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A theology of the golf gods


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As a pastor, good theology is really important to me.   But the golf course is a bit of an exception. While my confession says that I believe in one true God, I also kinda believe in the golf gods.

Much like the commandment: Thou shalt not covet     Anytime you start heavily searching for a new club, the current one in your bag will start hitting perfect shots....until you stop searching.

The gods have decreed that not all parts of the golf game shall be working at the same time. If you are driving the ball great, then the irons shall perform poorly. If the driver and the irons work we

What the golf gods giveth, the golf gods can taketh away.

 

The golf gods looked down and saw the sheepherders tending their flocks, which the gods found to be rather boring. They decided it would be more entertaining if rather than lying down in green pastures, the herders were playing on green pastures. So they instructed the herders to dig a hole, get a stick and see who could get a ball or perhaps a round stone into the hole in fewer efforts. Thus the game began and the gods have been entertained ever since.

 

On a typical Sunday morning, my wife leaves for Mass and I leave to the golf course. I tell her that I bet I heard and saw more people praying than she did.

Funny, I always play nine Sunday mornings while my wife is in church. Probably why my game is so bad.

 

 

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post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg KE4 TC 16° 4 wood w/Kuro Kage Black 60g shaft

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:tour-edge: HL E521 25° 5 hybrid w/Fubuki HD55 shaft

post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg Sti2 6 iron w/UST Recoil 660 graphite shaft
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg KE4 Tour+ irons 7-PW w/UST Competition Series graphite shafts

:cleveland-small: CBX2 50° wedge w/Rotex shaft
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:cleveland-small:  Huntington Beach Soft Premier 10.5

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Funny, I always play nine Sunday mornings while my wife is in church. Probably why my game is so bad.

 

 

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To tag on this, I always play like crap when my wife decides to go visit her family. She wants me to go, but personally I'd rather 3 putt than hang out with my mother in law

 

 

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  • 4 months later...

You'll never feel more dialed in and ready to go with your putter than you do on an indoor green in January four months before the snow melts.

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On 9/25/2018 at 9:12 AM, TheWahoo said:

What the golf gods giveth, the golf gods can taketh away.  

 

The golf gods looked down and saw the sheepherders tending their flocks, which the gods found to be rather boring.   They decided it would be more entertaining if rather than lying down in green pastures, the herders were playing on green pastures.  So they instructed the herders to dig a hole, get a stick and see who could get a ball or perhaps a round stone into the hole in fewer efforts.   Thus the game began and the gods have been entertained ever since.  

 

On a typical Sunday morning, my wife leaves for Mass and I leave to the golf course.   I tell her that I bet I heard and saw more people praying than she did.

My wife goes to Mass on Thursday morning when kids go, so she can join me on the course Sunday morning.  She considers the course as a church.

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We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.”

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The grass will always be greener on the private course you cannot get onto.


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  • 1 month later...

A good friend was having a very bad day at the links;  hitting many a ball out of bounds into a thick woods.  Finally, he snidely announced he was going to hit one of his best and newest golfballs directly into the forrest to appease the golf gods.

After a mighty thwack, the ball came back with a righteous vengeance and hit him squarely, and with great force, upon the knee followed by taking a path which took the afore said ball directly into a river.

The immediate onslaught of laughter from the rest of us, who made up the foursome, mirrored that of the spirits of the course.

Note Bene: If one wants to appease the gods of golf, one should not use a mocking tone when offering a sacrifice!

Thus ends my parable for the new theology! (Although, it is very much a true story!) ⛳ 😆

Edited by DrMJG
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In My BELDIN Green Bay Packer 1999 Super Bowl Champions Bag  :  :ping: G410 Plus, Alta Red CB 55 SR Flex, GX-7 14º(acting as a 3 wood),  :ping:   G400 4H, 5H. Sr Flex,   :ping:  G400 6i Sr Flex, G-Max 7i. 9i Sr Flex , Glide 2.0  Wedges graphite SR Shafts (50º, 56º, 60º),  :ping: Putter: Cadence Mid-TR 350g :bridgestone: e12 for the items I try to hit on purposematte red, so I can see them. :footjoy: on my feet and hands, US Embassy-Singapore hat on my head (with PACKERS, Brewers or UW-Badgers hats as options).

