Raising a Golfer...Am I Doing it Right?

[GolfSpy AFG]

So these are my kids, 6, 5, and 3.  My daughter (the 3 year old) will start coming out with me every now and then, but for the past couple years now I have taken the boys with me for 9, sometimes 18 if they are up for it, and put a tee in the fairway about 120-150 yards out and let them go for it.  In between, they get to drive the cart while on my lap (I'm on the brake & throttle), I pack junk balls and let them blast them into water hazards, pack snacks they like, and do everything I can to keep it as fun as I can even if it means I'm not really playing.

My older boy shows genuine athletic ability; he's got a good swing for a 6 year old and seems to have really strong hand-eye coordination.  His younger brother is a little less interested and aggressive but does well too. 

So, I'm not trying to be Earl Woods and raise the next prodigy, but I do hope they grow to love the game, and I do hope to at least facilitate that they learn to play to their potential, whatever that might be.

Questions for anyone with junior golf teaching experience, or who "successfully" raised golfers...am I doing it right so far?

What I really struggle with is when to make technical inputs, especially with my oldest.  His wants to set his top hand incredibly weak so I try to coax him to something stronger, and he keeps setting up waaaay right of the target.  So, stance, grip...fundamental stuff.   Sound about right?

He also tends to swing out of his shoes sometimes to the point that he misses and nearly falls down, but when he makes contact he hits it pretty well.  I don't want to tell him to swing slower...everything I've read says to let kids hit it as far as they can and straighten them out later when they're older. 

Sorry, bit of a rambling post, but any insights or advice is appreciated.  (And when is a junior ready for lessons?)

[Nolan220]

I have a 6 year old daughter and my son is almost 4 and my son hits balls everyday either in the garage or back yard.. I try the same thing with stance and grip but i never push him just say hey try this and he usually tries it for 1 or 2 swings and then goes back to do what he normally does. My thing is as long as he is having fun then you are doing it right. I am not going push my kids into golf but I will steer them into that direction and let them choose. So i add a net and putting green and bought them clubs for their ages. Now my son wants to go to the driving range .. hes not even 4 .. So I said next time I go we will go once its open so its not packed and I would let him wack some balls around. I think @GolfSpy MPR has a young kid I see on twitter who swings it well hopefully he can help. 

[edteergolf]

13 minutes ago, Getoffmylawn said:

So these are my kids, 6, 5, and 3.  My daughter (the 3 year old) will start coming out with me every now and then, but for the past couple years now I have taken the boys with me for 9, sometimes 18 if they are up for it, and put a tee in the fairway about 120-150 yards out and let them go for it.  In between, they get to drive the cart while on my lap (I'm on the brake & throttle), I pack junk balls and let them blast them into water hazards, pack snacks they like, and do everything I can to keep it as fun as I can even if it means I'm not really playing.

My older boy shows genuine athletic ability; he's got a good swing for a 6 year old and seems to have really strong hand-eye coordination.  His younger brother is a little less interested and aggressive but does well too. 

So, I'm not trying to be Earl Woods and raise the next prodigy, but I do hope they grow to love the game, and I do hope to at least facilitate that they learn to play to their potential, whatever that might be.

Questions for anyone with junior golf teaching experience, or who "successfully" raised golfers...am I doing it right so far?

What I really struggle with is when to make technical inputs, especially with my oldest.  His wants to set his top hand incredibly weak so I try to coax him to something stronger, and he keeps setting up waaaay right of the target.  So, stance, grip...fundamental stuff.   Sound about right?

He also tends to swing out of his shoes sometimes to the point that he misses and nearly falls down, but when he makes contact he hits it pretty well.  I don't want to tell him to swing slower...everything I've read says to let kids hit it as far as they can and straighten them out later when they're older. 

Sorry, bit of a rambling post, but any insights or advice is appreciated.  (And when is a junior ready for lessons?)

You are doing fine.  Don't teach them - they won't listen to you because they are too busy watching you!  The time for group lessons is now.  They will learn socialization, how to be coached, how to watch, how to learn, the etiquette of the game, and the learning will be more fun than you coaching them.  As you said, it is about potential, when they recognize (your guidance) that they aren't improving any more than you might off the experience of a lesson.  They will either like or they won't.  I believe that junior golfers spend too much time in private lesson and too little time learning how to train and play in groups - supervised by a great coach.   Private lessons should be less frequent and related to the group system.  Playing golf drives learning as the pain points create the desire to improve.  Challenge them to ask questions when they are lost.  

