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Favorite Golf Snarks?


fixyurdivot
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"Got your putter caught in your skirt?"  I've always enjoyed hearing new ones over the years playing with various folks.  What is your favorite?

:ping-small: G410 Plus, 9 Degree Driver 

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 16 Degree 3w

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 19 Degree 5w

:srixon-small:  ZX5 Irons 4-AW 

:ping-small: Glide 2.0 56 Degree SW   (removed from double secret probation 😍)

:EVNROLL: ER5v Putter  (Evnroll ER5v Official Review)

 

 

 

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First time playing in Canada a friend quipped to me after a duffed chip "does your husband also play golf" 😉

I know it's an old one now but it had me in stitches at the time.

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Driver     Awaiting NEW Driver (after 10 yrs)  
4 Wood   Callaway Big Bertha Steelhead plus 4+  :callaway-small: Callaway shaft in 'Firm' flex

Hybrid     Titleist 910H 19*    :titelist-small:   Diamana ahina 'flower' shaft in 'S'

Irons         Mizuno MP18SC 4-PW   :mizuno-small:  N.S Pro Modus3 Tour 105 in 'S'

Wedges    Callaway Mack Daddy forged in black 50* and 54*  :callaway-small:   KBS Tour in 'R'

Putter        'YES' Tracy 11 C groove 34.5"

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When I bomb one past someone I go with:
“Did you hear about that new Walmart they are building?”

No where is it?

“Between my ball and yours!”

This is a favorite that I’ll never forget the faces on my dad and uncles face when I hit each of them with it


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

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<p>Knoxville, TN 8 Hdcp PXG 0811  10.59deg loft Ping G25 3 wood Titleist 2i rescue Ping I irons +1 upright Vokey Sm5 52, 56, OdysseyRed 2Ball Fang with 1.0 super stroke</p>

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While well intended, I have heard:  You don't play bad for someone your age.

When a bud hits the green but a ways from the pin: You're dancing but its a long song with an ugly woman; or, you're dancing but you might not be able to hear the band.

When a bud is getting frustrated:  Remember its called golf because all the other four letter words were taken.

When a bud can't seem to make a putt from any length:   Hopefully, your wife ain't horney tonight.

 

 

Edited by TheWahoo
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A couple, with explanations.  One of our regular players was ALWAYS positive about every shot, even clearly awful ones.  A ball headed high over the OB fence, Fred is saying "great swing!".  That usually caused some type of angry response, mostly unprintable words.  We now call the compliment for a clearly awful shot "Fredding" the player.  

The other started on a trip to Palm Springs a year or two ago.   My wife and I and two other friends are playing, and Rick's non-golfer wife is along with us for the ride,  which is pretty common for her My friend Rick, a really solid player,  was having a really tough day, hitting a bunch of bunkers and really struggling with the sand shots.  Finally, he hit a nice one, and Lisa says "That was a good shot....for you".  So now we bring that phrase out a couple of times every round, "that was a good shot.....for you".

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:titelist-small: Irons Titleist AP2 714, KBS Tour S, 3 flat

:callaway-small: Rogue SubZero, GD YS-Six X

:vokey-small: 52, 56, and 60 wedges

:ping-small: B60 G5i putter

Right handed

Reston, Virginia

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That was one hell of a shot....from there.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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WITB

:titleist-small: TSR3 10* Project X HC Yellow 76g 6.5

:titleist-small: TSR2+ 13* Diamana Blueboard 83x

:callaway-small: Apex UW 17* UST Elements Wind 9f5

:titleist-small: TSI3 20* AD DI 95x

:PXG: 0311 ST 5 -PW KBS $Taper 130

:PXG: Sugar Daddy 50* KBS $Taper 130

:bettinardi-small: HLX 3.0 54* & 58* TTDG S400

:odyssey-small: Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34"

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And one that got under my skin a bit. Played with a high handicap at my club and I shot -4 67. After the round he told me it was a good round but could have been great, I made way to many routine pars. My response was fantastic 102 that you chucked up there today.

Heck I made 4 birds and 14 pars for a clean card. He started the day with a quad and followed it with a triple from the middle of the fairway with a 9 iron.


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WITB

:titleist-small: TSR3 10* Project X HC Yellow 76g 6.5

:titleist-small: TSR2+ 13* Diamana Blueboard 83x

:callaway-small: Apex UW 17* UST Elements Wind 9f5

:titleist-small: TSI3 20* AD DI 95x

:PXG: 0311 ST 5 -PW KBS $Taper 130

:PXG: Sugar Daddy 50* KBS $Taper 130

:bettinardi-small: HLX 3.0 54* & 58* TTDG S400

:odyssey-small: Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34"

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After hitting a putt way short one of my buddies will hit you with “be careful walking to your ball, wouldn’t want you to trip on your tampon string”


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy

  • Like 3

 

 

:callaway-small: XR Driver Matrix Ozik 8m3 Black Tie Shaft

:cobra-small: King F7 3W UST Mamiya Chrome Elements 7F4 Shaft

:cobra-small: King F7 5W UST Mamiya Chrome Elements 7F4 Shaft

:cobra-small: King F7 4 Hybrid Graphite Designs Tour AD-HY 95 Shaft

PXG 0211 DC 5-PW Mitsubishi MMT 80 Shafts

:cleveland-small: RTX ZIPCORE 50*,54*,58* UST Mamiya Recoil 95 Shafts

:odyssey-small: Metal X Milled #7 with SuperStroke 2.0 grip

:Snell: MTB

 

 



Twitter: @timldotson
Instagram: timldotson
Facebook: TimDotson

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9 hours ago, TBT said:

After hitting a putt way short one of my buddies will hit you with “be careful walking to your ball, wouldn’t want you to trip on your tampon string”


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy

That's HARSH man.

