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Whats your best joke?


DarthGolfer

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I told my friend Chad this on the first tee box Sunday. 
 

I said, ‘‘I came across the Devil this last week and asked ‘What will it cost me to become the best golfer in the world?’ He said, ‘It will cost you your soul.’ I said, ‘That’s a little steep. How good can you make me for a dollar?’ He said, ‘Good enough to beat Chad.’ So how about $2 Two Downs?”

  • Haha 4

 

Driver:      :ping-small:  G425MAX 10.5° -1° Flat on Project X HZRDUS Yellow Handcrafted 65g

Fairway:   :ping-small:  G410 3 wood LST & 5  Wood Flat on :ping-small: Alta CB 65R

                     :ping-small:  G425MAX  7 & 9  Flat on :ping-small: Alta CB 65R

Hybrid:     :ping-small:  G425MAX  6 H Flat on :ping-small: Alta CB 65R

Irons:     :ping-small:  i 500 7-P on True Temper Dynamic Gold

Wedges: :vokey-small: SM8 50°, 54° & 60° on True Temper Dynamic Gold Wedge

Putter:    :cameron-small: Studio Style Newport 1.5

Balls:      :titelist-small: Pro V1X :taylormade-small: TP5 

Shoes:     :footjoy-small:  

Range Finder: :918457628_PrecisionPro: Precision Pro  NX7 Pro

All grips are BestGrips Micro-Perforated

 

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

  • Haha 9

Driver -  :callaway-small:  Mavrik with Reg. Flex UST Mamiya Helium Black 4 Graphite Shaft
Woods - :callaway-small:   Mavrik 3 Wood & Epic Flash  Heavenwood
Hybrid - :callaway-small:   Epic Flash 4H
Irons - :callaway-small:   Rogue X 5 - AW
Wedges -  :cleveland-small:  CBX2 54* & 58*
Putter -   :EVNROLL: ER2
Rangefinder - Bushnell Pro XE
Ball -  :taylormade-small: TP5-X  PIC

Bag -  2020 Bag Boy Chiller Cart Bag

 

 

 

 

 

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58 minutes ago, CarlH said:

'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

ROTFLMAO!

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
..Callaway Epic Speed 4W and Epic Max 7W (both Project X Cypher)
..Callaway Big Bertha 4H and 5H (both Recoil ZTR)
..PXG 0211 6i-GW (Mitsubishi MMT) 
..Cleveland CBX-2 54 and CBX 60 (both Rotex graphite)
..MLA Tour XDream (33", +2up, 400g, P2 Reflex Tour)
.. .. see MLA Offical Forum Member Reviews (..on the bench: Evnroll ER5)
..all in a Datrek bag on a Bag Boy Quad XL push an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart.

Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

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A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf together. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20-foot putt; the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, “That dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?” “Somersaults,” says the man. “Somersaults?” says the friend, “That’s incredible. How many does he do?” “Well,” says the man. “That depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.”

  • Haha 5

Driver -  :callaway-small:  Mavrik with Reg. Flex UST Mamiya Helium Black 4 Graphite Shaft
Woods - :callaway-small:   Mavrik 3 Wood & Epic Flash  Heavenwood
Hybrid - :callaway-small:   Epic Flash 4H
Irons - :callaway-small:   Rogue X 5 - AW
Wedges -  :cleveland-small:  CBX2 54* & 58*
Putter -   :EVNROLL: ER2
Rangefinder - Bushnell Pro XE
Ball -  :taylormade-small: TP5-X  PIC

Bag -  2020 Bag Boy Chiller Cart Bag

 

 

 

 

 

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A thought for the day:

Exercise makes your body look better naked..................................so does tequila 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

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Father O’Malley was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter “Hoover!” under his breath.


On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time.


On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Father O’Malley’s drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! “Praise be to God!” He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. “HOOVER!!!!”


By this time, his opponent couldn’t withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked why the priest said “Hoover.”
The Father replied, “It’s the biggest… dam I know.”