[GolfSpy MPR]

24 minutes ago, Getoffmylawn said:

So these are my kids, 6, 5, and 3.  My daughter (the 3 year old) will start coming out with me every now and then, but for the past couple years now I have taken the boys with me for 9, sometimes 18 if they are up for it, and put a tee in the fairway about 120-150 yards out and let them go for it.  In between, they get to drive the cart while on my lap (I'm on the brake & throttle), I pack junk balls and let them blast them into water hazards, pack snacks they like, and do everything I can to keep it as fun as I can even if it means I'm not really playing.

My older boy shows genuine athletic ability; he's got a good swing for a 6 year old and seems to have really strong hand-eye coordination.  His younger brother is a little less interested and aggressive but does well too. 

So, I'm not trying to be Earl Woods and raise the next prodigy, but I do hope they grow to love the game, and I do hope to at least facilitate that they learn to play to their potential, whatever that might be.

Questions for anyone with junior golf teaching experience, or who "successfully" raised golfers...am I doing it right so far?

What I really struggle with is when to make technical inputs, especially with my oldest.  His wants to set his top hand incredibly weak so I try to coax him to something stronger, and he keeps setting up waaaay right of the target.  So, stance, grip...fundamental stuff.   Sound about right?

He also tends to swing out of his shoes sometimes to the point that he misses and nearly falls down, but when he makes contact he hits it pretty well.  I don't want to tell him to swing slower...everything I've read says to let kids hit it as far as they can and straighten them out later when they're older. 

Sorry, bit of a rambling post, but any insights or advice is appreciated.  (And when is a junior ready for lessons?)

Totally sounds like you've got the correct idea to me.

Here's where I start: in the NFL, you've got 32 teams that each have 53 roster spots. That's almost 1,700 guys getting paid to play football at the highest level of that sport.

On the PGA Tour, there are 125 guys with a full card. Playing golf for a living is nearly impossible. It's very likely that most of the guys in the OWGR top-500 could hang around at a PGA Tour event, and if everything breaks their way one week, grab a top-10 or a win. The book Tales From Q School is among the most emotional golf reads ever written, because you see these guys on the knife edge: one shot here or there totally changes the direction of their whole lives.

So that's all to say: go have fun. My son is a remarkably talented 7-year-old golfer (I say this this way because I deserve no credit for it; he's a natural athlete and I'm certainly not!). The fact that he's good at 7 relative to kids his age in no way means that he'll be good at 20 relative to young men his age.

So go out and have fun with your kids, just like you're doing. My inclination with Kirke is to give him very little technical instruction, but to focus on what the ball does. I challenge him to hit balls high and low, curving left and right. I'd rather have him figure the game out, thinking about targets, than to be like me always thinking about swing positions and technical fixes.

[bens197]

Are they having fun?  Do they want to keep playing? If the answer is yes then you are doing great. 
 

 

[Kanoito]

My daughter is almost 6 and takes lessons twice a week. I leave the fundamentals to the pro. I only focus on having a good time with her, hitting targets, play for candy, etc.

 

I would love it if she ends up playing golf with me, but I also let her try other sports such as tennis and basketball.

My focus is to create great memories with the kids.

[GolfSpy AFG]

23 minutes ago, edteergolf said:

You are doing fine.  Don't teach them - they won't listen to you because they are too busy watching you!  The time for group lessons is now.  They will learn socialization, how to be coached, how to watch, how to learn, the etiquette of the game, and the learning will be more fun than you coaching them.  As you said, it is about potential, when they recognize (your guidance) that they aren't improving any more than you might off the experience of a lesson.  They will either like or they won't.  I believe that junior golfers spend too much time in private lesson and too little time learning how to train and play in groups - supervised by a great coach.   Private lessons should be less frequent and related to the group system.  Playing golf drives learning as the pain points create the desire to improve.  Challenge them to ask questions when they are lost.  

Thank you sir.  I really appreciate you taking the time to chime in...I've read your posts on these forums with great interest.

