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Golf as a New Dad


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Communication with the wife has been the biggest adjustment.  Keeping a solid calendar and allowing participate in her hobbies.  The thing that has disappeared the most is the last second "I'm going to go play golf this afternoon" request. 

 

Also, everything said by Kanoito is super helpful.  Including the kids when you can makes is so much better.  Played 9 holes with my 8 year old the other day and he wanted to keep score for the very first time so I made up some holes for him on the course.   150-170 was a par 5, 100-140 par 4, 50-70 par 3.  It was honestly the most enjoyable 9 holes I've ever played. 

19 hours ago, Kanoito said:

My kids are my top priority, so I only choose to play golf when they are sleeping, at a friend's house or my wife has taken them somewhere.

I usually sacrifice sleep, wake up at 5, tee off at 6, finish 18 by 9 and be home by 10 on weekends. Kids are probably just waking up and we can still have breakfast together.

Other times, if the kids feel like smacking balls on the range, we go together. Sometimes my daughter just likes to run around, so I play 9 holes while she walks with me.

 

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great topic here. i’ve got a 10 month old son, and actually only started golfing a month or two before he was born. thanks, covid!

im self employed, so a flexible schedule makes life really easy. i get 1-2 rounds in every week.  i’ve been toying with the idea of joining a club to play more, but i think that idea will be more realistic when our kids are a few years old so we could make great use of a family membership  

usually my wife and i sit down sunday evening and go over what our week looks like. then i say “mind if i play friday morning?” 

i try offsetting my rounds with family activities with her and our son. she’s happy to give me time for the things i enjoy as long as she feels the effort is there to spend time with her as well. 

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As others have said, communication. I can’t do the “hey let’s go get 18 in today” anymore, which is ok. Planning and letting the wife know is how I am able to. 
also she knows I really enjoy playing and that’s time I need for me sometimes. Helps having a woman that gets it!

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1 hour ago, den748 said:

Communication with the wife has been the biggest adjustment.  Keeping a solid calendar and allowing participate in her hobbies.  The thing that has disappeared the most is the last second "I'm going to go play golf this afternoon" request. 

 

Also, everything said by Kanoito is super helpful.  Including the kids when you can makes is so much better.  Played 9 holes with my 8 year old the other day and he wanted to keep score for the very first time so I made up some holes for him on the course.   150-170 was a par 5, 100-140 par 4, 50-70 par 3.  It was honestly the most enjoyable 9 holes I've ever played. 

 

100% agreed re: the communication aspect - the spur of the moment golf is officially dead for me, but if I am planning well I can usually make it work; it just usually means I am playing solo or with 1-2 other friends rather than accommodating three other guys' schedules to get a foursome together.

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13 minutes ago, Chip Strokes said:

great topic here. i’ve got a 10 month old son, and actually only started golfing a month or two before he was born. thanks, covid!

im self employed, so a flexible schedule makes life really easy. i get 1-2 rounds in every week.  i’ve been toying with the idea of joining a club to play more, but i think that idea will be more realistic when our kids are a few years old so we could make great use of a family membership  

usually my wife and i sit down sunday evening and go over what our week looks like. then i say “mind if i play friday morning?” 

i try offsetting my rounds with family activities with her and our son. she’s happy to give me time for the things i enjoy as long as she feels the effort is there to spend time with her as well. 

Yes I am definitely in the same boat here where I did not have this expansive golf schedule before our children to then grind down to something that works within the family unit. My wife and I also have the same routine of sitting down and plotting out the week but I feel too guilty to ask for a full golf round at the moment as she spends so much time at home with the kids and does not really get IMO enough time for just herself to not be a wife or mom so it can be tough. It's also been hard to find other Dads who are in the same boat because I don't get out often enough to golf and make buddies on the course so it's fantastic to hear from other fathers here. 

