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Funniest (Good Natured) Golf Digs After a Bad Shot?


Middler

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When someone curses after a bad swing but the shot ends up ok:  Don’t let your mouth f*** up a good shot. 

14 of the following:

Ping G430 Max 10.5 degree

Callaway 2023 Big Bertha 3 wood set to 17 degrees

Cobra F9 Speedback 7/8 wood set at 23.5 degrees

Callaway Epic Max 11 wood

Ping Eye 2 BeCu 2-SW

Mizuno 923 JPX HM HL 6-GW

Hogan sand wedge 56 degree bent to 53

Maltby M Series+ 54 degree

Ping Glide 3.0 Eye2 58 degree

Ping Glide 3.0 60 degree

Evnroll ER2

Ping Sigma 2 Anser

Cheap Top Flite mallet putter from Dick's, currently holding down first place in the bag

TaylorMade Mini Spider

Bridgestone XS

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After someone blows a putt past the hole.

"Hey it's the same put.. just from the other direction."

the more I practice, the luckier I seem to get..

   PXG 0311 Gen 5 9°/ Fujikura MotoreX F1 6X
:cobra-small:  F6 3 Wood 14* / Kuro Kage Silver 65X
:cobra-small: F8 6 wood 20* / Fujikura MotoreX F3 6S

:cobra-small: RADSpeed Hybrid 24*
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411_thumb.jpg TS1 4-GW / FCM Precision 6.5 Rifle
post-76102-0-38507100-1525284411_thumb.jpg  TSW Wedge - 56/12
:edel-golf-1:  EAS 1.0 / Grip master 2.0 

MAXFLI  Tour CG

 

 

 

 

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When somebody in the group hits one in the water with a visible splash you'll hear....

The white bass are jumping today!  

Modern Bag:  :ping-small: G410 LST 10.5*, Hzrdus Smoke RDX 6.5 Flex;   :titelist-small:  915F 3w, Diamana S+ 70 S flex;  Snake Eyes 18* 2h, 23* 4h & 27* 5h; :mizuno-small: JPX 900 Forged 6 - PW, PX LZ 6.0;  Edison 2.0 49*, 53*, 57* KBS Tour 120 S;   :ping-small:  Heppler Fetch;  Ball - :Snell: MTB-X; Bag - Jones MyGolfSpy Edition! 

Shot Scope H4, MG600 Rangefinder

Classic Bag:  Driver - :wilson_staff_small: Persimmon; 3w - :Hogan: Speed Slot; 5w - :wilson_staff_small: Tour Block; 3 - pw - :wilson_staff_small: Dynapower; sw - Ram Tom Watson;  putter - bullseye standard or flange.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I usually go with the false positivity.

Like when someone pulls their approach long and left into the trees - easy up and down .

When someone slice it miles right into the next fairway - a touch right, not too bad.

When someone duffs a 3w going for a par 5 in 2 - smart layup right there

GARSEN GRIP TESTER

  • Driver: PING G400 MAX, Ventus Blue 6x
  • Woods: COBRA F6 Baffler AD DI 8S
  • Hybrid: CALLAWAY Apex Pro, Ventus Blue 8s
  • Irons: SRIXON ZX5 mk2 5-6, ZX7 mk2 7-PW, Modus 120x
  • Wedges: EDEL 50 C grind, 54 V grind, CLEVELAND 60 RTX6 Low
  • Putter: YES Abbie!
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When someone blazes one way right - "I see you are working the ball right to more right today"

When you crush a drive past your buddy - "Is that a Walmart they are building between your drive and mine?"

image.png.cb7b03298fd09e42c3c67730cb2769e4.png Paradym X 10.5 

image.png.4cd1e78357212dbb5c4aa67c87405756.png ZX 3 wood

image.png.cb7b03298fd09e42c3c67730cb2769e4.png Paradym X 5 Wood

 image.png.5094bf65d200d3ff7ef5ed059993dfb4.png 939 4 Hybrid

 image.png.20b346710af0f11f93b6d631dc876ccb.png  T200 5-GW

image.png.664487f7f78d0d4b5324340c070f5aa0.png 53 degree wedge

image.png.cb7b03298fd09e42c3c67730cb2769e4.png Mack Daddy PM Grind 56 degree wedge

image.png.616442318e7c45a3da06e86a3df7faa0.png White Hot Versa Twelve DB

image.png.20b346710af0f11f93b6d631dc876ccb.png Tour Speed

 

 

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Similar lines to the Costco between your ball and mine and several others already mentioned.

