event. I ALWAYS get a little anxious on that first tee, you never get over that, you just learn to deal with it focusing on your process and understanding how the pressure effects your swing. There is absolutely NO substitution for Tournament golf then tournament golf. It is a different beast. Money games help simulate pressure but at the same time you have other chances to make money. You get one chance to perform well in that specific tournament.

 

This brings up a point I made to someone at my club after we both played in the NC Mid-Am Qualifier. He started 5 over (Hole 10) Quad Bogey (Hole 11) pure nervousness went on to shoot a 89. This is a 4-6 handicap player on his own course (we hosted the qualifier).

~ It was his first ever stroke play tournament round in 10 years, you don't just walk into these sorts of things without some experience on how to handle them and play well.

 

I would almost use the bad score as a motivation to prove everyone wrong if they form an opinion on me about my abilities as a golfer by a single score. Just spin it into a positive whenever possible.

 

 

 

My advice

Focus on only what you can control.

~ Process is HUGE, pre-shot routine only giving your attention to the current shot / situation.

>> Forget about a previous shot / hole, don't worry about where the ball will go or an upcoming hole, only the current task.

--> With process it forces your mind into feeling like the shot is just "routine" and you have practiced it and done it 100s of times on the range / course before.

 

Know how the anxiety / tension effects your swing and figure out a way to negate tension.

~ Tension is a swing killer, you can't move the club the same way if you have more grip pressure / tight from nervousness.

--> A lot of people might grip the club tighter or increase there tempo during the swing to be faster. Neither is going to result in a good swing.

 

Play more tournaments and don't be results oriented or worried what people think about you as a player.

~ A golf score DOES NOT define you as a person.

--> Only how your actions are on the course defines you, that points out the personality not the score, handle the bad moments and good ones with class.

[mbrodeur86]

Thank you Grandmaster, that was an excellent post. 

 

I've always been a nervous person so it's something I definitely need to deal with. There was 1 guy and only 1 guy that made me even more nervous playing with and I thought I had gotten rid of him on day 2. We were supposed to be in groups of 3 but because the kid who shot an 87 withdrew we had to play with the group after us and the guy who made me nervous was in that group. 

 

Not a good feeling when the 3 other guys who are playing with you are fighting about which one has to sit in the cart with yours truly (no one wanted to play with me lol).

 

Where I play - I don't fit in. I don't have money and my Dad (even being the guy who's won the most club championships) is not respected there because HE was not a wealthy person. They won't even rename the trophy after him (9 yes 9 titles and the next guy in line has 4). He was a working class hero. He came from nothing and beat everybody by pure talent alone. My membership cost me $530 bucks taxes in and it took me all year to save up for it. Crazy right? A working man with a wife and 2 kids and as small an amount that is (compared to some of you I'm sure) and it took me  A WHOLE YEAR. I've already started saving up for next season.

 

So it was really easy for some of my family and their friends to laugh at me -  because it didn't happen to them. I get it. I understand it. If my father was still alive, I would have asked him on how he dealt with it. They started the tourney in 1965 and my Dad first won it in 1970. He would know. 

 

I will always remember this and 1 day maybe I will be able to return the favor to all of them.

[fozcycle]

jmiller065

My advice

Focus on only what you can control.

~ Process is HUGE, pre-shot routine only giving your attention to the current shot / situation.

>> Forget about a previous shot / hole, don't worry about where the ball will go or an upcoming hole, only the current task.

--> With process it forces your mind into feeling like the shot is just "routine" and you have practiced it and done it 100s of times on the range / course before.

 

Know how the anxiety / tension effects your swing and figure out a way to negate tension.

~ Tension is a swing killer, you can't move the club the same way if you have more grip pressure / tight from nervousness.

--> A lot of people might grip the club tighter or increase there tempo during the swing to be faster. Neither is going to result in a good swing.

 

Play more tournaments and don't be results oriented or worried what people think about you as a player.

~ A golf score DOES NOT define you as a person.

--> Only how your actions are on the course defines you, that points out the personality not the score, handle the bad moments and good ones with class.

 

 

 

This is some of the best advice that I have read in my several years of participating in MGS.  Thanks jmiller!

[JMiller]

This is some of the best advice that I have read in my several years of participating in MGS.  Thanks jmiller!

No problem.

 

To add to it just for GP, Trust me when I say that I have learned this the hard way.

 

What changed it around for me lately is the following:

1) The concept of "Vision54", it is a thought process.

--> Every Shot Must Have a Purpose

 

2) Evaluating my mental state before each shot & the process more then the results of the shot.

--> I have found for me personally my bad swings are almost always coming from poor decisions or a lack of commitment to my shot selection.

[JMiller]

I've always been a nervous person so it's something I definitely need to deal with. There was 1 guy and only 1 guy that made me even more nervous playing with and I thought I had gotten rid of him on day 2. We were supposed to be in groups of 3 but because the kid who shot an 87 withdrew we had to play with the group after us and the guy who made me nervous was in that group. 

