Share your experiences with singles or being a single at the course

[heavygolffeels]

I frequently play as a single. Going out to Dinosaur Mountain tomorrow morning to get paired up with 2 or 3 random people, but I've never had any problems. It usually nice because if you jive with the group you can choose to be more outgoing or talkative. If not, then its easy to just stay within yourself and focus on your game. With friends there more of an expected social environment which may or may aid in good golf. I quite enjoy that freedom. 

[HardcoreLooper]

Most golfers are great people.

I play about half my rounds as a single.  And while I love being able to walk and play in under three hours, I've met so many great people getting paired up or joining up with a group on the course that I love doing it.  I can think of exactly two people I've played with in the last 10 years that I hope to never run into again.  That's it.  

I love rooting for other people's shots (it's the caddy in me), and I dig watching how other people get the ball into the hole.  You can always learn something from another golfer, even if it's what's not to do.

I can't tell you how many people I've played golf with that I know I'd never get to meet outside of a golf course.  Plus, I'm an introvert, and it's good to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people.

[Murv]

I have been  going to Arizona for 10 years for the Winter. The first six years I would report to the clubhouse and ask to be paired up. Out there all groups are at least 3 minimum.

I may have to wait a little while but I always got out and for the most part had great experiences. As a walker...being paired with a riding twosome and another rider is tough if they drive off and you have to chase them on every hole.

I have probably played over 100 rounds like this and can think of only one occasion where I wished I had stayed home.

[WaffleHouseTour]

A buddy and I took up the game together.  Went to a golf school.  Played with our dads clubs. Joined a club together, bought an Ez-Go together, had a standing tee time on Friday and Saturday.  Then kids came along, work got busier, and life in general.   It started with the missed Friday matches, then it was tSaturday tee time.  Eventually my buddy gave up the game.  
 

At first I thought I would have to too.  Play as a single?  Like going to a restaurant or the movies alone….
 

We’ll, I do those too now.  I’m almost exclusively an single.  I chase the mowers at dawn.  I’ve played all over the country as a single getting matched up with others.  Almost all have been positive experiences.  Playing with three left handed Canadians at Chambers Bay (apparently it’s a hockey thing); three singles that filled every stereotype of a New Yawker at Bethpage Black; by pure luck I got matched up with the same single three years in a row at a resort course in Hawaii (we both like early tee times).  The only bad experience I’ve had was at Black Wolf Run - a husband a wife that continued a fight they were having at the resort, and it sure seemed like they were headed straight for divorce court after the round.

My suggestion - play your own game.  If you play the white tee, then play the white tees - don’t go back to the blues because your new partners do (odds are they should also be at the whites). If you don’t bet on the course, then politely decline if they want a money game.  Be flexible - I’ve played with kids, college student, three women, and seniors - I’ve always found something to enjoy and learn from the experience.  

I walk, and I will walk if I can.  I don’t care if they ride.  And neither do they care if I’m walking.  

it’s only a golf ball, and they sell them by the dozen… don’t hold up your new friends.  Play quick.  No one cares about your score.  Play ready.  Play ready.  Play ready.  

 

[RickK]

Not so much now that I am retired but before retirement I traveled quite a bit resulting in me showing up at golf course as a single.  I personally do not like playing as a single.  I always ask do they have someone who they could pair me up with.  Other times, I have hung around until I saw a single, twosome or threesome and just walked up and asked if they minded if I played along with them.  On a few occasions, I was turned down but not very often.  

I try my best to be cordial, play quickly, and avoid certain topics of conversation that tend to be controversial.  Conversation comes pretty easy for me so I just try to find out what their interests are and go from there.  And, I never give advice about golf unless I am asked.  

Edited June 24, 2021 by RickK
word correction

[Curtis Atkinson]

One thing I'd say is rather than awkwardly try to guess and feel how they're going to play (in order, ready golf, etc) it's easier to just ask those things up front for the round. I've played as a single paired up with folks and lots of times play as a pair paired up with a random pair and have found it a lot more at ease to just introduce myself, tell them I typically shoot in the 90's, and tell them I'm up for however they want the round to be and ask if they like to stick closer to the "norms" or more casual. Has made the first few holes much more comfortable to know. 

