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Favorite Golf Snarks?


fixyurdivot

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"Got your putter caught in your skirt?"  I've always enjoyed hearing new ones over the years playing with various folks.  What is your favorite?

:ping-small: G410 Plus, 9 Degree Driver 

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 16 Degree 3w

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 19 Degree 5w

:srixon-small:  ZX5 Irons 4-AW 

:ping-small: Glide 2.0 56 Degree SW   (removed from double secret probation 😍)

:EVNROLL: ER5v Putter  (Evnroll ER5v Official Review)

:odyssey-small: AI-One Milled Seven T CH (Currently Under Product Test)

 

 

 

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First time playing in Canada a friend quipped to me after a duffed chip "does your husband also play golf" 😉

I know it's an old one now but it had me in stitches at the time.

Driver     Awaiting NEW Driver (after 10 yrs)  
4 Wood   Callaway Big Bertha Steelhead plus 4+  :callaway-small: Callaway shaft in 'Firm' flex

Hybrid     Titleist 910H 19*    :titelist-small:   Diamana ahina 'flower' shaft in 'S'

Irons         Mizuno MP18SC 4-PW   :mizuno-small:  N.S Pro Modus3 Tour 105 in 'S'

Wedges    Callaway Mack Daddy forged in black 50* and 54*  :callaway-small:   KBS Tour in 'R'

Putter        'YES' Tracy 11 C groove 34.5"

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When I bomb one past someone I go with:
“Did you hear about that new Walmart they are building?”

No where is it?

“Between my ball and yours!”

This is a favorite that I’ll never forget the faces on my dad and uncles face when I hit each of them with it


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<p>Knoxville, TN 8 Hdcp PXG 0811  10.59deg loft Ping G25 3 wood Titleist 2i rescue Ping I irons +1 upright Vokey Sm5 52, 56, OdysseyRed 2Ball Fang with 1.0 super stroke</p>

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While well intended, I have heard:  You don't play bad for someone your age.

When a bud hits the green but a ways from the pin: You're dancing but its a long song with an ugly woman; or, you're dancing but you might not be able to hear the band.

When a bud is getting frustrated:  Remember its called golf because all the other four letter words were taken.

When a bud can't seem to make a putt from any length:   Hopefully, your wife ain't horney tonight.

 

 

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A couple, with explanations.  One of our regular players was ALWAYS positive about every shot, even clearly awful ones.  A ball headed high over the OB fence, Fred is saying "great swing!".  That usually caused some type of angry response, mostly unprintable words.  We now call the compliment for a clearly awful shot "Fredding" the player.  

The other started on a trip to Palm Springs a year or two ago.   My wife and I and two other friends are playing, and Rick's non-golfer wife is along with us for the ride,  which is pretty common for her My friend Rick, a really solid player,  was having a really tough day, hitting a bunch of bunkers and really struggling with the sand shots.  Finally, he hit a nice one, and Lisa says "That was a good shot....for you".  So now we bring that phrase out a couple of times every round, "that was a good shot.....for you".

:titleist-small: Irons Titleist T200, AMT Red stiff

:callaway-small:Rogue SubZero, GD YS-Six X

:mizuno-small: T22 54 and 58 wedges

:mizuno-small: 7-wood

:Sub70: 5-wood

 B60 G5i putter

Right handed

Reston, Virginia

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That was one hell of a shot....from there.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

WITB 2024

   Qi10 LS 9* HZRDUS RDX Smoke Blue 60g 6.5

   M5 15* Evenflow Black 75g 6.5

   Sim Ti 22* HZRDUS Red 75g 6.5

   Sim2 Rescue 22* Diamana Thump 100x

   X Forged CB 5 - PW MMT 105 TX 

   Jaws Raw 50*, 54* & 58* TTDG "OG" Spinner

   Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34.75"

   Z Star Diamond

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And one that got under my skin a bit. Played with a high handicap at my club and I shot -4 67. After the round he told me it was a good round but could have been great, I made way to many routine pars. My response was fantastic 102 that you chucked up there today.

