Yellow Ball Roast's

[GolfSpy_SHARK]

17 minutes ago, Yellow Ball said:

Dragged you down! I'm the victim here...... If you guys kept me in play I'd have nothing to post about.

Listen all I know is a yellow flag in the navy means stay away from The ship as there is a disease on board…..I was just hitting you away so you didn’t get folks sick!

[Shankster]

14 minutes ago, Lacassem said:

Listen all I know is a yellow flag in the navy means stay away from The ship as there is a disease on board…..I was just hitting you away so you didn’t get folks sick!

He didn’t notice, but I raised the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot flags when he was nearby.  I’m no signalman, but the regular meaning of those words pretty much explains what he likely witnessed…

[Yellow Ball]

Hey look over there its @sirchunksalot on the range. Got to roll over go spend some time with him.  He’s been putting in a lot of practice. I think he is addicted to foot spray! But his clubs do smell good when we have our face to face connection. Off to the first tee. Well his first tee shot put me in the right rough. Wouldn’t have been too bad if I brought my weed eater.  

 

So while he was going on safari looking for me I took the opportunity to roll on over and have a chat with his better half. I think we hit it off pretty well. She got caught up in my stories and we actually drove off and left Sir Chunks behind looking. I think we look pretty good together! I felt guilty and got back with Jason.

 

After a wonderful recovery shot I made my way back to the fairway so I was pretty happy with myself. It didn’t last long, but I did manage to find some shade again. Now I know how he got his name. I never saw a divot fly straight up flip and land the way that one did. I didn't even get to move at all. I also know what I look like with hair now!

Are afro's back in style?

 

I think just a tad more practice and getting his rotation and weight shift correct and he will be just fine!  Maybe!

[sirchunksalot]

11 minutes ago, Yellow Ball said:

Hey look over there its @sirchunksalot on the range. Got to roll over go spend some time with him.  He’s been putting in a lot of practice. I think he is addicted to foot spray! But his clubs do smell good when we have our face to face connection. Off to the first tee. Well his first tee shot put me in the right rough. Wouldn’t have been too bad if I brought my weed eater.  

 

So while he was going on safari looking for me I took the opportunity to roll on over and have a chat with his better half. I think we hit it off pretty well. She got caught up in my stories and we actually drove off and left Sir Chunks behind looking. I think we look pretty good together! I felt guilty and got back with Jason.

 

After a wonderful recovery shot I made my way back to the fairway so I was pretty happy with myself. It didn’t last long, but I did manage to find some shade again. Now I know how he got his name. I never saw a divot fly straight up flip and land the way that one did. I didn't even get to move at all. I also know what I look like with hair now!

Are afro's back in style?

 

I think just a tad more practice and getting his rotation and weight shift correct and he will be just fine!  Maybe!

Thanks for coming down to visit @Yellow Ball. I hope I was able to provide you with enough shade, both in the grass and with a turf cover, to keep you cool on these muggy days. I also hope you kept hydrated as you can sweat a lot on those rare moments you were in the fairway. 

My wife said she enjoyed your company as she loves good conversation and enjoyed laughing along with you while watching my hack my way around the course. 

[Yellow Ball]

On 9/1/2021 at 3:55 PM, Shankster said:

 In my defense, a majority of those posts came while I was trapped inside an igloo in the UP for 3 winters. 
 

WX is an abbreviation for Weather.  

Yellow Ball was tired from all the adventures and sat down to watch a movie this weekend. I put on "Stripes" with Bill Murray. What are the odds!

Wouldn't you know it, while the drill sergeant was talking to one of the army recruits he said. "Lighten up Francis or you will spend the rest of your career in an igloo at the North Pole checking the weather".  Hmmmm. You must have screwed up didn't you! 

[Shankster]

4 hours ago, Yellow Ball said:

Yellow Ball was tired from all the adventures and sat down to watch a movie this weekend. I put on "Stripes" with Bill Murray. What are the odds!

