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Whats your best joke?


DarthGolfer

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1 hour ago, ole gray said:

I was at the golf course yesterday when one of the ole farts starting coughing .   He headed over to ask me for a yardage and I hauled arse 😳

 

tenor.gif

Should have hit him with that square strike! 

SkyCaddie SX400
Gameday
Vessel Sunday 2.0/ Ogio Silencer
:ping-small: G410+, Tensei CK Orange
:callaway-small:  Mavrik 3w, Evenflow Riptide
:wilson_staff_small:Wilson D7 Irons 4-GW,  Dynamic Gold AMT
:ping-small:Glide  52, 56 ES
:nike-small: Method Core Drone
:titleist-small:-ProV1x (left dash)

Romans 10:9

In Timeout: :EVNROLL:ER2

 


Classic Bag
Jones Collegiate Clemson Stand Bag

:ping-small:Eye 2 Laminate
:wilson_staff_small: 1973 Staff Dynapower 4-PW
:ping-small:Anser

:wilson_staff_small: DUO

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Some more twisted virus humor...

20200406_191025.jpg.058cbff0a618140dd044ad67dc2181af.jpg

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
..PXG Gen5 0311XF (PX EvenFlow Riptide CB 50/5.0)
..Callaway Bertha Mini 1.5 (UST ProForce V2-HL 5/F3)
..Cleveland XL Halo Hy-Wood (PX Cypher 40/5.0)
..Callaway Rogue ST Max OS 4H (PX Cypher Black 50/5.0)
..Tour Edge Exotics EXS 7W (Tensei CK Blue 50/R)
..Calaway Big Bertha 5H (Recoil 460 ESX/F3)
..PXG 0211 7i-GW (Mitsubishi MMT 60/A) 
..Cleveland CBX2 54 and CBX 60 (Rotex graphite)
..EvnRoll ER5 (P2 Reflex grip) or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grip)
..all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart.

Official Forum Member tester for the Paradym/X driver (2023)
Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

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18 minutes ago, cksurfdude said:

Some more twisted virus humor...

20200406_191025.jpg.058cbff0a618140dd044ad67dc2181af.jpg

😱

Left Hand orientation

:taylormade-small:SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft 

Cobra  Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter

:ShotScope: V3
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 

EZGO TXT 48v cart
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 

2020 Official Teste:SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

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OK here's one golfers may enjoy, but.... NSWFHICP (Not Safe for Work From Home If Children are Present)

 

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
..PXG Gen5 0311XF (PX EvenFlow Riptide CB 50/5.0)
..Callaway Bertha Mini 1.5 (UST ProForce V2-HL 5/F3)
..Cleveland XL Halo Hy-Wood (PX Cypher 40/5.0)
..Callaway Rogue ST Max OS 4H (PX Cypher Black 50/5.0)
..Tour Edge Exotics EXS 7W (Tensei CK Blue 50/R)
..Calaway Big Bertha 5H (Recoil 460 ESX/F3)
..PXG 0211 7i-GW (Mitsubishi MMT 60/A) 
..Cleveland CBX2 54 and CBX 60 (Rotex graphite)
..EvnRoll ER5 (P2 Reflex grip) or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grip)
..all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart.

Official Forum Member tester for the Paradym/X driver (2023)
Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

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OK here's one golfers may enjoy, but.... NSWFHICP (Not Safe for Work From Home If Children are Present)
[/url]  

I think that’s a younger version of the “Bacon Boyz”.


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; PXG 0311XF Cypher 50 gr Senior  
5 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr       
7 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr      
5 hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous R2     
Irons; Mizuno JPX 923HM 7-GW Recoil 460 F2
Wedges; Titleist S9 54*, Mizuno SW 56*

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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For the elder members...   🤣 🤣 🤣

Ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old.    Well . . .

My name is Alice, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply-lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

“Yes. Yes, I did.. I'm a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “In 1975, why do you ask?”