 

Not a good feeling when the 3 other guys who are playing with you are fighting about which one has to sit in the cart with yours truly (no one wanted to play with me lol).

This goes back to controlling only what you can and focusing on that.

 

You can't control the tee time, the tee you start on, the weather, the course conditions, the pairing you get, etc.

~ You can control how you approach the round based on the above factors to still play good golf if you get something "unfavorable".

 

I personally will walk whenever the rules allow for it. I find in tournaments riding in a cart is a lot of hurry up and wait. With walking it slows me down enough so that once i get to my ball there isn't as much of a wait time to hit my shots.

~ If the rules let you I would personally just walked if they had a problem riding in a cart with you. That sounds stuck up as hell to me personally, so I would taken the higher road and purposely tries to slow them down by walking and getting them mentally frustrated at what I decided to do

 

Where I play - I don't fit in. I don't have money and my Dad (even being the guy who's won the most club championships) is not respected there because HE was not a wealthy person. They won't even rename the trophy after him (9 yes 9 titles and the next guy in line has 4). He was a working class hero. He came from nothing and beat everybody by pure talent alone. My membership cost me $530 bucks taxes in and it took me all year to save up for it. Crazy right? A working man with a wife and 2 kids and as small an amount that is (compared to some of you I'm sure) and it took me  A WHOLE YEAR. I've already started saving up for next season.

You can be more of a gentlemen even if they are D-Bags by acting with class and ignoring them rather then being frustrated or pissed about their opinions. it makes you the better man anyways. I have much more respect for a hard working honest man then a snobby prick that thinks they are better then others because of money / status. In fact I like making those types of people you describe skin crawl by being a gentlemen and not getting upset with their gossip. Normally, if you beat guys like that that have huge egos that's how you hurt them the most.

 

 

So it was really easy for some of my family and their friends to laugh at me -  because it didn't happen to them. I get it. I understand it. If my father was still alive, I would have asked him on how he dealt with it. They started the tourney in 1965 and my Dad first won it in 1970. He would know. 

 

I will always remember this and 1 day maybe I will be able to return the favor to all of them.

If your family laugh at you that's just flat out wrong, family should be supportive not the opposite. Again, a golf score / result doesn't matter truly in life anyways and the people that fell it does are pretty shallow people anyways.

 

There is not really a need to negatively want to get revenge. Like I said, I don't care if you don't have a nickle, my opinion of someone comes from how they carry themselves and there personality as a person not their accomplishments. If they are honest and play by the rules, never rude to me then I have MUCH more respect for that person then the guy that cheats at a game or lies to me about stupid things, is rude to me or thinks they are better then me due to materialistic s***.

 

 

Honestly, it sounds like you would be better off saving some money and golf course shopping around your area. With golf in recession a lot of clubs are running deals to gain new members. It might be a good idea to know some people at other clubs and have them introduce you to the other members. I'm more into the golf the the socialization aspect of belonging to a club. Look for that quality in the members and how the club runs.

 

You get different atmospheres from different memberships

1) Public :: Normally they won't run a club championship, it is more a favor for the locals that they offer yearly passes for unlimited golf / range.

 

2) Semi-private :: You get the benefits of a private club a lot of times but they allow public play to help reduce the cost of the membership in terms of monthly dues. I belong to a semi-private club after years of belonging to public clubs. I love the semi-private club personally. It has given me a mix of White collar, middle class, blue collar members. A few D-Bags but not really any of the guys my age mostly the "old money" older retired members might stick their nose up to me but none of them know me so whatever.

 

3) Private :: You really need to figure out if the membership is more about golf or socialization. It sounds like your club is a lot of "old money" and is more about socialization and you don't exactly fit into their circles. It sounds like you need a club more about golf and less about the "status".

 

 

 

Again, don't worry about it, forget the carp. Take the positives from the ROUND of golf and improve from there.

 

 

 

EDIT

My club does several divisions:

Men -- Under 55, 5 or better handicaps automatically put into this flight.

Men -- Under 55, above a 5 handicap that opts out of the Trophy / Parking spot competition (Champ Flight)

--> Technically event the 55+ guys could opt into this if they wanted.

 

Senior Men -- 55+

Super Senior Men -- 65+

 

I know the Women have at least one division not sure if they have a split on age or not.

[mbrodeur86]

Again, another great post. Thank you!!

 

But I've got to tell you guys this story. Remember when I talked about a guy who tried to dumb down my father's wins a few posts back? Well, he plays in the twilight league I'm in and we ran into him earlier in the summer. I told my partner that I really wanted to beat this guy and went on to put too much pressure on myself and we got creamed 6-2 (6 being the most you can get) Of course, being the prick that he is, he had the scorecard and asked me if the score was right knowing full well that I knew what it was to rub it in.

 

Well, this same guy just won the senior championship. and after beating a team who had gone 7-1, we were playing them tonight.

