Jump to content

Whats your best joke?


DarthGolfer

Recommended Posts

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. 

“Will I die?” she asks. 

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” 

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. 

She looks great! 

The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. 

Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains. 

“That’s true,” says God. 

“So what happened?” she asks. 

God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you...”
 
  • Like 3
  • Haha 5

Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

Link to comment
Share on other sites

54433333_2046171529016328_4439652666754203648_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=67404546a4946bc67986ac4bc4983590&oe=5D1D8286

  • Like 1
  • Haha 7

Driver: :ping-small: G400 Max 9 degree set to +1, Aldila Extreme Green 55 gram R shaft 

Fairway: :taylormade-small: M4 3W (16.5*) 5W (21*) 7W (24*) -- stock R shafts.

Irons: :callaway-small: Apex CF19 6-9, PW, AW, SW(bent to 52) KBSTour Graphite  70g shafts R +1/2 inch 3 up

Wedges:  :Sub70: JB 56 and JB 60 KBS Tour90 V Steel shafts +1/2 inch soft stepped

Putter: :odyssey-small: Stroke Lab 7S

Ball: :Snell: MTB-X

My Photography can be seen at Smugmug

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just in time for tax season! 

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to The President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:



Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

 

  • Like 5
  • Haha 2

Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Currently the "so you want to be a tester" thread. I know we agreed not to make fun of people but the lack of reading makes me laugh when you tell people to read the thread then apply the right place and people continue to post in it. 

  • Like 6
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Currently the "so you want to be a tester" thread. I know we agreed not to make fun of people but the lack of reading makes me laugh when you tell people to read the thread then apply the right place and people continue to post in it. 

It is like the MGS blog posts. I enjoy reading all the comments as much as reading the article.
  • Like 3
  • Haha 1

Driver:  :ping-small: G400 Max 9* w/ KBS Tour Driven
Fairway: :titelist-small: TS3 15* set  to 16.5* w/Project X Hzardous Smoke
Hybrids:  :titelist-small: 816H1 19* set at 18* w/KBS Tour Graphite Hybrid Prototype
                :titelist-small: 915H  21*  w/KBS Tour Graphite Hybrid Prototype
               :titelist-small: 915H 24*  w/KBS Tour Graphite Hybrid Prototype
Irons:      :honma:TR20V 6-11 w/Vizard TR20-85 Graphite
Wedge:  :callaway-small: 54-10S   :cleveland-small: 588  58-12
Putter:  :seemore-small: mFGP2

Backups:  :bobby-grace-1: 6330, :taylormade-small:TM-180, :odyssey-small: Milled Collection RSX 2, Bellum Winmore 787

 

Member:  MGS Hitsquad since 2017697979773_DSCN2368(Custom).JPG.a1a25f5e430d9eebae93c5d652cbd4b9.JPG

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, cnosil said:


It is like the MGS blog posts. I enjoy reading all the comments as much as reading the article.

 

1 hour ago, ole gray said:

I sprayed coffee all over my dog yesterday reading the "How to Apply Thread".   Folks were applying for the Cobra testing in there faster than stud bull on a hawt heifer!

I was literally laughing out loud when I read the posts in that thread.  I SOOO wanted to post something but I refrained.  HAHA!  🤣

  • Like 4

WITB:  Do I like Titleist or what? 

 

Driver:     TSi2 9* Project X HZRDUS RDX Smoke C3 setting

Fairways   HZRDUS Smoke 13.5* & 19* C3 setting

Driving Iron:   U500 17* Fujikura Blue Ventus HB Velocore 

Irons   T300 4 & 5 iron, T200 6 - W Project X 6.0 1* up

Wedges   SM7 48*, 52*, 56*

Putter    Newport 2

Ball   2020 ProV1

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ole gray said:

I sprayed coffee all over my dog yesterday reading the "How to Apply Thread".   Folks were applying for the Cobra testing in there faster than stud bull on a hawt heifer!