 

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  • 1 month later...
My wife goes to Mass on Thursday morning when kids go, so she can join me on the course Sunday morning.  She considers the course as a church.

Yeah I do a lot of praying on Sunday morning (at the golf course). Please God let this putt roll in, etc. etc.


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My only hole in one so far was a few weeks ago. It was a 107 yard grounder on hole #1 that was a complete mis-hit. Thank you lord!


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th.jpg.d6e2abdaeb04f007fd259c979f389de6.jpg Gen1 0811X 12° driver w/Project X Evenflow Blue 55g shaft
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg KE4 TC 16° 4 wood w/Kuro Kage Black 60g shaft

:srixon-small: Z355 22° 7 wood w/Miyazaki Jinsoku shaft
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg KE4 TC 19° 3 hybrid w/UST Proforce V2 Black shaft
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg KE4 TC 22° 4 hybrid w/UST Proforce V2 Black shaft

:tour-edge: HL E521 25° 5 hybrid w/Fubuki HD55 shaft

post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg Sti2 6 iron w/UST Recoil 660 graphite shaft
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg KE4 Tour+ irons 7-PW w/UST Competition Series graphite shafts

:cleveland-small: CBX2 50° wedge w/Rotex shaft
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411.jpg M-Series+ 56° wedge w/UST Recoil 660 graphite shaft
:cleveland-small:  Huntington Beach Soft Premier 10.5

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  • 9 months later...

 

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8 hours ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

 

It was good enough this week.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The golf gods watch you practice your indoor putting all winter long, and they chuckle. You don't see, but they do, that your mat has the slightest right break, so that you've been grooving a perfect pulled putt stroke for the last four months.

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:cobra-small: F6 5-6W, 18.5°, Fujikura Motore 6.3
:adams-small: XTD Proto dHy 21°, Aldila Green NV Hybrid 105 S
:Sub70: 699 Pro, Modus3 105, 5–PW
:Sub70: Forged Black 50°, 54°, and 58°
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Invariably after missing every putt all day, the 35 footer you have for double on the 16th will be the most beautiful putt you have ever seen and have absolutely no way to miss. 

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6 minutes ago, THEZIPR23 said:

Invariably after missing every putt all day, the 35 footer you have for double on the 16th will be the most beautiful putt you have ever seen and have absolutely no way to miss. 

I love that one: the guys in your group all whoop it up, while you're just standing there, shaking your head, totally befuddled.

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:adams-small: XTD Proto dHy 21°, Aldila Green NV Hybrid 105 S
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3 hours ago, GolfSpy Stroker said:

The golf gods always TAKETH AWAY and GIVETH.... 

...brutal!

This might be the golf godsiest thing I've ever seen. We normally focus on the vindictive nature of the golf gods, but I don't think it's deniable that DeLaet made that putt because he went over and gave Campbell credit for his shot. The golf gods rewarded the solid sportsmanship.

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:callaway-small: Mavrik Sub Zero 15°, Aldila Rogue White 130 MSI 70 S
:cobra-small: F6 5-6W, 18.5°, Fujikura Motore 6.3
:adams-small: XTD Proto dHy 21°, Aldila Green NV Hybrid 105 S
:Sub70: 699 Pro, Modus3 105, 5–PW
:Sub70: Forged Black 50°, 54°, and 58°
:odyssey-small: Stroke Lab EXO Seven Mini, 34"
:srixon-small: Z-Star XV

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32 minutes ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

This might be the golf godsiest thing I've ever seen. We normally focus on the vindictive nature of the golf gods, but I don't think it's deniable that DeLaet made that putt because he went over and gave Campbell credit for his shot. The golf gods rewarded the solid sportsmanship.

That's the difference between pros and ams.  After hitting the pin and rolling off the green, I would blade the next shot over the green into a bunker, behind a tree, or into the water.  

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We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.”

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