Range Trolls

[palvord]

Advice givers are the absolute best. Especially when their game doesn't match their mouth. I really enjoy using the earbuds with nothing playing routine to try and avoid unwanted advice.

 

I have only really experienced the range troll once and it was when I was much younger and didn't know how to walk away or tell someone to politely SSHH. Made me never return to that range.

 

The other place that unwanted advice givers seem to gather is the gym. My goodness, the number of “trainers” seems to be at an all time high lately.

 

 

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[Golfspy_CG2]

Welp. It finally happened to me today. I honestly never thought I'd experience this.... but I was on the receiving end of unsolicited advice.

 

Ended up in another part of town doing something for my wife and hit the range at a semi-private club. Man I was in a groove. I was by myself, had a little speaker playing music only I could hear, and was striping my shots with confidence when, from the putting green 40 yards away........

 

"Hey buddy! Take this for what it's worth (absolutely nothing at all) but you're moving your head a lot. You should try to stop doing that"

 

In my head, I was going full American History X on him but outwardly I was polite and thanked him for his (un)helpful comment. FROM 40 YARDS AWAY.

 

Now I'm rattled.... How long has he been watching me? Is he still watching me? Did he see how well I was hitting it? Omg is he watching me now? Who is this guy anyway? He's definitely not the club pro. Jesus he's still watching me. Do I work extra hard on his comment to make him feel good or just throw a middle finger and do as I please? OK he's done watching. Swing. Shank. #%$&@!!!!!!!! 🤬🤬🤬

 

The next 10 swings were poor at best. I couldn't fully come back to my happy place until I realized he had left the putting green.

 

 

 

 

I mean. I understand that it takes a lot to put yourself out there and say something to a complete stranger. Especially offering advice. And he's not wrong that a stable head is a good thing.

 

But wtf bro.

Oh Man! From 40 yards away!!

 

Which course was this?

 

 

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[StrokerAce]

...well, I know it's difficult, but one could always try to flip it around and use it as a "mental distraction" to overcome.  Like if you're on a course and someone in your group is chirping or you hit a bad shot and another group on the other fairway starts railing on you.  How would you overcome that so it doesn't affect your swing, your shot, your execution?

 

Can you imagine what it must be like to be a tour player with hundreds of "range rats" around you at all times yelling god knows what?  Hard to blame JT for kicking a guy out who was rooting for him to hit in the bunker.

 

It certainly is a mental game...and perhaps there's an opportunity here to turn a negative into a positive?

[russtopherb]

I'm firmly in the earbuds camp, and when I'm offered advice I simply say “thanks but I'm working on some stuff with my instructor. Just trying to stick with that, thanks”.

 

The one time a guy wouldn't shut up I asked him to demonstrate what he wanted me to do. He did so and hit a slice so bad it cleared the netting. I said “no I don't think I'll do that” and laughed so hard he stomped away.

 

 

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[Shankster]

For his help, I assume you mean that he should go and enjoy a self induced sexual experience. Perhaps, a "Yankee" which is the same thing as a Quicky only you do it alone.

Oh no I meant “Shhh you!” 🤫

 

[Golfspy_CG2]

It really amazes me that total strangers would give unsolicited advice to someone on a range.   I would never think of doing that, no matter how bad someone was struggling.    I think once several years ago,  I had somone in the bay next to me, say something about my grip, I just kinda shrugged and said OK.   

[Golfspy_CG2]

.

I have to laugh reading some of these. ...

 

1) Because I've been guilty of playing Ranger Rick from time to time (range troll seems kinda rough), but try to avoid doing so unless someone's an obvious newb that hasn't hit a decent shot during their session.

 

2) But while I do try and not do it, I really had to bite my tongue last week when a guy went full Tin Cup Shanks on the range and hit one between my legs from 5 stalls up-range. And instead of moving forward so his bag would take all the damage, moving back another three feet from the ropes and continued to skank shots wildly to the right of the range, including one that clanged off the rack holding his clubs. ... Not having brought my helmet or bullet proof vest, I walked to the back of the range and took a seat on the bench until he was done.

