2UNDR - High Performance Underwear
Written by: Dan Mann
Men, you will agree, we have a certain set of assets we consider priceless. Thankfully the fine folks at 2UNDR in Vancouver, Canada have realized this and created as they put it; “A penthouse condo for your most valuable assets”, which they dub the Joey Pouch.
We’re talking underwear today, high performance athletic underwear, boxer brief style, that’s versatile for everyday use. At this point I hope you’ve figured out what assets we’re talking about, if not you can just skip ahead and ogle the pretty pictures...
Utilizing state-of-the-art construction techniques and materials, 2UNDR’s team of advanced textile engineers were able to separate your equipment from your body to reduce unwanted skin-on-skin contact. As horrifying as the prior reads you can stop squirming now, your junk will not be surgically removed, it’s just an analogy for the fancy crotch hammock you’ll get in every pair of 2UNDR.
BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Let’s get right to it. The big feature to a pair of 2UNDR men’s underwear is the JOEY POUCH. It’s an actual pouch (picture a kangaroo); you literally take your boys, all three pieces and stuff ‘em in there. I admit at times it’s annoying, but once they’re all in there you’re good.
The NO-DRIP-TIP (heh I see what they did there) is for moisture control. It’s a fabric design to wick away excess sweat so things can dry faster. A major advantage to this is it keeps thing very soft, cool and dry for longer periods of time.
As you can imagine 2UNDR has put a lot of thought and care into all aspects of these underwear. High end fabrics that are resistant to shrinkage, a very ergonomic fly system that functions as air conditioning, intelligently designed stitching to avoid rub zones and a roll resistant band.
ARE THERE DIFFERENT MODELS?
Oh yes, three versions to be precise, but I’ll leave the talking to 2UNDr for this section.
With 2UNDR™ you can feel it right away, pure heavenly softness. The SWING SHIFT™ caresses the skin with the finest beechwood fiber in our signature modal fabric. Additionally, the material resists shrinkage, and is less likely to fade or pill as a result of friction. The smoothness of the fabric also rejects hard water deposits, allowing it to stay soft through repeated wash cycles.
Swing Shift is available in 4 color choices: Grey, Black, red and Blue
The GEAR SHIFT™ with Coldskin™ is designed with an athletic cut to give a compression-like feel, and perform with all the quick-dry attributes demanded by today’s sport underwear. The GEAR SHIFT™ is ideal for someone who performs like an Olympian on the field, a Boss in the boardroom, and Don Juan in the bedroom. In other words, the GEAR SHIFT™ is for any high pressure situation where it is imperative you keep your cool. The material incorporates 100% all natural minerals helping to reduce heat buildup and control bacteria and fungus. This revolutionary fabric is used in the construction of the Joey Pouch™ while the rest is a smooth 90% Polyester / 10% Spandex blend, all designed for extreme comfort during extreme activity. The Black Tread GEAR SHIFT has been upgraded to a 8.5" inseam length.
Gear Shift is available in 5 color choices: Red Line, Blue Ski, Green Envy, Black Tread and GOLDMEMBER
The DAY SHIFT™ our softest, and best boxer yet. Modal and cotton were made for each other. The result of this partnership is the familiar texture and breathability of cotton, combined with the silkiness of modal. The DAY SHIFT™ is perfect for the everyday hustle and softens with each wash until nirvana sets in. We've included 2UNDR's greatest hits, a premium 1.25" roll-resistant waistband, signature front fly, flatlock seams, and, of course... the JOEY POUCH™. Why not slip into something a little more comfortable?
Gear Shift is available in 4 color choices: Merlot Trail, Grey Brick, Van Blue and Mocca Icon.
SO MANN, HOW’S YOUR JUNK FEEL?
FANFREAKINTASTIC! I looked that word up, I swear.
The three boxer brief models all live up to their billing quite well. As mentioned before there are times when inserting your junk into said pouch can be a minor annoyance. But let’s face it, if it means fresher and cleaner for those magic moments we need to be removing the boys I’m all for it. Are you still looking at the pictures?
I know everything’s in the right place, I just screamed at my wife: “There’s a party in my pants!” Let’s face it; things can get into a rather “sticky” situation down there making the pouch a genius idea.
All models are far Softer than my usual three for ten dollars boxer briefs from Costco, but trust me you’ll know when you put Day Shift on.
Each style is comfortable in a sports environment, but for the cleanest balls in your foursome I’d swing towards Gear Shift. The added compression and cooling factors are definitely a step above its siblings. Gear Shift's Joey Pouch is made from a unique fabric "Coldskin", by a Canadian company called Garmatex. Coldskin has crushed Jade in the fabric, lowering body temperatures by 3 to 6 degrees.Those who’ve experience chaffing from low hanging shorts seams will appreciate Gear Shift’s extra-long legs as well.
Yes I sound like a fan boy and yes they’re twenty five dollars a pair, but let me tell you a little story. I’ve had 2 sports hernia surgeries in the last five years. Yes that’s two too many knives near the nuts experiences any man should ever go through in his life. For me things in the groinal region have become far more tender (your squeamishness is understandable) and less naturally supported since. So as someone who has lived with the pains of hernias I can’t praise 2UNDR enough for the Joey Pouch support and their well thought out stitching sequences through the lower abdomen. Simply put, the Joey Pouch is a godsend all males must experience.
So if you’re a dude, go try on a pair of 2UNDR now. Maybe try them on right beside the mannequin, like I do. Why wait in line, right?
If you’re a woman reading this, and there’s a special man in your life, congratulations because men are awesome! Best part: you don’t have to wait until Christmas or bedtime to spoil his special parts. Buy him some ball-hugging 2UNDR now, then simply lie back and reap the rewards.