Peterpc2828 Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 What do you call an avocado that got ran over by the pope mobile? Holy guacamole ! Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy viking and DawgDaddy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony@CIC Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 What do you call an avocado that got ran over by the pope mobile? Holy guacamole ! Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy Groan!! Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy DawgDaddy 1 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Groan!! Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy That is the type joke my mother loved. lol Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST MaxRogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Wooda Irons - Rogue ST MAX OS 5 - AW Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - ER2 Rangefinder - NX9 Slope Ball - Vice Pro Soft Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Kenny B Posted September 7, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted September 7, 2017 A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios. WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!" BigtazzGolf, STUDque, viking and 7 others 10 Quote “We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ole gray Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios. WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!" ROFLMAO!!! Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy Kenny B and Big moose 1 1 Quote Ping G430 Max Driver 10.5 Degree Titleist TSR1 4, 5, & 6 Hybrids Titleist T350 Irons 7 - W48 Cleveland CBX ZipCore 52 56 & 60 Degree Wedges LAB Mezz Max Broomstick Putter / TPT Shaft (Platinum @ 45/78) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigtazzGolf Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 That was pretty good Kenny BigTazz Chicks dig the LONG ball! Follow me and #TeamLexi #J_Wurz #EthanSterlingPrice #strokerAce during the #CobraConnectChallenge Twitter: @bigtazzGOLF Instagram: bigtazzgolf Facebook: steve.rayburn #PowerToThePlayer #CobraConnectMGS Kenny B 1 Quote Grip n Rip it Chicks dig the LONG ball In my staff bag King F7+ Mitsubishi Tensei CK Pro White 60 - Graphite Tour X-Stiff CBX 13.5 3 Wood Atomic Irons 4-AW (reviewing) CG16 Satin 52* 588 RTX 2.0 56* and 60* Sentio Sierra 101-M Putter Proud tester of the Tommy Armour ATOMIC Irons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.keyman1808 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Guy comes home from golfing and his wife asks how he played. He walks up to her and slaps across the face and say " I'm hitting everything fat" Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy AH1980MN, Reesedw and cksurfdude 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cksurfdude Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Not sure if this has been in this thread yet, but here goes.... --- Guy wakes up early Saturday morning, asks his wife: "Golf or sex, honey?" She says: "Take a sweater." --- Guy gets to the course, meets up with his buddies; one guy is at home (sex? no golf?) so it's a threesome. They get to the first tee and there's a single - and not just any single but a beautiful, stunning, statuesque very hot female golfer. Naturally the three guys all very gallantly ask her to join their group, and then of course very admiringly and approvingly watch her tee off .. but WHACK!!! .. she **sh@nks** it directly into our guy! He falls to the ground, doubled over in pain, his hands between his legs .. moaning and groaning. She drops her club and rushes over, very apologetic, and proceeds to unzip his fly and starts rubbing his balls. "Does that feel any better?", she asks. "Yes!†he replies, â€that feels great, but .. I think you broke my thumb!" --- Golfspy_CG2, Reesedw and viking 3 Quote WITB of an "aspiring" play-ah ... Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A) 5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R) 7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R) 4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3) 5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3) 6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite) Putter...EvnRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grip on both) ...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour. Forum Member tester for the Paradym X driver (2023) Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Not sure if this has been in this thread yet, but here goes.... --- Guy wakes up early Saturday morning, asks his wife: "Golf or sex, honey?" She says: "Take a sweater." --- --- That's similar to the guy that shows up at the golf course. His buddies said we thought you said that you couldn't play today because your wife had made plans for you. He replied, Well she must have changed her mind because she told me to tie her to the bed and do whatever I wanted. Golfspy_CG2, Kenny B, Canucklehead and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfspy_CG2 Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios. WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!" Didn't see that one coming....Loved it!! Will be telling this one tonight, I share a lot of these jokes with my Fiance and she says, "you guys sound like a bunch of old men sitting around the barber shop telling corny jokes" I told her that's not true at all......Some of the guys are actually quite young That's similar to the guy that shows up at the golf course. His buddies said we thought you said that you couldn't play today because your wife had made plans for you. He replied, Well she must have changed her mind because she told me to tie her to the bed and do whatever I wanted. A Wahoo Classic that I never get tired of hearing you tell. DDRyan has no idea what he's in for during our round next week.!! viking, Kenny B, downlowkey and 1 other 4 Quote G430 Max 10K TSiR1 15.0 Aldlia Ascent 60g TSR2 18.0 PX Aldila Ascent 6og TSi1 20 Aldila Ascent Shafts R T350 5-GW SteelFiber I80 SM10 48F/54M and58K S159 48S/52S/56W/60B Select 5.5 Flowback 35" ProV1 Play number 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmikecpa Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 My wife hates this one... A foursome watched, intrigued, as a lone player played up short of the green they were on. As they teed off on the next they noticed him quickly chip on and putt out, before running up to their tee. Sensing their bewilderment, he said, “Sorry, do you mind if I play through – I've just heard that my wife has had a terrible accident and may not make it!