Also enjoy pulling a Dodgeball line when someone hits one to the trees or just way off target and will have a very difficult next shot. "Bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off for him"

Driver:  image.png.3c6db1120d888f669e07d4a8f890b3f1.pngMavrik Sub Zero 9* (Set to 10) Ventus Blue 6X

2 Hybrid: :titelist-small: TSI3 Hybrid Tensei Blue 80 X (17.25*)

3 Hybrid :titelist-small: 818 H2 Hybrid Hzrdus RDX Black 6.5 (20.5*)

4 Iron -  :titelist-small: T200 4 Iron Graphite Design Tour AD IZ X Hybrid Shaft

Irons 5-PW:  :titelist-small: T100-S 5 - GW KBS Tour 130 X

Gap/Sand Wedge:  :titelist-small: Vokey SM6 49*  SM8 54* 

Lob Wedge:  image.png.3c6db1120d888f669e07d4a8f890b3f1.pngJaws 5 Wedge 58* DG Tour Issue Stiff

Putter:   :scotty-small: Phantom 5.5 34"      Pro Platinum Newport 2 35"      Taylormade Tour Black Spider 34"

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That wasn't a slice, that was the whole pie!   I used to use this one a lot.....on a tee shot that I had just hit.

Gameday
Vessel Sunday 2.0/ Ogio Silencer
Wilsonlogo20Clemson.png.eee77a65568179cdcfb783c9a3e68f4b.png Dynapwr Carbon | Hzrdus Smoke Black
:callaway-small:  Mavrik 3w | Evenflow Riptide
Wilsonlogo20Clemson.png.eee77a65568179cdcfb783c9a3e68f4b.png FG Tour F5 Hybrid(20,23) | MCA Fubuki

Wilsonlogo20Clemson.png.eee77a65568179cdcfb783c9a3e68f4b.png Staff Model CB 5-PW |  DG 120
:titleist-small: Vokey SM7 (50, 54, 58) | DG 120
bettinardilogo2MGS.png.3b311f05930da73872d3b638ef39f51c.png Studio Stock 15
:titleist-small:-ProV1x (left dash)

Romans 10:9


Classic Bag
Jones Collegiate Clemson Stand Bag

pinglogo_clemson_MGS.png.f64aa10b6e73d4f55a61d78f590addca.pngEye 2 Laminate
:wilson_staff_small: 1973 Staff Dynapower 4-PW

pinglogo_clemson_MGS.png.f64aa10b6e73d4f55a61d78f590addca.pngAnser

:wilson_staff_small: DUO

 

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My personal favorites that are good for any garbage - “I hope you guys are taking notes” _or_ “you just can’t teach that”

Shots struck around the equator of the ball that go bounding over the putting surface - “these greens won’t hold a thing”

Absolutely crushed but miles wide - “at least it’s a _long_ way the wrong way”

The long putt that only makes it halfway to the hole - “good practice for the next one“

:cobra-small:______S9-1 Pro D - Matrix Ozik XCON 6 S
:cobra-small:______S9-1 Pro 15* - Matrix Ozik XCON 7 S
:nickent-small:________3DX 17* - Matrix Ozik Altus Hybrid SG
:Hogan:______ICON Black 4-PW - KBS Tour V S
:cleveland-small:__________588 RTG 49  RTX 52.10  56.12 - DG S400
BobbyGrace.png.1dc40002fcec0eee8603b71b3e706e89.png______Amazing Grace NYC Tour CS
:taylormade-small:_______'19 TP5X
(the preceding have all been gamer approved)

"The most important shot in golf is the next one“ - Ben Hogan

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  • 3 weeks later...

When someone hits a tee shot out in the crap : Lassie couldn't find that ball if it had bacon wrapped around it.

Ping G430 Driver, 19° Hybrid, Ping Anser 23° Hybrid, Mizuno 923 Hot Metal 6-GW, Ping 54°&58° Glides, Scotty Cameron 5.5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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On 9/4/2020 at 6:17 AM, Buffly said:

These comments about hitting like a girl and implicating they don't hit very far is a pet peeve of mine. 

I want to encourage more women to play the game and, stuff like this does not help. 

If women overhear comments like this then it is very discouraging. 

I'm all for throwing shade but, not at the point of discouraging an entire gender. 

"Muscles shrinking since we all can't go to the gym anymore?" 

"Is that putter too heavy for you?"

