Redneck Tale

[BIG STU]

We were over on another thread discussing other golf sites and I mentioned I was the resident Redneck on here which I relish in. Ole gray and myself since he joined have competed on that. So as not to hijack the OP's thread all to heck and back I created this one to tell a little story.

Back in the day I was self described as a Redneck Hippie. I had real long hair rode a Harley, chewed Tobacco and listened to Rock and Roll but was a self styled redneck having been born and raised in NC and living in SC for over 35 years.

When I played the Minis in Florida in the late 70s early 80s I was the same way. I was known as Hippie Stu or Ponytail Stu. I also had another nickname Trailer Park since I stayed at a friend's trailer in Winter Park. He was a carney and was on the road in the summer when the minis were played so he let me stay at his place free in the summer to look after it. Now with the background done here is the main story

 

When we moved to the beach in 01 I had not played any real competetive golf for 15 years. I ended up playing some with my wife who took up the game when we moved here. Got to where I was doing ok and she suggested I start back playing some tournaments and Calcuttas some. They had a little Tour going on here locally in it's infancy so I joined up.I did ask the tour owner and director if he wanted me to cut my hair and he said "Heck no we like you as you are" So here I was

 

Moving on I had played for a few months with not much success but having fun. The Tour Championship was played that year at Grand Dunes which is a ritzy place. I decided to pull off a gag which I have a reputation for. With the blessings of the Tour Director I pulled this one off. My wife who rode on the cart with me and caddied for me drove in in her 300E Mercedes and I rode 5 minutes later on my Harley. Now they had a Security guard at the gate. When I pulled up to the gate with the rat 76 Shovelhead thumping he asked "what in the hell do you think you are doing?" In his best northern nasal tone. We have a lot of retired Northern cops who are security guards here that think they still have ultimate authority (not wanting to offend here just stating facts) I told him I am playing in the tournament there today. He informed me that there was a Pro group playing. Yeah I know I told him I am a member of that group and showed him my card. I further added call the Tour Director he is at the clubhouse. He called and I heard him saying something about a long haired hippie on a Harley then I heard him say in his best Police Recruit voice Yes Sir YES SIR!. He said well you check out as he was nerviously thumbing the strap on his pistol. I told him if he pulled that thing he had better use it because I had one too and did he want to see my CWP permit even though he did not have the authority in the State of SC to do so? he said well you are in and moved his hand back off his piece. Yeah you are in but you can not play in that tee shirt or jeans and where is your clubs? I told him do you remember the Champaign Mercedes 300 that just passed through with the good looking red head driving it? Yeah he said. I told him well that is my wife and caddie and my golf clubs and golf clothes are in the trunk> I had to add you can oogle all you want but you will never get a shot at that in your wildest dreams because she has been mine for 15 years now. I kicked off the Harley right there and rode off.

 

Come to find out there were a lot of people in on that gag besides the Tour Director the Club manager and grounds manager were in on it too. Turns out this guard was a Douchbag and they liked messing with him. 

 

Things have changed a little since then. I now longer ride a Harley can't balance them any more and I cut the hair too damn hot since I got older. But I still chew tobacco and dip and listen to rock and roll and of course I have my rat rod pickup with a blasting stereo. Like I say you are never too old to rock and roll and the home of Redneck Hippie Golf When The Tailgate Drops the BS Stops!!

 

Epitaph: That story is still told some around the beach. That guard told a Cop about it he did not know the cop knows me. That cop plays golf and has told everyone along the beach. I had someone that had heard the story and he asked me if it was true the other day? Told him sure was

[STUDque]

Well de by gaw. I can do the country accent but am unable to commit to the whole shebang. Great story, I'd do the same if I was good enough.

 

How'd you finish at the tour championship?

 

 

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[ole gray]

Now that's some funny shat cuz!   I would have loved to have been there pulling up behind ya in my old pick em up truck. That guard would of show nuff been scratching his head with back to back red necks making an entrance...  lol   

[BIG STU]

Well de by gaw. I can do the country accent but am unable to commit to the whole shebang. Great story, I'd do the same if I was good enough.

 

How'd you finish at the tour championship?

 

 

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4th or 5th in the senior division. You could play senior division at 48 years of age on that tour and I was 48 at the time. I think we had 15 in that division. I think we had 44 players overall and I think I finished around mid pack overall. that was a crazy 4 days scrambled my butt off which back then that was when I scored best when I was scrambling. Won the side skins pot the 2nd day with a fly in Eagle on the 18th from the right rough. There was a carryover so I won around $500. We always had a lot of carry overs and usually some one always won the skins pot with something lucky or spectacular on the last 2 or 3 holes. Now if I had pulled that feat off the day before I would have won the entire pot of $880. The day I took that a couple of guys had won skins holes outright One skin with 44 players was worth $88 that week. 