I had my oldest in a nearby junior camp last year and he loved it.  I was VERY disappointed to have to cancel both the boys' enrollment in the First Tee this year, but the rules came out and they're going to require the kids to wear masks...there is no way my boys will enjoy that, especially in July.

Getting them into group lessons will be challenging in the next few years; being in the military and constantly moving makes that a bit difficult.  But I'll take heed of your emphasis on it.

[GolfSpy AFG]

9 minutes ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

So go out and have fun with your kids, just like you're doing. My inclination with Kirke is to give him very little technical instruction, but to focus on what the ball does. I challenge him to hit balls high and low, curving left and right. I'd rather have him figure the game out, thinking about targets, than to be like me always thinking about swing positions and technical fixes.

Thanks for the input.  You've certainly put things in perspective. 

Do you find your son is able to meet these challenges?  A 7-yr old shaping shots?!

[GolfSpy MPR]

2 minutes ago, Getoffmylawn said:

Thanks for the input.  You've certainly put things in perspective. 

Do you find your son is able to meet these challenges?  A 7-yr old shaping shots?!

Good question! To clarify: he can go back and forth hitting draws or cuts with his driver. We're not talking about carving irons into tucked pins

[GolfSpy AFG]

1 minute ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

Good question! To clarify: he can go back and forth hitting draws or cuts with his driver. We're not talking about carving irons into tucked pins

Still damn impressive

[GolfSpy AFG]

40 minutes ago, edteergolf said:

You are doing fine.  Don't teach them - they won't listen to you because they are too busy watching you!  The time for group lessons is now.  They will learn socialization, how to be coached, how to watch, how to learn, the etiquette of the game, and the learning will be more fun than you coaching them.  As you said, it is about potential, when they recognize (your guidance) that they aren't improving any more than you might off the experience of a lesson.  They will either like or they won't.  I believe that junior golfers spend too much time in private lesson and too little time learning how to train and play in groups - supervised by a great coach.   Private lessons should be less frequent and related to the group system.  Playing golf drives learning as the pain points create the desire to improve.  Challenge them to ask questions when they are lost.  

One quick follow up:  how do you recommend one can identify when it is time for one-on-one lessons with a teaching pro?  Is it a question of golf skill or emotional maturity to pay attention and be coached?

[edteergolf]

10 minutes ago, Getoffmylawn said:

One quick follow up:  how do you recommend one can identify when it is time for one-on-one lessons with a teaching pro?  Is it a question of golf skill or emotional maturity to pay attention and be coached?

Great question and probably many correct answers.  I don't believe it is about the time, but about learning how to ask for help when we don't meet our goals.  Humans are resistant to change for reason too many to write about in this forum.  Some of the reasons are good and some can cause big problems down the road in teams, groups, jobs, & relationships.  Guiding your kids to understand that it is ok to seek help and that the frustrations of learning new skills will be rewarded in the end. (path of learning) Asking for help is a great habit and one you can foster.  Obviously the level of guidance you provide should be appropriate to their age and development.  You know best for your kids.  

As part of lessons or coaching, I ask that the student/child communicate with me as often as possible so they learn to be proactive in their training.  Again according to their age & development.  I have a young boy who would text me from mom's phone when he was 8 and now at 12 he texts me in a group chat that includes his parents.  He asks me for a time and if his parents are available to take him. He drives the bus but also understands how involved his parents are in the journey.  

I know I'm guilty with my own kids of stepping in and doing too much taking away learning opportunities. 

[GolfSpy AFG]

2 minutes ago, edteergolf said:

Great question and probably many correct answers.  I don't believe it is about the time, but about learning how to ask for help when we don't meet our goals.  Humans are resistant to change for reason too many to write about in this forum.  Some of the reasons are good and some can cause big problems down the road in teams, groups, jobs, & relationships.  Guiding your kids to understand that it is ok to seek help and that the frustrations of learning new skills will be rewarded in the end. (path of learning) Asking for help is a great habit and one you can foster.  Obviously the level of guidance you provide should be appropriate to their age and development.  You know best for your kids.  

As part of lessons or coaching, I ask that the student/child communicate with me as often as possible so they learn to be proactive in their training.  Again according to their age & development.  I have a young boy who would text me from mom's phone when he was 8 and now at 12 he texts me in a group chat that includes his parents.  He asks me for a time and if his parents are available to take him. He drives the bus but also understands how involved his parents are in the journey.  