†cksurfdude 1 Quote WITB 2024 Qi10 LS 9* HZRDUS RDX Smoke Blue 60g 6.5 M5 15* Evenflow Black 75g 6.5 Sim Ti 22* HZRDUS Red 75g 6.5 Sim2 Rescue 22* Diamana Thump 100x X Forged CB 5 - PW MMT 105 TX Jaws Raw 50*, 54* & 58* TTDG "OG" Spinner Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34.75" Z Star Diamond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 Here's another classic. A sixteen-year-old boy came home with a Porsche, and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"He calmly told them, "I bought it today.""With what money!?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs.""Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for $15.00?" they asked. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. Don't know her name -- they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for $15.00." "Oh my goodness!" moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly tending to the flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his secretary. Then apparently she stole all his money and stranded him there! Well he called me, without a dollar to his name, and asked me to sell his Porsche and send him the money. So that's exactly what I did." poprocksncoke, cksurfdude, Kenny B and 4 others 7 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST MaxRogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Wooda Irons - Rogue ST MAX OS 5 - AW Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - ER2 Rangefinder - NX9 Slope Ball - Vice Pro Soft Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 This is my kind of joke. Subtle but funny. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his small Midwestern home town, and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field. Some years later, he was invited to deliver a significant paper at a conference that was coincidentally being held in his home town. He walked on stage and placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor. As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake through the room, and it reverberated down the hall. Epstein was quite embarrassed, but somehow regained his composure enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the applause that followed, and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his home town again. When he returned decades later to visit his elderly mother, who was ill, he reserved a hotel room under the name of Levy, and arrived under cover of darkness. The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?" Dr. Epstein replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here and received my education here, but then I moved away." "Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk. "Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened, and I've been too ashamed to return since then." The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I've learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident, too." Dr. Epstein replied, "Son, I wish that were the case with me, but I truly doubt it." "Was it a long time ago?" "Yes.... Many years ago." The clerk then asked, "Was it before or after the Epstein Fart?" Kenny B, cksurfdude, poprocksncoke and 4 others 7 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST MaxRogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Wooda Irons - Rogue ST MAX OS 5 - AW Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - ER2 Rangefinder - NX9 Slope Ball - Vice Pro Soft Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headhammer Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 While golfing, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. A very attractive golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay?†“I'm okay, thanks,†I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart. She said, “Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later.†I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure. “That's mighty nice of you,†I answered, “but I don't think my wife would like it.†“Oh, come on now!†she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. I was weak. “Well okay,†I finally agreed. After a couple glasses of Scotch I thanked her and said “I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now.†“Don't be silly!†she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. ….â€Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?†I replied, ………â€Still under the cart, I guess.