[TBT]

Funny story, I know a guy that belongs to a very exclusive club in the Dallas are who started riding Harleys and caught a lot of grief from his club when he would ride his bike to the course in full leathers and walk through the clubhouse to the men's locker room to change.

[bullldog]

Ok.. Got to ask. Why in H. would you wear leathers in Tx? Don't get cold enough.

[STUDque]

Ok.. Got to ask. Why in H. would you wear leathers in Tx? Don't get cold enough.

I'm not a biker but I hear this term often:

 

"dress for the slide not for the ride"

 

 

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[bullldog]

Only when cold or raining. Then I've seen shorts & tennis shoes or flip flops No way I do that.

But to each their own.

 

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[BIG STU]

I'm not a biker but I hear this term often:

 

"dress for the slide not for the ride"

 

 

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And they are darn skippy on that statement

[BIG STU]

Only when cold or raining. Then I've seen shorts & tennis shoes or flip flops No way I do that.

But to each their own.

 

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LOL That is called riding Myrtle Beach style---even though I live here I never ever done that-- Like Stud overheard "prepare for the slide not for the ride"

[bullldog]

Preferred attire

 

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[BIG STU]

I will tell you guys another since we are on the subject of Harleys and leather. This is the same time frame as the original post in fact I think it may have been a couple of weeks prior.

 

 The wife and I were riding the old Shovel one day leathers and all and decided to stop at Martin's Golf and Tennis (now PGA SS) on 29th ave north. Pulled up on the old Shovel just a hitting. People were staring as we went inside. I told the old lady watch this crap. She went to snickering right then I told her shut up! I got to fooling with the clubs and a wet behind the ears salesperson asked if he could help me? I gave him a line about I was thinking about taking up golf since we had moved to the "Golf Capital of The Free World".

He steered me towards the hitting bays and asked me to swing this driver. I took the worst grip I could with a split hand baseball grip and swung out of my shoes a few times and whiffed a couple. The young guy said excuse me a minute and I was sure he was going behind the screens making fun of me with his co workers. Now he was not paying attention so I gripped with my normal grip and stance and went to striping the ball. Now he came out and did not notice my grip and stance had changed. He asked me are you sure you are just taking up the game? I said yep I told him I was watching the fellow a few booths over and he seemed  like he hit it well and so I copied what he was doing. The kid was shaking his head and my wife was snickering about to crack up. By then several of his equally wet behind the ears co workers along with some customers were looking. About that time I heard a familuar voice say "Stuey you long haired hippie Harley riding SOB are you up to some of your crap in MY store?" It was one of my Tour Buddies and he was the head PGA Pro and club fitter there. The kid told him sir he hits the ball real good and has never played golf before and is thinking of taking up the game. My wife lost it then and there. Staff and customers were totally confused. Then the pro stated "You guys have been BSed bad this guy is a professional golfer and plays on the same tour as I do but in the senior division" He just thinks he is Billy Bad A$$ed Biker". He added it is a good thing I saw him because he is also along with being a jokester and professional BS artist is a golf hustler and would found some way to hustle you out of your hard earned paycheck. I looked at him and asked JT why did you tell on me? I needed Harley gas money. He said BS you probably have at least a grand in your pocket right now! Then he cracked up laughing. He knew the part about me hustleing because I hustled him once on a rainy cold day for $20. He was head pro then at a links style course here and it was rainy and windy. Shoot we decided to play from the tips for $20. Now remember he was in his late 20s and I was 48 or 49 at the time and he did hit a long ball. There was this one par 3 hole that measured 245 from the tips down the hill. We were even at the time. I hit a driver and remember I was STILL hitting persimmon at the time. I hit a low cut down the hill and it rolled 2 feet from the pin. He said there was no way in hell he was hitting a driver on a par 3 period. He hit a 3 wood and hooked it left of the green. I told him if he chipped it in it would only get him a half.Of course he did not knock it in and he actually gave me the putt. Later on he said he would not tell anyone if he was me that I had hit a driver on a par 3. I told him BS you don't want anyone to know a Senior Division player beat you on your own track from the tips in bad weather with persimmon and blades. Of course I told the story then and there in his store. Of course he got me back a month or so down the road when we played a course and there were no Senior Division players that day and so I played from the back with him and the flat bellies and got waxed. That course from there was a little too much for me that day with the lumber. I shot 84 that day got steamrolled he shot a 65 and got his $20 back. Of course to save face he told that then and there in the store.

 

One of my wife's friends her hubby is going through his second childhood so to speak. She asked If I was going through the same thing since we are the same age? My wife said HELL NO! he has not gotten out of his first one yet he is a 15 year old Juvenile Delinquent trapped in a 60 year old man's body

[TBT]

Ok.. Got to ask. Why in H. would you wear leathers in Tx? Don't get cold enough.