  • Haha 7

Driver -  :callaway-small:  Mavrik with Reg. Flex UST Mamiya Helium Black 4 Graphite Shaft
Woods - :callaway-small:   Mavrik 3 Wood & Epic Flash  Heavenwood
Hybrid - :callaway-small:   Epic Flash 4H
Irons - :callaway-small:   Rogue X 5 - AW
Wedges -  :cleveland-small:  CBX2 54* & 58*
Putter -   :EVNROLL: ER2
Rangefinder - Bushnell Pro XE
Ball -  :taylormade-small: TP5-X  PIC

Bag -  2020 Bag Boy Chiller Cart Bag

 

 

 

 

 

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8 hours ago, DawgDaddy said:

Father O’Malley was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter “Hoover!” under his breath.


On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time.


On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Father O’Malley’s drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! “Praise be to God!” He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. “HOOVER!!!!”


By this time, his opponent couldn’t withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked why the priest said “Hoover.”
The Father replied, “It’s the biggest… dam I know.”

 

Hey buddy you throw out some funny stuff!   We had our greens punched this week at LC so once they are rolling smooth again, let's tee up soon!

Callaway  Epic Flash 10.5 Driver
Callaway MAVRIK MAX 3 - wood
Callaway Big Bertha 2019  4 & 5 hybrid 
Callaway Mavrik Max 6 hybrid
Tommy Armour 845 MAX 7 - GW Irons
Cleveland CBX 2 54 Degree SW
Cleveland CBX Full-Face Wedge 58 degree
Odyssey 
 ODYSSEY ARM-LOCK 2-BALL TEN 

 

 

 



 

 

 

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4 hours ago, ole gray said:

 

Hey buddy you throw out some funny stuff!   We had our greens punched this week at LC so once they are rolling smooth again, let's tee up soon!

Sounds good buddy, I was actually thinking about getting in touch about Monday but I guess we will wait a couple of weeks huh? 

  • Like 1

Driver -  :callaway-small:  Mavrik with Reg. Flex UST Mamiya Helium Black 4 Graphite Shaft
Woods - :callaway-small:   Mavrik 3 Wood & Epic Flash  Heavenwood
Hybrid - :callaway-small:   Epic Flash 4H
Irons - :callaway-small:   Rogue X 5 - AW
Wedges -  :cleveland-small:  CBX2 54* & 58*
Putter -   :EVNROLL: ER2
Rangefinder - Bushnell Pro XE
Ball -  :taylormade-small: TP5-X  PIC

Bag -  2020 Bag Boy Chiller Cart Bag

 

 

 

 

 

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19 hours ago, DawgDaddy said:

Sounds good buddy, I was actually thinking about getting in touch about Monday but I guess we will wait a couple of weeks huh? 

Yea I played yesterday and it was not good.  They will have it all smoothed out and looking good in a couple of weeks.

  • Like 1

Callaway  Epic Flash 10.5 Driver
Callaway MAVRIK MAX 3 - wood
Callaway Big Bertha 2019  4 & 5 hybrid 
Callaway Mavrik Max 6 hybrid
Tommy Armour 845 MAX 7 - GW Irons
Cleveland CBX 2 54 Degree SW
Cleveland CBX Full-Face Wedge 58 degree
Odyssey 
 ODYSSEY ARM-LOCK 2-BALL TEN 

 

 

 



 

 

 

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No offense meant to the older players here.........................  

820.jpg

  • Like 7

Driver & Fairway: Titleist TS3 9.5 & 15 - Project X Hzrdus Smoke Black 6.0

Hybrid: Titleist 818H2 - Tensei Blue 70S

Irons: Titleist T100 4 - P Project X 5.0

Wedges: Vokey SM7 50, 54, and 60

Putter: Cameron Phanthom 5.5

Ball: Pro V1

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A man is driving across the desert when his car breaks down. He starts walking and eventually comes to a lone house.  He knocks on the door and an older gentleman answers.  The older gentleman introduces himself and says that he is a retired pastor, and gives the driver some food and water, The driver then asks if there's a way to get to town because he has an important appointment.  The pastor says that his wife has taken the pickup truck into town, but he has a horse that knows the way into town - if the man can ride.  The man says he's ridden horses a few times and he is willing to try.  

As the man gets on the horse, the pastor says "There's a couple of things you need to know about this horse. To get the horse to go, you have to say 'hallelujah' and to get the horse to stop, you have to say 'amen'." So the man says, "hallelujah" and the horse starts walking.  

