Middler Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 Inspired by the comment thread, there were a few good ones there, I thought a separate thread on good golf quips might be entertaining - we probably all need some new material. Stuff like the old “you hit the big ball first,” “you’re still away” and my Dad’s favorite “you’re standing too close to the ball - after you hit it.” Let’s hear your best stuff? GolfSpy_SHARK, Shapotomous, JohnSmalls and 2 others 5 Quote Titleist TSR2 11° HZRDUS Red CB 50 6.0 w Lamkin UTx Midsize Titleist TSR2 16.5º HZRDUS Red 60 CB 6.0 & TSR2 21º HZRDUS Black 4G 70 6.0 w Lamkin UTx Midsize Mizuno JPX923 HMP 4-GW, T22 54.12WS, T22 58.04DC w Lamkin ST+2 Hybrid Midsize Evnroll EV5.3 Maxfli Tour & ProV1 Ping Pioneer - MGI Zip Navigator AT Payntr X 002 LE, Ecco Biom C4, Payntr X 001 F (Mesh) Link to comment
JohnSmalls Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 10 minutes ago, Middler said: Inspired by the comment thread, there were a few good ones there, I thought a separate thread on good golf quips might be entertaining - we probably all need some new material. Stuff like the old “you hit the big ball first,” “you’re still away” and my Dad’s favorite “you’re standing too close to the ball - after you hit it.” Let’s hear your best stuff? The ones I always hear first have to do with standing on "the wrong side of the ball" or holding the club "the wrong way", the usual lefty barbs. So I'll chuckle, approach my ball, and sarcastically notice that I am actually on the right side of the ball. Not a funny nor a great one, but it generally moves the discussion on to more lively and original topics. c_zoid, Shapotomous, cksurfdude and 2 others 5 Quote Gameday Vessel Sunday 2.0/ Ogio Silencer Dynapwr Carbon | Hzrdus Smoke Black Mavrik 3w | Evenflow Riptide FG Tour F5 Hybrid(20,23) | MCA Fubuki Staff Model CB 5-PW | DG 120 Vokey SM7 (50, 54, 58) | DG 120 Studio Stock 15 -ProV1x (left dash) Romans 10:9 Classic Bag Jones Collegiate Clemson Stand Bag Eye 2 Laminate 1973 Staff Dynapower 4-PW Anser DUO Link to comment
THEZIPR23 Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 After drive "are you closer to green or tee?" First time wearing shorts after winter "you know you're standing OB" c_zoid, Silverhorn43, cksurfdude and 4 others 4 3 Quote Stealth 2+ 9 (Diamana PD 60 S 45") Stealth 2+ 15 (Diamana PD 70 S 43") G425 19 (Raijin 2.0 85x) G425 22 (Raijin 2.0 85x) ZX7 5-9 (KBS C Taper S) Vokey SM9 45 10 F (KBS 610) Vokey SM9 49 08 F (KBS 610) Vokey SM9 55 08 M (KBS 610) Vokey SM9 59 04 T (KBS 610) Spider GT Splitback 34" ProV1 #23 Twitter @THEZIPR23 "One thing Golf has taught me, is that my muscles have no memory." Link to comment
GolfSpy_SHARK Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 I always like the "Did you call digsafe for that one?" on a good old chunky. Buffly, Middler, cksurfdude and 4 others 6 1 Quote Check out my reviews: G710 Irons Official Review I MC Shaft & V Series Putter Official Review 2022 Forged Tec's Official Review I Nitron Push Cart Official Review WITB: Weapons of grass destruction (link to WITB) Traverse is filled with all this shiny metal and tracked by RadSpeed 8* - MotoreX F1 6X SIM 3W - Project X HZRDUS Green U505 Driving Iron 17* - Project X HZRDUS Black SpeedZone 4H - Project X HZRDUS Black 2022 King Forged Tec's 4-PW - KBS $ Tape 130 48 (SM8), 52 & 60 (SM7) - Nippon Modus 125 S ER2VI PROV1X #19 Are you a veteran? Check out the Veterans Golf Association (VGA) Thread! Link to comment
Siamese Moose Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 My personal favorite, on putts left short, either "Nice lay up, or, "I don't think I would have layed that one up." Nateyeight, juspoole, GolfSpy_SHARK and 6 others 8 1 Quote Moose, my cat, is Siamese Link to comment
Buffly Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 "short putts only go in 85% of the time" "I can't hear you over that outfit" "You're not good enough to be that upset" cksurfdude, c_zoid, Middler and 2 others 5 Quote Golf is simple - people are complicated. 5w Taylormade SLDR S 19* - 220yd, Ping G2 5-U - 190-105, Maltby M+ 54* & MG 60* - 95-75, Evnroll ER8, Titleist 816 H1 4h 21*, Maltby 4 Hybrid Iron 24* - 210-200, Callaway XR16 8* - 235 carry Link to comment
JY56 Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 I like the one when the putt goes a mile offline from a mis-read, or way short and somebody quips "I don't know how that didn't go in" c_zoid, JohnSmalls, cksurfdude and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment
