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Golf as a New Dad


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Hello Everyone,

 

I am the proud father of two beautiful girls one almost 4 and the other 3 months old. I have moved on from other sports, mainly baseball and soccer after playing most of my life since becoming a father of 2. With that said the desire for a competitive game to play and measure my improvements against has resurfaced and lead me to golf. Anyone with kids can tell you how hectic life can be with little ones. With that said the question I pose to the Golf Spy Community is, how do you find time to play or practice golf as a father? How have your expectations shifted from before children to after children in regards to golf? How has your relationship with golf shifted as your children grew older and started to enter school and even leaving the house? I could go to the range and beat balls and practice chips until the cows come home but I often find higher priority responsibilities pulling me away at our families current stage in life. I've attached some pictures of my eldest and I's latest escapades on the course just trying to get her out there with me and learn some of rules as well as just enjoying being out on the golf course. 

 

Tell me how you balance your golf life, family and all of life's responsibilities.  

IMG-3121.JPG

IMG-3122.JPG

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  • Haha 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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My kids are my top priority, so I only choose to play golf when they are sleeping, at a friend's house or my wife has taken them somewhere.

I usually sacrifice sleep, wake up at 5, tee off at 6, finish 18 by 9 and be home by 10 on weekends. Kids are probably just waking up and we can still have breakfast together.

Other times, if the kids feel like smacking balls on the range, we go together. Sometimes my daughter just likes to run around, so I play 9 holes while she walks with me.

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13 minutes ago, Kanoito said:

My kids are my top priority, so I only choose to play golf when they are sleeping, at a friend's house or my wife has taken them somewhere.

I usually sacrifice sleep, wake up at 5, tee off at 6, finish 18 by 9 and be home by 10 on weekends. Kids are probably just waking up and we can still have breakfast together.

Other times, if the kids feel like smacking balls on the range, we go together. Sometimes my daughter just likes to run around, so I play 9 holes while she walks with me.

Yes it seems the only time available for golf these days is around sunrise and the occasional session with the little one. She currently is obsessed with the golf cart portion of the experience and often won't even follow me up onto the green but rather hang around and explore the cart. 

  • Like 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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My son (first child) was born last year, so I have had a recent adjustment. Golf is the one thing that really allows me to reset as I get time with friends, time outdoors with no computer/phone, and time to compete (with myself and with friends/playing partners). For that reason, as much as possible, I have sacrificed any other social life that existed pre-kids rather than sacrificing golf since it can check a lot of boxes for me. My wife has also been very supportive as she knows that the "reset" really helps me be the best dad/husband/corporate stooge the rest of the week. I try to make it up to her by making sure she has solo time in the evenings. Even with that, I went from playing 45-55 times per year plus at least one range session each week (I live in San Diego so was playing almost every weekend throughout the year), to 20 rounds, with probably 15 range sessions, in his first 12 months. Handicap has gone from a 5.0 up to almost 9 before dipping back just below 8 recently. On one hand, it is very frustrating to watch yourself get worse at golf, but on the other hand I am really stressing a lot less about my scores and focusing on enjoying the time I do get, which has been refreshing. 

Logistically I did two things: First, I joined a club back in January that was offering a good Jr. Executive deal. I am definitely not "breaking even" financially, but the course is 10 mins from my house so I am able to get a full 18 holes in and be back at the house within about 4:30-4:45 after leaving, compared to really a minimum of 6 hours out of the house for the public tracks I was playing at (between longer commutes and slow weekend play on completely stacked courses). 

The other thing I did was put a putting green over a small dirt patch in my side yard. I am having fun playing around with my son, who loves holding his little plastic club and swatting at the ball, and also enjoy a good 15 mins most evenings after he has been put to bed just grooving my stroke while turning my brain off.

I would imagine the second kid whenever that does happen will be another even bigger reduction in the amount of golf I will play (and will get rid of the club membership), but I will cross that bridge when I get there!

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Fairway: :titelist-small: TSi 2 15* w/ Graphite Design AD IX 7X

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That's awesome to hear and playing back and forth off of each other is really great with the wife as it ensures everyone gets their own reset/recharge time. It certainly gets a little tougher with two as it turns into swapping kids with each other but that's a different story for another time. Having a club that close by seems great as well just for being to pop in and out as quick as someone could within reason playing 18 holes. I've been thinking of setting up a hitting station in the backyard just to get some time in while the kiddos sleep or maybe early in the morning as the sun comes up but good on you for getting out there and playing as much as you do. 

  • Like 3

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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I am definitely lucky, I know that - It has been terrible in a hundred other ways, but the pandemic actually helped my golf frequency in that there has been minimal social obligations or travel since my son was born, so most weekends are free.