Wouldn't you know it, while the drill sergeant was talking to one of the army recruits he said. "Lighten up Francis or you will spend the rest of your career in an igloo at the North Pole checking the weather".  Hmmmm. You must have screwed up didn't you! 

Haha.  Nope, I requested it… twice!

[Yellow Ball]

So it is was just to freaking hot down in AZ so I got on a flight up to Boston. Had to fly baggage again. But at least the fare is cheap. I met up with @B.Boston for a bit.  I was in one of my moods from having to fly in baggage, so I decided to have some fun with him. As I’m cruising down the fairway from a great tee shot I quickly look back and see him smiling and obviously pleased with himself. As I landed, I quickly looked around and saw a slight depression with a leaf nearby. I quickly rolled myself in and pulled the leaf over myself.

 

So as he nears the spot where he thinks I am, he sees nothing. He looked left, looks right, he looks down the fairway (thinking he smoked one, ha ha) and nothing. I could barely hold in my laughter. Now he just starts a slow burn. Then his blood was boiling. He kind of looked like me when I got sunburnt playing with @chisag . Then Boston came out in him. Nothing makes him madder than losing a ball in the fairway.  Boy did I enjoy that. I guess being a Red Sox fan he is used to losing things anyway!  I’m going over to the Bull &Finch pub for a quick beer and tell Norm what I did. He’s always there with his beer goggles on.  “Hey Norm let me tell you what I did to @B.Boston today...  ”

 

 

[GolfSpy BOS]

11 minutes ago, Yellow Ball said:

So it is was just to freaking hot down in AZ so I got on a flight up to Boston. Had to fly baggage again. But at least the fare is cheap. I met up with @B.Boston for a bit.  I was in one of my moods from having to fly in baggage, so I decided to have some fun with him. As I’m cruising down the fairway from a great tee shot I quickly look back and see him smiling and obviously pleased with himself. As I landed, I quickly looked around and saw a slight depression with a leaf nearby. I quickly rolled myself in and pulled the leaf over myself.

 

So as he nears the spot where he thinks I am, he sees nothing. He looked left, looks right, he looks down the fairway (thinking he smoked one, ha ha) and nothing. I could barely hold in my laughter. Now he just starts a slow burn. Then his blood was boiling. He kind of looked like me when I got sunburnt playing with @chisag . Then Boston came out in him. Nothing makes him madder than losing a ball in the fairway.  Boy did I enjoy that. I guess being a Red Sox fan he is used to losing things anyway!  I’m going over to the Bull &Finch pub for a quick beer and tell Norm what I did. He’s always there with his beer goggles on.  “Hey Norm let me tell you what I did to @B.Boston today...  ”

 

 

Brilliant.

there is NOTHING worse than losing a ball in the middle of the freaking fairway! Unless it’s @Lacassem’s ball.

[JohnSmalls]

This keeps getting better and better. 

[Yellow Ball]

Rant for today,

I decided not to pick on anyone today even though I do have a large inventory of stories to tell. Sorry to disappoint you. But I need to express some of my feeling based on direction from my therapist. I’m sure she wanted me to be tactful but that’s just not me! So let me tell you about what’s making me mad today!

                                                                                             

 

I’m getting pretty tired of some of you guys. Just because I grew up on the wrong side of town and my last name is not “Urethane” it doesn’t mean you can say screw it and not look for me. The Surlyn family has feelings too!

You know who you are and I know who you are. Don’t make me call you out here. Just because you get pissed at a bad shot don’t take it out on me! Take your three minutes and give me a look for. If you still have your hearing (some of you are questionable) listen closely. It’s me yelling out “I’m over here”. My voice doesn’t carry much. You know, no lungs to speak of but maybe a few air bubbles under the cover. I know we can do better together on the next shot.

