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DarthGolfer

Whats your best joke?

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This thread was just golf jokes, but some pretty good ones in there...

 

http://forum.mygolfspy.com/topic/13045-best-golf-jokes/?hl=joke

 

A couple of my favs that aren't golf related.

 

- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?  A Stick

 

- What do you call a fish with no eye's?  Fshhhhhhhh

 

- Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  He was dead

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Did you hear about the guy with 5 legs?

 

He walks a little funny, but his pants fit him like a glove.

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All mine involve foul language so I'll refrain.

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Did you hear about the guy with 5 legs?

 

He walks a little funny, but his pants fit him like a glove.

You sir, just made my morning. That is fantastic lol.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?

 

Matt

 

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a ditch?

 

Phil

 

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?

 

Screwed

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Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

 

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What're you having?"

 

The duck doesn't say anything because it's a duck.

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Very slow day today.  It almost warmed up to freezing, but dropping to low 20's tonight.  Thought I'd check out your posts, but not many people around tonight.  Where is everyone??

 

Sooooo,

 

Four engineers get in a car.  The car won't start.

 

The Mechanical Engineer says:

"It's a broken starter."

 

The Electrical Engineer says:

"Dead battery."

 

The Chemical Engineer says:

"Impurities in the gasoline."

 

The IT Engineer says:

"Hey guys, I have an idea.  How about we all get out of the car and get back in."

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I really like this one. I'm a fan of anti-jokes.

 

What do you call a deaf and blind dog? Doesn't matter, he won't come to you anyway.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

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What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic suffering from dyslexia?

 

A man that stays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

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