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11 minutes ago, Lacassem said:

As others have said, communication. I can’t do the “hey let’s go get 18 in today” anymore, which is ok. Planning and letting the wife know is how I am able to. 
also she knows I really enjoy playing and that’s time I need for me sometimes. Helps having a woman that gets it!

Yeah that went out the window across the board with all things even beyond golf after the first child. Planning and communication makes for some healthy boundaries and expectations for sure. 

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Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

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I've got 3 girls now. I'm lucky to work right next to a golf course so I can get my practice is during lunch breaks. As far as playing, I try to either go super early in the morning or bring my oldest out with me. Not always to pull off. I certainly do not play anywhere near as much as I'd like to, but such is life. Got to have priorities. 

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Just now, scooterhd2 said:

I've got 3 girls now. I'm lucky to work right next to a golf course so I can get my practice is during lunch breaks. As far as playing, I try to either go super early in the morning or bring my oldest out with me. Not always to pull off. I certainly do not play anywhere near as much as I'd like to, but such is life. Got to have priorities. 

How often do you go out to practice at lunch?

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3 minutes ago, TheProfessor02 said:

It's also been hard to find other Dads who are in the same boat because I don't get out often enough to golf and make buddies on the course so it's fantastic to hear from other fathers here. 

i play 90+% of my rounds as a single because i can’t commit to a weekly game 

a few times a year, my dad, brother in law, a few buddies and i plan a nice round a month or so in advance so we can all clear our schedules. my brother in law and i usually convince our wives (my wife and my sister) to hang out and then we meet them for dinner after. 

that’s really the only way i’ve found to get out with a group of guys. other than that i’m at the mercy of whoever course pairs me up with haha

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5 minutes ago, TheProfessor02 said:

How often do you go out to practice at lunch?

I was going 5 times a week for the last 2 years. But recently started working out at the gym at work. So I have been hitting that at lunch and only golfing one time a week. Eventually I hope to balance them out more but I have some major lbs to lose first. Plus I'm hoping the weight lifting will help out the golf game some. 

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3 minutes ago, Chip Strokes said:

i play 90+% of my rounds as a single because i can’t commit to a weekly game 

a few times a year, my dad, brother in law, a few buddies and i plan a nice round a month or so in advance so we can all clear our schedules. my brother in law and i usually convince our wives (my wife and my sister) to hang out and then we meet them for dinner after. 

that’s really the only way i’ve found to get out with a group of guys. other than that i’m at the mercy of whoever course pairs me up with haha

Hahaha yeah man it's like looking in a mirror it's practically a major party event to get a group together at this point but I really don't mind being a single as you tend to meet some interesting people from all walks of life to talk to and play with during the round. We are at a bit of disadvantage with child raising as we have no family in the state and with the 3 month old it's either me or my wife that watches the kids and the weekends are prime time for me to get to play with my two little buddies. 

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1 minute ago, scooterhd2 said:

I was going 5 times a week for the last 2 years. But recently started working out at the gym at work. So I have been hitting that at lunch and only golfing one time a week. Eventually I hope to balance them out more but I have some major lbs to lose first. Plus I'm hoping the weight lifting will help out the golf game some. 

Oh wow that's awesome, I have a course that isn't the highest quality but they do have a driving range and a place to putt about 5 min from my office so I can sneak out there for 45 min from time to time. 

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Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Chip Strokes said:

i play 90+% of my rounds as a single because i can’t commit to a weekly game 

a few times a year, my dad, brother in law, a few buddies and i plan a nice round a month or so in advance so we can all clear our schedules. my brother in law and i usually convince our wives (my wife and my sister) to hang out and then we meet them for dinner after. 

that’s really the only way i’ve found to get out with a group of guys. other than that i’m at the mercy of whoever course pairs me up with haha

I’m in a similar boat as you Chip. 
 

The singular, most important aspect of this is just being honest with your spouse. Regardless of how much we all adore our kids, we need the break.  It’s so important to spread ourselves out between work, family and a hobby. That hobby for most of us is golf and it’s a great way for me (speaking for myself) to get a little break. 
 