You were in my class!”, I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then, that ugly,

old,

bald,

wrinkled faced,

gray-haired,

decrepit,

jerk

asked,

“What did you teach??”

We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.”

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11 hours ago, toehold57 said:

Oh Lord, I must be getting old. I graduated in 1975 emoji31.png

 

Don't worry you're not done yet .... I graduated HS in '74 and still working on getting "better", plus there's a number of even *older* dudes on here who are still really good players!!

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
..PXG Gen5 0311XF (PX EvenFlow Riptide CB 50/5.0)
..Callaway Bertha Mini 1.5 (UST ProForce V2-HL 5/F3)
..Cleveland XL Halo Hy-Wood (PX Cypher 40/5.0)
..Callaway Rogue ST Max OS 4H (PX Cypher Black 50/5.0)
..Tour Edge Exotics EXS 7W (Tensei CK Blue 50/R)
..Calaway Big Bertha 5H (Recoil 460 ESX/F3)
..PXG 0211 7i-GW (Mitsubishi MMT 60/A) 
..Cleveland CBX2 54 and CBX 60 (Rotex graphite)
..EvnRoll ER5 (P2 Reflex grip) or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grip)
..all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart.

Official Forum Member tester for the Paradym/X driver (2023)
Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

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HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

Bonus Question:  Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.  I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.  Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 

  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
  2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.  The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ........leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN    A+

We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.”

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Don't worry you're not done yet .... I graduated HS in '74 and still working on getting "better", plus there's a number of even *older* dudes on here who are still really good players!!

Sure is


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; PXG 0311XF Cypher 50 gr Senior  
5 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr       
7 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr      
5 hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous R2     
Irons; Mizuno JPX 923HM 7-GW Recoil 460 F2
Wedges; Titleist S9 54*, Mizuno SW 56*

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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Don't worry you're not done yet .... I graduated HS in '74 and still working on getting "better", plus there's a number of even *older* dudes on here who are still really good players!!

Sure is


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; PXG 0311XF Cypher 50 gr Senior  
5 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr       
7 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr      
5 hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous R2     
Irons; Mizuno JPX 923HM 7-GW Recoil 460 F2
Wedges; Titleist S9 54*, Mizuno SW 56*

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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Sums up my wife.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

IMG_1059.jpg

WITB 2023

:callaway-small: Epic Max LS 10.5* Graphite Design AD DI 7x

:callaway-small: X2Hot Pro 3 Deep Graphite Design AD GT 8x

:callaway-small: Apex UW 17* UST Elements Wind 9x

:callaway-small: Apex UT 21* Graphite Design AD DI 95x

:callaway-small: X Forged CB 5 - PW MMT 105TX

:callaway-small: Jaws Raw 50* TTDG TI Spinner 115

:callaway-small: Jaws Full Toe 54* & 58* TTDG TI Spinner 115

:odyssey-small: Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34"

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Sums up my wife.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
IMG_1059.jpg.c9f5de4915aec4fbe20dbc3b499e300f.jpg

Oh ya


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; PXG 0311XF Cypher 50 gr Senior  
5 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr       
7 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr      
5 hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous R2     
Irons; Mizuno JPX 923HM 7-GW Recoil 460 F2
Wedges; Titleist S9 54*, Mizuno SW 56*

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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What's the difference between Shrek and a bowl of carrots?

One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast!

Driver: :callaway-small:XHot; 10.5°; Project X S Shaft

3 Wood: :callaway-small: Razr X; Stiff shaft

3 Hybrid: :callaway-small: Big Bertha Heavenwood; Loft 20°; Standard Shaft 

Irons: :callaway-small:Diablo Edge; Steel Shafts; Stock Loft and Lie 

Wedges: :vokey-small:SM5 52.12F; SM5 56.14F; SM4 60.04

Putter: :edel-golf-1: Faldo G90

Grips: Golfpride CP2 Standard 

Right-Handed

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Stole this but still funny.



Husband: My wife is missing. She went out yesterday and hasn't come home.