Siamese Moose Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 1 hour ago, JY56 said: I like the one when the putt goes a mile offline from a mis-read, or way short and somebody quips "I don't know how that didn't go in" A similar take on a really bad putt, "Well, your speed was off, but at least your line was bad." StrawberryShortCake, Silverhorn43, Grvng_Bgys and 5 others 7 1 Quote Moose, my cat, is Siamese Link to comment
Buffly Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 When a guy totally crushes a tee shot, "what did that ball ever do to you?" cksurfdude, JohnSmalls, Middler and 3 others 6 Quote Golf is simple - people are complicated. 5w Taylormade SLDR S 19* - 220yd, Ping G2 5-U - 190-105, Maltby M+ 54* & MG 60* - 95-75, Evnroll ER8, Titleist 816 H1 4h 21*, Maltby 4 Hybrid Iron 24* - 210-200, Callaway XR16 8* - 235 carry Link to comment
Shapotomous Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 For those really bad off line putts in our group you'll often hear.... You seemed to have played that putt into a dogleg! cksurfdude, JohnSmalls, Middler and 2 others 5 Quote Modern Bag: G410 LST 10.5*, Hzrdus Smoke RDX 6.5 Flex; 915F 3w, Diamana S+ 70 S flex; Snake Eyes 18* 2h, 23* 4h & 27* 5h; JPX 900 Forged 6 - PW, PX LZ 6.0; Edison 2.0 49*, 53*, 57* KBS Tour 120 S; Heppler Fetch; Ball - MTB-X; Bag - Jones MyGolfSpy Edition! Shot Scope H4, MG600 Rangefinder Classic Bag: Driver - Persimmon; 3w - Speed Slot; 5w - Tour Block; 3 - pw - Dynapower; sw - Ram Tom Watson; putter - bullseye standard or flange. Link to comment
StrawberryShortCake Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 My favorite is "are you having fun yet?" That dig safe comment is amazing i'm stealing that. c_zoid, cksurfdude, Middler and 2 others 5 Quote Driver: Rogue Sub Zero 9* stiff Wood: Tight Lies TI 3 wood stiff Hybrid: XR 3 19 deg stiff Irons: JPX 900 Tour std loft/lie Wedges: 52,56,60 Putter: #7 Red Ball: Q-Star 12.9 Handicap Comox Valley, B.C. Link to comment
tony@CIC Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 Golf is a four letter wordSent from my iPad using MyGolfSpy JohnSmalls, cksurfdude, GolfSpy_SHARK and 1 other 4 Quote Left Hand orientation SIM 2 D Max with Fujikura Air Speeder Shaft Cobra Radspeed 3W/RIptide Shaft 410 Hybrids 22*, 26* Cobra Speed Zone 6-GP/Recoil ESX 460 F3 Shafts SM7 54* Wedge Glide 3.0 60* Wedge O Works putter V3 NX9-HD - 4 Wheel EZGO TXT 48v cart - too many shoes to list and so many to buy And BAG Boy Golf Balls: Vice Pro Plus 2020 Official Tester Beginning Driver Speed - 78 2019 Official Tester 410 Driver 2018 Official Tester C300 Link to comment
LeftyHawk Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 (edited) This one I heard from a guy in his 80's during league play. His partner crushed one off the tee...waaaay off line, so much so it went to an adjoining fairway. As the guy was silently cussing himself out Fred said "That was one seriously F*ed up shot........ executed perfectly!" We all hit the ground laughing, it really lightened the moment. Chris Edited September 4, 2020 by LeftyHawk cksurfdude, JohnSmalls, Buffly and 2 others 3 2 Quote Far and Sure...... GBB Epic 11* GBB Epic 7W (Heavenwood) : G410 4 thru GW MD3 54*,60* Huntington Beach Soft #4 Tour B RX Link to comment
Chip Strokes Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 my brother in law has a bad habit of leaving putts short. every so often i’ll remind him that he dropped his lipstick as he walks towards the hole. c_zoid and Buffly 1 1 Quote SIM2 8º | KuroKage XD 70TX SIM 3W 14º | Fujikura Atmos Black Tour Spec 9TX SIM2 5W 18º | Fujikura Ventus Black 10X U500 2i | Fujikura Ventus HB Black 10TX T100 4-PW | Dynamic Gold X7 SM6 52* SM8 56* SM8 60* | Dynamic Gold Tour Issue X100 DW | BGT Stability Tour Link to comment
Buffly Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 6 hours ago, Chip Strokes said: my brother in law has a bad habit of leaving putts short. every so often i’ll remind him that he dropped his lipstick as he walks towards the hole. These comments about hitting like a girl and implicating they don't hit very far is a pet peeve of mine. I want to encourage more women to play the game and, stuff like this does not help. If women overhear comments like this then it is very discouraging. I'm all for throwing shade but, not at the point of discouraging an entire gender. "Muscles shrinking since we all can't go to the gym anymore?" "Is that putter too heavy for you?" "That ball must have lead weights in it?" "Did you calculate that in Meters instead of Yards again?" c_zoid, tony@CIC, Chip Strokes and 1 other 4 Quote Golf is simple - people are complicated. 5w Taylormade SLDR S 19* - 220yd, Ping G2 5-U - 190-105, Maltby M+ 54* & MG 60* - 95-75, Evnroll ER8, Titleist 816 H1 4h 21*, Maltby 4 Hybrid Iron 24* - 210-200, Callaway XR16 8* - 235 carry Link to comment