I know I'm guilty with my own kids of stepping in and doing too much taking away learning opportunities. 

Thanks again sir.

You make a great point about not trying to teach much because they learn by watching me.  I had a bit of learning experience last year with my oldest.  I didn't realize how much I was doing it, but every now and then if I hit a bad shot that was below my expectations, I'd let out a disappointed groan.  No throwing clubs or going on and on, just an audible groan of displeasure.  Sure enough, my son started groaning after every shot, just like me. 

Made me really stop and think, and realize I'm setting an example at all times, good or bad.

[heavygolffeels]

Took me a couple of years to learn to back off and just let them have fun. Let them ask you questions instead of interjecting into what they are doing, especially after every swing. That just frustrates them. Keep it to one thing if you absolutely feel inclined to step in. It's better to make a game out of any drill or lesson. 

[GolfSpy AFG]

Took me a couple of years to learn to back off and just let them have fun. Let them ask you questions instead of interjecting into what they are doing, especially after every swing. That just frustrates them. Keep it to one thing if you absolutely feel inclined to step in. It's better to make a game out of any drill or lesson. 

Thanks, appreciate it.

I think I’m doing okay so far. My oldest in particular is really taking to it. We just came back from 9 holes and he drained a big left to right downhill putt from 25...I’ve never seen him so excited.


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[PMookie]

Don’t worry about technique at all, and let them swing out of their shoes. My 9 year old swings directly across her body, but makes GREAT contact. All I’ve ever done with her is have her get her stance, then I pick her up and aim her to right field. Boom. Down the middle.

Grip isn’t important, all that matters is it becomes FUN. There was a company that made a backyard golf set that’s used by schools, that might be worth a shot.

All I would add is to teach them the etiquette about being quiet when others are swinging.

 

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[HeathS16]

So these are my kids, 6, 5, and 3.  My daughter (the 3 year old) will start coming out with me every now and then, but for the past couple years now I have taken the boys with me for 9, sometimes 18 if they are up for it, and put a tee in the fairway about 120-150 yards out and let them go for it.  In between, they get to drive the cart while on my lap (I'm on the brake & throttle), I pack junk balls and let them blast them into water hazards, pack snacks they like, and do everything I can to keep it as fun as I can even if it means I'm not really playing.
My older boy shows genuine athletic ability; he's got a good swing for a 6 year old and seems to have really strong hand-eye coordination.  His younger brother is a little less interested and aggressive but does well too. 
So, I'm not trying to be Earl Woods and raise the next prodigy, but I do hope they grow to love the game, and I do hope to at least facilitate that they learn to play to their potential, whatever that might be.
Questions for anyone with junior golf teaching experience, or who "successfully" raised golfers...am I doing it right so far?
What I really struggle with is when to make technical inputs, especially with my oldest.  His wants to set his top hand incredibly weak so I try to coax him to something stronger, and he keeps setting up waaaay right of the target.  So, stance, grip...fundamental stuff.   Sound about right?
He also tends to swing out of his shoes sometimes to the point that he misses and nearly falls down, but when he makes contact he hits it pretty well.  I don't want to tell him to swing slower...everything I've read says to let kids hit it as far as they can and straighten them out later when they're older. 
Sorry, bit of a rambling post, but any insights or advice is appreciated.  (And when is a junior ready for lessons?)

I love this post, my son is only 1.5 and already loves playing “ball” as he calls it. I am looking forward to the suggestions people might have on this topic as my son gets older!!


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[GolfSpy AFG]

19 hours ago, HeathS16 said:

I love this post, my son is only 1.5 and already loves playing “ball” as he calls it. I am looking forward to the suggestions people might have on this topic as my son gets older!!


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Plastics clubs and wiffle balls in the backyard were great for my kids initial interest.

Above all, it's got to be fun.  I lucked out in that the local muni that at the local muni I take my kids to I don't get charged for the kids, which makes it much easier and more palatable to let them decide when we're done.  Sometimes the boys do a full 18, other days...like the last time...they were done at 5 holes.  I make sure they're sure, but when they're done I never make them stay or power through or any BS like that.  I've got to leave them with positive vibes and a desire to come back for more rather than a feeling like Daddy made them be there.