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Favorite Golf Snarks?

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My other favorite is more self depreciating.  Can only be used once, maybe twice, per round or it gets old real quick.

It's best in a circumstance where it should be a relatively easy shot and you should be able to get it close.  However you brain fart and end up jacking it nowhere near the hole.  As the ball is moving shout "GO IN!!"

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12 hours ago, hckymeyer said:

My other favorite is more self depreciating.  Can only be used once, maybe twice, per round or it gets old real quick.

It's best in a circumstance where it should be a relatively easy shot and you should be able to get it close.  However you brain fart and end up jacking it nowhere near the hole.  As the ball is moving shout "GO IN!!"

I like this one...

ill need to wait for the utmost opportunity of one of my friends duck hooks

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When someone hits a short drive or doesn’t get it to the green on an approach shot or par 3 I always ask “ so does your boyfriend play”

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My favorite response to a particularly poignant ribbing from a playing partner: “Be nice, this is my first time on a big course”

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy

 

 

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On 11/30/2018 at 7:22 AM, MattF said:

Hit a worm burner...just keeping that low, under the wind.

If one would like an alternative descriptive term for "worm burner", may I suggest "snake raper".  

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3 hours ago, TheWahoo said:

If one would like an alternative descriptive term for "worm burner", may I suggest "snake raper".  

I also have a different one, but being a family forum and not wanting to push too many boundaries, I'll keep that one to the golf course.

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Here's one we use when someone hit a short drive. " Well your that will make your approach a little harder". 

After someone bombs a great drive and then craps the bed.. " That was a hell of a Drive"... 

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My other favorite is more self depreciating.  Can only be used once, maybe twice, per round or it gets old real quick.
It's best in a circumstance where it should be a relatively easy shot and you should be able to get it close.  However you brain fart and end up jacking it nowhere near the hole.  As the ball is moving shout "GO IN!!"
Similarly, my buds and I will always yell "GET THERE!!!" after a duff with no chance of getting there.

Also, "Forgot to put your purse down first" on short putts.

Finally, "You'll have to go to Narnia to find that ball" when a shot goes way into the trees.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using MyGolfSpy mobile app

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- Buddy hits a worm burner: “Smart move keeping it under the wind.”
- “Dead Sheep/Still ewe“ “You’re still away.” (No matter how it is said, that one hurts on the receiving end)
- “You really cranked that one............ into the trees.”
- “Nice shot. That was like my drive.... only shorter.”


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy

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The son-in-law: Not quite what you had in mind.


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy

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For those putts that just lip out but not quite in the hole, one of my favorites is "daddy walk in?"  Whenever you hit one in the bunker, my dad always liked to say "No hunnies on that beach today boy."

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A group of women were looking to potentially join our club about a decade ago.  The GM and I showed them around and played 18 holes with them.  One lady left a putt short, stuck her putter up to her face and said "dammit Earl, I need 8 and you only have 5 to offer." 

I'm not sure I've ever laughed s hard in my life!  That was truthfully some of the most fun I've ever had on a golf course.  Those lady's were awesome.  They joined as non-residents but I haven't seen them in quite a few years. 

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Your partner sends a putt past the hole - mumble “USGA.”

 

When they look at you funny, tell them “You Suck Go Again.”

 

 

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When your partner is having a hilariously horrible day and the beer cart comes by, ask “Do you sell tampons? He needs to stop the bleeding.”

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