  • Like 4

In the bag:
Driver: :titelist-small: TSi2 Project X HZRDUS Smoke RDX Black 6.0
Hybrid: :mizuno-small: Fli Hi 3 & 4 Project X HZRDUS Smoke RDX Black 80 6.0

Irons: :mizuno-small: JPX 923 HMP 5-PW UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Wedges: :mizuno-small: T-22 Denim Copper 48°, 52° & 56° UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Putter :Sub70: Sycamore 005 Wide Blade
Bag: 
:Ogio: Alpha Convoy 514
Balls: :mizuno-small: RB Tour or RB Tour X

Cart: :CaddyTek: CaddyLite ONE Ver. 8


God Bless America🇺🇸, God save the King🇬🇧, God defend New Zealand🇳🇿 and thank Christ for Australia🇦🇺!

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"Oh, it opens up over there" after the slice into the brush

or

"That's playable..." after knocking it off a tree backwards

even

"Nice lay-up Mary" after a chunk

  • Like 5

In my       :ping-small: DLX Cart Bag:
Driver
:    :ping-small: G410 SFT, set to 9.5*, Mitsubishi Tensei CK Orange 60, stiff (MGS Official 2019 Tester)
3W:          :ping-small: G-Series SF TEC, set to 16*, Aldila Tour Blue ATX, 65g, stiff
5W:          :ping-small: G400 SFT, set to 19*, Aldila Tour Blue ATX, 65g, stiff
7W:         :ping-small: G410 SFT, set to 22*. Alta CB 65 Red, stiff

Irons:       :ping-small: GMax, Green Dot, 5-PW, Project X Graphite Blue 6.0, 80-90g , stiff
Wedges: :ping-small: Glide 2.0 Stealth, 50* SS, 54* ES & 60*/8 Forged MGS Special from the Wedge Wizard, Green Dot, Alta CB graphite, 84g, stiff
Putter:     :ping-small: Vault 2.0 B60 Copper, 33", black dot w/GP SNSR grip (PING Sigma 2 Fetch under "see-trials")
Ball:       :Snell: MTB BLACK (MGS Official 2018 Tester for the :Snell: MTB RED)
Shoes:     :footjoy-small:  Classics Tour w/Black Widow Softspikes

Disabled Marine Veteran. Semper Fi!

#No apologies, just Play Your Best
#Powertotheplayers

 

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There are also some of the classics:

A bud spends excessive amounts of time looking for his ball:    Have you ever thought of bowling, I don't think even you could lose a bowling ball. 

A bud seems to be able to often find the water:   Personally, I think its better to lie in green pastures as opposed to still waters.

After a round in the 19th hole, tell a bud:   My objective is to someday shoot my age, not my weight. 

 

Edited by TheWahoo
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7 minutes ago, TheWahoo said:

There are also some of the classics:

A bud spends excessive amounts of time looking for his ball:    Have you ever thought of bowling, I don't think even you could lose a bowling ball. 

A bud seems to be able to often find the water:   Personally, I think its better to lie in green pastures as opposed to still waters.

After a round in the 19th hole, tell a bud:   My objective is to someday shoot my age, not my weight. 

Or:  Are you Dyslexic, we were play Golf not Flog.

Just for the record, I can and have lost a bowling ball. 

Edited by GB13
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Wilson Staff C300 9.0* Fujikura Pro 58 stiff

Callaway Rogue 3W Mitsubishi Diamana D+ LTD 80 stiff

Mizuno MP-18 MMC FLI-HI 2 iron UST Mamiya Recoil 95 stiff

Ping I200's 4-W Aerotech Steelfiber I110 CW stiff

Ping Glide 52* and 58* stiff

Bettinardi Studio Stock #38 Armlock

 

 

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5' putt blasted 10' past and missed the line a foot high.... "How'd that not go in?"

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Driver: :taylormade-small: SLDR w/ Fujikura Ventus Black

3w: :taylormade-small:'16 M2 hl w/ Diamana D+ 82

5w: :cleveland-small: Launcher HB w/ HZRDUS Yellow

Hybrid: :cleveland-small: 22 deg. Launcher HB w/ HZRDUS Black

Irons: :cleveland-small: 5i - gap Launcher CBX w/ Nippon Modus 3 125

Wedges: :cleveland-small: 54 CBX & 58 Zipcore w/ Nippon Modus 3 125

Putter: :odyssey-small: Red 7s

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I played with a guy that had a MASSIVE LOW SNAP HOOK on all drives.

Each drive he'd shout "did you see the wind take that..."

 

funny the first 3 times but lost it's appeal after another 5 minutes in the trees looking for it...again🙄

Edited by perseveringgolfer
  • Like 4

Driver     Awaiting NEW Driver (after 10 yrs)  
4 Wood   Callaway Big Bertha Steelhead plus 4+  :callaway-small: Callaway shaft in 'Firm' flex

Hybrid     Titleist 910H 19*    :titelist-small:   Diamana ahina 'flower' shaft in 'S'

Irons         Mizuno MP18SC 4-PW   :mizuno-small:  N.S Pro Modus3 Tour 105 in 'S'

Wedges    Callaway Mack Daddy forged in black 50* and 54*  :callaway-small:   KBS Tour in 'R'

Putter        'YES' Tracy 11 C groove 34.5"

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