A round of golf to truly remember! What's been your favorite story?

[TBS]

(Read in a Morgan Freeman voice, with the ESPN 30 for 30 music in the background)

What if I told you a round of golf could result in not just anger and disappointment but 3 doctors visits, ointments, steroids, and indecency,  would you believe me? This is the story of how a simple round of golf turned into a month to remember.

Beginning in January, my golf group decided to commit to walking. I was all in. The courses we play would not be considered to be walkable by most due to  a lot of undulation, but we are young, need the exercise, and find it more enjoyable. It was our 2nd time walking. The first time, we found some of the cut throughs to the next tee to make it a more direct walk.

On Hole 4 of Ridge Course at RTJ Oxmoor Valley, you are hitting from an elevated tee box. The cart path winds and goes up and down over a few hills. I noticed there was an access road that would lead directly to the fairway and cut out the winding undulation of the cart path. When we returned for our 2nd round, I wanted to try it out.

If you notice from the picture of the hole, the red circle is the tee box, the red line is the access road, and instead of me walking backwards just a little bit to where the road starts, I thought I found a short cut, the yellow line. It was a concrete drain runoff that looked a little steep but not too steep. I started the decent, which quickly became a fall/slide. My push cart was stopped by a tree and I wasn’t far behind. No blood or anything broken, just some mud and my new golf shoes had some minor scrapes on shoes, bag, and ankle. My buddies had a good laugh, and I went on my way to finish the round. I cleaned off my shoes with my hand and my towel and didn’t think anything of it. The round was uneventful besides that.

      

Well, a couple of days later, I woke up to some itching. And not like an itch on my arm or back but… below the belt, like on the shaft of the club. Well, I had been playing a lot of golf, so maybe just some jock itch. I powdered up and went to play the next day. Well, after a few holes, I went to the bathroom, in addition to the itching, there is now significant swelling. I’m not talking about a little bump, I’m talking about what looked like a growth. Oh no, this is not jock itch.

I go home, and my darling, sweet, patient wife, a nurse, checked me out. In her words, “yeah, that’s not normal”. It’s New Years eve, in peak COVID season, so I’m off to find an urgent care. I find one that does not seem to be full of COVID and I finally get seen by a doctor. After, I try to describe my “issue” to the nurses at the front (1st time), the (male) doctor comes in. I describe my issue again (2nd time), and he says alright let me take a look.

I drop my pants. He says “woah…” followed by silence. My reply, “yep”. Then the questions start, everything from partners, foreign objects, wife’s partners, etc. For those curious all answers were no. He can’t give a for sure diagnosis but said an infection and to treat as bacterial because “that could get really bad.” He asks if I had been doing anything with chemicals or outside. I said golf. Then, he decides to become a comedian. “Well are you any good? Do you keep it in the fairway? Haha”. Sir, this is not the time to joke, you just said that this body part could get worse if I’m not careful. Off I go with an ointment and prescription.

Well, a few days go by, and it’s worse, now the club shaft and ProV1s are swelling and itching. Wife’s response, “yeah, that’s definitely not normal”. I’m having to sleep with tight shorts because I will scratch while sleeping which makes the issue worse. 2 days later, I wake up and there is now some redness and swelling around my eye in addition to down there. Off to a different urgent care.

Here we go again, through the same routine, talk to the triage nurse (3rd time), who tries to react professionally, then comes in the doctor (4th time). Except this time a female, she looks at my face, then opens the door to ask for a “chaperone”. Here we go, a nurse comes in and I drop my pants. Her reaction, “so, it’s not normally like this?”. Ma’am, it’s all red with large swollen areas all down there. My response, “nope, it’s typically not swollen or red”. Her diagnosis was similar, she thinks it’s unlikely to be contact dermatitis or poison ivy because of where it is located, and is either a strange viral or bacterial infection. I get a shot, some steroids, more powerful antibiotic, and more cream. Great, maybe I’ll get better.

Nope.

In 2 days, I wake up looking like this. ("normal" picture to compare)

 

                                             

Yup my swelling is now fully covering my Pro V1s and now my entire face. I get an appointment at a dermatologist. Same routine, nurse tries to be professional (5th time) and enters a resident (6th time). This poor resident was so green he couldn’t even bring himself to say the anatomical term of where the issue is located. He asks to see it and I drop my pants. You can tell he is not confident. He leaves the room and I hear him talking to his attending. Now the attending comes in (7th time). I share all my symptoms and drop my pants again. He asks about my activities and I mention golf. “Well, do you keep it in the fairway? Haha” SIR! I’m in pain. He gives a formal diagnosis-poison ivy. POISON IVY, How? He said that has moved from a localized area and now is generalized in an area of the body. Or in my case multiple areas. He explains how the oils from Poison Ivy can get on shoes, clothes, equipment and can stay on it for weeks or months. I get 30 days worth of steroids. By the end of the day, swelling is way down and I’m on the mend. As he’s leaving, he has the audacity to say “just try to keep it in the fairway next time, haha”. It’s still not funny.

Thinking back, it was probably that tumble in the shortcut where I rubbed up against the tree. I probably got some on my shoes, hands and bag. My routine at the course is to put on my shoes, check in, then bathroom. And you don’t wash your hands before you go to the bathroom, well until now. Later in the round or over the next few days, I touched my shoes or bag then I probably rubbed my face out of frustration or sweat which caused the reaction there. I washed everything and wiped everything down.

Since then I have not had any more issues and I’ve kept it in the fairway doc!

 

For those interested here is a FULL pic(https://bit.ly/3fgCJXk) of the swelling issue.

 

Stay safe out there. Anyone else have a round to remember that's as dramatic?

[Siamese Moose]

Not due to golf, but I've had that kind of poison ivy issue more than once. (I'm very susceptible!) I have to keep a steroid pack in the house all the time. My doctor ordered me, that if I ever got it above the neck, to drop everything and come into his office immediately. Don't bother calling ahead, just come in. If he's not in go to an ER. Apparently if it gets into your eyes you can lose your vision very quickly, as in a matter of hours. It sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

[GolfSpy_APH]

Poison Ivy is no joke and not fun at all. I have been fortunate enough to avoid it, but I have had several family members fall or come in contact with it as well as the dogs a few times which has made their lives miserable. I am glad in the end it all got sorted away for you and hopefully the course knows about it as well so they can take care of it properly. I know it is often very area depended, but most walking trails and such back in Canada would often have signs and if it was reported it would be removed. 
Love you analogies they gave me a chuckle...Thinking awfully highly of the boys being ProV1s! haha Sorry... had to. 
Again glad you are on the mend and all is good now, I can only imagine it was a less then fun experience to go through.