[HardcoreLooper]

On 6/18/2021 at 9:53 PM, HardcoreLooper said:

Most golfers are great people.

I play about half my rounds as a single.  And while I love being able to walk and play in under three hours, I've met so many great people getting paired up or joining up with a group on the course that I love doing it.  I can think of exactly two people I've played with in the last 10 years that I hope to never run into again.  That's it.  

I love rooting for other people's shots (it's the caddy in me), and I dig watching how other people get the ball into the hole.  You can always learn something from another golfer, even if it's what's not to do.

I can't tell you how many people I've played golf with that I know I'd never get to meet outside of a golf course.  Plus, I'm an introvert, and it's good to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people.

My daughters didn't want to get up early and play with me last Sunday (they'd played a tournament with me the day before, so they get a pass), so I played as a single and got paired with a group of three younger guys (I'm 50, they were early 30s).  They were nice enough to let me know that they weren't very good, so I suggested we play the 6000 yard tees and they had a good time with that.

They cranked up the tunes, and I told them I was fine with that.  I'm not really the biggest fan of rap, but it must have worked for me - I shot 75.

They were good dudes, we had a blast, they insisted I have a couple of their beers, and it was a good time all around.  And one of the guys is now applying for a job with my company with my referral, since I got to spend 4 hours with him.

[GolfSpy_APH]

As I knew really nobody here that golfed I played as a single a lot here. The language also made things a bit tricky as I know enough basic German to guy by, however still prefer english. 

I truly love playing as a single though. I really enjoy getting to meet knew people, their backgrounds and hear stories about their golf and life. I use to be so so nervous golfing as a single thinking people would judge me left right and center and so on. However I have come to realize that if you are just a decent person people dont care how you play and simply enjoy being out on the golf course. 

As this has trended I have got the chance to meet a lot of new people and it has then become golfing with more regulars and now although I do get into groups where I know nobody, quite often I know at least one person which is nice. 

I am curious if others get nervous when golfing with others for the first time? How do you cope and what helps you get comfortable playing as a single?

[sirchunksalot]

I've been fortunate to be able to play quite a few rounds solo at the course I play over the years. Of the times I have either been paired up or paired up myself, it's been both nerve wracking to start out and then eventually becomes fun. 

It's always nice when the person who you play with really enjoys the game and the conversation can turn to golf and the course. I'm pretty introverted in real life and somewhat socially awkward. 

I've been able to get over the thoughts that the person I'm playing with might get frustrated about the state of my game. I play fast enough not to be a burden and realize we're all out there to enjoy the day. 

[Preeway]

5 hours ago, GolfSpy_APH said:

I am curious if others get nervous when golfing with others for the first time? How do you cope and what helps you get comfortable playing as a single?

Before my son picked up the game, I played a lot of my rounds as a single. I didn’t really get nervous as much as I did anxious. Being a 5 handicap I was more concerned about getting paired with a group that was really bad and would play slow. But for the most part I found the groups I got paired with to be good people who were out to enjoy the game just like I was. 

[Fairwayguy2]

I only had one bad experience playing as a single.  I played with a father and son where the father was basically berating his kid for ever bad shot.  The kid was way better than his dad and all I could think of is if he kept it up he would drive his kid away from the game.  

[Caddie1966]

6 hours ago, GolfSpy_APH said:

As I knew really nobody here that golfed I played as a single a lot here. The language also made things a bit tricky as I know enough basic German to guy by, however still prefer english. 

I truly love playing as a single though. I really enjoy getting to meet knew people, their backgrounds and hear stories about their golf and life. I use to be so so nervous golfing as a single thinking people would judge me left right and center and so on. However I have come to realize that if you are just a decent person people dont care how you play and simply enjoy being out on the golf course. 

As this has trended I have got the chance to meet a lot of new people and it has then become golfing with more regulars and now although I do get into groups where I know nobody, quite often I know at least one person which is nice. 

I am curious if others get nervous when golfing with others for the first time? How do you cope and what helps you get comfortable playing as a single?