OG you MUST publish a book with your "sayings".  I get a laugh every time I read one! 

  • Like 8
  • Love 1

Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, tommc23 said:

Currently the "so you want to be a tester" thread. I know we agreed not to make fun of people but the lack of reading makes me laugh when you tell people to read the thread then apply the right place and people continue to post in it. 

Maybe we can create a "private' thread for all of those posts and especially the 2018 Odyssey Putter contest! 

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1

Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OG you MUST publish a book with your "sayings".  I get a laugh every time I read one! 
I second that!

Try concentrating playing golf with him cracking jokes. Impossible! But yet a hell of a lot of fun. The man is awesome!

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

  • Like 5
  • Love 1

WITB:  Do I like Titleist or what? 

 

Driver:     TSi2 9* Project X HZRDUS RDX Smoke C3 setting

Fairways   HZRDUS Smoke 13.5* & 19* C3 setting

Driving Iron:   U500 17* Fujikura Blue Ventus HB Velocore 

Irons   T300 4 & 5 iron, T200 6 - W Project X 6.0 1* up

Wedges   SM7 48*, 52*, 56*

Putter    Newport 2

Ball   2020 ProV1

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, tony@CIC said:

OG you MUST publish a book with your "sayings".  I get a laugh every time I read one! 

Awww thanks cuz!  Laughter is good for the soul and we don't do it enough. 

  • Like 3

Callaway  Epic Flash 10.5 Driver
Callaway MAVRIK  3 hybrid 18 Degree
Callaway Big Bertha 2019  4 hybrid 
Callaway  Max 5 - PW Irons
Cleveland CBX 2 50 & 54 Degree Wedge
Cleveland CBX Full-Face Wedge 58 degree
Odyssey
White Hot OG 7 S

 

 



 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was literally laughing out loud when I read the posts in that thread.  I SOOO wanted to post something but I refrained.  HAHA!  🤣

You guys know me I’m usually the first to jump on with both feet, it takes all I got not to call these people idiots.


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy
  • Like 3

CobraConnectChallenge3

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OG you MUST publish a book with your "sayings".  I get a laugh every time I read one! 

Where I’m from they’re not “sayings” it’s just how we talk. Especially older folks (not saying you’re old OG)


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy
  • Like 2
  • Haha 1

CobraConnectChallenge3

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, robertson153 said:


Where I’m from they’re not “sayings” it’s just how we talk. Especially older folks (not saying you’re old OG)


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

I can't wait to move south, I'll be happier than a hog in slop!

(Did I do it right OG?)

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1

Wilson Staff C300 9.0* Fujikura Pro 58 stiff

Callaway Rogue 3W Mitsubishi Diamana D+ LTD 80 stiff

Mizuno MP-18 MMC FLI-HI 2 iron UST Mamiya Recoil 95 stiff

Ping I200's 4-W Aerotech Steelfiber I110 CW stiff

Ping Glide 52* and 58* stiff

Bettinardi Studio Stock #38 Armlock

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

34 minutes ago, robertson153 said:


Where I’m from they’re not “sayings” it’s just how we talk. Especially older folks (not saying you’re old OG)


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Now ya cooking with Crisco!  I concur with your definition of "sayings".   We talk funnier than a mocking bird on stump liquor. 😳🐦

  • Like 5

Callaway  Epic Flash 10.5 Driver
Callaway MAVRIK  3 hybrid 18 Degree
Callaway Big Bertha 2019  4 hybrid 
Callaway  Max 5 - PW Irons
Cleveland CBX 2 50 & 54 Degree Wedge
Cleveland CBX Full-Face Wedge 58 degree
Odyssey
White Hot OG 7 S

 

 



 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35 minutes ago, GB13 said:

I can't wait to move south, I'll be happier than a hog in slop!

(Did I do it right OG?)

Heck OG's got it so good right now he's sh**ing in tall cotton!

