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For those that don't follow USGA rules closely, their are new rules specifically crafted for Seniors.:

Rule 9k.34– If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so, because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age.

Rule 1.a.5– A ball sliced or hooked into the Rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior player should not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6– A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed NOT to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.B.3– There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.

 Rule 4.c.7– If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The Law of Gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

 Rule 5. – Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a mockery of the game.

 Rule 6.a.9– There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds". If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior player deserves an apology, not a penalty.

 Rule 7.G.15– There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior players should not be penalized for any shortcomings of the manufacturers.

 Rule 8.k.9– Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by Purchasing new golf equipment Since this is financially impractical for many senior players, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes and keep multiple copies in your golf bag. Those not following the rules need to be provided a copy. Golf is...above all...a game of integrity.

 

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Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

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1 hour ago, tony@CIC said:

Rule 9k.34– If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so, because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age.

Reminds of the one about the mellow old golfer vs the young eager golfer...

Younger golfer finds his ball just behind a tree, which is directly blocking his path to the hole. He's checking his lie, taking practice swings to see if he can clear the tree, he's considering all his club options, ...

Older golfer comes over: "When I was your age I used to just take a wedge and lob it over the tree and onto the green."

Not to be outdone, of course, eager young golfer grabs a wedge and takes a mighty swing. Ball takes off, smacks the tree, bounces back, lands at his feet.

Older golfer looks at him and says: "When I was your age, the tree was only this high (holding his hand palm-down across his chest to indicate the height)" 🤪

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WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
..Callaway Epic Speed 4W and Epic Max 7W (both Project X Cypher)
..Callaway Big Bertha 4H and 5H (both Recoil ZTR)
..PXG 0211 6i-GW (Mitsubishi MMT) 
..Cleveland CBX-2 54 and CBX 60 (both Rotex graphite)
...Edel EAS 4.0 (stock shaft, zero offset hosel, round grip)
..all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart.

Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

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Two buddies meet up at the train station for a ride to their favorite football teams home game. They walk up to the ticket counter and the lady behind the desk turns who around to greet them is a real looker. Absolutely gorgeous, perfectly shaped, and a prime candidate for future lower back problems.

Buddy #1 is completely stunned by her and blurts out "2 Pickets to Titsburgh, please". The young lady blushes and smiles while buddy #1 is devising a plan for escape, or a quick death from the embarrassment. Always the perfect friend, buddy #2 gets shoulder to shoulder with him and says-

B2- Dont feel bad, I really messed up this morning, too.

B1- How could you possibly have done worse than what I just did?

B2- I was having breakfast with the wife and I meant to say "please pass the salt", but what came out was "you f**king c*nt, you ruined my life."

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Shanks 2021 WITB

O.B. Finder- Cally Epic Max LS Autoflex 505X

3W- Sim2 Max Tensei Blue 7S

5W- Epic Max MMT 7S 

4H- Epic Speed Super Hybrid

5-AW- Apex 21 $-Taper 120S Blackout

SW/LW- Vokey SM8 54*, Ping Glide Forged 56*

Flat One- Scotty Phantom X6 Tour Stability Shaft

Pro V1X

Vessel Players III 

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5 hours ago, tony@CIC said:

Rule 3.B.3– There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.

This is the one that gave me the biggest chuckle.

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I'm decidedly brand agnostic -- but a bit less so with my recent change from a PING driver

:titelist-small: - TSi2 10.5 Driver - Tensei AV Raw Blue 55 R

:titelist-small: - TS2 4W - Graphite Design Tour AD DI 6 RS TS2 7W - Alta CB 65 R

:cobra-small:- Baffler 23* - Aldila NV-HL 65 R

th.jpg.d6e2abdaeb04f007fd259c979f389de6.jpg - Original Series 0211 - 5-PW - MMT 80 S

:cleveland-small: - CBX2 50 / 54 / 58 - Rotex

image.png.49fcc172a1ed0010d930fbe1c5dc8b79.png - Directed Force 2.1 (Nickel) - KBS Tour - Press No. II 3*