 

I read and re-read all of your posts for some inspiration and then had a long heart to heart with my Dad. I pulledup in my cart and this guy is getting ready to play in front of us with his partner and I got out of the cart,  walked straight up to him and extended my hand and said" Hey, we're not going to do this without me shaking your hand and congratulate you on your win yesterday" He could barely look me in the face and said "thanks".

 

 Screwed up my tee shot on the first hole and we lost that hole. Next hole, par 3 about 140-145 yards, I hit my 9 iron what looked like a pretty good shot until we got there and I was 6 inches from the hole - BIRDIE. We went on, and the more we did, the more he started to struggle. We get to hole 4 and I smack another great tee shot and then a sandwedge into the green about 15 feet and make the putt - ANOTHER BIRD!  

 

Long story short, we beat them 4.5 to 3.5, I've seen people with high blood pressure turn red but his face was DARK RED. He had the scorecard and I leaned over to see what he was writing and he looks over and hastily says "Oh you don't need the scorecard, just go put your name on the board!" I just smiled and nodded.

 

I live literally 10 minutes away from my course and really have no interest in playing other courses unless of course I'm visiting there. 

 

My uncles...you need to know them. They meant well but were more glad to see me in that position than them. 

 

Next year cannot come fast enough......oh and by the way, we're playing the guy who won the club championship and is 8-0 in the regular season later this week. Winner goes to the finals 

[Salmon]

Congrats on the win

 

It's rather ammusing when you can do that to an opponant simply by being the better person and not letting anything get under your skin. It tends to un-nerve them like it did your opponant because it's the opposite to what they expect.

 

Best of luck with the road to the finals

[jpcgolf]

I would just play in as many tournaments as possible.  In my first tournament, I shot 122, but now, I play better in tournaments than a casual round because I am more focused, but I still can't get rid of that stupid snap hook on the first tee of every tournament.

[JMiller]

Again, another great post. Thank you!!

 

But I've got to tell you guys this story. Remember when I talked about a guy who tried to dumb down my father's wins a few posts back? Well, he plays in the twilight league I'm in and we ran into him earlier in the summer. I told my partner that I really wanted to beat this guy and went on to put too much pressure on myself and we got creamed 6-2 (6 being the most you can get) Of course, being the prick that he is, he had the scorecard and asked me if the score was right knowing full well that I knew what it was to rub it in.

 

In tournaments you need two signatures on the card. The Markers (your opponent) and yours (the player), in this case it happened to be that guy that was your marker. He might have just been asking to make sure he didn't get anything wrong.

 

When we play Carolinas Golf Association (CGA) events there is a tear-off on the bottom of the cards where you keep your own score to compare to what your marker wrote down. That way you can never get the score wrong before it gets posted on the leader board.

 

 

I live literally 10 minutes away from my course and really have no interest in playing other courses unless of course I'm visiting there.

 

That's fine, you'll just have to learn to smile at them and know that you are a better man / person then them as you don't show bigotry towards others due to social status, race, etc.

 

 

My uncles...you need to know them. They meant well but were more glad to see me in that position than them.

 

Next year cannot come fast enough......oh and by the way, we're playing the guy who won the club championship and is 8-0 in the regular season later this week. Winner goes to the finals 

 

Using the experience as a motivating factor to improve your game and work on things is the perfect outcome for the situation. Just realize that yes you will have poor holes / scores we all due including Tour players. Heck Rory had two 4 putts at the BMW and his world number 1.

 

 

Just to sort of get the point across that I'm not the best Tournament player in the world always here are some of my biggest single hole numbers in tournaments over the last two years. I have learned from trial and error, taking poor performances in events badly and moving forward.

Par 4 -- 8, Par 4 -- 9, Par 5 -- 11, Par 5 -- 13

 

You can dig through the bellow link if you want and look at some of the scores posted in this NC Mid-AM Qualifier that I played in late August. This is a field of guys that are 30+ in age and hold a 5.4 handicap or better. Hit the smaller + symbol to expand the cards. Highest score 97, single hole biggest score 13 on Hole 18 a Par 4.

http://www.ghintpp.com/carolinasgolf/TPPOnlineScoring/ResultsStroke.aspx?ID=653

 

Yes, I missed by 1 stroke that's a hard pill to swallow. However, I played poorly from a physical stand point didn't have my A game more like my D game. Mentally it was a great tournament for me minus two holes. I just wanted to learn from it and move on improve for next year. I know your feelings from experience, that's sort of why I decided to give you my advice on the subject.

 

There is no better practice for tournaments then more tournaments.

 

Good Luck

[mbrodeur86]

Thanks so much guys for your input. I will try to play more tourneys. There's a 3 person scramble here this weekend but I can't find anybody to play with. After last weekend, I understand. Hoping that maybe someone will hear what happened last night and maybe give me another chance to play. If not, I'm not gonna sweat it. There's always tourneys in other areas if I feel like travelling.