Anger management on the course

[tony@CIC]

This was a pretty funny story, especially the caption "the only time the guy missed the water"...https://www.golf.com/news/2019/10/21/angry-golfer-temper-tantrum-video/

I've never seen any real anger issues on the course  - what's the worst you've seen? 

 

[Mariannewhite]

Oh... How just the guys play near him?? It becomes dangerous...

[PlaidJacket]

Haaa. I think it was a staged event. Only one bag on the cart and someone conveniently nearby to film it. Still kind of funny.

I was playing with a guy two weeks ago and he snapped his 7i. LOL

[russtopherb]

Watched a guy just demolish the side of a green after whiffing on a chip. Probably took 3 feet worth of sod out of the ground.

I was playing in a foursome with some friends, one of them duffed a hybrid shot and proceeded to just slam it over and over into the ground to the point where he missed hitting another member of the foursome in the face with sod by about 6 inches.

Never played with either of them again.

[bens197]

I have no problem asking if they want a Kleenex after throwing a fit. It’s a gut check and they know they’re wrong.

 

I get one of two responses. The one I can say here is in essence, “I know I know.”

 

The other is for your own imagination but it involves me doing something to myself.

 

 

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[Kenny B]

Maybe 10 years ago my wife and I were playing at our old course... a 9-hole exec with trashy golf carts that we lovingly referred to as the dog track. Actually it's more of a goat field because... well, it was a goat field.  The pro had just gotten a "new" trashy golf cart.  It was the best one in his "fleet", and we had it.  My wife was just off the #5 green and chipping with her 9i (I know this because she always chipped with her 9i).  She bladed the ball across the green and threw her 9i.  Knowing that she should always throw the club in the direction of the cart so she doesn't have to walk extra distance to get it, she landed the 9i short of the cart where it bounced off the ground and put a hole in the fender above the rear wheel.  Well, now the "new" trashy cart looked just like the old trashy carts.

I have never seen her throw a club since.

[MattF]

I've seen quite a few clubs fly and have been guilty of it myself, but looking like a baby doesn't sit well with me, so I laugh now.

Played with a guy a couple of weeks ago that on just about every shot would berate himself...mate, if you think you suck that bad, take up reading or something.

[Mr. 82]

I used to have anger issues.

[StrokerAce]

never ceases to amaze me - golf isn't a cheap pastime... not like hiking or reading.... it takes a good bit of time and - more importantly - it's not cheap to play.

so why would someone pay a not insignificant amount of money to be angry for 4-5 hours ??

what other activity in the entire world would someone do that for?  I can't think of anything....

don't get me wrong.... I hit one in the woods and I'm frustrated but I remind myself: It's just golf..... 

One of the reasons I prefer to walk whenever possible - you can walk off your frustration, get away from the negative energy of those around you, close your eyes and enjoy nature, breathe, relax.... there will be another shot, another round, another day -- it's just golf.

[silver & black]

Golf is the most fun you can have being aggravated to death.

[Mr. 82]

3 hours ago, GolfSpy Stroker said:

never ceases to amaze me - golf isn't a cheap pastime... not like hiking or reading.... it takes a good bit of time and - more importantly - it's not cheap to play.

so why would someone pay a not insignificant amount of money to be angry for 4-5 hours ??

what other activity in the entire world would someone do that for?  I can't think of anything....

don't get me wrong.... I hit one in the woods and I'm frustrated but I remind myself: It's just golf..... 

One of the reasons I prefer to walk whenever possible - you can walk off your frustration, get away from the negative energy of those around you, close your eyes and enjoy nature, breathe, relax.... there will be another shot, another round, another day -- it's just golf.

Because I don't like to lose.  No matter the sport, I am competitive.  It's the same reason you see athletes in other sports explode, even at the professional level.  Remember when Rory hurled a club into a lake?  There you go.

[StrokerAce]

IMHO: As soon as you get paid to play golf and it is your livelihood you can "explode" on the course.... until then remember you're paying to play, they're not paying you to play.

 

[fixyurdivot]

19 hours ago, tony@CIC said:

I've never seen any real anger issues on the course  - what's the worst you've seen? 

Likewise, I've not seen any really bad scenes.  While playing on a Boeing league a couple decades ago, one of the guys tended to be a bit hot headed; often tossing clubs or slamming them into the bag. One round he swung an iron into the side of his bag and it started bleeding purple - he had punched a hole right through his large Gatorade bottle that he filled with some grape juice concoction. It was a white colored golf bag.  We tried best we could not to laugh out loud, but the sight of the big purple splotch and stuff dripping out the bottom was simply too much.  