I’ve played as a single too many times to count.  I have also had a regular foursome for years.  I find playing as a single is just as much or more fun than having a regular group.  
I can say I have been nervous as a single only a few times over the years and those times have been when playing at a resort like Kapalua in Maui or the Ocean Course on Kiawah Island, Harbor Town in South Carolina.
My nervousness was due to wanting to get off the first tee on those courses without embarrassing myself.  It had nothing to do with playing as a single.  I’ve played those and other resort courses a number of times and have to say that after the first time through, no nerves.  
The only other time I can think of being really nervous as a single was playing behind Fred Couples at my home course about 25 years ago.  He and his playing partners let me play through and I have to admit, I was almost hyper ventilating over that tee shot.  

[WaffleHouseTour]

Vast, vast majority of my rounds are played as a single.  Part of it is that I like to play early and walk (my exercise) so I’m truly a single.  Part of it is my golfing buddy switched to pickle ball years ago.  I get matched up if I’m playing a full course or try to play middle of the day and that’s fine. 
 

A jerk is a jerk whether they are a single or part of a group. (May keep them single in life…)  but for the most part people I get matched up w have always been good folks.  Worst experience was a husband and wife headed for divorce court.  Most fun - three crazy singles that were like a stereotype of New York Bronx bombers. 

[SteveGH7]

I've rarely played as a single, but playing public courses in Southern California me and my playing partner get paired up more often than not.  While we sometimes hope we don't get paired up, when we do they are almost always pleasant experiences and we get to meet different folks who are usually just trying to have a nice relaxing round.  

[Golf Therapy]

I play as a single most of the time also. My experiences have almost always been positive. I think the takeaway for me has always been, if you are pleasant and a decent person it will be a good time unless you get paired with a jerk. Some people just have a mature of being unhappy and angry, those are the ones who ruin the game for others.

[richk9holes]

I have 3/4 of the year where my main playing partner and paternal parental unit is in Florida so I am often the single in a group.

Golf Now is helpful in this regard. Chances are others in your group are in the same boat. When you book a single riding many courses have enough carts to give you a personal one at off hours. I enjoy walking as much as possible and that alleviates some friction.

When riding with someone I don't know I make sure to move anything on the side of the bag that is touching theirs, towels, brushes, gps unit, etc.

I've met good friends on the course and exchanged numbers afterwards. I've also met people who were absolutely gross. I think it's part of the charm of the game and another layer to the zen art of mastering it. Personal speakers blaring music, personal preference on turn order and greenside etiquette and a whole host of other factors are largely at the discretion of the group. If you are the single you have to adapt.

I'm self conscious about this topic, especially when I find myself in the middle of someone else's regular game.

I found this golf digest article helpful.

https://www.golfdigest.com/story/scratch-player-dos-donts

 

[rockjack1]

Actually i can play with other i don't have problem. But my habit is moslty i play gold as single. In this way get more outcomes than playing with others.

Edited October 23, 2023 by rockjack1

[sabramFL]

I used to travel a lot and frequently went to courses as a single. Usually got paired up with others. In 30 years I can only think of two instances where it wasn't a good experience. Golfers generally are nice to other golfers even if they are jerks off the course. I've sometimes made arrangements to play with them again and have new friends with former strangers I was paired with. 

Edited June 11, 2023 by sabramFL

[Brooky03]

My threesome of my dad, brother-in-law, and I got paired with a single at a course recently.  I've been fortunate, I guess, that this is only the 2nd time I can recall being forced to play with a stranger by a course.  I have occasionally linked up with other singles when I've played as a single and the pace on the course that day is slowwww.  I don't love it and I'm of the opinion that a course should treat a threesome as a full tee time rather than looking at every tee time as a block of 4 golfers that they have to fill if they can.  But I digress.

The dude was a little younger than me and chill.  Quiet guy, a little better than us 3 but we weren't holding him up and he didn't hold us up.  When I saw the gap we had by hole 3, I told him he could go ahead of us separately but he declined, which I thought was a little odd.  We went in for food and drink at the turn and he played on, so we got to enjoy the back 9 a little more.  When you're paired with a stranger, it just makes conversation more awkward, even when you're not talking to that person.  We don't really say anything crazy, but still.

Some people love the social aspect of playing with a stranger.  Even though I've had fine experiences (this one and one other time twosomes were paired), I could do without it.  It's annoying enough for me that I'm considering just paying for 4 next time we play to avoid any possibility of getting paired.  In reality, I'll likely just avoid going back to the course that did this.

