What's your on-course identity?

[STUDque]

 

We've all got our 'thing' that characterizes us on the course. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's both. The idea here is to sum up your game in a short sentence.

 

 

For example:

 

 

In typical Tiger fashion, he pulled his drive in the bunker then hit a 3 iron over water onto a green 250 yards away.

 

Or

 

Phil being Phil, he took a gamble that put him in the water then holes his chip on one hop for par.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To make this a little more fun, try to put your submission as if a sports commentator was announcing it.

 

 

 

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[Shankster]

Feherty here reporting from the thickets. Not sure I've ever seen quite the cabbage, not to mention this poor fellas name...

 

he has about 110 yards and I see a wedge, but I don't see him extracting this ball... it's just a horrible spot on the course he's got about a 1' window to hit..... they'll put a plaque here if he makes it.

 

And here we go. Oh my, I don't think I've seen such a beautiful shot, he's left with 2' putt for birdie.

[yungkory]

Let's see if he can make birdie from 140 yards this time. Nope, another bogey. What keeps this man going is beyond me, folks.

 

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[TSauer]

I'll extend mine from Shanksters...

 

What a miraculous shot from the spinach to put himself on the dance floor for an easy birdie, surely he will drain this.

 

moments later

 

Well, he walked away with a bogey.

[GolfSpy MPR]

It's mystifying that the same golfer who can string together several respectable holes can follow it up by playing so many shots on a single hole, but there it is, folks.

 

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[STUDque]

(Faldo) Well I don't know what he's hoping to pull off here but it seems as if he's going to try to go through the car door window. In this situation with a lead like this, he just needs to play it to the middle of the fairway and take his medicine from there......moments later well I don't think that was exactly what he was trying for but it seems to have worked out perfectly!

 

And one more...

 

 

(Nantz) After a perfect drive down past his playing partners, he has wedge in hand ready to take dead aim at the flagstick....... Oh my, it's sailed way over the green into a lot of trouble inside that tree. It's just terrible to see him physically assaulting his caddie like that.

 

 

 

 

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[Shankster]

I'll extend mine from Shanksters...

 

What a miraculous shot from the spinach to put himself on the dance floor for an easy birdie, surely he will drain this.

 

moments later

 

Well, he walked away with a bogey.

And to finish the commentary:

 

I've never seen such a poor display of putting, he couldn't have missed that any worse. I think it went backwards.

[TSauer]

And to finish the commentary:

 

I've never seen such a poor display of putting, he couldn't have missed that any worse. I think it went backwards.

Lmao! That's perfect! 🤣

[GolfJunkie302]

"Well folks, that was a hack show."

 

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[STUDque]

I almost put in the intro "write it like Feherty would say it" but decided to leave it more open.

 

Quality stuff Shanks. Those on-point analogies were a good laugh. I could hear him saying that as I read it.

 

 

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[Shankster]

I almost put in the intro "write it like Feherty would say it" but decided to leave it more open.

 

Quality stuff Shanks. Those on-point analogies were a good laugh. I could hear him saying that as I read it.

 

 

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I've actually thought about writing story after this post. Stay tuned.

[Brian A]

"if he really gets a hold of this one with his 3 wood, he'll have a simple eagle putt...nope, he hit it the normal distance he does and its in the water"

[TheWahoo]

Our featured group has been the Wahoo and his three senior buddies.  They are now playing 18, so it appear that they all will live.

 

Oh, no, it seems that the Wahoo has put his second shot into the green side sand bunker.  Unfortunately, we are out of our allotted time, if you wish to see continued play turn to the Comedy Channel.

[Kor.A.Door]

Ooh, and there goes the helicopter again, oooooh, he's not allowed to say that on TV is he.

[STUDque]

Ooh, and there goes the helicopter again, oooooh, he's not allowed to say that on TV is he.

[Shankster]

Man... I really used to like Subway.

[robertson153]

This is definitely me. Always trying to prove to someone I can hit it over the water or cut that corner

 

 

Blake

[JAGolfore]

I personally love wearing all black and sunglasses. No way you know what I'm thinking. Little bit of Gary Player and Dale Earnhardt.

 

 

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[PING Apologist #9]

A perfect drive to the center of the fairway, followed by a laser beam 4-hybrid right at the cup and to within 10-foot.

Oooooh, another 3-putt! Well it looks like he'll have some apologizing to to to PING for using their clubs so dammed poorly....Again!

[KCLeo12]

Hits a bomb down the fairway hits a wedge over the green chips it to 20 ft and makes the par.

[kardboard.kid]

Peter Kostis; "With a wild 6 iron from the tee on the Par 3 7th, Karboard.kid safely landed his shot on the putting surface.  Although he missed the 3ft birdie putt, he was able to garner his par. "

[PMookie]

Johnny Miller: “He's just not that good. He's SO inconsistent that he should give-up the game. He's Jekyll then Hyde... I shot 8 under on the last day of a major. Let me tell you about it...”

 

 

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[STUDque]

Johnny Miller: “He's just not that good. He's SO inconsistent that he should give-up the game. He's Jekyll then Hyde... I shot 8 under on the last day of a major. Let me tell you about it...”

 

 

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HA!

I wish I could like this twice because that's a perfect impression of Miller.

 

 

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[tony@CIC]

I personally love wearing all black and sunglasses. No way you know what I'm thinking. Little bit of Gary Player and Dale Earnhardt.

 

 

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Hmm a golf version of Johnny Cash?

 

 

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[HighFade]

He plays like he has no balls left.

[HardcoreLooper]

So Rog, what do you think he needs here?

 

Lessons.

