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Best Yarns of the Golfing Kind! Tell them if you've got them ;D


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Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. The phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls".

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the clubhead.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Perplexed

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A lovely afternoon finds Rod and his wife, Phoebe are playing a round of golf. They have had a wonderful time and Rod has had a near-perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice, Rod puts the barn between his ball and the green.

Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. Phoebe, hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion. 'What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green.' Rod thinks this over and decides that it will work. With Phoebe holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack".  The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly. Months go by, the man mourning all the while. 

His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly enough; another terrible slice puts the old barn between Rod's ball and the green.

Again he begins to rant and rave at what this dilemma will do to his score. His friend, wanting to please him, makes a suggestion. 'What if I were to hold open the barn doors?  That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green.'

'No, don't do that,' says Rod, 'last time I did that I got a triple bogey.'

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting.
 "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
 "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
 "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, 
but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground 
after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun.  "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in 
its mouth and began to run away."
 "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no. says the nun.  You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, 
grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
 "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
 "No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the 
squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sandtrap, rolled onto the green, and 
stopped about six inches from the hole."
 The two nuns were silent for a moment.
 Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the f---ing putt, didn't you?"
  • Haha 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A husband comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn't include Tom Wilson in the games anymore.

The husband asks, "Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?"

"Of course I wouldn't," replies the wife.

"Well," says the husband, "apparently neither would Tom Wilson."

  • Haha 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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An avid golfer is obsessed with golf and wonders if there’s golf in heaven.  He goes to a psychic who tells him “I have good news and I have bad news”.  “What’s the good news?” The golfer asks.  The psychic says there’s the most beautiful course, always perfectly maintained, free, with 24-hour play, 26 holes, on the water”. “What’s the bad news?”  The psychic tells him “you have a tee-time next Friday!”

  • Haha 2

 

SW: Cleveland CBX 2 56 degree, 12 bounce

GW:  Cleveland CBX 2 52 degree, 11 bounce

6 - 9 irons: Callaway RAZR X HL Irons,  True Temper M-10 XP steel shaft

5H Callaway RAZR X HL 27 degree, 60 lie, 38.75" length

4H: Taylormade 22 degree,   60.5 Lie    40.25" length

3W Callaway Diablo Octane 15 degree, 56 lie, 43"

Taylormade Rocketballz 10.5 degree 46"

 

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A Scotsman is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day a gorgeous woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear swims up to the island. She approaches the Scotsman and says, "How long has it been since you had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he answers.

She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asks, "How long has it been since you had a whisky?

He replies, "Ten years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right sleeve, pulls out a bottle of single malt scotch and gives it to him.

He takes a long swallow and says,

"Wow, that's fantastic!"

She then starts pulling down the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him,

"And how long has it been since you played around?"

The Scotsman replies, "My God! Don't tell me you’ve a set of golf clubs in there!"

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Bob was trying desperately to get in 18 on a soon-to-be stormy day.

He was playing the round of his life, but as the weather grew worse, his swing on the 15th tee was awkward, resulting in a hooked drive into the trees.

His lie was a good one, but right next to a tree. He quickly approached his ball, set himself up, and right as he took the club to the top, lighting struck down from the sky catching his steel-shafted 5 iron.

His friends hurried over to see that there was a large crater in the ground and no site of Bob or his clubs. He was gone.

When he reached the pearly gates, St. Peter said, "Son, we are sorry to have taken you at such an early age, however, because you love the game so much, and you had the round of your life going, we decided to bring your clubs that you love so dearly so that you may play all the courses of heaven which are more incredible
than any course you have ever played."

The man started crying instantly, to which St. Peter replied, "I know, you have left behind many loved ones."

Bob said, "No, that's not it."

"Yes my son, you also had an unbelievable life and a great career," St. Peter said.

"No, that's not it either," sobbed Bob.

St. Peter was stumped, "Well then, what could make you so unhappy, that you would cry like a three year old girl?"

Bob looked up as the tears flooded from his eyes and said, "I think I left my wedge back on the 14th green."

  • Haha 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven... So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell... Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says ... "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted..."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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Shelly stood over her tee shot for what seemed like an eternity. She waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn’t start her backswing.

Finally, her exasperated partner asked, “What the heck is taking so long?”

“My husband is up there watching me from the clubhouse,” Shelly explained. “I want to make a perfect shot.”

“Good lord!” her partner exclaimed. “You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting him from here."

  • Haha 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam said, "What's a river?" God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill....." Adam said, "What is a hill?" So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave." Adam said, 'What's a cave?'

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman." Adam said, "What's a woman?' So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce." Adam said, "How do I do that?" God first said (under His breath), "Geez....." And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well. So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back. God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?" And Adam said, "What's a headache?"

  • Haha 4

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A group of golfers were putting on the green of a short par-5 when suddenly a ball dropped in their midst.

One of the four winked at the others and kicked the ball into the hole. Seconds later a very big guy puffed on to the green quite out of breath and red of face.

He looked around distractedly and asked: "Seen my ball?"

"Yeah, it went in the hole," the joker answered with a straight face. The fat one looked at him unbelievingly.