[vandyland]

39 minutes ago, Brooky03 said:

I've been fortunate, I guess, that this is only the 2nd time I can recall being forced to play with a stranger by a course.  I have occasionally linked up with other singles when I've played as a single and the pace on the course that day is slowwww.  I don't love it and I'm of the opinion that a course should treat a threesome as a full tee time rather than looking at every tee time as a block of 4 golfers that they have to fill if they can.  But I digress.

I'm surprised no one else has jumped in on this. This is your opinion and I am not likely to change it but here I go anyway. 

I play as a single 90% of the time. I have two small kids under 4 so I generally cannot make an advance tee time, just have to wait and see when I get an opening. Personally, I would MUCH rather play with strangers than be a lone single in the middle of a packed golf course or even just playing by myself. I enjoy playing with other people, even if we aren't really talking to each other. I have been waiting to tee off on busy courses before and had a 3some show up and then the starter asks "can this single play with you" and I think once or twice the 3some has said "no." Your idea that a golf course should treat a 3some as a 4some and block a single from getting "into your tee time" is a bit selfish, in my opinion. If you want to play by yourself or have a protected 3some, join a private club. Otherwise you are stuck with us "odd/annoying" singles that actually prefer playing with others. 

[Golf2Much]

Living in Key West you learn quickly to "never judge a book by its cover".  The guy at the bar in a t shirt, cut off shorts and flip flops could easily be a multi-millionaire or a single digit handicaper!  

I usually enjoy having singles join me when there's a spot open in our group.  For the most part, they have been pleasant and since most have not played Key West Golf Club before, they appreciate some insight about playing the course.  

The fun part is a single rides up, looks at the score card and sees our white tees are just over 6000 yards.  They immediately head for the blue tee tips because it's just too short!  Unfortunately, they don't look at the 69.5 rating (par 70) and 129 slope from the whites.   They also don't see the OB, water and mangroves on most holes that will eat up golf balls.  I had a guy join us once and he bypassed the white tees for the blues.  His first swing, I knew it was going to be a long day.  My cart mate and I were as supportive as possible until we got to the 16th hole.  He had to bail from the round because he ran out of the two dozen golf balls he just purchased at the pro shop.    Even with that example, he was pleasant, he kept up and we all had a good time.  

[revkev]

I never get hooked up with a single at my club - people there have their regular groups and if they are going out as a single, that's what they want.

 

However now that I'm in a league at a muni I will frequently get hooked up with a single.  I have two other league guys that I play with so that leaves a slot.  We might get a league guy/gal or it may just be a stray single.  Regardless I always enjoy meeting new people and rarely have a bad experience.  We got hooked up with a young guy last week.  He was a blast to play with.  He wasn't happy that I got to play off the senior tees and shot 1 over but it was all in good fun.  I'd play with him again in a heartbeat.  

 

I used to play as a single fairly frequently when I was younger for the same reason as Vandyland - I had younger kids and didn't know when I might be able to get out.  Plus I belonged to a semi private course and always walked so the more I played the less the cost per round.  I played most Weds afternoons in a men's group but other than that it was always as a single to start.  I met tons of great people that way some of whom ended up as friends or in that same men's group.  I don't play as a single much at all anymore.  I sometimes have trouble seeing the ball.  I will occasionally play the 2,3,8,9 loop by myself when I practice out on the back range and the course is not crowded.  I have to really focus though so as to not loose a ball because I didn't see it.  Fortunately one of those holes is a par 3 - I see those shots.  It's driver that is an issue anymore.  

[Brooky03]

42 minutes ago, vandyland said:

I'm surprised no one else has jumped in on this. This is your opinion and I am not likely to change it but here I go anyway. 

I play as a single 90% of the time. I have two small kids under 4 so I generally cannot make an advance tee time, just have to wait and see when I get an opening. Personally, I would MUCH rather play with strangers than be a lone single in the middle of a packed golf course or even just playing by myself. I enjoy playing with other people, even if we aren't really talking to each other. I have been waiting to tee off on busy courses before and had a 3some show up and then the starter asks "can this single play with you" and I think once or twice the 3some has said "no." Your idea that a golf course should treat a 3some as a 4some and block a single from getting "into your tee time" is a bit selfish, in my opinion. If you want to play by yourself or have a protected 3some, join a private club. Otherwise you are stuck with us "odd/annoying" singles that actually prefer playing with others. 

