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DarthGolfer

Whats your best joke?

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My wife is a teacher and, of course, her school is currently closed and they've sent out a study plan for the kids to work on at home.

And so, of course, some clever "home school" jokes are being passed around including...

"There was trouble at school today - two kids got suspended for fighting and one teacher got fired for drinking on the job."

😆

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1 hour ago, cksurfdude said:

My wife is a teacher and, of course, her school is currently closed and they've sent out a study plan for the kids to work on at home.

And so, of course, some clever "home school" jokes are being passed around including...

"There was trouble at school today - two kids got suspended for fighting and one teacher got fired for drinking on the job."

😆

We need a 'groan' emoji 😂

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1 minute ago, tony@CIC said:

We need a 'groan' emoji 😂

I have always thought that!!

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19 minutes ago, Kenny B said:

Frightened, the woman asks me if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food had poisoned me. I answered...of course not!
I was admitted because I bent down to smell the butt of a bulldog and I was hit by a truck 😂😂😂
 

I would have assumed that this has happened to all of us.

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14 minutes ago, Jmikecpa said:

I cracked at 2PM yesterday and went out on the patio with a beer

🎵 ..it's five o'clock somewhere... 🎶

Plus, very important - it's not drinking alone if the dog is with you 😝

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I interrupt the COVID-19 pandemic to bring you this lil tidbit...

Last night I went to Walmart to buy a bag of food for my dogs.
Already in line, a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog.
I stare at her (those who know me will imagine my gaze ) ...but then why would I be buying dog food...right? 
So on impulse I told her no, that I didn’t have a dog, that I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but 15 pounds less!
I told her that it was the perfect diet and that all you had to do is carry the kibbles in your pocket and eat one or two every time you feel hungry (I have to mention that practically everyone in line was interested in my story).
Frightened, the woman asks me if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food had poisoned me. I answered...of course not!
I was admitted because I bent down to smell the butt of a bulldog and I was hit by a truck 
I thought the man behind her was going to have a heart attack...he was laughing so hard!

I’ve done similar things like that and SWMBO gets really upset, that’s after she stops laughing, Good job


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy
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 ..it's five o'clock somewhere... 
Plus, very important - it's not drinking alone if the dog is with you 


Yes she was. Laying in the sun like a darn cat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Sums up my week


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

IMG_0936.png
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Home schooling is proving a challenge. I've child proofed the house, but they're still getting in.

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Mrs Pug (Yelling through the door): "Thanks for the delivery. Just leave the groceries on the porch."

Me: "Let me in the damn house!"

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