Heck I made 4 birds and 14 pars for a clean card. He started the day with a quad and followed it with a triple from the middle of the fairway with a 9 iron.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

WITB 2024

   Qi10 LS 9* HZRDUS RDX Smoke Blue 60g 6.5

   M5 15* Evenflow Black 75g 6.5

   Sim Ti 22* HZRDUS Red 75g 6.5

   Sim2 Rescue 22* Diamana Thump 100x

   X Forged CB 5 - PW MMT 105 TX 

   Jaws Raw 50*, 54* & 58* TTDG "OG" Spinner

   Toulon Madison BGT Fire 34.75"

   Z Star Diamond

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After hitting a putt way short one of my buddies will hit you with “be careful walking to your ball, wouldn’t want you to trip on your tampon string”


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy

 

 

:callaway-small: XR Driver Matrix Ozik 8m3 Black Tie Shaft

:cobra-small: King F7 3W UST Mamiya Chrome Elements 7F4 Shaft

:cobra-small: King F7 5W UST Mamiya Chrome Elements 7F4 Shaft

:cobra-small: King F7 4 Hybrid Graphite Designs Tour AD-HY 95 Shaft

PXG 0211 DC 5-PW Mitsubishi MMT 80 Shafts

:cleveland-small: RTX ZIPCORE 50*,54*,58* UST Mamiya Recoil 95 Shafts

:odyssey-small: Metal X Milled #7 with SuperStroke 2.0 grip

:Snell: MTB

 

 



Twitter: @timldotson
Instagram: timldotson
Facebook: TimDotson

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9 hours ago, TBT said:

After hitting a putt way short one of my buddies will hit you with “be careful walking to your ball, wouldn’t want you to trip on your tampon string”


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy

That's HARSH man.

In the bag:
Driver: :titelist-small: TSR2 Project X HZRDUS Black 5.5
Fairway: :callaway-small: Apex UW 19° & 21° Project X HZRDUS Smoke RDX Black 5.5

Irons: :mizuno-small: JPX 923 HMP 5-PW UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Wedges: :mizuno-small: T-22 Denim Copper 48°, 52° & 56° UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Putter :Sub70: Sycamore 005 Wide Blade
Bag: 
:Ogio: Alpha Convoy 514
Balls: :callaway-small: Chrome Soft X

Cart: :CaddyTek: CaddyLite ONE Ver. 8


God Bless America🇺🇸, God save the King🇬🇧, God defend New Zealand🇳🇿 and thank Christ for Australia🇦🇺!

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"Did that putter come with instructions?"

:ping-small: G410 Plus, 9 Degree Driver 

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 16 Degree 3w

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 19 Degree 5w

:srixon-small:  ZX5 Irons 4-AW 

:ping-small: Glide 2.0 56 Degree SW   (removed from double secret probation 😍)

:EVNROLL: ER5v Putter  (Evnroll ER5v Official Review)

:odyssey-small: AI-One Milled Seven T CH (Currently Under Product Test)

 

 

 

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"Oh, it opens up over there" after the slice into the brush

or

"That's playable..." after knocking it off a tree backwards

even

"Nice lay-up Mary" after a chunk

In my       :ping-small: DLX Cart Bag:
Driver
:    :ping-small: G410 SFT, set to 9.5*, Mitsubishi Tensei CK Orange 60, stiff (MGS Official 2019 Tester)
3W:          :ping-small: G-Series SF TEC, set to 16*, Aldila Tour Blue ATX, 65g, stiff
5W:          :ping-small: G400 SFT, set to 19*, Aldila Tour Blue ATX, 65g, stiff
7W:         :ping-small: G410 SFT, set to 22*. Alta CB 65 Red, stiff

Irons:       :ping-small: GMax, Green Dot, 5-PW, Project X Graphite Blue 6.0, 80-90g , stiff
Wedges: :ping-small: Glide 2.0 Stealth, 50* SS, 54* ES & 60*/8 Forged MGS Special from the Wedge Wizard, Green Dot, Alta CB graphite, 84g, stiff
Putter:     :ping-small: Vault 2.0 B60 Copper, 33", black dot w/GP SNSR grip (PING Sigma 2 Fetch under "see-trials")
Ball:       :Snell: MTB BLACK (MGS Official 2018 Tester for the :Snell: MTB RED)
Shoes:     :footjoy-small:  Classics Tour w/Black Widow Softspikes

Disabled Marine Veteran. Semper Fi!

#No apologies, just Play Your Best
#Powertotheplayers

 

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"How much did you say you paid for that driver?"

:ping-small: G410 Plus, 9 Degree Driver 

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 16 Degree 3w

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 19 Degree 5w

:srixon-small:  ZX5 Irons 4-AW 

:ping-small: Glide 2.0 56 Degree SW   (removed from double secret probation 😍)

:EVNROLL: ER5v Putter  (Evnroll ER5v Official Review)

:odyssey-small: AI-One Milled Seven T CH (Currently Under Product Test)

 

 

 

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There are also some of the classics:

A bud spends excessive amounts of time looking for his ball:    Have you ever thought of bowling, I don't think even you could lose a bowling ball. 