I replied to this but not signed in, so idk if it will show up later or what, but here’s attempt #2.

To each their own, but I would feel like the selfish one if I imposed myself on another group as a single.  In the instance I described, the course uses an online booking system.  The single was not a ‘walk-in’.  One of two things happened; he either saw a spot for one was available at the time he wanted (4 were available for the tee time when I booked it) or he called and the employee saw an availability of one slot at that time.  Either way, the course decided us 3 were playing with him.  Not the twosome with the tee time ahead of us or the threesome behind us (who arrived late).  Bad luck, I suppose.  Courses gotta make money.

This has fortunately been a rare occurrence for me in my 20 years of golfing or so.  I don’t know if this is common in other areas, but at the courses I play (not really nice but not goat tracks) being forced to pair up just hasn’t happened.

As for my preference to play alone when not playing with friends/family, I like the solitude and the ability to relax.  I have a 3 and 5 year old.  I usually book my tee times in advance. When I do, I avoid slots that show other golfers booked.  On the rare occasion I show up without a tee time, I don’t impose myself on others, regardless of whether they see it as an imposition.  I’ll wait for a later tee time or try another course.  Different strokes for different folks.

[Tarheelvolvo]

Never been asked, and certainly never "forced" to play with strangers on my local courses. I often walk as a single - exercise and frustration, all in one! - and have never had an issue. 

I understand the desire for the course mgmt to try and pack as many folks in as possible - more golfers = more $$ - but it should still be at the scheduled tee-time groups discretion, and never forced upon them. 

[JerryB]

I would really rather not be paired up if I can avoid it and am fortunate to play at a course and at times that it usually isn't an issue.  When Owen and I play in the mornings during the week we choose a tee time that allows us to play quickly as we work in the afternoon.  While he's better about it than I am, we're both very introverted and for me, any extra social interaction really takes its toll.

That being said, the few times we've been paired up during morning rounds have been enjoyable.  At the very least, they've created stories that he and I will share and laugh about for a long time.  If just the two of us play a weekend round somewhere other than our home course, we fully expect to be paired up and for me its better because I can prepare for it, if you will.  I do try to make anyone else feel welcome and hope that I come across that way.

I've gone out to my home course a few times as a single if Owen wasn't able to join me, and I'm frankly a little self-conscious about it.  I have terrible eyesight and lose balls easily.  I hate having to lean on someone outside of Owen or my friend group to track balls for me.  As I've gotten better I can usually head to where I assume I hit the ball and find it, but looking for a minute or two and then dropping a new ball is still a regular occurrence.

Owen likes to rib me because I get really anxious when there's anyone behind me.  If I were super-rich the first thing I would do is build/purchase my own private golf course.

[sabramFL]

1 hour ago, Brooky03 said:

My threesome of my dad, brother-in-law, and I got paired with a single at a course recently.  I've been fortunate, I guess, that this is only the 2nd time I can recall being forced to play with a stranger by a course.  I have occasionally linked up with other singles when I've played as a single and the pace on the course that day is slowwww.  I don't love it and I'm of the opinion that a course should treat a threesome as a full tee time rather than looking at every tee time as a block of 4 golfers that they have to fill if they can.  But I digress.

The dude was a little younger than me and chill.  Quiet guy, a little better than us 3 but we weren't holding him up and he didn't hold us up.  When I saw the gap we had by hole 3, I told him he could go ahead of us separately but he declined, which I thought was a little odd.  We went in for food and drink at the turn and he played on, so we got to enjoy the back 9 a little more.  When you're paired with a stranger, it just makes conversation more awkward, even when you're not talking to that person.  We don't really say anything crazy, but still.

Some people love the social aspect of playing with a stranger.  Even though I've had fine experiences (this one and one other time twosomes were paired), I could do without it.  It's annoying enough for me that I'm considering just paying for 4 next time we play to avoid any possibility of getting paired.  In reality, I'll likely just avoid going back to the course that did this.

