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Bogey in The Woods

Emotional Slump?

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So if your normal emotional state is always in flux, I am wondering if I am in an emotional slump when it comes to golf. I am wondering if any of this has happened to any of you. 

 

I have a friend who is a golf instructor at a large golf retailer. Good guy, and I really like hanging out with him.  I was at his facility the other day on the range when he came out and gave a lesson a few bays down. We said hi and he even borrowed one of my clubs to use as an example during the lesson he gave. 

 

Afterwards, I was on the putting green and he came up to chat catch up. We took turns putting and just talking. I mentioned that I hadnt played since my daughter was born and I needed to get back out on the course. I asked in conversation when the last round he played was. His answer shocked me. "I dont care about that,"was his reply. He said he just comes and gives his lessons as a job and goes and does other things. 

 

This seemed counter-intuitive to me. If I were good enough to teach golf, get paid for it, and play when I wanted; this would seem to be the dream job for me. I guess I can understand how he might have gotten to that point, but for me to hear that was very disheartening. 

 

then to add to that.......

 

I went out and played my first real round since my daughter's birth on Saturday. I had a miserable time. I played alone. It seemed I couldnt get ANYTHING to work right. It was so bad that I ended up not taking the score on the whole round. 

 

I think this may be pressure that I put on myself. I know I have only been playing a couple of years, but I guess I just expect more improvement from myself that I have gotten.  After that I just havent been able to play as much as I did when I picked the game up. I was averaging three rounds a month. Now, not even close. 

 

I also think that that I have got way too caught up in the courses I play. I used to go to any old cheap course that had $10 specials. The best was a little 9 holer up in Taylor called Mustang Creek. I used to be able to relax and take a round nice and comfortable pace. Now, no matter where I play, I feel like I have to hurry up. Even if there is no one behind me. 

 

 

I know a lot of this is babble. But the bottom line is this. I know I need to really find my center that I had when I picked golf up. Has this happened to you? What did you do?

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Getting to play golf with a new child at home is a tough one.  No matter what, in the back of your mind you are going to feel like you should be home and feel guilty for leaving.  My first advice would be to not feel guilty.  You still need some YOU time and getting out to the course for a couple hours has the potential to recharge the batteries and make being at home more enjoyable as well.

 

If you still feel like you need to hurry and shouldn't be out there I would try talking to your wife about it and work out a quid pro quo with her as well.  Stay home with your daughter and let her go out and do what she likes to do for a couple hours.  Then next time you golf it won't seem like you are ditching the family just for yourself.

 

The 2nd piece is setting proper expectations before you go out for the round.  Realize you haven't been playing/practicing as much and go into the round with lower expectations.  Don't worry about the score and instead search for good shots.  Don't take away a double bogey on 3, take away the pured 7i you hit on 6.  Go into the round expecting to hit some bad shots and just concentrate on enjoying the day and the good shots you have.

 

Last thing I'll leave you with is that golf is a hard game.  You're going to have ups and downs no matter how often you get to play.  When the rounds are spaced farther apart it's harder to get back out and play, but eventually the slump will end and then you'll just be wondering why you thought it was so hard before.

 

Stick with it and good luck!

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Bogey.......

 

YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER !!!!  one of the greatest gifts on the planet.  Golf..........Meh !  it will all come back my friend.  In the mean time enjoy watching her grow up cause the days will go by fast.

 

We need to get together soon an play,  Let me see what TXCATMAN is up to, maybe I can get Diddy and myself up to Austin or at least meet half way...

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I was in the same boat as you buddy!  Our daughter was born on March 20th and like you, I felt guilty even considering going golfing...so I bought a new carry bag and would go walk 9 holes and bring them along.  My wife was wanting to exercise and it got us all together! 

 

Don't worry about your scores either (pot meet kettle).  I stress out about this and expected to pick up right where I left off, but golf doesn't work that way!

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Yes it has and I'm sure it will again. Life's priorities change and so will what we want from a round of golf. I'm in a rut where I don't care about playing competitively but am loving playing for fun. Tremendous stress at work. A new child is a huge adjustment.