For many of you who hit it in the right or left rough off the tee and you know who you are. Face the facts Jack. You didn’t hit it that far. Start looking for me sooner. Even a blind squirrel can find a nut so you have no excuse. I can’t even remember the last time you hit it as far as you think you did. Don’t pull that crap about it should be right here so I’ll drop here.  Nice try!

You know Yellow Ball is always looking for a good time out with the boys. It’s ok to bend the rules a little to keep your round moving along and as long as you are not posting for handicap purposes. (Sorry I had to qualify that there are some strict rules followers waiting to jump my rear dimples.) 

Back to my point, moving up 20 to 30 yards and dropping is embarrassing for me and for you. I guess I’ll start having to bring my camera and then do my own “Most Wanted”. I’ll treat it like the Post Office mug shots. If  When I catch you I’ll send you a PM and the fee will be $10.00 for me not to blast your picture up for all to see. All funds collected will go toward two great charities, MGS and the Yellow Ball Refurbishment program. Send you payment directly to MGS and tell them I sent you! 

 Sorry but Yellow ball is not wealthy. Like I mentioned earlier I’m not a “Urethane”. I'm the guy you pull out of the bag on those shots over water, a ravine, or a tight tree lined fairway because you don't want to lose "Mr. Urethane"!  I need money for refurbishment often thanks to you guys. I need therapy once a week for my mental health. Think about it every bad shot you hit you blame me. You try to lose me often and try to hit me as hard as you can. What is really sad is when you hit me in the water you leave me to drown. Thank goodness “That Guy” shows up with his ball retriever and brings me to safety.  It takes a toll on me. Hopefully I don't burn out another therapist listening to all my issues.

Ok, rant over. I’ll pick on somebody specific next time……. Ohhhh the options, who shall it be!

[Yellow Ball]

I decided to hit NY after my trip to Boston. Got in town a day early and went and took a picture at one of my bucket list courses. I was pretty sure I would get to play it the next day with @cksurfdude. Then I read the sign closely. "Highly Skilled Golfers"  

                                                          

I met @cksurfdude for lunch at a nice little Italian place for a slice of pizza. What’s better than NY pizza? “Nothing”. After lunch we went and played a bit.  Unfortunately my bucket list course will have to wait. He took me to a different course closer to the shore. Well I now know why we had a slice of pizza. His first tee shot with me was a SLLLIIIICE high and right off the tee! I should have known that was coming.

At least I had a nice view of the Long Island Sound while I was up there!  Pretty rocky shoreline. Not quite what I expected. I thought I saw one of my buddies while air-born.

                                   

 

After a couple more shots. Some decent and some a little disappointing, I ditched @cksurfdude.  I cut down to the beach to meet up with my buddy. Well it was a case of mistaken identity.  

                                                                 

If @cksurfdude took me to Bethpage maybe I would have stuck around longer. Nahhh who am I kidding he would have lost me anyway. But he has been putting in the work lately. Chipping in the yard with birdie balls (a few covered in dog slobber). Glad the dogs didn’t get a hold of me. I might have wound up with a few more dimples. Practice make perfect!  Keep it up.

I was so ready for the Black Course though. Maybe next time I’m in the area.

 

 

[Yellow Ball]

Ohio boy’s trip. The hype, the trash talk, ohhh and the disappointing golf shots. Need I say more! So I knew there would be a bunch of hackers out there but now I know why the used golf ball market is flourishing.

I read about the grandstands going up and interviews with Amanda but that seemed to just be a load of crap to get me out there. @tony@CIC was boasting about an interview with Amanda. Did anyone see pictures…NO... then it didn’t happen. I guess he just isn’t as important as I am because Amanda gave me a personal tour of one of the tour vans and gave me a little tender loving care last week. She also invited me to a photo shoot. We’ll get back to that later.

 Quick thinking on my part and a little self-preservation as well. Hung out with Tony wife (you know I have a way with the women) and watched the poor display of driving over the pond with my binoculars.

Except for @Mr_Theoo  He cleared it! Finally someone with some horsepower.