My wife and I have a standing agreement that we each get our own time for golf or a spa or dinner with friends as a healthy release. Fortunately, I have an amazing wife who has never said no to my desire to play. 

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1 minute ago, bens197 said:

I’m in a similar boat as you Chip. 
 

The singular, most important aspect of this is just being honest with your spouse. Regardless of how much we all adore our kids, we need the break.  It’s so important to spread ourselves out between work, family and a hobby. That hobby for most of us is golf and it’s a great way for me (speaking for myself) to get a little break. 
 

My wife and I have a standing agreement that we each get our own time for golf or a spa or dinner with friends as a healthy release. Fortunately, I have an amazing wife who has never said no to my desire to play. 

That's awesome you guys have the agreement and it definitely is best in the long run for all parties involved. 

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Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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10 minutes ago, TheProfessor02 said:

Oh wow that's awesome, I have a course that isn't the highest quality but they do have a driving range and a place to putt about 5 min from my office so I can sneak out there for 45 min from time to time. 

Thats exactly my situation. I've only played the course twice because it is not great, but the putting green and chipping areas are above average. And theres a range. I've got an hour lunch, so easy to get a 45 minute session in. 

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I too have 2 daughters that are 4 years old and 5 months old.  We have a public course where i keep my golf cart.  Its nice because my oldest loves to ride or steer the cart.  Sometimes ill use that as an excuse to go get a round in.  Other times The wife and I will trade off days to do stuff so we both get free time to ourselves.  Works out pretty well for the most part. 

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I'm just starting to navigate this journey myself. I'm picking golf back up right as my kid is turning 2. His life up til now has had a lot of my time/attention due to covid life, but this is something the wife and i are trying to transition away from in a healthy manner. 

 

It's also a matter of "reset time" like some others have pointed out, and being able to communicate and schedule properly when theres time to go play without making it too much of a strain. 

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1 hour ago, TG8 said:

I too have 2 daughters that are 4 years old and 5 months old.  We have a public course where i keep my golf cart.  Its nice because my oldest loves to ride or steer the cart.  Sometimes ill use that as an excuse to go get a round in.  Other times The wife and I will trade off days to do stuff so we both get free time to ourselves.  Works out pretty well for the most part. 

That's great to hear, yeah whether the older ones gets into golf or not it never hurts to bring them out and have a fun day outdoors with Dad. 

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Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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56 minutes ago, rx1232 said:

I'm just starting to navigate this journey myself. I'm picking golf back up right as my kid is turning 2. His life up til now has had a lot of my time/attention due to covid life, but this is something the wife and i are trying to transition away from in a healthy manner. 

 

It's also a matter of "reset time" like some others have pointed out, and being able to communicate and schedule properly when theres time to go play without making it too much of a strain. 

Oh man toddler stage is absolutely a great time to start establishing some personal time for both you and your spouse as the kids start to test you in more challenging ways. 

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Driver: :titelist-small: - 913 D3

Wood: :callaway-small: - 3W Big Bertha Steelhead

Irons: :ping-small: - Eye 2 3-SW

Putter: :cleveland-small: - Huntington Beach SOFT 8.5

Ball: :Snell: - MTB-X 

Data: :ShotScope: - V3

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, bens197 said:

It’s so important to spread ourselves out between work, family and a hobby.

well said!

both my hobbies are solitary endeavors. i play golf and ride motorcycles. so it’s this weird dynamic where me “enjoying myself” means spending hours at a time away from my wife and son. 

i’m happy to balance that out with as many family outings as she can plan for us. it’s the whole reason we moved out of NYC to a more rural setting. there’s so much to do here for a young family that she’s always got something planned for the 3 of us. 

if i ever felt like those scales were tipping too far and they were on the short end, i’d give up golf tomorrow. it’s amazing to read you all feel the same way, because i know how much everyone here loves golf 

 

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