Sergeant: What's her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure.
Probably a little over five-feet.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my car.
Sergeant: Was there anything of value in the car?

Husband: Yes, my golf clubs. Titleist TS3 9 degree driver with Tensei Orange TX flex CK60 with 74 Tungsten Prepreg shaft. Titleist TS3 15 degree Fairway woods with Hzrdus 6.5x 76g shaft. Titleist 3-4 718 TMB irons with Nippon modus 120 x shafts. Titleist 718 AP2 irons 5-50deg with nippon modus 120 x shafts. Titleist Vokey Sm8 52,56 & 60 degree wedges. Scotty Cameron Newport 2.5 35 inch putter with Superstroke Pistol GT Tour Skull grip. Titleist mid Staff bag. Nikon range finder. 12 x pro V1s. 3 x Titleist players golf gloves. Titleist towel. Alignment sticks with stitched leather cover. Dubai Hills by Jumeirah bag tag.

Sergeant: Hang in there. We'll find your clubs.”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

WITB 2023

:callaway-small: Epic Max LS 10.5* Graphite Design AD DI 7x

:callaway-small: X2Hot Pro 3 Deep Graphite Design AD GT 8x

:callaway-small: Apex UW 17* UST Elements Wind 9x

:callaway-small: Apex UT 21* Graphite Design AD DI 95x

:callaway-small: X Forged CB 5 - PW MMT 105TX

:callaway-small: Jaws Raw 50* TTDG TI Spinner 115

:callaway-small: Jaws Full Toe 54* & 58* TTDG TI Spinner 115

:odyssey-small: Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34"

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Stole this but still funny.



Husband: My wife is missing. She went out yesterday and hasn't come home.

Sergeant: What's her height?

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure.
Probably a little over five-feet.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my car.
Sergeant: Was there anything of value in the car?

Husband: Yes, my golf clubs. Titleist TS3 9 degree driver with Tensei Orange TX flex CK60 with 74 Tungsten Prepreg shaft. Titleist TS3 15 degree Fairway woods with Hzrdus 6.5x 76g shaft. Titleist 3-4 718 TMB irons with Nippon modus 120 x shafts. Titleist 718 AP2 irons 5-50deg with nippon modus 120 x shafts. Titleist Vokey Sm8 52,56 & 60 degree wedges. Scotty Cameron Newport 2.5 35 inch putter with Superstroke Pistol GT Tour Skull grip. Titleist mid Staff bag. Nikon range finder. 12 x pro V1s. 3 x Titleist players golf gloves. Titleist towel. Alignment sticks with stitched leather cover. Dubai Hills by Jumeirah bag tag.

Sergeant: Hang in there. We'll find your clubs.”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oldie but a goodie


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; PXG 0311XF Cypher 50 gr Senior  
5 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr       
7 wood; Ping 425, Senior Shaft 55 gr      
5 hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous R2     
Irons; Mizuno JPX 923HM 7-GW Recoil 460 F2
Wedges; Titleist S9 54*, Mizuno SW 56*

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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My Fiance- "I'm So Hungry"

Me- "Hi Hungry, I'm Chris"

And she's still with me 2.5 + years now... she is clearly my better half! LOL 🤣

In my bag:

Driver:  :Hogan: Ben Hogan GS53 10.5* Stiff Mitsubishi tensei blue Stiff

3 Wood: :Sub70: 939 x 15 deg. UST Proforce Black V2 7F4 stiff

Hybrid:  :Sub70: 939x Hybrid UST 680 recoil shaft stiff

Irons: :Sub70: 699 irons 4-PW  KBS tour 90 v Stiff 

50 Deg:Sub70: TAIII Satin

54 deg: :Sub70: TAIII Satin

58 Deg: :Sub70: TAIII Satin

Putter:Sub70: 004 Single Bend Masters Edition

Rangefinder: :CaddyTek: Caddytek V2

 

Check out my MyGolfSpy 2020 Forum Official Tester: Ben Hogan GS53 Driver

 

 

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