I'm not trying to be mean or snarky, but that's a pretty self,- centered view. I don't think a course should have to give up the income by leaving a space unused just for your preference.  And I don't think a single should be prevented from playing or be forced to wait, perhaps for hours, when there is an available space on the tee sheet. When there was an open hole in front of you, the guy likely didn't want to go ahead alone because he would have caught up with the next group very quickly and its no fun to be a single stuck behind a group on a course that's full of groups. Golf is a social game . For me, part of the fun is meeting new people. When I'm a single I'm very happy to get paired up. When my regular weekend group has an opening we always welcome a single to join us.

[ZenGolfer]

On 6/16/2021 at 12:52 PM, ColoradoFife said:

I picked up golf a few years ago as a hobby after the birth of my first child. Before I started playing, I was an avid fly angler and spent most of my free time on the water. However, after my children were born I had less time to spend a day in the mountains fishing Colorado's amazing clear waters. As a result, I decided to find an activity that still got me outside but didn't require a long drive and I can be home within a few hours. Thank you to the golf gods for showing me this amazing game. My first set of clubs were the Callaway Strata. I spent many hours at the range learning how to develop my swing through countless YouTube videos. After a year, I bought a iron set from an estate sale and bought a new driver, wedges and a putter. Within three years, I have been able to hit my irons straight and pure and drive the ball a good distance. My shortfall is my short game and course management. Because I never grew up playing golf and only picked up the game recently, I play a lot of rounds as a single. I know this was a long intro to my question, but I am curious about everyone's experience playing as a single or playing with a single. I am always conscious about not ruining my playing partners game. I try to be friendly without trying to be there new best friend, help look for lost balls, and keep up the pace of play (I am a relatively fast golfer that probably needs to slow down).

Recently, I played with a single and a group of two. From the start of the round, the single was a jerk to the golf shop employees by being upset about the increase in cost. During the round, he always seemed to try to show off but failed miserably. He decided to play from the tips when everyone else was playing one tee up. His drives were all over the place and always wanted to tee up another ball. He loved to offer unsolicited swing advice and get incredibly mad at his own poor club selection or bad swings.  

With that said, I wanted to check with the forum about their good and bad experiences as a single or playing with a single. This will help me become a better playing partners for all those groups of three that see the dreaded single walking up to the first tee.   

I play as a single 99% of the time.  Ive always had good experiences.  Everyone I play with is nice, polite, respectful and just wants to have a good time.

It sounds to me like you just got put with a bad apple.

[Brooky03]

28 minutes ago, sabramFL said:

I'm not trying to be mean or snarky, but that's a pretty self,- centered view. I don't think a course should have to give up the income by leaving a space unused just for your preference.  And I don't think a single should be prevented from playing or be forced to wait, perhaps for hours, when there is an available space on the tee sheet. When there was an open hole in front of you, the guy likely didn't want to go ahead alone because he would have caught up with the next group very quickly and its no fun to be a single stuck behind a group on a course that's full of groups. Golf is a social game . For me, part of the fun is meeting new people. When I'm a single I'm very happy to get paired up. When my regular weekend group has an opening we always welcome a single to join us.

In my experience as a single, you can snake your way through the course/groups and find a decent gap to settle into, usually within a few holes.  The course on the day I’m referring to, at least, was not THAT full that a single couldn’t play through.

As for the courses losing money, that probably doesn’t hold a lot of water.  Customer satisfaction is a part of business.  Sometimes you sacrifice crumbs here and there for that.  Not leaving a bad taste in your customers’ mouths can be better for business than squeezing every dollar out that you can today.  In this instance, cramming a single in cost the course a return customer, in all likelihood.  Does that happen a lot?  Probably not, but it’s not as simple as just subtracting the lost revenue from a single walking away if you making them find an open or less full slot.

In all reality, we’re talking about pretty rare occurrences that aren’t going to make dents in the bottom lines of golf courses.

Edited June 12, 2023 by Brooky03

[sabramFL]

24 minutes ago, Brooky03 said:

we’re talking about pretty rare occurrences that aren’t going to make dents in the bottom lines of golf courses

I play 100 + rounds a year all over the US, UK and Ireland. Singles are quite common 

[Brooky03]

6 minutes ago, sabramFL said:

I play 100 + rounds a year all over the US, UK and Ireland. Singles are quite common 

Singles are very common.  Singles ASKING to join groups are less than common but not rare.  Groups forced to play with singles are not common and are indeed rare.