Now that I thought the danger was subsiding a little, and they were warmed up I headed out with the boys. Well in true form I was all over the place. I took Tony’s advice and brought my flag so they could find me. You know not everyone hits the green!  Well except for @stuka44 he always hits a green (Ball that is!).

That was the biggest flag I could carry but Tony still couldn't find me. Perhaps if he hit it closer to the green that might help... just saying!

I thought I was in the Army…. Left, Right, Left, Right, Left… Every one took turns hitting me in the wrong direction. I think all the boys took pleasure in roughing me up. @MaxEntropy hit me so far off to the right he couldn’t find me in the tall grass. Next thing you know I’m air born again and I find myself up in this eagle’s nest. This dam bird must have though I fell out of the nest. Took me a while to wiggle out and get down from there. Not to mention all the tree limbs I hit on the way down.

Yes that's me up here and its not funny!

I got myself together and hooked up with @DiscipleofPenick on the back 9 for the second par three. I heard he dunked one on the last par three so I thought he learned his lesson and would club up. I must just have some bad luck because when there’s water, there is a highly likely hood that Yellow Ball will be in it. Yup in the drink! They didn’t warn me there would be monsters in the waters of Ohio looking for a Yellow Ball snack.

 

So I thought this would be a great time, but too many spies hitting me everywhere took its toll.  

That last round in the water was enough for me. I rolled back over to Tony's house and his wife dried me off. That felt so nice!  I couldn't stay long. I wanted to get out of there before Tony got home and found me with his wife. I didn't want to wind up in a pond again  I quickly checked my email and look what Amanda sent me. I will cherish our time together forever. Jealous Tony!

  

  

 

[Yellow Ball]

I hooked up with @Tom the Golf Nut a few weeks back. I was looking forward to playing with someone that could find a fairway off the tee for a change. He didn’t disappoint me. So this is what they look like!

However he came up short on his approach (again) and I wound up at the beach. Heck, I needed to work on my tan anyway. Seems to me he should look to invest in beach front property. He spends enough time there!

I prefer Banana Boat sun tanning oil. Somehow the colors of the bottle just draw me to it. 

 

Have you ever noticed @Tom the Golf Nut mentions about all the fairways hit and the low round scores in the How'd you play post but conveniently doesn’t say much about the GIR’s. Well I can see why! I see there is room for improvement there. At least after he kicked sand all over my face he left me in position for a sand save.

I guess I shouldn’t pick on him too much. At least he never lost me like some of you other spies (Names withheld to protect the guilty).  

 

 

 

[sirchunksalot]

41 minutes ago, Yellow Ball said:

I hooked up with @Tom the Golf Nut a few weeks back. I was looking forward to playing with someone that could find a fairway off the tee for a change. He didn’t disappoint me. So this is what they look like!

However he came up short on his approach (again) and I wound up at the beach. Heck, I needed to work on my tan anyway. Seems to me he should look to invest in beach front property. He spends enough time there!

I prefer Banana Boat sun tanning oil. Somehow the colors of the bottle just draw me to it. 

 

Have you ever noticed @Tom the Golf Nut mentions about all the fairways hit and the low round scores in the How'd you play post but conveniently doesn’t say much about the GIR’s. Well I can see why! I see there is room for improvement there. At least after he kicked sand all over my face he left me in position for a sand save.

I guess I shouldn’t pick on him too much. At least he never lost me like some of you other spies (Names withheld to protect the guilty).  

 

 

 

Love the outfit @Yellow Ball! I think Tom loves sticking his toes in the sand, so if you return for another trip to see him you'll be seeing it again. 

[Vegan_Golfer_PNW]

The little yellow ball that could. You have an agent for a book series yet? Would love to play a round with you but likely would loose you in the woods

[JohnSmalls]

Did @B.Boston ever take you for a ride on his duck boat?  It's all he ever talks about.

