Whats your best joke?

[viking]

[viking]

[viking]

[viking]

[viking]

[viking]

[viking]

[viking]

http://img.picturequotes.com/2/624/623689/funny-golf-quote-3-picture-quote-1.jpg

[viking]

[Jmikecpa]

Not a joke but a real life funny story.

I went out to dinner tonight with the Monsignor that married my wife and I close to 20 years ago.

I asked him how his golf game is these days. His response “let’s talk about the vows of poverty and celibacy...or as I call them the positives versus my golf game”.


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[viking]

[Tom D.]

One of my buddies just posted this one:

Some little kid just called me a fat-ass. So if you're in Lowe's and missing a child, he's in the red LG dryer.

[GolfSpy BOS]

My wife shared this one with me... so it doesn’t qualify as a Dad joke...

What do you call a T-Rex who recently started selling guns?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A small arms dealer. 

 

[PMookie]

I have FOUR best jokes right now:

My Detroit professional sports teams!!!!

[cksurfdude]

One of my wife's first graders gave her this one.....

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

..

In case.. he got.. a hole in one!!

[Kenny B]

2 hours ago, cksurfdude said:

One of my wife's first graders gave her this one.....

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

..

In case.. he got.. a hole in one!!

I know I shouldn't do this but......   There are several golfers in the "Still Aceless Thread" that probably don't have to wear two pairs of pants.   

[tony@CIC]

I know I shouldn't do this but......   There are several golfers in the "Still Aceless Thread" that probably don't have to wear two pairs of pants.   

You would have to bring that up


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[Jmikecpa]

Not a light beer fan so this is funny, at least to me.


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[cksurfdude]

4 minutes ago, Jmikecpa said:

Not a light beer fan so this is funny, at least to me.

HAH!!!! Love it

I'll always remember, from waaaay back, an old guy saying about lite beer.. "Put it back in the horse."

[Rickp]

Not a light beer fan so this is funny, at least to me.


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I’m going to poach this for the Bacon Boyz.


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[cksurfdude]

[CarlH]

[Kenny B]

[mikeanthony]

[Reesedw]

"John Daly walks into a new bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar:

FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!

So John asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender says, “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there’s a woman up-stairs who’s never had an orgasm. You gotta make her have one and make things right for her.”

John says, “Well, I’ve done some outrageous things in my life, but as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then it gets crazier from there.”

Well, as time goes on John drinks a few, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon of pepper tequila with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears are now streaming down his face.

Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, and then silence. John staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches were all over his body.

“Now” he says “Where’s that woman with the sore tooth?”

[IDontGiveAchuck]

On 4/30/2021 at 3:34 PM, Reesedw said:

"John Daly walks into a new bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar:

FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!

So John asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender says, “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there’s a woman up-stairs who’s never had an orgasm. You gotta make her have one and make things right for her.”

John says, “Well, I’ve done some outrageous things in my life, but as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then it gets crazier from there.”

Well, as time goes on John drinks a few, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon of pepper tequila with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears are now streaming down his face.

Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, and then silence. John staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches were all over his body.

“Now” he says “Where’s that woman with the sore tooth?”

You and I are going to sit down and have a long talk about how inappropriate this is, young man!! 

[cksurfdude]

No, didn't buy this though I do find it humorous

[DawgDaddy]

[tony@CIC]

Some good advice here 

 

[cksurfdude]