Funniest (Good Natured) Golf Digs After a Bad Shot?

[MmmmmmBuddy 1,337]

My standard for any shot that is obviously short, and I mean REALLY short.

“Let it develop”.


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[Kenny B 25,056]

A beautiful shot that comes up short of the green, usually in water or bunker...

"Looked good... 'til it wasn't."

[Shankster 26,329]

My boss made a point to say nice Shank after every shot once... I mean he ain’t lying, I do “Shanks” the ball every time I hit it.  
 

my favorite that I came up with for myself that has gained some traction is:

“There. it. isn’t...!”

[ballhawk 11]

When you hit a good drive and the next guy hits and somebody shouts "That's a Linda Rhonstadt"........ you turn and say a what? and they say it blew by you (" blue bayou you") 

[Chip Strokes 3,613]

any time someone in our group asks “did you see where that went” the stock answer is “yeah you’re definitely in the water” even if there’s not a puddle around for miles 

[Hook DeLoft 275]

On 9/4/2020 at 5:17 AM, Buffly said:

These comments about hitting like a girl and implicating they don't hit very far is a pet peeve of mine. 

I want to encourage more women to play the game and, stuff like this does not help. 

If women overhear comments like this then it is very discouraging. 

I'm all for throwing shade but, not at the point of discouraging an entire gender. 

"Muscles shrinking since we all can't go to the gym anymore?" 

"Is that putter too heavy for you?"

"That ball must have lead weights in it?"

"Did you calculate that in Meters instead of Yards again?"

I understand that “hit it Alice” started as “hit it Alliss” after Peter Alliss left one short in a big match. Either Ryder Cup or Walker Cup. 

[Jackal 149]

When my Son hits a weak shot, I always say "Next time, hit it with your purse, Stella!"

[pulledabill 2,528]

Buddy tells me when I leave putts short "pull your skirt up Martha". 

[braincramp 231]

Partner having a bad day: I just don't know what my problem is. 

Me: Loft is your problem my friend. Lack Of F'ing Talent!

[Ath219 4]

Threw my buddy a ball with a women's name on it and told him I thought he lost it after he left a put short

[Hook DeLoft 275]

When someone curses after a bad swing but the shot ends up ok:  Don’t let your mouth f*** up a good shot. 

[azstu324 3,191]

After someone blows a putt past the hole.

"Hey it's the same put.. just from the other direction."

the more I practice, the luckier I seem to get..

[Shapotomous 2,060]

When somebody in the group hits one in the water with a visible splash you'll hear....

The white bass are jumping today!  

[scooterhd2 504]

I usually go with the false positivity.

Like when someone pulls their approach long and left into the trees - easy up and down .

When someone slice it miles right into the next fairway - a touch right, not too bad.

When someone duffs a 3w going for a par 5 in 2 - smart layup right there. 

[wolfpacker92 16]

When someone blazes one way right - "I see you are working the ball right to more right today"

When you crush a drive past your buddy - "Is that a Walmart they are building between your drive and mine?"

[juspoole 1,834]

Similar lines to the Costco between your ball and mine and several others already mentioned.

Also enjoy pulling a Dodgeball line when someone hits one to the trees or just way off target and will have a very difficult next shot. "Bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off for him"

[JohnSmalls 6,196]

That wasn't a slice, that was the whole pie!   I used to use this one a lot.....on a tee shot that I had just hit.

[downlowkey 3,998]

My personal favorites that are good for any garbage - “I hope you guys are taking notes” _or_ “you just can’t teach that”

Shots struck around the equator of the ball that go bounding over the putting surface - “these greens won’t hold a thing”

Absolutely crushed but miles wide - “at least it’s a _long_ way the wrong way”

The long putt that only makes it halfway to the hole - “good practice for the next one“

[braincramp 231]

When someone hits a tee shot out in the crap : Lassie couldn't find that ball if it had bacon wrapped around it.

[Mr. 82 3,863]

On 9/4/2020 at 6:17 AM, Buffly said:

These comments about hitting like a girl and implicating they don't hit very far is a pet peeve of mine. 

I want to encourage more women to play the game and, stuff like this does not help. 

If women overhear comments like this then it is very discouraging. 

I'm all for throwing shade but, not at the point of discouraging an entire gender. 

"Muscles shrinking since we all can't go to the gym anymore?" 

"Is that putter too heavy for you?"

"That ball must have lead weights in it?"

"Did you calculate that in Meters instead of Yards again?"

The trash talk that contains the likes of "Nice putt Nancy," only take place amonst all male groups.  I played with a young college girl the other week, and I had to remind myself not to make gender specific comments (towards myself) while playing golf with her.

And in the immortal words of Sergeant Hulka from the movie, "Stripes,"