josmi15 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 It's not a Golf joke, but my 9 year old came up with this joke 7 years ago. Why didn't the Pirate go to the movies? Because, he pooped his pants It was just the way she told it too, she forgot the punchline and ad libbed the last part Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy STUDque, HardcoreLooper, MDGolfHacker and 1 other 4 Quote Titleist 917D2 10.5 Ben Hogan GS53 3 Wood PING G425 MAX 5 Wood Cleveland UHX Launcher 3 Iron PING G30 5-PW Cleveland RTX 3.0 50/10 V-MG Cleveland RTX 3.0 54/14 V-FG Cleveland RTX 3.0 58/12 V -FG EVNROLL ER-3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cksurfdude Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Happy Madison redux If you're a fan of the original .. and laughed during the scene where Happy throws down with Bob Barker .. then watch.... https://business.facebook.com/ItsCjBobbleton/videos/1295105107209711/?platform=hootsuite ole gray 1 Quote WITB of an "aspiring" play-ah ... Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A) 5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R) 7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R) 4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3) 5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3) 6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite) Putter...EvnRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grips) ...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour. Forum Member tester for the Paradym X driver (2023) Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWLBMW Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 A man is trying to cross the border on a bicycle with two bags containing sand. Guy gets to the border, border agent says, “We have to check to see if your smuggling anythingâ€. Agents open the bags, full of sand and let the guy cross. The guy shows up every day that week, on a bicycle with two bags of sand. Each day the agents open up the bags and find sand. At the end of the week, one of the agents is on break in a cafe, sees the same guy on a bicycle with the bags of sand. The agent stops and confronts the guy. “Hey mister, I've been watching you all week, crossing the border and I know your smuggling something, i won't tell a soul, it's been driving me crazy, what are you smugglingâ€? The guy says, “Bicyclesâ€. Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy ole gray, cksurfdude, viking and 4 others 7 Quote WITB 2021 Driver: Cleveland Launcher HB Turbo 9* w/ C.Kua Stiff FW: Cleveland Launcher HB Turbo 15* w/ C.Kua Stiff HY: Cleveland Launcher Halo 19* w/ C.Kua Stiff Irons: Titleist 716 AP1 4-PW w/ KBS 90 Stiff Wedges: Vokey SM8 50*, 54*, & 60^ Putter: Scotty Cameron Studio Laguna 2 OR OG Futura Ball: ProV1/V1x OR Chrome Soft TT Bag: Sun Mountain 2019 4.5 14way carry Clothes: Nike OR Under Armour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bags Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone." Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the chemist, and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys." "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire." "When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing." He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer." "And believe me Mr., as God is my witness, all I did was tell her." very good lol Bags Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 A guy goes to a popular street corner and finds a prostitute known in the area. He asks her, what do you charge for a hand job. She responds--$20, would you like one. He say--no, I'm just trying to figure out how much money I'm saving by doing it for myself. cksurfdude, ole gray, AWLBMW and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 A dog lover, whose female dog came "in heat," was concerned about keeping it and her male dog separated. But she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked on me," he replied. tommc23, ole gray, cksurfdude and 5 others 8 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STUDque Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 I just came across this post. As a whole, it's pure gold and totally worth a look. Lots of great jokes (mostly clean) but fair warning it's mixed with a bit of NSFW material as well. Therefore here's the link for you brave ones to check out: https://imgur.com/gallery/b0JWF Should only take about 5 minutes to read through. Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy ole gray and cksurfdude 2 Quote In my Pisa, riding on a 3.5+ G410+ EXS 5W King F7 Hy i500 5-GW Equalizer 56/60 Heppler Ketsch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony@CIC Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they're flashing behind you. Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy Canucklehead, cksurfdude, MDGolfHacker and 6 others 9 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
excourse Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 How many airline pilots does out take to change a light bulb? Just one, he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him. Sent from my SM-N950U using MyGolfSpy mobile app MDGolfHacker, JTexGolfer, tommc23 and 2 others 5 Quote Wishon clubs, Odyssey CS stroke lab putter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they're flashing behind you. Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy From personal experience, I suggest that when a female officers pulls you over and she asks - do you know why I pulled you - its not a good idea to say - Sorry, but I'm married. If I may quote Skynyrd: I'm just red, white and blue. My neck is still red, my hair (what's left of it) is turning white, and my collar is still blue. viking, tony@CIC and Canucklehead 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Watched buddy launch club into woods. Other friend said "you better throw a provisional, you're not gonna find that one! Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy Canucklehead, MDGolfHacker, DawgDaddy and 5 others 8 Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me." tommc23, tony@CIC, cksurfdude and 2 others 5 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me." Good to see ya up and at em old pal! DawgDaddy and tommc23 2 Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Good to see ya up and at em old pal! Still pretty much down, I go see the doctor on Thursday and hopefully he will allow me to drive again. I still am not to lift anything but I am allowed to walk in my neighborhood, roughly a mile or mile and a half. That is the best part of the day for me right now. Hopefully I will be able to be back to chipping and putting in April. tommc23, viking, cksurfdude and 2 others 5 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Still pretty much down, I go see the doctor on Thursday and hopefully he will allow me to drive again. I still am not to lift anything but I am allowed to walk in my neighborhood, roughly a mile or mile and a half. That is the best part of the day for me right now. Hopefully I will be able to be back to chipping and putting in April. Glad you are up and walking as exercise is your friend however I'm glad you are listening to the doc on lifting and not pushing yourself. When are you up for physical therapy? DawgDaddy 1 Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Glad you are up and walking as exercise is your friend however I'm glad you are listening to the doc on lifting and not pushing yourself. When are you up for physical therapy? About 2 more months before that begins, his recovery routine is not chiseled in stone it is patient dependent. Hopefully I will be slightly ahead of the curve. Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 About 2 more months before that begins, his recovery routine is not chiseled in stone it is patient dependent. Hopefully I will be slightly ahead of the curve. That tells me how major your back surgery was. My buddy Hugh recently had significant back surgery and he is back playing golf after two months. Hang in there good buddy. I miss ya! DawgDaddy 1 Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 That tells me how major your back surgery was. My buddy Hugh recently had significant back surgery and he is back playing golf after two months. Hang in there good buddy. I miss ya! Miss you and KellyBo too, y'all will be my first trip to get in a round when I can play. But you knew that, ole gray 1 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Miss you and KellyBo too, y'all will be my first trip to get in a round when I can play. But you knew that, Can't wait! Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 A man and his wife go golfing, and on the 8th hole he shanks the ball into a nearby barn. "Darn it," he says, "I'll have to take a penalty on that ball." "No you don't," his wife says. "If I stand here and hold the barn door open, you should be able to get to the green in two." So she holds the door open, and he takes his swing. The ball hits his wife in the head, killing her instantly. A year to the day passes and it finds the golfer back on the same course, this time playing with a co-worker. As luck would have it, he shanks it again and ends up in the same barn. "Don't worry," says the co-worker, "I can hold the door open and you'll be back on the fairway like that." "Oh no," the golfer says, "I did the exact same thing a year ago with terrible results." "What was that?" the co-worker asks. "I got a 9." tommc23, TheWahoo, ole gray and 4 others 7 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony@CIC Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 That's funny - well not for the wife DawgDaddy 1 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkee Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 What do you call a guy with no arms or legs flying over a fence ? Homer! What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in an electric wheel chair ? Otto ! I would list the clubs I play with but I am like Taylormade and change them far too often ! DawgDaddy and viking 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimKnutt Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 T Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 T Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy REX? DawgDaddy, cnosil and tommc23 3 Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kor.A.Door Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 What do you call a guy with no arms or legs flying over a fence ? Homer! What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in an electric wheel chair ? Otto ! I would list the clubs I play with but I am like Taylormade and change them far too often ! Same guy, In a pile of leaves? Russell In a swimming pool? Bob Hanging on a wall? Art A woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene Laying in front of the door? Matt viking and STUDque 2 Quote Lefties are always in their Right Mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfriday101 Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Floating in the Gulf go Mexico? Slick. Laying in a hole in the ground? Phil. Next to a hole in the ground? Doug. What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter. He's not going to come anyway. tommc23, Kor.A.Door and viking 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Dann and Joe, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Joe didn't show up. Dann didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something… But after Joe hadn't shown up for a week or so, Dann really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Dann didn't know where Joe lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Dann figured he had seen the last of Joe, but one day, Dann approached the park and-- lo and behold! -- there sat Joe! Dann was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Joe, what in the world happened to you?' Joe replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Dann. What in the world for?' 'Well,' Joe said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Dann, 'I remember her. What about her?' 'Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'. 'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury. tommc23, poprocksncoke, viking and 1 other 4 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Woods Irons - Rogue ST Max Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - Evnroll ER2 Rangefinder - NX-10 Slope Ball - Pro Tour Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfspy_CG2 Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Here's one for Wahoo TEXT TO NEIGHBOR: Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text and I can't live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this. The truth is that when you're not around I've been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently and I know that that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you. Regards, Richard NEIGHBOR'S RESPONSE: Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door and shot Richard, killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard. SECOND TEXT MESSAGE: Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Correct had changed “wi-fi†to “wife.†Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all. Regards, Richard Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy MDGolfHacker, cnosil, Kenny B and 4 others 7 Quote G430 Max 10K TSiR1 15.0 Aldlia Ascent 60g TSR2 18.0 PX Aldila Ascent 6og TSi1 20 Aldila Ascent Shafts R T350 5-GW SteelFiber I80 SM10 48F/54M and58K S159 48S/52S/56W/60B Select 5.5 Flowback 35" ProV1 Play number 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Carolina, yep, if you live by technology, you can die by technology. At least, I can take some comfort that I am in no real danger in that regard. A statement that genuinely upsets and maddens me is: "Sorry, our computers are down". During most of my professional life, how the heck did we survive and get things done?? Well, we knew how to actually do things and respond without the need for properly programmed computers. When we did it ourselves, I knew how it was done or computed, I just don't have the same trust in computers. How do I know if the programmer actually knew what they were doing. cksurfdude 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cnosil Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 .When we did it ourselves, I knew how it was done or computed, I just don't have the same trust in computers. How do I know if the programmer actually knew what they were doing.You may have known how to do something but how did I know the next person did? With the manual process I have to rely on how the person was trained. With a computerized process I rely on what was identified and verified by an expert user to ensure the process is followed each time. Ultimately, just like you knew what you were doing the programmer knows what they are doing. I have more faith in the programmer than the expert communicating all the information to the programmer. TheWahoo 1 Quote Driver: G400 Max 9* w/ KBS Tour Driven Fairway: TS3 15* w/Project X Hzardous Smoke Hybrids: 915H 21* w/KBS Tour Graphite Hybrid Prototype 915H 24* w/KBS Tour Graphite Hybrid Prototype Irons: TR20V 6-11 w/Vizard TR20-85 Graphite Wedge: 54/12D, 60/8M w/:Accra iWedge 90 Graphite Putter: Sacks Parente MC 3 Stripe Backup Putters: Milled Collection RSX 2, mFGP2, Futura 5W, TM-180 Member: MGS Hitsquad since 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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