A bud seems to be able to often find the water:   Personally, I think its better to lie in green pastures as opposed to still waters.

After a round in the 19th hole, tell a bud:   My objective is to someday shoot my age, not my weight. 

 

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7 minutes ago, TheWahoo said:

There are also some of the classics:

A bud spends excessive amounts of time looking for his ball:    Have you ever thought of bowling, I don't think even you could lose a bowling ball. 

A bud seems to be able to often find the water:   Personally, I think its better to lie in green pastures as opposed to still waters.

After a round in the 19th hole, tell a bud:   My objective is to someday shoot my age, not my weight. 

Or:  Are you Dyslexic, we were play Golf not Flog.

Just for the record, I can and have lost a bowling ball. 

Wilson Staff C300 9.0* Fujikura Pro 58 stiff

Callaway Rogue 3W Mitsubishi Diamana D+ LTD 80 stiff

Mizuno MP-18 MMC FLI-HI 2 iron UST Mamiya Recoil 95 stiff

Ping I200's 4-W Aerotech Steelfiber I110 CW stiff

Ping Glide 52* and 58* stiff

Bettinardi Studio Stock #38 Armlock

 

 

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5' putt blasted 10' past and missed the line a foot high.... "How'd that not go in?"

Driver: :taylormade-small: SLDR w/ Fujikura Ventus Black

3w: :taylormade-small:'16 M2 hl w/ Diamana D+ 82

5w: :cleveland-small: Launcher HB w/ HZRDUS Yellow

Hybrid: :cleveland-small: 22 deg. Launcher HB w/ HZRDUS Black

Irons: :cleveland-small: 5i - gap Launcher CBX w/ Nippon Modus 3 125

Wedges: :cleveland-small: 54 CBX & 58 Zipcore w/ Nippon Modus 3 125

Putter: :odyssey-small: Red 7s

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I played with a guy that had a MASSIVE LOW SNAP HOOK on all drives.

Each drive he'd shout "did you see the wind take that..."

 

funny the first 3 times but lost it's appeal after another 5 minutes in the trees looking for it...again🙄

Driver     Awaiting NEW Driver (after 10 yrs)  
4 Wood   Callaway Big Bertha Steelhead plus 4+  :callaway-small: Callaway shaft in 'Firm' flex

Hybrid     Titleist 910H 19*    :titelist-small:   Diamana ahina 'flower' shaft in 'S'

Irons         Mizuno MP18SC 4-PW   :mizuno-small:  N.S Pro Modus3 Tour 105 in 'S'

Wedges    Callaway Mack Daddy forged in black 50* and 54*  :callaway-small:   KBS Tour in 'R'

Putter        'YES' Tracy 11 C groove 34.5"

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Hit a worm burner...just keeping that low, under the wind.

In the bag:
Driver: :titelist-small: TSR2 Project X HZRDUS Black 5.5
Fairway: :callaway-small: Apex UW 19° & 21° Project X HZRDUS Smoke RDX Black 5.5

Irons: :mizuno-small: JPX 923 HMP 5-PW UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Wedges: :mizuno-small: T-22 Denim Copper 48°, 52° & 56° UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Putter :Sub70: Sycamore 005 Wide Blade
Bag: 
:Ogio: Alpha Convoy 514
Balls: :callaway-small: Chrome Soft X

Cart: :CaddyTek: CaddyLite ONE Ver. 8


God Bless America🇺🇸, God save the King🇬🇧, God defend New Zealand🇳🇿 and thank Christ for Australia🇦🇺!

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My other favorite is more self depreciating.  Can only be used once, maybe twice, per round or it gets old real quick.

It's best in a circumstance where it should be a relatively easy shot and you should be able to get it close.  However you brain fart and end up jacking it nowhere near the hole.  As the ball is moving shout "GO IN!!"

Driver: :taylormade-small: SLDR w/ Fujikura Ventus Black

3w: :taylormade-small:'16 M2 hl w/ Diamana D+ 82

5w: :cleveland-small: Launcher HB w/ HZRDUS Yellow

Hybrid: :cleveland-small: 22 deg. Launcher HB w/ HZRDUS Black

Irons: :cleveland-small: 5i - gap Launcher CBX w/ Nippon Modus 3 125

Wedges: :cleveland-small: 54 CBX & 58 Zipcore w/ Nippon Modus 3 125

Putter: :odyssey-small: Red 7s

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12 hours ago, hckymeyer said:

My other favorite is more self depreciating.  Can only be used once, maybe twice, per round or it gets old real quick.