 

[Kenny B]

3 hours ago, fixyurdivot said:

Likewise, I've not seen any really bad scenes.  While playing on a Boeing league a couple decades ago, one of the guys tended to be a bit hot headed; often tossing clubs or slamming them into the bag. One round he swung an iron into the side of his bag and it started bleeding purple - he had punched a hole right through his large Gatorade bottle that he filled with some grape juice concoction. It was a white colored golf bag.  We tried best we could not to laugh out loud, but the sight of the big purple splotch and stuff dripping out the bottom was simply too much.  

Being from Boeing, there's a good chance that he was UW and the color would fit right in.  

[fixyurdivot]

1 hour ago, Kenny B said:

Being from Boeing, there's a good chance that he was UW and the color would fit right in.  

High probability of that.  I'd estimate 40% UW, 25% WSU, and the rest of us from somewhere else. The WSU grads were much less obnoxious about their football team.  Oh they lived and breathed them to the same level, just MUCH less obnoxious. I still have many friends from both colleges and zazz them frequently .

[silver & black]

Everyone that plays this game gets angry..... even if you won't admit it. We all suck to some degree or another compared to the pros.... or even those that are vastly better than us. I gave up being the angry ******* on the course  many years ago. I have a lot more fun because of it. Those of you that don't drink while you play..... give it a shot: you might find your rounds more enjoyable. 

 

 

so.... you can'r write a...s....s...hole??????

Edited October 23, 2019 by silver & black

[GB13]

9 hours ago, GSwag said:

Because I don't like to lose.  No matter the sport, I am competitive.  It's the same reason you see athletes in other sports explode, even at the professional level.  Remember when Rory hurled a club into a lake?  There you go.

I had a few “questionable” moments on the course, and this ^^ is exactly the reason why. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, I’m very competitive and work pretty hard at it. Part of the time, it’s because I’m frustrated that it doesn’t seem like my practice is paying off at all, and the other half is wanting to always do better. That said, one of my main goals this year, has been to channel the frustration into more competitive drive, and use it to help me play better, instead of getting angry and playing worse. It’s been a really interesting learning experience, on how to manage my emotions and turn negatives into positives. It’s made my rounds more enjoyable, made my scores lower, and makes people around me say, “he was a pleasure to play with”, not “wow, what an *******, never want to see him again!” 

[bluesmandan76]

I knew a guy who got mad and threw his hole bag of clubs into a lake.

Later he went swimming.


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[perseveringgolfer]

cant stand playing with people who get seriously angry at their game- ruins the round for everyone else as you walk on eggshells around them.

Unfortunately you don't know until you start playing what their attitude will be, but some I've discovered on my course means I never play with them again. I witnessed one 'tough guy' threaten to bury someone who was inadvertently jiggling coins in his pocket, he also said in a menacing tone to another player "if I see you out the corner of my eye once more we will have words". That guy eventually, a few months later, assaulted a player for speaking while he was playing his shot.

Leopards don't change their spots and these people are best avoided at all times.

[MattF]

10 hours ago, silver & black said:

so.... you can'r write a...s....s...hole??????

You can if you spell it the correct way...

[palvord]

I used to have a temper on the course because my expectations did not match my reality. I have only thrown a club one time, and most of my outbursts were just some swearing loudly. Thankfully, I have changed my reactions on the course, and not surprisingly, I play much better when I am in control of my emotions.

The best outburst that I have seen on the course was when someone was playing tennis with their chip shots. Back to back to back to back skulls across the green.  Walking to his ball after the 4th time, he grabbed the flag as he walked by and hurled it like a javelin into the woods. It probably didn't help his temper that our group just laughed at him, but we were entertained.

[StrokerAce]

12 hours ago, GB13 said:

I had a few “questionable” moments on the course, and this ^^ is exactly the reason why. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, I’m very competitive and work pretty hard at it. Part of the time, it’s because I’m frustrated that it doesn’t seem like my practice is paying off at all, and the other half is wanting to always do better. That said, one of my main goals this year, has been to channel the frustration into more competitive drive, and use it to help me play better, instead of getting angry and playing worse. It’s been a really interesting learning experience, on how to manage my emotions and turn negatives into positives. It’s made my rounds more enjoyable, made my scores lower, and makes people around me say, “he was a pleasure to play with”, not “wow, what an *******, never want to see him again!” 

I don't watch a lot of golf on TV but a fair amount and one thing I'm always looking at is how pros react when they hit a bad shot - and even more importantly - how they handle the next shot.... 

