Jump to content
Forum Structure Change: Equipment, University, and *Community* Read more... ×
Win a Custom Wedge Wizard Wedge: MGS Trick Shot Challenge Read more... ×
DarthGolfer

Whats your best joke?

Recommended Posts

1 minute ago, PING Apologist #9 said:

Permission to copy-n-paste this so I can share... LMFAO! Too funny!

Permission granted 😉

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!" "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old. "No, I crap every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00!"

  • Like 8
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, JohnSmalls said:

A buddy sent me this earlier.  Enjoy!

Hmm. Dix Hills is nearby me, and I've occasionally played there. Happy to say I missed that day. Sorry johnsmalls

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, cksurfdude said:

Hmm. Dix Hills is nearby me, and I've occasionally played there. Happy to say I missed that day. Sorry johnsmalls

I'm with you.  That would have made for an extremely frustrating day on the golf course!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, JohnSmalls said:

I'm with you.  That would have made for an extremely frustrating day on the golf course!

That episode is funny. Make this shot and it’s over, bam. Ride off into the sunset. Can he come putt for me. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, JohnSmalls said:

I'm with you.  That would have made for an extremely frustrating day on the golf course!

That place is just about in my backyard and I have never played it.  Based on the people on the course that has six hour round written all over it.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, Jmikecpa said:

That place is just about in my backyard and I have never played it.  Based on the people on the course that has six hour round written all over it.

Ha, you called it - can easily be 2 1/2 hrs in-season .... and that's on a *short* 9 hole course. No joke..... 😞

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ha, you called it - can easily be 2 1/2 hrs in-season .... and that's on a *short* 9 hole course. No joke.....
 


And that is why I gave up on Long Island public golf.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my first parachute jump today and I was terrified.

 

This guy strapped himself to me and we jumped out.

 

As we plummeted he said, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Jmikecpa said:

That place is just about in my backyard and I have never played it.  Based on the people on the course that has six hour round written all over it.

That's the truth.  Now we know how/why the impractical joker boys got onto that course.  

17 hours ago, Kor.A.Door said:

That episode is funny. Make this shot and it’s over, bam. Ride off into the sunset. Can he come putt for me. 

You and me both.  Maybe we just need to steal other people's Top Flites?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When it comes to putters, try before you buy: Never buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. 
The game of golf is 90-percent mental and 10-percent mental. 
I once played a golf course that was so difficult I lost two balls in the ball washer! 

 

  • Like 2
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, PING Apologist #9 said:

I once played a golf course that was so difficult I lost two balls in the ball washer! 

That's a line that Rodney Dangerfield would love! 

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×