Chip Strokes Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Buffly said: These comments about hitting like a girl and implicating they don't hit very far is a pet peeve of mine. I want to encourage more women to play the game and, stuff like this does not help. If women overhear comments like this then it is very discouraging. I'm all for throwing shade but, not at the point of discouraging an entire gender. "Muscles shrinking since we all can't go to the gym anymore?" "Is that putter too heavy for you?" "That ball must have lead weights in it?" "Did you calculate that in Meters instead of Yards again?" i don’t really think it’s all that serious, not every chirp has overarching societal implications c_zoid 1 Quote SIM2 8º | KuroKage XD 70TX SIM 3W 14º | Fujikura Atmos Black Tour Spec 9TX SIM2 5W 18º | Fujikura Ventus Black 10X U500 2i | Fujikura Ventus HB Black 10TX T100 4-PW | Dynamic Gold X7 SM6 52* SM8 56* SM8 60* | Dynamic Gold Tour Issue X100 DW | BGT Stability Tour Link to comment
Hook DeLoft Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 “That’s one lazy golf ball” cksurfdude and c_zoid 2 Quote 14 of the following: Ping G430 Max 10.5 degree Callaway 2023 Big Bertha 3 wood set to 17 degrees Cobra F9 Speedback 7/8 wood set at 23.5 degrees Callaway Epic Max 11 wood Ping Eye 2 BeCu 2-SW Mizuno 923 JPX HM HL 6-GW Hogan sand wedge 56 degree bent to 53 Maltby M Series+ 54 degree Ping Glide 3.0 Eye2 58 degree Ping Glide 3.0 60 degree Evnroll ER2 Ping Sigma 2 Anser Cheap Top Flite mallet putter from Dick's, currently holding down first place in the bag TaylorMade Mini Spider Bridgestone XS Link to comment
JFish350 Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 "That ball is far right/left the dog won't find it". Short putt "weight room". Ball in water "Scuba Steve on the course". Ball in bunker " I don't think Pamela Anderson is on that beach". c_zoid and cksurfdude 2 Quote Sub 70 949 D 9* HZRUDS 60G 6.5 smoke RDX shaft. Sub 70 949X 4 wood ALDILA ABV 65-S shaft Sub 70 699 Pro 4-AW Sub 70 3 utility 19* Callaway 56 and 58 wedge. OG White Hot #1 putter Link to comment
Kenny B Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 I use this one quite a bit when one of our buddies hits his drive into the adjacent fairway... c_zoid, tony@CIC, JFish350 and 1 other 4 Quote “We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.” Link to comment
cksurfdude Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 You know after you hit a tee shot OB .. and re-tee .. and then absolutely nail the next one..? Well in this case the saying is... "Golf is eeeasy .. just hit your second shot, first." Kenny B, c_zoid, Shapotomous and 1 other 4 Quote WITB of an "aspiring" play-ah ... Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A) 5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R) 7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R) 4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3) 5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3) 6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite) Putter...EvnRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grips) ...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour. Forum Member tester for the Paradym X driver (2023) Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020) Link to comment
MmmmmmBuddy Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 My standard for any shot that is obviously short, and I mean REALLY short. “Let it develop”. Sent from my iPhone using MyGolfSpy c_zoid, Shapotomous, Silverhorn43 and 1 other 4 Quote Driver - Ping G430 Max 9° | Ventus Blue TR Hybrid - ZX 16° & 18° | GD Tour IZ S 2 Iron - ZU65 17° | AeroTech SteelFiber 110icw S Irons - ZX7 MKII 4-Pw | TTDGTI S400, std length 1° flat Wedges - RTX 6 Tour Rack 50° 54° 58° | TTDGTI S400, std length 1° flat Putter - L.A.B. Golf Link.1 | LA Golf P135 shaft | Garsen Quad Tour grip Link to comment