Of course there are those rare instances when clubs get snapped or thrown but those are few and far between; it seems that - for the most part - they internalize it....realize it's just one shot and move on.  I don't mean to minimize it; these guys are playing for a paycheck and it must kill them but they can either make a bad situation worse or realize that it's just a mistake, that mistakes happen, that not every shot is going to be perfect and to move forward.  And these guys are as competitive as they come....

It's hard ... I agree ... I'm 47 and I still play hoops weekly, and have been since I was 12, and some people ask why and it's because I love to compete... and I still get upset when my team loses a pick up game to 15... but I learned long ago that it's better to do just what @GB13 said and use that frustration as a source for good rather than bad.

At the end of the day you'll still be putting the clubs away and heading home...hopefully with all of your clubs in one piece. 

 

[Brian A]

Im competitive with myself, I know what I am capable of doing on the course, when I'm having a rough round I will definitely get angry, however two things I always remember to calm me down 1) clubs are expensive, so don't throw them because they can break. 2) my instructor yelled at me the one day I got mad in a lesson for having an extraordinary bad lesson. He goes what gives you the right, have you hit 500 balls already today and 1,000 more yesterday? I said no, he said then you don't deserve to be angry unless you're practicing like the pros, you cant expect to be as good.    

[GolfSpy MPR]

I've posted this in other threads: nothing shows me how I need to control my reactions on the course like seeing the same poor reactions in my son. I've had to apologize to him a number of times this season for dropping (not throwing) my club after a poor shot. We try to help each other on this.

[revkev]

I used to have anger issues.

 

Me as well - threw a sand wedge high up into a tree and a putter into quick sand when I was a kid.

 

Today I use golf as a stress release, if I’m playing with two or three select people and have life stuff going on I can still have an episode - It’s the way that I scream into a pillow. It never, ever happens anywhere near anyone else.

 

There’s my confession for the day. Not a chance My Mr. Hyde would come out if you were to play with me.

 

I play some with a couple of guys who always struggle with their temper. Each has unrealistic expectations about his game. One of them has damaged two of my clubs when hitting a shot to “give them a try” - Before you call me stupid the events were 30 years apart, at least.

 

He’s coming down in a few weeks - I may not bring my new Ping woods when we play. :)

 

 

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[MattF]

2 minutes ago, revkev said:

One of them has damaged two of my clubs when hitting a shot to “give them a try” - Before you call me stupid the events were 30 years apart, at least.

He’s coming down in a few weeks - I may not bring my new Ping woods when we play.

I wouldn't mate...leave them for me in March! 

[tony@CIC]

20 hours ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

I've posted this in other threads: nothing shows me how I need to control my reactions on the course like seeing the same poor reactions in my son.

Spot on - our kids are a mirror reflection of ourselves. 

[revkev]

20 hours ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

I've posted this in other threads: nothing shows me how I need to control my reactions on the course like seeing the same poor reactions in my son. I've had to apologize to him a number of times this season for dropping (not throwing) my club after a poor shot. We try to help each other on this.

I posted a confession about my temper on the course before I read this.  Playing with my sons was what got me under control.  They were a Godsend in many ways, almost as much as their sisters are.

[golfertrb]

I've posted this in other threads: nothing shows me how I need to control my reactions on the course like seeing the same poor reactions in my son. I've had to apologize to him a number of times this season for dropping (not throwing) my club after a poor shot. We try to help each other on this.

I used to have anger issues on the course myself - yelling, slamming a club in the ground, etc. Playing with my son(s) has changed that. There is nothing more disheartening as a parent than seeing behavior in your kids you don't like and realizing you modeled it for them. Do I still feel frustration on the golf course? Yes - just like in other areas of my life; and like other areas, I don't throw a fit because adults don't do that. Not to mention I have convictions that regulate my behavior. That's the first reason I don't allow myself to display my frustration on the golf course, and here is the second:

On May 29, 2008, I was playing a really solid round at Millwood Country Club in Springfield, MO until I came to a short par 4 on the front. Millwood is really tight that places a priority on finding the fairway. I was a couple under when I got this hole and I hit a good 4 iron leaving me inside 125 to the pin. The green is well protected with bunkers literally all around. I hit my wedge into the front left bunker and lost my ability to hit a decent shot. I went back and forth across the green from bunker to bunker to bunker followed by a two-putt for a 7. I was shell- shocked. I had been teaching my then 13 year old son the importance of being respectful on the course and how it's only a game and I thought "I need to take my own advice." I got myself together and when the score got tallied up I had put together a 68. That was a massive turning point in my game and my ability to hold it together when I'm struggling.

MPR - I appreciate the way you apologize to your kids when you get it wrong - that helps the both of you so much. My kids still talk about the times I apologized and what it meant to them which is always funny because all I can remember is what it did for me.


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