There is only one appropriate response to that...and it is.  "Who hit that shot"   or "maybe you should hit your putter, you can't shank that"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5CkmKGQDb0

[PING Apologist #9]

"My God! My swing feels like an unfolded lawn chair!"

 

Yes...yes mine does...dammit!

 

Indeed a classic!

[PMookie]

I've been lucky to not run into many of these, thank goodness. I'm a regular at two ranges and I've seen most folks that show-up, so I don't have any issues.

 

 

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[Shankster]

Just drop a ball on the deck, grab the driver and smash one. No one will say a dang thing to you anymore.

 

The way some of the guys on the league at this place talk makes me wonder.

 

The new driver has a command presence noise it makes too, an almost deafening sound, hard not to notice.

 

All jokes aside here. I've ran into a few guys that I could have fixed with a minor set up issue and had them playing good. I really want to say something, but I figured if they wanted my help they'd ask. Like the guy I asked you all about last year on the chipping green with is super weak left hand and his extra strong right hand.

[Har in the Hat]

Can i give you some advice?
No you can't.
Don't you know it's rude to offer unsolicited advice.
Also, I'm taking lessons and I know what to work on.
You've seen me play for 9 holes only so what makes you think you know what my fault is? What you saw was an abnormal swing mechanic that reared it's ugly head while you happened to be looking at me. And by the way,I am concentrating on correcting a fault and during this concentration while I'm swinging the club,there is bound to be some other gremlin that crawls in and screws everything up.
So don't offer me unsolicited advice.

Guy behind me comes up to me on the 9th tee and asks this question?
"No thanks" is what i simply said.
I did not say the above,but I'm thinking it. Am I wrong in this thought?

How would you have handled this?

[THEZIPR23]

No and get off my range mat!!

[null]

I would have simply said "I'm good, thank you" and then let it go.  No need to make more out of it than it is.

[GB13]

Just say no thanks and move on.

Only offer advice if they ask or say: you should talk to a pro.

[Har in the Hat]

I would have simply said "I'm good, thank you" and then let it go.  No need to make more out of it than it is.

that's all i did. but i was thinking what i wrote

[palvord]

No, thank you. 

 

Perfectly reasonable response to that question.  Good job not unloading a piece of your mind on that person.

[Har in the Hat]

I went to hit some balls at the muni near my work this morning. I took 4 clubs with me in the mini bag. I was working on impact trying to get the proper shaft lean on my wedges. I lined up 5 balls and started on the line. It was a 9 o'clock swing on my Aw so I'm looking at 85-90 yards carry.

I was at the far end of the range away from the crowd. I got 2 jumbo buckets because I'm working on muscle memory and repetition I know I'll be hitting 'em fast.

There's an older guy who came and settled next to mine with a small bucket, no big deal. We had our pleasant greeting and I was back to my work. About 10 mins into it he stopped and just watch me. I was doing really well at this point my balls flew Med trajectory just like I wanted and it landed right over the 75 marker one on top of another.

Then he said, may I make a suggestion? I looked up. He then followed by, you should take full swing and hit it harder. Your head should move back a little bit on the back swing and weaken the grip. Hmmm! I politely said I'm working on something very specific thanks for the suggestion. He took it as an invitation to come over and proceeded to try to fix my grip. I said my grip is fine and please I just wanna to be left alone.

He went back to the stall and mumbled something, every now and then he'd stopped and look at me and said you should weaken your grip. I saw that by this time he had only a few balls left to hit so I just waited out. Soon he was done and gone.

But wait there's more, the saga continued.

The next guy showed up with his buddy sharing a stall, he apparently teaching his newbie buddy. They were kinda loud but I blocked it out. Soon the guy turned to me and said you should have wider stance and wider swing, the shaft should point at my chin at address, take the club more inside and finish high.

What?, I said I'm working on something specific, thanks. I could here him telling his friend about how I could never be a good golfer because of the flaw I have in my swing. I turn and ask what do you shoot, how is your short game? He said he's a good player with a plus 10 handicap and his short game is excellent.

I pulled out my laser and point at the 100 marker, I said 105. Hit it. He topped the first, skilled the second, pulled the third. I put 2 shots next to the pin and said thank you. We didn't speak again. WTF.