[Big money]

This guy always dresses so good But game just stinks “ Nick Faldo

 

“Hard to believe women keep their panties on when this guy is in town” Brandel Chamblee

[ole gray]

Boo Weekly  interviewed saying the only guy who can ride a driver down the fairway better is ole gray 

 

[Berg Ryman]

Dan Hicks: We go live down to the course and our man on the bag, Jim McKay. How's it going Bones?

 

Bones: Hello Dan. Well, today has been an eventful one for bergtaur, a real roller coaster. 17, Par 3, 190, pin on the middle tier, wind slightly hurting and off the left. He's got 5 iron, think he's going to try and run it back. He's got this weird move where he throws the shaft across his belt line and shoulder line before bringing to address.

 

Johnny: Never saw anyone do that on the course Bones. Maybe on the range, maybe in a pro-am... Never in all my years. Tough shot into the green, gets those palms sweaty, could be quick here.

 

Bones: Right you are Johnny, that seems be the trouble sometimes for bergtaur. He's taken the 5.

 

*swing*

 

Bones: A bit of a push, looks like it's missing short and right and he is not happy about it guys. Turned right away after contact and not even watching it come down. Looks buried up there in the rough.

 

Johnny: Buried with the grain into him Bones, just went from bad to worse.

 

*Later in coverage*

 

Peter Jacobson: And we go back to 17 with Bones McKay.

 

Thanks Peter: So bergtaur is standing over this 20 footer for par, he did the best he could to get it to here, a big hack with the 60* and now this for an unlikely par save. Looks like a double breaker, starts right but goes back left a little at the hole. He sends it, it's tracking, and just stays high. Tap in for bogey 4.

 

*scorecard graphic flashes on screen*

 

Dan: Johnny, take a look at that card!

 

Johnny: Consistently inconsistent. Couple birdies, couple doubles, mostly pars and a few bogeys. It's gonna be hard for him to stay on tour playing like this. He needs to find that will to win, that drive to be great. This guy just might not have it in him.

 

*Post round interview*

 

Dan: And let's go to George Savaricas, standing by with bergtaur.

 

George: Thanks Dan. So bergtaur, little bit up and down today. How do you think the round went?

 

Bergtaur: Well George, it was a struggle out there at times. I felt good at the start of the round, found some stuff out there yesterday in the pro-am that I thought I'd take today and it just wasn't there. Got off to a tough start and I was behind the 8-ball from the jump.

 

George: A lot of people on Twitter though are saying that the save you made back on 11 is one the best they've ever seen. How did you make that shot happen?

 

Bergtaur: Well, that's golf, right George? Hahaha... I don't know. I didn't have anything going, then you hit one shot and it's like the lights come back on. Got that juice in the middle of the round with those couple of birdies after that save, but didn't close strong. Seems like I can never get it together for 18 out here, and it's tough.

 

George: Well, thanks for the time and hopefully we'll see you on the weekend.

 

Bergtaur: I hope so George, thanks buddy *shakes hand*.

 

George: Dan, Johnny, back to you.

[ole gray]

Dan Hicks: We go live down to the course and our man on the bag, Jim McKay. How's it going Bones?

 

Bones: Hello Dan. Well, today has been an eventful one for bergtaur, a real roller coaster. 17, Par 3, 190, pin on the middle tier, wind slightly hurting and off the left. He's got 5 iron, think he's going to try and run it back. He's got this weird move where he throws the shaft across his belt line and shoulder line before bringing to address.

 

Johnny: Never saw anyone do that on the course Bones. Maybe on the range, maybe in a pro-am... Never in all my years. Tough shot into the green, gets those palms sweaty, could be quick here.

 

Bones: Right you are Johnny, that seems be the trouble sometimes for bergtaur. He's taken the 5.

 

*swing*

 

Bones: A bit of a push, looks like it's missing short and right and he is not happy about it guys. Turned right away after contact and not even watching it come down. Looks buried up there in the rough.

 

Johnny: Buried with the grain into him Bones, just went from bad to worse.

 

*Later in coverage*

 

Peter Jacobson: And we go back to 17 with Bones McKay.

 

Thanks Peter: So bergtaur is standing over this 20 footer for par, he did the best he could to get it to here, a big hack with the 60* and now this for an unlikely par save. Looks like a double breaker, starts right but goes back left a little at the hole. He sends it, it's tracking, and just stays high. Tap in for bogey 4.

 

*scorecard graphic flashes on screen*

 

Dan: Johnny, take a look at that card!

 

Johnny: Consistently inconsistent. Couple birdies, couple doubles, mostly pars and a few bogeys. It's gonna be hard for him to stay on tour playing like this. He needs to find that will to win, that drive to be great. This guy just might not have it in him.

 

*Post round interview*

 

Dan: And let's go to George Savaricas, standing by with bergtaur.

 

George: Thanks Dan. So bergtaur, little bit up and down today. How do you think the round went?

 

Bergtaur: Well George, it was a struggle out there at times. I felt good at the start of the round, found some stuff out there yesterday in the pro-am that I thought I'd take today and it just wasn't there. Got off to a tough start and I was behind the 8-ball from the jump.

 

George: A lot of people on Twitter though are saying that the save you made back on 11 is one the best they've ever seen. How did you make that shot happen?

 

Bergtaur: Well, that's golf, right George? Hahaha... I don't know. I didn't have anything going, then you hit one shot and it's like the lights come back on. Got that juice in the middle of the round with those couple of birdies after that save, but didn't close strong. Seems like I can never get it together for 18 out here, and it's tough.

 

George: Well, thanks for the time and hopefully we'll see you on the weekend.

 

Bergtaur: I hope so George, thanks buddy *shakes hand*.

 

George: Dan, Johnny, back to you.

Dayuuummmm bro you ever thought about getting in the novel business ..

 

 

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