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Driver:  :titelist-small: TSi 3 10* w/ Graphite Design AD IZ 7X 

Fairway: :titelist-small: TSi 2 15* w/ Graphite Design AD IX 7X

Hybrid: :titelist-small: TSi2* 17* w/ Atmos Blue 85x  

Utility: :ping-small: i500 3i (19*) w/ MMT 125tx

Irons: :cobra-small: Forged Tec Black 4i, King Forged CB 5-GW w/ KBS $ Taper 130

Wedges:  :vokey-small: SM7 54 S, 58 M w/ Modus 125

Putter:  :cameron-small:  California Hollywood 34" Circle H

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I have one. I've been able to play twice a week, an occasional third round. I tee off at sunup on Sat & Sun. Luckily I've been at home through all of COVID-19 and my wife works for herself out of the house. So I can still get to the course. The problem is practice time. I bought a BirdieBall mat so putting while the kid sleeps has been easy. I've been to the driving range once this year, not that I was much of a range rat anyways. Once they're old enough, I'm getting clubs in their hands.

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1 hour ago, DiscipleofPenick said:

I have one. I've been able to play twice a week, an occasional third round. I tee off at sunup on Sat & Sun. Luckily I've been at home through all of COVID-19 and my wife works for herself out of the house. So I can still get to the course. The problem is practice time. I bought a BirdieBall mat so putting while the kid sleeps has been easy. I've been to the driving range once this year, not that I was much of a range rat anyways. Once they're old enough, I'm getting clubs in their hands.

Yes hopefully I can get two more golfers in the family as they grow older. The older one is just happy to play outside in general so it's an easy sell getting her to come out to the course with Dad. 

  • Like 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, TheProfessor02 said:

Yes hopefully I can get two more golfers in the family as they grow older. The older one is just happy to play outside in general so it's an easy sell getting her to come out to the course with Dad. 

I've been playing one course for a few years and have got to know the pro well. He already let's my wife come walk along with me, so I hope he lets me being the little one once their old enough.

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I have shifted to a lot more driving range and 9 hole rounds than ever before.  Since COVID and work from home, I'll have the ability to do this over my lunch hour.  I think I've played once this golf season on the weekend.  When I was going into work normally, I just didn't get to play all that much. 

I have 6, 5, and 3 year old kids and just this past 18 months have been able to play golf like I could when it was just my oldest child (but that's daytime during the week).  For the other 5 year period, my rounds were around 12 for the year.  If I could get out once every 2/3 weeks, I was happy, but expectations were much different.  You might throw in another range session in between.  I also was trying to play as much as possible through work events too lol.

It looks like you already bring your 4 year old to the course at times, which would be one suggestion. 

Next is to try and get short practice sessions in during the work week if possible and/or 9 hole rounds.

Last would be to invest in a hitting net and some type of monitor (rapsodo or skytrak/mevo) so you have some data behind it.  This has been huge for me so that after winter is over I can hit the ground running.

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2 Hybrid: :titelist-small: TSI3 Hybrid Tensei Blue 80 X

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5 minutes ago, juspoole said:

I have shifted to a lot more driving range and 9 hole rounds than ever before.  Since COVID and work from home, I'll have the ability to do this over my lunch hour.  I think I've played once this golf season on the weekend.  When I was going into work normally, I just didn't get to play all that much. 

I have 6, 5, and 3 year old kids and just this past 18 months have been able to play golf like I could when it was just my oldest child (but that's daytime during the week).  For the other 5 year period, my rounds were around 12 for the year.  If I could get out once every 2/3 weeks, I was happy, but expectations were much different.  You might throw in another range session in between.  I also was trying to play as much as possible through work events too lol.

It looks like you already bring your 4 year old to the course at times, which would be one suggestion. 

Next is to try and get short practice sessions in during the work week if possible and/or 9 hole rounds.

Last would be to invest in a hitting net and some type of monitor (rapsodo or skytrak/mevo) so you have some data behind it.  This has been huge for me so that after winter is over I can hit the ground running.

I think it may be time to consider the net & Rapsodo for myself too.

Btw I think it's great there's so many of us in the same boat here. Let's keep the support and ideas flowing. All dad's need golf

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I've also been lucky that my work has been at home since March 2020. And from Oct-Dec 2019, I only went in 1 day a week. I wish my work would let us know if there's a long term plan to work from home, or split scheduling. If I could work from home permanent, I would alter my hours so I could go play during the week instead of Sat-Sun.

 

I do IT and data support. My company has 15 offices around the US, so the only person I talk to on a regular basis in my office is my direct supervisor.