:Snell:- MTB  Black

datrek-brand_1456761019__86876.original.jpg.7c24f9ae71c7730ce29a828226731487.jpg - DG Lite II cart bag attached via Top-Lok to image.png.77fe07cbfea697deca64bd4a4263a151.png - Quad XL and Tracked by :ShotScope: - V3

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For those that don't follow USGA rules closely, their are new rules specifically crafted for Seniors.:
Rule 9k.34– If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so, because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age.
Rule 1.a.5– A ball sliced or hooked into the Rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior player should not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6– A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed NOT to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.B.3– There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, thereby making it a stolen ball. The senior player is not to compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty.
 Rule 4.c.7– If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The Law of Gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
 Rule 5. – Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a mockery of the game.
 Rule 6.a.9– There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds". If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior player deserves an apology, not a penalty.
 Rule 7.G.15– There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior players should not be penalized for any shortcomings of the manufacturers.
 Rule 8.k.9– Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by Purchasing new golf equipment Since this is financially impractical for many senior players, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes and keep multiple copies in your golf bag. Those not following the rules need to be provided a copy. Golf is...above all...a game of integrity.
 

The Bacon Boyz have these and many more[emoji106]


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Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; Titleist TSi2, Kuro Kage 50 gr R2

5 Wood; Cally Steelhead 

5 Hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous Vista Pro R2

Irons; Ping G710 6-GW, Recoil 460 R2

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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  • 3 weeks later...

 

 A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year, which means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.  Kind of makes you proud. I almost feel like a hybrid.

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack.  "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.  The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.  His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting  "

“Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through.”


A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?" Mickelson replied, “The holes are numbered."


A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3, the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"

The young man says, "An 8-iron, father, how about you?"

The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down.”


Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes," says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
“I don't know -- put me down for a five."

 

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced
back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.  As he approached the gates
of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: “Got here in two, didn't I?”

The bride was escorted down the aisle, and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She asked: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?”

 

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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Image1612736314.775708.jpg


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

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Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; Titleist TSi2, Kuro Kage 50 gr R2

5 Wood; Cally Steelhead 

5 Hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous Vista Pro R2

Irons; Ping G710 6-GW, Recoil 460 R2

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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Image1613098364.719113.jpg


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

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Rick

 

 

Left Hand, 

Driver; Titleist TSi2, Kuro Kage 50 gr R2

5 Wood; Cally Steelhead 

5 Hybrid; Cally Steelhead, Hazardous Vista Pro R2

Irons; Ping G710 6-GW, Recoil 460 R2

Putter; Waaay too many to list

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he Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions, and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forest’s golf courses. 

They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly.  

They also advise golfers to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. 

They say that it’s also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity on the courses. They recommend that golfers be educated so that they can recognize the difference between Black bear and Grizzly bear droppings.  

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain remains of nuts, berries and possibly squirrel, rabbit or gopher fur.  

Grizzly bear droppings have small bells, golf-gloves, sunglasses and other similar golf items in them and they usually smell like pepper spray. 

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.

“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied.  

It was obvious that he was in agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.

The female golfer/therapist urged him to let him help him, so at her persistence, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to his side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage to his privates for several long moments and then asked, “How does that feel”?

He replied, “That feels great, but my thumb still hurts like Hell!” 

One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.  

The brush is quite thick, but he searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a 7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. 

John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: “Hey Don, come here. I’ve got some real trouble down here.”
 

Don comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: “What’s the matter, John? Is everything okay?” 

John shouts back in a nervous voice, “Throw me my 8-iron! Apparently you can’t get out of here with a seven. 

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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A little girl was at her first golf lesson when she asked an interesting question… 

Q: “Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T?” She asked her instructor. 

A: “P-U-T-T is correct,” the instructor replied.  

“P-U-T means to place a thing where you want it. “P-U-T-T means merely a futile attempt to do the same thing.” 