Kenny B Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 A beautiful shot that comes up short of the green, usually in water or bunker... "Looked good... 'til it wasn't." tony@CIC, c_zoid, cksurfdude and 3 others 6 Quote “We don’t stop playing the game because we get old; we get old because we stop playing the game.” Link to comment
Shankster Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 My boss made a point to say nice Shank after every shot once... I mean he ain’t lying, I do “Shanks” the ball every time I hit it. my favorite that I came up with for myself that has gained some traction is: “There. it. isn’t...!” Shapotomous, c_zoid, JohnSmalls and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment
ballhawk Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 When you hit a good drive and the next guy hits and somebody shouts "That's a Linda Rhonstadt"........ you turn and say a what? and they say it blew by you (" blue bayou you") c_zoid, Shapotomous, GaDawg and 2 others 5 Quote Total Callaway bag - except putter Link to comment
Chip Strokes Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 any time someone in our group asks “did you see where that went” the stock answer is “yeah you’re definitely in the water” even if there’s not a puddle around for miles Silverhorn43, cksurfdude, Shapotomous and 1 other 4 Quote SIM2 8º | KuroKage XD 70TX SIM 3W 14º | Fujikura Atmos Black Tour Spec 9TX SIM2 5W 18º | Fujikura Ventus Black 10X U500 2i | Fujikura Ventus HB Black 10TX T100 4-PW | Dynamic Gold X7 SM6 52* SM8 56* SM8 60* | Dynamic Gold Tour Issue X100 DW | BGT Stability Tour Link to comment
Hook DeLoft Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 On 9/4/2020 at 5:17 AM, Buffly said: These comments about hitting like a girl and implicating they don't hit very far is a pet peeve of mine. I want to encourage more women to play the game and, stuff like this does not help. If women overhear comments like this then it is very discouraging. I'm all for throwing shade but, not at the point of discouraging an entire gender. "Muscles shrinking since we all can't go to the gym anymore?" "Is that putter too heavy for you?" "That ball must have lead weights in it?" "Did you calculate that in Meters instead of Yards again?" I understand that “hit it Alice” started as “hit it Alliss” after Peter Alliss left one short in a big match. Either Ryder Cup or Walker Cup. c_zoid, tony@CIC and cksurfdude 3 Quote 14 of the following: Ping G430 Max 10.5 degree Callaway 2023 Big Bertha 3 wood set to 17 degrees Cobra F9 Speedback 7/8 wood set at 23.5 degrees Callaway Epic Max 11 wood Ping Eye 2 BeCu 2-SW Mizuno 923 JPX HM HL 6-GW Hogan sand wedge 56 degree bent to 53 Maltby M Series+ 54 degree Ping Glide 3.0 Eye2 58 degree Ping Glide 3.0 60 degree Evnroll ER2 Ping Sigma 2 Anser Cheap Top Flite mallet putter from Dick's, currently holding down first place in the bag TaylorMade Mini Spider Bridgestone XS Link to comment
Jackal Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 When my Son hits a weak shot, I always say "Next time, hit it with your purse, Stella!" Shapotomous and c_zoid 2 Quote Always chasing different clubs Link to comment
pulledabill Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 Buddy tells me when I leave putts short "pull your skirt up Martha". Shapotomous, c_zoid and Jackal 2 1 Quote DRIVER: Cobra F9 10.5 Tensei AV Blue 65g 3W- Callway XR PRO 16 stiff 5W- Alpha- Mitsubishi Diamana Redboard w/band Irons- Mizuno JPX 919 Tours with S KBS Tour shafts Hyrbid- TM 4h mid-rescue Vokey- Vokey SM5 51 degrees, SM7 Wedges 54 and 58 1/2 half 3 degrees upright Putter- Taylor Made Rossa Monza Mini Spider Ball-ProV1 and AVX Link to comment
braincramp Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 Partner having a bad day: I just don't know what my problem is. Me: Loft is your problem my friend. Lack Of F'ing Talent! Shapotomous, JohnSmalls, Jackal and 3 others 3 3 Quote Ping G430 Driver, 19° Hybrid, Ping Anser 23° Hybrid, Mizuno 923 Hot Metal 6-GW, Ping 54°&58° Glides, Scotty Cameron 5.5 Link to comment
Ath219 Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 Threw my buddy a ball with a women's name on it and told him I thought he lost it after he left a put short Shapotomous, JohnSmalls and c_zoid 3 Quote Callaway Bag- Rogue Driver, Mavrik Irons and Hybrids, Stroke Labs Putter Cleveland 3W and Mizuno SW Link to comment
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