[Yellow Ball]

20 hours ago, rbsiedsc said:

The little yellow ball that could. You have an agent for a book series yet? Would love to play a round with you but likely would loose you in the woods

I was just out your way a few weeks ago. Was I with you? Or was I with a few of you. You shall soon see! I wanted to get out to that area before all that white crap starts falling and then I would be lost for the winter and freezing my ball off. Yellow Ball goes south for the winter! Got to pick on those southern guys with their sissy little umbrella drinks.   

[Yellow Ball]

14 hours ago, JohnSmalls said:

Did @B.Boston ever take you for a ride on his duck boat?  It's all he ever talks about.

It seems that nobody thinks of taking me boating! I just live around the golf courses. Do you know why he has a duck boat? 

A) That's all the boat he could afford.

B) Duck boats have blinds. That's where he goes to hide when the Yankees put a whoop ass on the Red Sox.

C) He yells duck on the golf course so much that a Duck Boat just made sense.

D All of the above!

 

[tony@CIC]

12 hours ago, Yellow Ball said:

 Yellow Ball goes south for the winter! 

I've heard Florida Pythons love yellow balls, they like to cozy up to them. 

[Yellow Ball]

12 hours ago, tony@CIC said:

I've heard Florida Pythons love yellow balls, they like to cozy up to them. 

If you guys can't keep me down, I'm sure some old snake can't. He might swallow me but I'm sure eventually I'll come back up. Then one of you will hit me in the water anyway and I get a free bath.

But speaking of cozying up. After an errant shot by one of you proficient golfers (and I use the term loosely) I think I have met the future Mrs. Ball.

After I was hit I rolled into the shade of a mushroom to wait out the search and there she was! 

Ohhhhhh that hot pink turns me on.

[JohnSmalls]

10 hours ago, Yellow Ball said:

If you guys can't keep me down, I'm sure some old snake can't. He might swallow me but I'm sure eventually I'll come back up. Then one of you will hit me in the water anyway and I get a free bath.

But speaking of cozying up. After an errant shot by one of you proficient golfers (and I use the term loosely) I think I have met the future Mrs. Ball.

After I was hit I rolled into the shade of a mushroom to wait out the search and there she was! 

Ohhhhhh that hot pink turns me on.

Why’s she upside down already?

[tony@CIC]

50 minutes ago, JohnSmalls said:

Why’s she upside down already?

'Head over heels' for yellow ball? 

[Yellow Ball]

On 9/30/2021 at 8:34 AM, JohnSmalls said:

Why’s she upside down 

Come on man can't you tell, that's her smiling with her eyes closed or if you rather she`s head over heels for me.

  I'll take her with me when it's time for a refurbishent. I just have to make sure it isn't the same gal that touched me up last time. You know I always need a backup plan. If I wasn't born a Yellow Ball I'm sure I would have been a dog!

Edited October 12, 2021 by Yellow Ball

[Yellow Ball]

So I know you were all waiting for some of my trip highlights from out west so here is one of them.

Finally a nice Spy…. @dlow206 paid for my flight out west. No baggage for me this time. I thought this was going to be a great experience. Not so much!  Airport security was a challenge. As I rolled through the scanner the alarm went off. This guy pulled me to the side and then he felt me up. I hate it when a guy grabs my ball in that manner. I'm just not that kind of guy! Well I finally got through and on the plane. I got my own window seat, movie and not to mention a pretty sweet flight attendant too! The plane wasn’t full so just as they closed the door some rump roast got up and changed his seat. Immediately day light was gone! This mo mo didn’t see me and sat right on my face. Ohhhhh the horror, the horror!  Hey I’m not smiling here I’m trying to get the taste out of my mouth. What did this guy eat…..Fish Taco’s. After he realized there was Yellow Ball up his keister. He moved back to his original seat.  Sorry guy, I didn't mean to bite but there was self preservation involved here!!!!! 

The dam airlines don't take into consideration the little people in the world. I wanted to look out the window but all I could do was bounce up take a peak, land, bounce up, look, and so on.