Then he walked to the hole, looked in, reached down and picked up his ball. His astonishment was plain to see.

Then he turned, ran down the fairway and as he neared his partner, the group on the green heard him shout:

"Hey, Sam, I got an eight."

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A married couple is out for their weekly round of golf, enjoying a great day and great play.

But on the ninth green, something terrible happens. The wife screams in agony and collapses to the green.

"Oh no," the husband exclaims, "you're having a heart attack!"

"Help me, dear," the wife implores, "find a doctor."

The husband runs off as fast as he can to find a doctor. He returns to the green quickly, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and glares at him. "I'm dying over here and you're putting!?" she asks incredulously.

"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly. "I found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" the wife valiantly asks.

"No time at all," her husband answers, while practicing his stroke. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

  • Like 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.

"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."

"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"

"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.

"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on.

Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.

"Yup," Scott answered.

"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

"I forgot."

  • Haha 4

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...

man is driving around the backwoods and he sees a sign in front of an old, shanty-style house that says - “Talking dog for sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A man is driving around the backwoods and he sees a sign in front of an old, shanty-style house that says - “Talking dog for sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that.


[emoji23]


Sent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy
  • Like 2

Left Hand orientation

:ping-small: G410 SFT driver 

Cobra King F-9  5 wood
:ping-small:  410  Hybrids 22*, 26*

Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts 

:titelist-small: SM7 54* Wedge

:ping-small: Glide 3.0  60* Wedge

:odyssey-small: O Works putter
:918457628_PrecisionPro:NX9-HD

:CaddyTek: - 4 Wheel 
:footjoy-small: - too many shoes to list and so many to buy

:1590477705_SunMountain: And  BAG Boy

Golf Balls: Snell MTB-X 

2020 Official Tester :SuperSpeed: Beginning Driver Speed  - 78

2019 Official Tester :ping-small:  410 Driver

2018 Official Tester :wilson-small: C300

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  • 2 weeks later...

Did you hear about the short psychic who escaped from jail?

She is a small medium at large.

  • Like 1

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loudspeaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the ladies’ tee box."
 
The man backs away, a little distracted then approaches his ball again. As he does, the same announcement comes over the loud speaker.
 
The man is getting irritated now, and after backing away from his shot, he approaches his ball one more time. This time the announcement came: "We really need the gentleman on hole number one to move off of the ladies’ tee box!"

To which the man turns around and yells: "And I really need the announcer to shut up and let me play my second shot!"
 
 
  • Like 2

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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  • 3 weeks later...

An elderly man had owned his large farm in Louisiana for many years.

Right at the back of the farm, there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the farmer decides to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn’t been down there for a while.

Before setting off, he grabs a five-gallon bucket with some old golf balls and a lofting wedge intending to practice chipping a few.

As he nears the pond, he can hear voices shouting and laughing with glee. Clearly, someone is having a good time.

As the farmer gets closer, he can see a bunch of young women who are clearly skinny-dipping in his pond.

He makes the women aware of his presence and immediately they all swim over to the far end.

One of the women then shouts, “We’re not coming out until you leave mister!“

The farmer replies, “Ladies, I didn’t come down here to watch you swim naked or make you get out of the pond. You carry on.“

The wily old-timer then holds up his bucket and says, “I just came down here to feed the alligators!“

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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Jimmy was not having a good day on the golf course.

After he missed a two-foot putt, his partner asked him what the problem was.

"It's the wife," said Jimmy.  "As you know, she's taken up golf, and since she's been playing, she's got me down to sex only once a week."

"Well you should think yourself lucky," said his partner.  "She's stopped with some of us completely!"

  • Haha 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff. But then the teacher realized that only Johnie was left. “Johnie, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, my daddy told me a story about my Mom”

“OK, let's hear”, said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”.

“She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.”

“She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy troops.”

“She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last enemy combatant with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class!!

“Good Heavens”, said the horrified teacher, “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”

“Stay away from Mom when she's drunk!”

Edited by EasyPutter
  • Haha 3

Verified Hack, 30 handicap 🙂  Golfing for exercise and peace of mind.

|> Big Dogs: O'Donnell Triumph hybrids 10-15-19-27, Ginty Trouble Club

|> Blades: First StrikeTM DeliveranceTM 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-P  Spitfire Graphite XL Shafts

|> Flatstick: Pinemeadow Z-ON M1   

|> App: SwingU Looper  

|> Club: CoverLogoS-H c sm.png"The World's Greatest Golf Club Without The Course"  www.stickandhack.com

⛳.  :1590477705_SunMountain: C130 Supercharged 🌲  :Clicgear:3.5+  🌳      🏌️‍♂️         EPLogo sm.jpg      StickHackLogo2021-uai-50x185.png.93cce20f8b531850ac1d2054c3d18cd3.png

2020 Official Tester - PuttUp mat logo_full_331d238c-3cab-4f84-ac72-d09e86f448c5_300x-25.png.11580987b80d9d26da7f04a31eadac9d.png

2021 Official Tester - Inesis Waterproof Grip Golf Shoes 1398724741_Inesislogo.jpg.34e215e2c1310a7b31d310ab89f4c188.jpg

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