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I have a 20 month old and it hasn't been easy to find time to play or practice.  At first there were the sort of obvious things that prevented me from playing, e.g. a newborn that required full time attention from my wife and myself.  Plus, watching what my wife went through to bring that wonderful little girl into the world made me want to do my fair share and not just leave her to fend for herself on the weekends.   Then as my daughter got a little older and more aware it became pretty obvious that she did not appreciate me being gone for five hours on the weekends.  No joke, it was heartbreaking to be getting ready to leave for a round with her toddler around behind me saying "up, up".  Because, of this I way scaled back on playing.  Dropping to maybe a round a month while using the big afternoon naps to sneak away to the range so that my game didn't go completely to crap.  It wasn't a big deal because like others said she was far and away my first priority. 

 

Still, I spent an inordinately large amount of time thinking about playing more until I realized a few things:  the first is that I am self-employed and have total control over my own schedule.  This means that I now have the ability to play during the week.  So once a week I'll find a tee time that's either junk time after a client meeting or I`ll just walk on to a course if I'm in the area.   I've actually found that it makes me more productive to scratch the itch than if i was just sitting at my desk grinding away wishing I could play.  The second is that I drive by my home course to drop my daughter off at daycare.  So, I practice and get my range time in once a week after I drop her off.  Third, this is the only hobby I have that I truly care about anymore so I've dropped some stuff that takes away both golf and family time.   It's been win win aside from not playing with my buddies as often.  I realize that I'm luckier than most to do this, but  the point is that I only hit upon these things after I started to try and figure out how to carve time out that didn't take away from time I spent with my wife and daughter.  You may not be able to play as ,much as I can, bit I guarantee there's a few slack hours that you can carve out for range time.  

 

Edited by Syks7
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When my children were young I made the most out of the day by being able to practice at home. I put in a golf green and a permanent hitting net. When they took a nap I could walk out the door and practice with baby monitor in tow. With nothing to put up or take down I could be practicing in less than 5 minutes. Saturday morning I would go early and play with friends. I would get home by noonish and take over and my wife could go do things she wanted to do. 

As they got older it got easier for me. We belong to a country club and the kids would go to the pool, take swimming, tennis, or golf lessons. That would be my time to play. Eventually I would take them out on the course for a couple of holes. The important thing is to let them find their own passion. My daughter decided that golf was not for her. She is 18 now and doesn't play. Golf was to slow for her. She enjoyed basketball, volleyball, and track and is a gifted athlete in all. She is going to college with a track scholarship and qualified for the Jr. Olympics. My son didn't enjoy golf until right before he went into high school and decided he wanted to be on the golf team. We had to scramble for a year to get him good enough to make the team. He had the basics but that was it. He made the team played for 4 years then stopped for a year. Now goes and plays with his friends. He is about to turn 20. I found that if you try to push them into something it will backfire. I let them try anything they wanted and let them tell me what they liked. Funny how kids are. My daughter wanted to be a cheerleader. After 1 season she said she would rather have people cheer for her. Then she joined the basketball team. She played a sport every season. No breaks for us or her. She is driven to be the best where as my son just wanted to be part of a team. So it was baseball and golf for him.

Obviously now I can play whenever I want. My daughter leaves for college in two weeks. Sort of an empty nest coming up. Enjoy the time you have while raising them. Let them find their passion and support them. 

 

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12 hours ago, DiscipleofPenick said:

I've been playing one course for a few years and have got to know the pro well. He already let's my wife come walk along with me, so I hope he lets me being the little one once their old enough.

From my brief experiences most if not everyone is happy to see her on the course getting them started young as she's having fun but follows etiquette well. 

  • Like 2

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, juspoole said:

I have shifted to a lot more driving range and 9 hole rounds than ever before.  Since COVID and work from home, I'll have the ability to do this over my lunch hour.  I think I've played once this golf season on the weekend.  When I was going into work normally, I just didn't get to play all that much. 

I have 6, 5, and 3 year old kids and just this past 18 months have been able to play golf like I could when it was just my oldest child (but that's daytime during the week).  For the other 5 year period, my rounds were around 12 for the year.  If I could get out once every 2/3 weeks, I was happy, but expectations were much different.  You might throw in another range session in between.  I also was trying to play as much as possible through work events too lol.

It looks like you already bring your 4 year old to the course at times, which would be one suggestion. 

Next is to try and get short practice sessions in during the work week if possible and/or 9 hole rounds.

Last would be to invest in a hitting net and some type of monitor (rapsodo or skytrak/mevo) so you have some data behind it.  This has been huge for me so that after winter is over I can hit the ground running.