After a mile or so, the man gets an idea and says, "hallelujah, hallelujah" and the horse starts trotting.  Excitedly, he yells "HALLELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!" and the horse starts running. The man grins as the horse races across the desert. But then he sees that the horse is running at top speed toward the top of a huge cliff. He yells "Whoa!" but the horse keeps running.  He screams "WHOA! WHOA!" but the horse keeps running.  Finally, he remembers and yells "AMEN!" at the top of his lungs.  The horse skids to a stop inches from the edge of the cliff.  His heart racing, he wipes his brow, looks to the heavens and shouts "Hallelujah!"

  • Like 1
  • Haha 8

The worst words in golf - "Cart path only"

:cobra-small: King F9 Speedback Hzrdus Smoke Yellow

Wishon EQ1-NX 4 Wood & 7 Wood Single Length

Wishon EQ1-NX 5 Hybrid Single Length

Wishon EQ1-NX SW - 6 iron Single Length

Wishon Micro-Groove HM Lob Wedge

Kirkland KS1 Putter

Srixon Z-Star XV Balls

:Arccos:

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not really a joke, but funny none-the-less...

green-car.png.8d6d0e6c83b22144b6e914f842570545.png

  • Love 1
  • Haha 8

We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.”

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On 6/30/2021 at 8:24 PM, Kenny B said:

Not really a joke, but funny none-the-less...

green-car.png.8d6d0e6c83b22144b6e914f842570545.png

Is it wrong I park there with my white Hellcat?  It does have an eco mode to be fair to me. 

  • Haha 8

In the Bag for 2021

:callaway-small: Epic Max LS 10.5* AD TP 6x

:callaway-small: Rogue SZ 15* AD TP 7x

:callaway-small: Rogue SZ 18* AD MT 7x

:callaway-small: X Forged UT 24* MMT 105TX

:callaway-small: Apex Pro 5 - AW Steelfiber 115x

:callaway-small: PM Grind 2.0 54* $ 58* KBS $ Taper 120 Black

:ping-small: B90

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

211911138_10159390079748794_107779410253

  • Haha 7

Driver -  :callaway-small:  Mavrik with Reg. Flex UST Mamiya Helium Black 4 Graphite Shaft
Woods - :callaway-small:   Mavrik 3 Wood & Epic Flash  Heavenwood
Hybrid - :callaway-small:   Epic Flash 4H
Irons - :callaway-small:   Rogue X 5 - AW
Wedges -  :cleveland-small:  CBX2 54* & 58*
Putter -   :EVNROLL: ER2
Rangefinder - Bushnell Pro XE
Ball -  :taylormade-small: TP5-X  PIC

Bag -  2020 Bag Boy Chiller Cart Bag

 

 

 

 

 

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image.png.6cc0ad84b731898e9ecf3c6ede88ebf5.png

  • Like 1
  • Haha 5

We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.”

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110167055_10216871741977164_799604936822

  • Haha 8

Driver -  :callaway-small:  Mavrik with Reg. Flex UST Mamiya Helium Black 4 Graphite Shaft
Woods - :callaway-small:   Mavrik 3 Wood & Epic Flash  Heavenwood
Hybrid - :callaway-small:   Epic Flash 4H
Irons - :callaway-small:   Rogue X 5 - AW
Wedges -  :cleveland-small:  CBX2 54* & 58*
Putter -   :EVNROLL: ER2
Rangefinder - Bushnell Pro XE
Ball -  :taylormade-small: TP5-X  PIC

Bag -  2020 Bag Boy Chiller Cart Bag

 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

231992996_303199718224513_5904315204026230424_n.jpg

  • Haha 9

Driver: :ping-small: G400 Max 9 degree set to +1, Aldila Extreme Green 55 gram R shaft 

Fairway: :taylormade-small: M4 3W (16.5*) 5W (21*) 7W (24*) -- stock R shafts.

Irons: :callaway-small: Apex CF19 6-9, PW, AW KBSTour Graphite  70g shafts R

Wedges:  :cleveland-small: CBX2 52,56, 60 degree wedges

Putter: :odyssey-small: Stroke Lab 7S

Ball: :Snell: MTB-X

My Photography can be seen at Smugmug

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