 

I somehow managed to get a lot of the passengers nervous. My carry on was two life preservers. Figured I would need two based on the spies I was going to see! All the sudden everybody was worried about the plane. They thought I knew something that they didn't. They all started pushing the call button for the flight attendant. So she came over to me and then all the sudden she wasn't so sweet anymore. 

 I was rolling a little late due to flight delays and having to stop for some Listerine.  I did catch up to @dlow206 on the 14^th hole. Looks like he was playing decently. Well the wheels fell off on 15. Sorry, my bad. I tend to wind up with all of you at the worst time.  Not only did I go swimming I went in the drink twice. (Note to dlow don’t look at the score card).  I was worried at the start because he had just gone through another swing and grip change. Lucky for me I had packed two life preservers for this trip. I was starting to wear the other one out (thanks guys for all the use....NOT...) Well the life vests came in handy. Did I mention I went in twice! No…Ok Twice on the same dam hole.

I told @dlow he wasn’t going to break into the 80’s that way. He was so close too! But I’m sure he will have a new club or two, or three, next time I see him.

I also know why he shaved his beard. It a lot easier to swim to come get me without one. Stick with what’s working, no more swing changes or a new coach. You are getting close to your goal. I see the commitment and potential.   We can do this!

 

[sirchunksalot]

I'm glad you had a safe flight @Yellow Ball and getting out west to visit some fellow spies is a good thing. I hope you and pink ball had a good time getting to know each other the other day. Wait a minute...you two have the same last name. Is there something we need to know? 

 

[Yellow Ball]

1 hour ago, sirchunksalot said:

I'm glad you had a safe flight @Yellow Ball and getting out west to visit some fellow spies is a good thing. I hope you and pink ball had a good time getting to know each other the other day. Wait a minute...you two have the same last name. Is there something we need to know? 

 

Whoa big guy, I never called her Pink Ball you did! I said the potential "Future Mrs. Ball. Don't get ahead of yourself we are still trying to work through some issues. She feels I'm just a little to harsh on people. Just what I freakin need, a woman with sensitivity issues! 

[dlow206]

I have finally made it in life, I have appeared in the @Yellow Ball thread

[PMookie]

Well, @Yellow Ball, it appears that you and your “pink lady” have been VERY busy as of late. You may want to talk with a “uBALLogist” about getting “sliced” before you have more kids than you can sell, I mean, “take care of”.

[Yellow Ball]

2 hours ago, PMookie said:

Well, @Yellow Ball, it appears that you and your “pink lady” have been VERY busy as of late. You may want to talk with a “uBALLogist” about getting “sliced” before you have more kids than you can sell, I mean, “take care of”.

Shush on this one. That was not from my pink friend. If she sees this photo it's all over. I know I'd like to roll around with her but it's a work in progress. She doesn't know about my trip and time I spent in the mid west. And how dare you suggest I get snipped. Haven’t you heard about the potential ball shortage. I'm trying to do my part to increase the supply.

Hell this is even worse than office gossip. Someone's always talking about you behind your back or trying to rat you out.  People and their smart phones taking pictures when you don't want them to! Who signed you up for paparazzi duty? You just need to go play some golf and stop losing balls!

 

[PMookie]

57 minutes ago, Yellow Ball said:

Shush on this one. That was not from my pink friend. If she sees this photo it's all over. I know I'd like to roll around with her but it's a work in progress. She doesn't know about my trip and time I spent in the mid west. And how dare you suggest I get snipped. Haven’t you heard about the potential ball shortage. I'm trying to do my part to increase the supply.

Hell this is even worse than office gossip. Someone's always talking about you behind your back or trying to rat you out.  People and their smart phones taking pictures when you don't want them to! Who signed you up for paparazzi duty? You just need to go play some golf and stop losing balls!

 

And thus the surlyn shortage. Might need to “slow your roll”!