Good for you.

[NiftyNiblick]

The Whirlaway was a little like that years ago, but not anymore.

 

Nobody talks to strangers there. 

 

It seems, in fact, that they avert their eyes.

 

Some crazy stuff went down at the Whirlaway back in the day.

[Mr. 82]

I'm gonna drive this thread in a slightly different direction, just to have some fun with it (well, you can be the judge of this I suppose).

 

In my Tuesday night league, we all show up around 4:45 and head to the range to warm up before our 5:30 pm shotgun start. I'll spend half of that time shooting the breeze with anyone and everyone on the range, and on the putting green mostly because, well, I know all 30-40 guys that are warming up. A lot of it is the usual "hey, how's it going this week," sort of small talk, etc.

 

Now I will say that this particular range is at one of the nicer private clubs here in town, and the driving range is just to the left of the first hole, and runs parallel to it, and is separated from the first hole by a large row of pine trees and live oaks. There are enough trees in that area to keep wayward shots from getting from the range to the first fairway, and vice versa. But what happens a lot of times is that the guys on the right side of the range, which is closer to the tree line of the first hole, will often times slice balls into the trees, and we seldom go through a warm up on any particular week without someone making solid contact with a pine tree. And the sound travels loud enough for all to hear. Now, because I know everyone, and we are all good friends, most everyone gives as good as they get, at least as far as trash talk goes, so this definitely doesn't count as advice, but more along the lines of good spirited banter and trash talk. And honestly, I don't even know that you can call it trash talk, because no one in this group is even mildly concerned with winning their club championship, or sniffing any sort of serious tournament victory. We're all out here to relive stress and enjoy an evening away from the wives and the real world, where we can decompress and have a few laughs on a Tuesday evening. But I'll be striping shots down range when I hear someone hit a tree with a shank or whatever and I'll lob a comment to them along the lines of, "Hey Mike, is that you trying to take out the trees? Aren't you supposed to wait until the 6th hole to see how those trees affect your tee shot?"

 

And half the time I get a reply along the lines of, "yeah, well, I'm starting early today." or something like that. But to a man, every guy in my group would just laugh at those type of comments. Heck, we'll be on the putting green and I'll see someone drop 3 or 4 straight putts and say to him, "Geez Dan, you're wasting all of your putts. Now you won't make a single one out on the course." And again, the reply is always something like, "Yeah, I need to quit now and save the rest."

 

Just light hearted simple banter amongst friends. I also receive as good as I dish out as well. I'll be plugging away with my warm up, and if you see me hit enough shots you'll discover that I like to dig trenches with my divots. Some of the guys will come over and say something like, "Geez Phil, do you want me to go get the backhoe to help you out?" I just laugh and reply, "Nah, I'm pacing myself."

 

And beyond the simple one-liners that may or may not even be funny, I'll finish warming up and then walk up and down the range and just say hi to a number of the guys and just comment on the good shots and when they hit one right at a target nicely. Just some simply encouragement for their games. But again, these are all friends and we know each other, and honestly I see everyone's unique swings and crazy motions and wouldn't even begin to try and offer them any advice. I figure it would take a lot more than what I would have a clue to help them with anyway. I'm really there to have fun, and to enjoy the company of friends. We aren't out there to set the world on fire on the golf course. That's why we play a scramble. So that if you are having a bad day on the course, you'll have three other guys with you to bail you out. I remember one day when I was really off. I mean, I didn't hit one fairway, or one green. But one of the guys in my group was lighting it up and hitting every fairway and every green. By the 7th or 8th hole of our 9 hole scramble I just said to him, "is your back hurting yet from carrying us all day?"

 

Beyond those Tuesday evening experiences, I've never ever had anyone come up to me and offer me unsolicited advice, especially from a stranger. And I would never say anything beyond generic pleasantries to another stranger on the range. And I don't recall ever being asked for advice either, so as in almost any other area of life, unless someone asks me for advice, I doubt I'll offer it.

 

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[robbybayntun]

New reality tv show.... Range Confessions!

 

 

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[Mr. 82]

New reality tv show.... Range Confessions!