He was one of these "weekend warrior" bikers, a suit and tie lawyer that wanted to be a outlaw biker on the weekends so he wore chaps and a leather jacket or a leather cut anytime he rode.

 

But it does get cold enough for leathers in the winter in North Texas.

 

My preferred riding attire is very similar to your, but I won't ride in shorts...I like my skin too much lol.

[bullldog]

He was one of these "weekend warrior" bikers, a suit and tie lawyer that wanted to be a outlaw biker on the weekends so he wore chaps and a leather jacket or a leather cut anytime he rode.

 

But it does get cold enough for leathers in the winter in North Texas.

 

My preferred riding attire is very similar to your, but I won't ride in shorts...I like my skin too much lol.

I refrain hard not to use the word "rubbie". LMAO

[bullldog]

Back in "03 some of my biker buddies were having a gathering in Houston in Aug.

Rode to Waco & stayed with a bud. Then across to the E. side down to High Point & back to the west to no longer there Gilchrist to stay with another friend. Then took ferry over to Galveston & got caught in fri afternoon traffic in Houston. Now that's some heat & humidity. But had a blast.

[BIG STU]

I refrain hard not to use the word "rubbie". LMAO

I do not refrain to use the term "RUB" at all. We have a lot of them down here less since the recession and then of course there are the bike weeks. LOL my old Shovel with the Sifton E cams used to hit and sounded like it was saying 'rub rub rub" Had fishtails on it too. I still had points in mine and always carried a extra set with condenser sealed up in a Plastic Kodiak can. One night at SBB (a local biker bar) the damn points burned up. Aw heck I laid belly down and changed them then and there drew a crowd of RUBs in awe. Mine was also kick only. Out of all the Harleys I owned only 2 did not have points. The 66 Panster had a Magneto and the 91 Sportster did have electronic ignition. The 91 Sportster was the only Harley I ever owned that was not kick start. You have probably been around long enough to know what a Panster is. For those who do not it is a home built hybrid Harley with a early Sportster bottom end with Panhead  cylinders and jugs at 61 CI. I always loved shovels and Sportsters. My first Harley was a 1965 Panhead the last year they made those. Wish I had kept it and my 82 Shovel because that was the last year they made those. Wish I had kept my 75 XLCH Sportster because that was the first year they moved the foot shift to the left side. The 91 Sportster was the first year of the 5 speed. Like Golf Stuff I had oddball and I guess in some circles collectable. The Shovel in the 2 stories above was a 1976 Bi Centinneal FLX

[bullldog]

Here's my ol Shovel '82 FXE. (kicker)

[BIG STU]

My 76 came from the factory with the Sportster front end but someone along the way had changed it to a aftermarket  Wide Glide Front end with 50s style tin. What was oddball is that it had those high dollar KME I think it was double disc brakes on the front but of course 16 inch rubber front and rear It also had the KME disc brake on the rear. My 82 was a FLH Sport Glide from the factory which was basically a stripped dresser with factory front mounted controls. BTW you can tell your 82 was kick only because it had the smaller battery. The kick/electric had the larger battery. My 82 was a kick/electric start and had the larger battery with the square oil tank

[ole gray]

You know bruther  I'm coming after ya arse as the #1 Redneck on MGS!  Once I win the title, I'm coming up to SC and putting a whupping on ya bad self....   Well maybe if ya give me 18 shots a side....    lol  

[TheWahoo]

You know bruther  I'm coming after ya arse as the #1 Redneck on MGS!  Once I win the title, I'm coming up to SC and putting a whupping on ya bad self....   Well maybe if ya give me 18 shots a side....    lol  

Near as I can tell, there may be several of us Redneck good ole boys on this site.   Rather than compete, we should join together in order to meet our obligation to spread country wisdom to our more urban or surburban friends on this site.   Many are going to be shocked when they reach the Gates of Heaven and St. Peter tells them to get in the pick-up we're driving up to the big house.

[Reesedw]

Gotta love a good Red-neck story.. 

 

Born and raised in Washington.. I listen to two kinds of music Country and Western.. for special occasions I break out the Good Camo.. I had a coonhound, but not Long hair. I have a mason jar in the pantry with a clear liqud that burns both goin in and coming out.. My gun collection is growing.. 

 

I might not be from the south but I am a Red-neck.. If it wasn't for golf and my job, it would be Levi's, Baseball hat, and camo for me.. 

 

 

[silver & black]

Gotta love a good Red-neck story.. 

 

Born and raised in Washington.. I listen to two kinds of music Country and Western.. for special occasions I break out the Good Camo.. I had a coonhound, but not Long hair. I have a mason jar in the pantry with a clear liqud that burns both goin in and coming out.. My gun collection is growing.. 