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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A man got on a bus, with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “Its golf balls.”

The blond looked at him compassionately and said, “Oh you poor thing. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow?” 

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar but he didn’t have a lighter. So, he asked his friend if he had one.  

“I sure do,” he replied, and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a big 12-inch BIC lighter.

“WOW!” said his friend, “Where did you get that monster?”

“I got it from my genie.”  

“You have a genie?” the first guy asked.

“Yep, he’s right here in my golf bag.” He opens his golf bag and out pops a real genie.  

The friend says, “I’m a good friend of your master, will you grant me a wish?”

“Yes, I will,” the genie replies. 

So the friend asks the genie for, “a million bucks.” 

Done! The genie replied, hops back into the golf bag and leaves the golfers standing there waiting for the “million bucks.”

Suddenly the sky begins to darken and a million ducks envelop the golfers. 

“Hey,” yells to disappointed golfer. “I asked you genie for million bucks, not a million ducks.” 

“Sorry,’ the other golfer replied, “He’s hard of hearing, and besides, do you really think that I’d ask a genie for a 12-inch BIC?” 

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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Hear the one about the bad tempered golfer who bought a new set of TaylorMade R7 clubs. After playing with them for a couple of rounds he returned to his pro shop and told the pro, “These were the best clubs I have ever played with. In fact, I can throw these clubs 40-yards further than my old ones!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fred had tried to be particularly careful about his language as he played golf with his preacher. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. The preacher felt obliged to respond. “I have observed,” said he in a calm voice, “that the best golfers do not use foul language.” “I guess not,” said Fred, “what the hell do they have to ****** about?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf together. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20-foot putt; the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, “That dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?” “Somersaults,” says the man. “Somersaults?” says the friend, “That’s incredible. How many does he do?” “Well,” says the man. “That depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.”

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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A hacker spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hacker, he, of course, plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I’ve played so lousy all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.” The caddy looks back at him and says, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Caddy, why do you keep looking at your watch?” asked the curious golfer.” It’s not a watch, sir. It’s a compass”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker, “Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the men’s tee, please!” Mike was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement, “Would the man on the women’s tee kindly back up the men’s tee!” Mike had had enough. He shouted, “Would the horse’s ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!”

Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough,” replied his friend. “Then I met a lady who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I’d give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. I called out to the lady, ‘Ma’am, does this look like yours?’ And the ****** hit me in the neck with her driver!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young golfer was playing in his first PGA Tour event. After his practice round he noticed a beautiful young lady by the clubhouse. He went up to her, began talking, and convinced her to come back to his hotel room for the night. All through the night they made wild love together. In the morning, the woman woke up and arose from bed. The man said, “Please don’t go. I love you and I want you to stay with me.” The woman replied, “You don’t understand…I’m a hooker.” The man said, “That’s no problem, you probably just have too strong a grip.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

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Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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fellow caddy and myself recently helped two aged Germans around our course. Failing yet again to get the ball in the air the worst golfer of the pair exclaimed, “I suppose you have never seen any player worse than me?” My friend the caddy replied, “There are plenty worse than you sir but they all quit playing years ago.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An avid golfer goes to see a fortuneteller to enquire if there are any golf courses in heaven. “I have good news and bad news,” she tells the golfer. “What’s the good news?” asks the golfer “The good news sir is that the courses in heaven are spectacular, without doubt better than anything you have ever seen on earth.” “What’s the bad news then?” he asks “You have a tee time at 8:30 tomorrow morning.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple was playing a play off hole in the annual club championship, and it’s down to a very short putt that the wife has to make for the win. She takes her stance, and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses and they lose the match. On the way home in the car the husband is fuming, “I can’t believe you missed that putt, it was a damn tap in! In fact, it was no longer than my pecker.” The wife looked over at her husband and smiled and said, “Yes dear, but it was much harder!”

Jazz woods (Driver & Hybrids), TNT Silver Eagle Irons, PW & SW, Slotline Inertia putter. TopFlite Gammer.

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