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Not sure if I lend anything here. I'm not an emotional guy per se'. I used to get angry at my self/game when I was younger. Now days I get disappointed. My "emotions" are not a contributing factor. Anxiety perhaps at times. I played in our skin game yesterday with an emotional guy. We also had a Nassau working between us. This guy would get so mad at almost every shot he hit. And they weren't  necessarily bad shots. Just not perfect shots. (like who does that?) I knew early on I owned him. Like Rev I'm not much interested in competitive golf anymore ie... tournaments. However, I do enjoy competitive golf with the guys in my usual weekend games. It's fun. And... no sandbagging.!! I much prefer this type of competition. It's like a mini tournament every week. I say get out and enjoy your game. However, if you don't enjoy it then quit. If you're looking to play like the pros. Forget it. You're not going to. Golf is hard and takes a special commitment.

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By emotional I think he's meaning just not into it - does that ever happen to you Plaid - where you just kind of lose the drive to play?  I know that it does me from time to time.

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I go up and down for sure. I'm a bit down on the game right this minute. I think that's because I don't have a group of guys I golf with.

 

I go solo a lot and when I'm not playing well or have other places I could/should be, it's almost  impossible to just "lose myself" in the game. I can't clear the headspace.

 

I'm so much better when I have people with me who I like to distract me. But... well... being a young father with a demanding job and nighttime freelance writing gigs makes it hard to develop golf relationships. HAHA

 

****.

 

I sound like I need therapy.

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I can't quote for some reason... but again like Rev cleared up for me. Yes, I've lost interest before. It was about 3 years ago. I went 3 months one winter without picking up a stick. (where I live I can play year round.) I'd convinced myself I enjoyed doing other stuff. And I did sometimes. But I missed golf. There's only so many same ole same old fall/winter festivals one can attend. Only so many days of shopping (which I hate anyway). Only so much piddling around out in the garage. And so on and so forth. I always felt I ought to at least be out hitting a few balls for a while and maybe seeing a few guys around the club. I got many calls to come play. Then one day I recall getting a call from an old bud who wanted me to come play with him. Just the two of us. Alright I said. I remember to this day having one of the most enjoyable rounds ever. We rode a cart that day and swapped a lot of old rehashed stories, drank a few beers, and made fun of each others game. Occasionally phrasing a good shot one of us made. Fortunately, I haven't been away from the game that long since. Sure I do other things all the time. But I love the game of golf for better or worse. It's who I am.

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I've "quit" golf on many occasions. by quit, I mean not have any want or need to play. The first time was in the spring months of my junior year in college. Just never wanted to play or had the itch. One day I just got over it and jumped back in. More recently around this time last year, maybe even late August, I didn't touch the clubs for 3 months and played in charity tournaments only. No particular reason, but I've realized in the months since that I went through a major depression because of work. In January at a tournament,  I got the itch again and have played probably around 75 rounds in the months since. 

Like PlaidJacket said, there's times you miss it but in my case was too lazy to do something about it. I couldn't get over my work problem and it bled into my personal life. Since then I'm happier at home and I leave work at work.

 

My advice to anyone is take a break whenever you feel it neccessary. I never knew how much I needed golf in my life until I came out of my depression. Ever since then, I look forward to every round.

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I can empathise with the changes at home, it scrambled my mind for a bit. It was guilt for me - didn't want to be away from home (aside from work) more than I needed to be. After about 6 months Mrs westy started pushing me out of the door!

 

Still happens now sometimes, if the family are off at an aquarium or meeting Thomas the tank engine and I'm on the golf course I realise I'd rather be with them. Concentration is gone, golfs rubbish etc etc!

 

But these days it's just balance; the wee man comes with me to chip and putt and when I go off to play a comp he always asks if I won when I get home - I must be a dissapointment to him on that front!

 

At the end of the day do what you enjoy, sometimes it will be golf - sometimes being with the family. To have the option is, in itself, pretty awesome.

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As the young kids say these days," I know that feels"

 

In all seriousness, I understand the frustration. Personally went from shooting high 70's to not being able to break 100 last weekend. Prompting me to get upset for the first time and flail the club around. Finished hitting pitches with a 3 wood to keep it in play!

Just got to go back to basics sometimes and shake off the bad shots.

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