†viking, ole gray, Reesedw and 5 others 8 Quote Driver: Speed Zone 9* HZRDUS Smoke Yellow Shaft 3 Wood: King Speedzone 13.5* HZRDUS Smoke Black Shaft 2 & 3 Hybrids: Speedzone Recoil 480 ESX Shaft Irons: Speedzone 5-GW Recoil 460 ESX Shafts Wedges: PM Grind 54* & 58* Putter: Dual Force Rossi II Ball: Whatever I find in the woods HCP:18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $9.40 please" The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right…whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt, long legs and who agrees with everything I say…" viking, poprocksncoke, STUDque and 4 others 7 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST MaxRogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Wooda Irons - Rogue ST MAX OS 5 - AW Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - ER2 Rangefinder - NX9 Slope Ball - Vice Pro Soft Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted September 28, 2017 Share Posted September 28, 2017 Unfortunately, a elderly woman lost her husband and couldn't imagine living without him. So think that she wanted to join him, she called her doctor and asked--where exactly is my heart. The doctor replied that it is under your left breast. Well, it seems she ended up in the ER with a gun shot in her leg. viking, DawgDaddy and Kenny B 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony@CIC Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 A wealthy husband and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to the table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that ? "Oh", replies the husband casually, "She's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw" says the wife. "I'm finished with you, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replied her husband, "but remember, if we get divorced it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more new Jaguars in the garage at Christmas and no more yacht club. But, the decision is yours, my dear." Just then, George, one of the husband's male friends, enters the restaurant with a gorgeous blonde babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with George ?" demands the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier", she replies Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy Golfspy_CG2, viking, cksurfdude and 2 others 5 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 An elderly couple were lying in bed one morning on their 60th wedding anniversary. The wife says, you know 60 years ago we would not just be lying in this bed. The husband agreed and to the best of their current abilities they tried to duplicate their wedding night. Like they would have 60 years ago, they didn't bother to get dressed going into the kitchen for some breakfast. Over the breakfast table, the wife says, you know I can feel that my breasts are just as warm for you now as they were 60 years ago. The husband replied--of course they are the left one is in your coffee and the right one is in your oatmeal. tony@CIC, viking, STUDque and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny B Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 Unfortunately, a elderly woman lost her husband and couldn't imagine living without him. So think that she wanted to join him, she called her doctor and asked--where exactly is my heart. The doctor replied that it is under your left breast. Well, it seems she ended up in the ER with a gun shot in her leg. An elderly couple were lying in bed one morning on their 60th wedding anniversary. The wife says, you know 60 years ago we would not just be lying in this bed. The husband agreed and to the best of their current abilities they tried to duplicate their wedding night. Like they would have 60 years ago, they didn't bother to get dressed going into the kitchen for some breakfast. Over the breakfast table, the wife says, you know I can feel that my breasts are just as warm for you now as they were 60 years ago. The husband replied--of course they are the left one is in your coffee and the right one is in your oatmeal. You seem to have this thing about elderly women and sagging breasts. Just sayin' TheWahoo, Golfspy_CG2 and STUDque 3 Quote “We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted September 29, 2017 Share Posted September 29, 2017 You seem to have this thing about elderly women and sagging breasts. Just sayin' I am getting old. Golf balls and breasts, sometimes gravity can make things difficult. Canucklehead, cksurfdude and Kenny B 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cksurfdude Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 A wealthy husband and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to the table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that ? "Oh", replies the husband casually, "She's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw" says the wife. "I'm finished with you, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replied her husband, "but remember, if we get divorced it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more new Jaguars in the garage at Christmas and no more yacht club. But, the decision is yours, my dear." Just then, George, one of the husband's male friends, enters the restaurant with a gorgeous blonde babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with George ?" demands the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier", she replies Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy Good one .. showed it to my wife and she got a good laugh out of it, too! (whew!) Kenny B and ddryan 2 Quote WITB of an "aspiring" play-ah ... Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A) 5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R) 7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R) 4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3) 5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3) 6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite) Putter...EvnRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grip on both) ...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour. Forum Member tester for the Paradym X driver (2023) Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STUDque Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 I've never gotten a hole in one, but I did hit a guy once. That was way more satisfying. Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy ddryan, tony@CIC and AH1980MN 3 Quote In my Pisa, riding on a 3.5+ G410+ EXS 5W King F7 Hy i500 5-GW Equalizer 56/60 Heppler Ketsch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony@CIC Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in all the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?" "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays…………..but I golf on Fridays. Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy Kenny B, Golfspy_CG2, bluesmandan76 and 5 others 8 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawgDaddy Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened. The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up... STUDque, Kenny B, viking and 1 other 3 1 Quote Driver - Rogue ST Max Woods - Rogue ST MaxRogue ST Max 3, 5 & 7 Wooda Irons - Rogue ST MAX OS 5 - AW Wedges - Zipcore RTX 6 50° CBX2 54* & 58* Putter - ER2 Rangefinder - NX9 Slope Ball - Vice Pro Soft Drip Bag - Xtreme Cart 7.0 Bag Heather/Red/White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lou mcconaughey Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 What do the shanks and masturbation have in common? You feel bad when you do it but you know you will do it again. Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWahoo Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 What do Viagra and Disney World have in common? In both cases, one must wait an hour for a three minute ride. STUDque, cksurfdude, Canucklehead and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddryan Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Heard this one at the course today- a few of us almost fell out of our chairs - Wife, fed up by being left alone virtually every weekend to her husband's golf outings decides to take up the game. after secretly practicing for several months, she says one saturday morning, "Gee hon, do you think I could play with you this morning? " after some discussion, he decides sure, why not. The get to the course, and head to the first tee. He tees up his ball, takes a mighty swing, shanks the ball, and it hits his wife in the temple, killing her instantly- Oh my God, he exclaims, and calls 911... The paramedics arrive and look the woman over, and return to the man to ask what happened. He explains that he shanked the tee shot, and it struck her in the temple, and she fell over. The paramedic says "but sir, that does not describe the scene fully- you see we found a golf ball wedged deeply in between the cheeks of her behind - Can you explain that?" He calmly replies "Oh, that was my mulligan..." STUDque, viking, Canucklehead and 1 other 4 Quote What's in the bag? Driver Callaway Mavrik 105 set to 9.5, square, Aldila Rogue White 130 MSI 60G Stiff shaft #3 Wood Callaway FT Tour 13 degree neutral setup, Fuijkara 370 Stiff Shaft Hybrid 18 Degree King Cobra Baffler pro, Baffler Stiff shaft 4-PW Titlest 714 AP2, Standard loft and lie, MGS S Shafts 53, 57 degree loft Hogan Equalizer wedges 1962 Wilson "Sandy Andy" sand wedge with HUGE bounce! Putter MLA Pro Classic Titlist ProV 1, ProV 1x Currently Gaming "Costco Kirkland Signature Tour Performance" balls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny B Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf. At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch. "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts, and the legs ..." "OK." Ten years later at age 40 they play. "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters. "Why?" "Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games." "OK." Ten years later at age 50 they play "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking." "OK." At age 60 they play "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "Wings are half price." "OK" At age 70 they play "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door." "OK." At age 80 they play "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "We've never been there before." tommc23, Golfspy_CG2, cksurfdude and 3 others 6 Quote “We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony@CIC Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 PETE AND LINDA FALL IN LOVE... Pete and Linda met on a singles cruise and Pete fell head over heels for her.... When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Pete was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Pete had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Pete became convinced that Linda was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Pete took Linda to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Pete said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!" Linda paused, then responded, “Pete, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker." Pete said, "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball." Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy STUDque, tommc23, Golfspy_CG2 and 2 others 5 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommc23 Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 PETE AND LINDA FALL IN LOVE... Pete and Linda met on a singles cruise and Pete fell head over heels for her.... When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Pete was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Pete had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Pete became convinced that Linda was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Pete took Linda to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Pete said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!" Linda paused, then responded, “Pete, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker." Pete said, "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball." Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy Thats good Sent from my SM-G950U using MyGolfSpy mobile app Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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