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1

In my       :ping-small: DLX Cart Bag:
Driver
:    :ping-small: G410 SFT, set to 9.5*, Mitsubishi Tensei CK Orange 60, stiff (MGS Official 2019 Tester)
3W:          :ping-small: G-Series SF TEC, set to 16*, Aldila Tour Blue ATX, 65g, stiff
5W:          :ping-small: G400 SFT, set to 19*, Aldila Tour Blue ATX, 65g, stiff
7W:         :ping-small: G410 SFT, set to 22*. Alta CB 65 Red, stiff

Irons:       :ping-small: GMax, Green Dot, 5-PW, Project X Graphite Blue 6.0, 80-90g , stiff
Wedges: :ping-small: Glide 2.0 Stealth, 50* SS, 54* ES & 60*/8 Forged MGS Special from the Wedge Wizard, Green Dot, Alta CB graphite, 84g, stiff
Putter:     :ping-small: Vault 2.0 B60 Copper, 33", black dot w/GP SNSR grip (PING Sigma 2 Fetch under "see-trials")
Ball:       :Snell: MTB BLACK (MGS Official 2018 Tester for the :Snell: MTB RED)
Shoes:     :footjoy-small:  Classics Tour w/Black Widow Softspikes

Disabled Marine Veteran. Semper Fi!

#No apologies, just Play Your Best
#Powertotheplayers

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35 minutes ago, GB13 said:

I can't wait to move south, I'll be happier than a hog in slop!

(Did I do it right OG?)

Yes sir boss man!   Back when I was a young whipper snapper, slopping the hogs was a step up from worming the goats.  My Dad use to make me wrestle the goats so he could slip a big ole worm pill down their throats.  Now I'm here to tell ya, them goats didn't particular like a pill the size of an elongated golf ball shoved down their throats.   They'd buck like a rodeo mule with a cow prod stuck up his booty.  All I could do was hold on for dear life and hope the goat didn't stomp me into oblivion.  I suppose it wasn't all bad because my football coach said I made one heck of a linebacker.  I told em, I owe it all to the goats coach.  He looked at me kind of funny and said whatever.   Anyways once I got promoted to the hog slopping job I felt like I had hit the jackpot! 

  • Like 3
  • Love 1
  • Haha 1

Callaway  Epic Flash 10.5 Driver
Callaway MAVRIK  3 hybrid 18 Degree
Callaway Big Bertha 2019  4 hybrid 
Callaway  Max 5 - PW Irons
Cleveland CBX 2 50 & 54 Degree Wedge
Cleveland CBX Full-Face Wedge 58 degree
Odyssey
White Hot OG 7 S

 

 



 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, ole gray said:

Yes sir boss man!   Back when I was a young whipper snapper, slopping the hogs was a step up from worming the goats.  My Dad use to make me wrestle the goats so he could slip a big ole worm pill down their throats.  Now I'm here to tell ya, them goats didn't particular like a pill the size of an elongated golf ball shoved down their throats.   They'd buck like a rodeo mule with a cow prod stuck up his booty.  All I could do was hold on for dear life and hope the goat didn't stomp me into oblivion.  I suppose it wasn't all bad because my football coach said I made one heck of a linebacker.  I told em, I owe it all to the goats coach.  He looked at me kind of funny and said whatever.   Anyways once I got promoted to the hog slopping job I felt like I had hit the jackpot! 

It'd be tougher than goat wrestling to find a better a better storyteller on this here forum. 

  • Like 2
  • Love 1

Wilson Staff C300 9.0* Fujikura Pro 58 stiff

Callaway Rogue 3W Mitsubishi Diamana D+ LTD 80 stiff

Mizuno MP-18 MMC FLI-HI 2 iron UST Mamiya Recoil 95 stiff

Ping I200's 4-W Aerotech Steelfiber I110 CW stiff

Ping Glide 52* and 58* stiff

Bettinardi Studio Stock #38 Armlock

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...