Yes I can occasionally go during my lunch break and chip a few balls and putt but I think up next would be to get a hitting net at home to take some practice shots when I have the off free time around the house. 

  • Like 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, Syks7 said:

I have a 20 month old and it hasn't been easy to find time to play or practice.  At first there were the sort of obvious things that prevented me from playing, e.g. a newborn that required full time attention from my wife and myself.  Plus, watching what my wife went through to bring that wonderful little girl into the world made me want to do my fair share and not just leave her to fend for herself on the weekends.   Then as my daughter got a little older and more aware it became pretty obvious that she did not appreciate me being gone for five hours on the weekends.  No joke, it was heartbreaking to be getting ready to leave for a round with her toddler around behind me saying "up, up".  Because, of this I way scaled back on playing.  Dropping to maybe a round a month while using the big afternoon naps to sneak away to the range so that my game didn't go completely to crap.  It wasn't a big deal because like others said she was far and away my first priority. 

 

Still, I spent an inordinately large amount of time thinking about playing more until I realized a few things:  the first is that I am self-employed and have total control over my own schedule.  This means that I now have the ability to play during the week.  So once a week I'll find a tee time that's either junk time after a client meeting or I`ll just walk on to a course if I'm in the area.   I've actually found that it makes me more productive to scratch the itch than if i was just sitting at my desk grinding away wishing I could play.  The second is that I drive by my home course to drop my daughter off at daycare.  So, I practice and get my range time in once a week after I drop her off.  Third, this is the only hobby I have that I truly care about anymore so I've dropped some stuff that takes away both golf and family time.   It's been win win aside from not playing with my buddies as often.  I realize that I'm luckier than most to do this, but  the point is that I only hit upon these things after I started to try and figure out how to carve time out that didn't take away from time I spent with my wife and daughter.  You may not be able to play as ,much as I can, bit I guarantee there's a few slack hours that you can carve out for range time.  

 

Yeah the biggest thing is making sure the family is taken care of. My wife stays at home watching the two kids so I don't really like to go off and play on the weekends and leaving her with the kids which only allows me to play when family comes to visit or for the occasional office events. I'm hoping as the new little one gets a bit older the schedule will open up for us both to still get in quality time and each have a hobby of our own.

  • Like 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Tom the Golf Nut said:

When my children were young I made the most out of the day by being able to practice at home. I put in a golf green and a permanent hitting net. When they took a nap I could walk out the door and practice with baby monitor in tow. With nothing to put up or take down I could be practicing in less than 5 minutes. Saturday morning I would go early and play with friends. I would get home by noonish and take over and my wife could go do things she wanted to do. 

As they got older it got easier for me. We belong to a country club and the kids would go to the pool, take swimming, tennis, or golf lessons. That would be my time to play. Eventually I would take them out on the course for a couple of holes. The important thing is to let them find their own passion. My daughter decided that golf was not for her. She is 18 now and doesn't play. Golf was to slow for her. She enjoyed basketball, volleyball, and track and is a gifted athlete in all. She is going to college with a track scholarship and qualified for the Jr. Olympics. My son didn't enjoy golf until right before he went into high school and decided he wanted to be on the golf team. We had to scramble for a year to get him good enough to make the team. He had the basics but that was it. He made the team played for 4 years then stopped for a year. Now goes and plays with his friends. He is about to turn 20. I found that if you try to push them into something it will backfire. I let them try anything they wanted and let them tell me what they liked. Funny how kids are. My daughter wanted to be a cheerleader. After 1 season she said she would rather have people cheer for her. Then she joined the basketball team. She played a sport every season. No breaks for us or her. She is driven to be the best where as my son just wanted to be part of a team. So it was baseball and golf for him.

Obviously now I can play whenever I want. My daughter leaves for college in two weeks. Sort of an empty nest coming up. Enjoy the time you have while raising them. Let them find their passion and support them. 

 

Yes absolutely, I'll show her golf and if she's interested great if not then it's no big deal to me. I'm happy to take her and watch whatever it is they have a passion for whether it be sports or music and the arts. I'm drawn to the idea of having a hitting net at home as like you said it makes it very easy to pop in and out of practice as your schedule allows and cuts down on the time spent driving to and from the range. It can also be hard with young kids to physically schedule time to play or practice but having the ability to just pop in the backyard when time presents itself really opens up the opportunity for practice. 

  • Like 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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Can’t wait to be able to share the course with my kids one day. One on the way in October and let the countdown begin until they are old enough!

  • Like 2

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5 minutes ago, RollingGreens said:

Can’t wait to be able to share the course with my kids one day. One on the way in October and let the countdown begin until they are old enough!

It undoubtedly changes your life but in some of the best ways, congratulations!

  • Like 1

Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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