"That ball must have lead weights in it?"

"Did you calculate that in Meters instead of Yards again?"

The trash talk that contains the likes of "Nice putt Nancy," only take place amonst all male groups.  I played with a young college girl the other week, and I had to remind myself not to make gender specific comments (towards myself) while playing golf with her.

And in the immortal words of Sergeant Hulka from the movie, "Stripes," 

 

 

  • :ping-small: G400 Driver
  • :callaway-small: XR 4 Fairway 16.5°
  • :mizuno-small: Fli-Hi Utility Iron - 21°
  • :ping-small: G Series 5-9 irons
  • :titelist-small: :vokey-small: SM7 46°, 50°, 54° & 58°
  • :taylormade-small: Ghost Spider S putter
  • :918457628_PrecisionPro:Nexus Laser Rangefinder
  • Garmin Approach S20 GPS
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On 12/1/2020 at 9:39 PM, cksurfdude said:

You know after you hit a tee shot OB .. and re-tee .. and then absolutely nail  the next one..?

Well in this case the saying is...

"Golf is eeeasy .. just hit your second shot, first." 🤪

That second guy is a PRO!!!

  • :ping-small: G400 Driver
  • :callaway-small: XR 4 Fairway 16.5°
  • :mizuno-small: Fli-Hi Utility Iron - 21°
  • :ping-small: G Series 5-9 irons
  • :titelist-small: :vokey-small: SM7 46°, 50°, 54° & 58°
  • :taylormade-small: Ghost Spider S putter
  • :918457628_PrecisionPro:Nexus Laser Rangefinder
  • Garmin Approach S20 GPS
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I'm reminded of the golfer who took a bucket list trip to an unnamed resort course that cost mega bucks to play, that required you to use a caddie.  This golfer had never played with a caddie before, so he was a bit uncomfortable on the first tee, and wasn't sure how to interact with his caddie.

After the usual pleasantries and the caddie sort of explaining how it works, they commence at teeing off.  Bucket list golfer tees off and him being nervous, tops his tee shot about 75 yards in front of him.  His caddie, without missing a beat says, "Not enough loft."

Bucket list golfer continues to struggle throughout the round, and after every bad shot the caddie would say the same thing, "not enough loft."

The bucket list golfer really didn't understand, but because he didn't know the proper etiquette, he kept playing, and struggled home to a miserable 108.  As they were walking off the 18th green the bucket list golfer finally gets up enough courage to ask his caddie, "I am curious, you kept saying 'not enough loft' throughout the round, but I am pretty sure I was hitting the right club most of the time.  What am I missing here?"

Without missing a beat, the caddie goes, "Not enough loft, as in "LACK OF F'ING TALENT."

  • :ping-small: G400 Driver
  • :callaway-small: XR 4 Fairway 16.5°
  • :mizuno-small: Fli-Hi Utility Iron - 21°
  • :ping-small: G Series 5-9 irons
  • :titelist-small: :vokey-small: SM7 46°, 50°, 54° & 58°
  • :taylormade-small: Ghost Spider S putter
  • :918457628_PrecisionPro:Nexus Laser Rangefinder
  • Garmin Approach S20 GPS
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On 12/6/2020 at 8:48 PM, azstu324 said:

After someone blows a putt past the hole.

"Hey it's the same put.. just from the other direction."

the more I practice, the luckier I seem to get..
 

The one I use when they blow a putt past the hole, " that was kinda like your high school prom night, you let it go off in your hand".

Driver: :titelist-small: TSI3 - 10*, Hzrdus Smoke 6.0 Stiff

Driver: :taylormade-small: Stealth Plus - 10.5*, Oban Kiyoshi Purple O4Flex-65 Grams Purred
3 Wood: :taylormade-small: SIM - 15*, Graphite Design Tour AD DJ5 Stiff
Hybrid: :titelist-small: TS3 - 19*, Hzrdus Smoke 6.0 Stiff
Irons: :titelist-small:  5 - PW T150, with Nippon Zelos 7 Reg, 4 iron - U505 with Project X HZRDUS Black Stiff

Wedges: :titelist-small: Vokey SM 8 - 50*, 60* Standard Wedge Shafts

Wedge: :taylormade-small: Milled Grind 3 MG3 56* S200 shaft

Putter:  :scotty-cameron-1: Studio Select Newport 1.5        
Putter:  :scotty-cameron-1: Phantom X 5.5
Ball: :titelist-small: Pro V1x

 

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