It's best in a circumstance where it should be a relatively easy shot and you should be able to get it close.  However you brain fart and end up jacking it nowhere near the hole.  As the ball is moving shout "GO IN!!"

I like this one...

ill need to wait for the utmost opportunity of one of my friends duck hooks

 

:titleist-small: TSr2 on tensi blue stiff

:cobra-small: Speedzone 3-wood on Tensi blue S

:callaway-logo-1: Epic Max 5 and 7 woods on HZRDUS  Reg flex

:callaway-logo-1: Paradym 9 wood on HZRDUS reg flex

:taylormade-small: P770 / P790 combo set on Ventus R-6 shafts 6-AW

:mizuno-small:  T22 Denim Copper 54°, 58° on Kinetic X Trajectory 

:EVNROLL: ER3 or,

:edel-golf-1: E.A.S. #4   (“Fang” or “Adele”)
 

:titelist-small: ProV1x, or, Maxfli Tour X

:callaway-small: .Org 14 cart bag

Adidas Tour 360 , or Sketcher shoes

 

 

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My favorite response to a particularly poignant ribbing from a playing partner: “Be nice, this is my first time on a big course”

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

 

 

:cobra-small:______S9-1 Pro D - Matrix Ozik XCON 6 S
:cobra-small:______S9-1 Pro 15* - Matrix Ozik XCON 7 S
:nickent-small:________3DX 17* - Matrix Ozik Altus Hybrid SG
:Hogan:______ICON Black 4-PW - KBS Tour V S
:cleveland-small:__________588 RTG 49  RTX 52.10  56.12 - DG S400
BobbyGrace.png.1dc40002fcec0eee8603b71b3e706e89.png______Amazing Grace NYC Tour CS
:taylormade-small:_______'19 TP5X
(the preceding have all been gamer approved)

"The most important shot in golf is the next one“ - Ben Hogan

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When a buddy hits a thin worm-burner..... “Yeeeahh STINGER!”


Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

Driver-    Callaway GBB Epic 9.5 Aldila Rouge Max 75X 

3 Wood- Callaway GBB Epic 15 Aldila Rouge Max 85X

Hybrid-   Callaway GBB Epic 19 UST Recoil F4

Irons-      Callaway CF Apex 16'  4-PW S300

Wedges- Titleist SM6 GW/SW/LW S300

Putter-    Ping Anser Sigma G w/ Superstroke Pistol GT 2.0

Ball-        Bridgestone B330/ TaylorMade TP4/ Titleist ProV1

Grips-     Golf Pride MCC Plus 4 Grey

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3 hours ago, TheWahoo said:

If one would like an alternative descriptive term for "worm burner", may I suggest "snake raper".  

I also have a different one, but being a family forum and not wanting to push too many boundaries, I'll keep that one to the golf course.

In the bag:
Driver: :titelist-small: TSR2 Project X HZRDUS Black 5.5
Fairway: :callaway-small: Apex UW 19° & 21° Project X HZRDUS Smoke RDX Black 5.5

Irons: :mizuno-small: JPX 923 HMP 5-PW UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Wedges: :mizuno-small: T-22 Denim Copper 48°, 52° & 56° UST Mamiya Recoil 95 F4
Putter :Sub70: Sycamore 005 Wide Blade
Bag: 
:Ogio: Alpha Convoy 514
Balls: :callaway-small: Chrome Soft X

Cart: :CaddyTek: CaddyLite ONE Ver. 8


God Bless America🇺🇸, God save the King🇬🇧, God defend New Zealand🇳🇿 and thank Christ for Australia🇦🇺!

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  • 1 month later...

"I can't believe that didn't make it through (the tree), they're 90% air you know"

:ping-small: G410 Plus, 9 Degree Driver 

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 16 Degree 3w

:ping-small: G400 SFT, 19 Degree 5w

:srixon-small:  ZX5 Irons 4-AW 

:ping-small: Glide 2.0 56 Degree SW   (removed from double secret probation 😍)

:EVNROLL: ER5v Putter  (Evnroll ER5v Official Review)

:odyssey-small: AI-One Milled Seven T CH (Currently Under Product Test)

 

 

 

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