 

Now I have visions of David Feherty walking up and down a range, talking to various individuals, and pulling one aside who was giving advice and obviously not the greatest golfer and asking him something along the lines of, "Well Mike, I see you interacting with Bud over there.  How do the two of you know each other, and why did you feel the need to act like a gynormous boob?"

[Charli]

Awesome story and The range is the same with a gym. If you don't ask for advice it's probably not warranted

[Sluggo42]

I had a weird one a few weeks ago.

In my stall just mindlessly running up and down my bag, and some youngster (prob 25-30) sets up right behind me.

without a word he starts matching me shot for shot, for like 30 balls. But just a little crisper and longer. He was pretty good. Finally I stop and turn to look at him.

He says "nice swing sir"

 

Sir?.... I may be 62, but does that make me a Sir?

thats what I used to call old people before I became one.

 

So now Im confused because he says nice swing, but then calls me sir...

 

I hate getting old...

[Mr. 82]

I had a weird one a few weeks ago.

In my stall just mindlessly running up and down my bag, and some youngster (prob 25-30) sets up right behind me.

without a word he starts matching me shot for shot, for like 30 balls. But just a little crisper and longer. He was pretty good. Finally I stop and turn to look at him.

He says "nice swing sir"

 

Sir?.... I may be 62, but does that make me a Sir?

thats what I used to call old people before I became one.

 

So now Im confused because he says nice swing, but then calls me sir...

 

I hate getting old...

I've had people calling me "sir" since around the time I turned 40.  So yes, 62 is well beyond the accepted entry date for being labeled a "sir", sir.  

[bens197]

I've had people calling me "sir" since around the time I turned 40. So yes, 62 is well beyond the accepted entry date for being labeled a "sir", sir.

Sounds like a gentleman to me.

 

 

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[StrokerAce]

I had a weird one a few weeks ago.

In my stall just mindlessly running up and down my bag, and some youngster (prob 25-30) sets up right behind me.

without a word he starts matching me shot for shot, for like 30 balls. But just a little crisper and longer. He was pretty good. Finally I stop and turn to look at him.

He says "nice swing sir"

 

Sir?.... I may be 62, but does that make me a Sir?

thats what I used to call old people before I became one.

 

So now Im confused because he says nice swing, but then calls me sir...

 

I hate getting old...

 

I work at a university.... as soon as I started to get some (any) gray in my hair the "sir" started.... and I was right around 40.  hit me right in the solar plexus. 

[Rickp]

I had a weird one a few weeks ago.

In my stall just mindlessly running up and down my bag, and some youngster (prob 25-30) sets up right behind me.

without a word he starts matching me shot for shot, for like 30 balls. But just a little crisper and longer. He was pretty good. Finally I stop and turn to look at him.

He says "nice swing sir"

 

Sir?.... I may be 62, but does that make me a Sir?

thats what I used to call old people before I became one.

 

So now Im confused because he says nice swing, but then calls me sir...

 

I hate getting old...

Hate to tell you this but your still a youngster

 

 

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[Rickp]

I had a weird one a few weeks ago.

In my stall just mindlessly running up and down my bag, and some youngster (prob 25-30) sets up right behind me.

without a word he starts matching me shot for shot, for like 30 balls. But just a little crisper and longer. He was pretty good. Finally I stop and turn to look at him.

He says "nice swing sir"

 

Sir?.... I may be 62, but does that make me a Sir?

thats what I used to call old people before I became one.

 

So now Im confused because he says nice swing, but then calls me sir...

 

I hate getting old...

He's trying to be friendly and respectful.

 

 

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[GB13]

I had a weird one a few weeks ago.

In my stall just mindlessly running up and down my bag, and some youngster (prob 25-30) sets up right behind me.

without a word he starts matching me shot for shot, for like 30 balls. But just a little crisper and longer. He was pretty good. Finally I stop and turn to look at him.

He says "nice swing sir"

 

Sir?.... I may be 62, but does that make me a Sir?

thats what I used to call old people before I became one.

 

So now Im confused because he says nice swing, but then calls me sir...

 

I hate getting old...

Just being respectful and kind.

[SteddyGolf]

Those who can, do. Those who can't, coach

 

 

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