 

I might not be from the south but I am a Red-neck.. If it wasn't for golf and my job, it would be Levi's, Baseball hat, and camo for me.. 

Now you're getting near and dear to my heart!

[ole gray]

Gotta love a good Red-neck story.. 

 

Born and raised in Washington.. I listen to two kinds of music Country and Western.. for special occasions I break out the Good Camo.. I had a coonhound, but not Long hair. I have a mason jar in the pantry with a clear liqud that burns both goin in and coming out.. My gun collection is growing.. 

 

I might not be from the south but I am a Red-neck.. If it wasn't for golf and my job, it would be Levi's, Baseball hat, and camo for me.. 

 

My momma once told me I might meet up with a step brother one of these days and I'm speculating you just my be him!   

[Jmikecpa]

I am a Yankee but there were many times i road my Harley to my club before kids when I was allowed to still ride. Got a lot of looks the first year then it became the norm for me.

 

 

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[BIG STU]

Near as I can tell, there may be several of us Redneck good ole boys on this site.   Rather than compete, we should join together in order to meet our obligation to spread country wisdom to our more urban or surburban friends on this site.   Many are going to be shocked when they reach the Gates of Heaven and St. Peter tells them to get in the pick-up we're driving up to the big house.

Redneck knows no Geographical bounds. My buddy Bear and his brother are from upstate NY and are as big of a redneck as I am. I have another buddy I have not seen in years and he is from the country in Northwestern Conneticutt and he is as big of a redneck as I am too. I have met them from all over this country and in Canada too!!!

[TheWahoo]

Redneck knows no Geographical bounds. My buddy Bear and his brother are from upstate NY and are as big of a redneck as I am. I have another buddy I have not seen in years and he is from the country in Northwestern Conneticutt and he is as big of a redneck as I am too. I have met them from all over this country and in Canada too!!!

I totally agree with you, it defines a lifestyle with no geographical boundaries.   Additionally, being raised in the foothills of the Blue Ridge, I proudly accept the label of Hillbilly as well.  Similarly, there are good mountain folk up north as well.   Never the less, I have often said--American by birth, but Southern by the grace of God.   Something for which I am eternally grateful is my rural country roots.  I married a city girl and, after decades,  I still haven't gotten her to slow down and relax.

[BIG STU]

I totally agree with you, it defines a lifestyle with no geographical boundaries.   Additionally, being raised in the foothills of the Blue Ridge, I proudly accept the label of Hillbilly as well.  Similarly, there are good mountain folk up north as well.   Never the less, I have often said--American by birth, but Southern by the grace of God.   Something for which I am eternally grateful is my rural country roots.  I married a city girl and, after decades,  I still haven't gotten her to slow down and relax.

IMHO That sentence "Southern By The Grace Of God" says it all.  I am lucky my wife is one of those good old Iredell County NC redneck gals

[tommc23]

I agree that red neck knows has no boundaries. I live in Pennsylvania and I train my hunting dogs more than I golf. If I am not golfing I'm wearing camo or carhartts.

 

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[TheWahoo]

IMHO That sentence "Southern By The Grace Of God" says it all.  I am lucky my wife is one of those good old Iredell County NC redneck gals

Yep, my wife and I are examples of the classic opposites attracting.   It took me a while to get her to come with me to the NASCAR races back home.   But she became extremely disappointed when Rusty Wallace retired and learned to dislike Jeff Gordon.  Travis Tritt has a song "Son of the New South" that I have more or less adopted as a personal theme song.

[BIG STU]

Yep, my wife and I are examples of the classic opposites attracting.   It took me a while to get her to come with me to the NASCAR races back home.   But she became extremely disappointed when Rusty Wallace retired and learned to dislike Jeff Gordon.  Travis Tritt has a song "Son of the New South" that I have more or less adopted as a personal theme song.

For me NASCAR is not NASCAR anymore. In reality it ended for me in Feburary of 2001. And now I am really feeling old with "Little E" retiring at the end of this year. I was starting to feel it last year when Jeff Gordon retired. I do not even keep up with it anymore, I can not tell you who drives what number car or who sponsors who unless  I see a commercial or store display. Nothing at all against "little E" I just could not get enthused about him. For me it is not as "colorful" as it used to be even with Kyle Bush's antics. I guess it is a sign of ME getting old and cranky. Back in the day and I mean way back I was always a Buddy Baker fan win lose or draw because I knew him in fact him and my old man were friends and I played quite a bit of golf growing up with him at the old mans course. I pulled for him win loose or draw no matter what brand of car he drove> Sadly we lost him to cancer last year. I also pulled for Big E since I also knew him and knocked around on the dirt tracks some against him  before he drove his way to fortune and fame. I pulled for him even when he drove a FORD too. I will say it again Damn I am getting OLD