Yellow Ball Roast's

[Kenny B]

On 10/11/2021 at 12:19 PM, CarlH said:

In my defense, I was pretty drunk.  I've had enough of Oregon, BTW .... headed off to another pasture soon.  Arkansas will be the future home.  I'm going to invite @Yellow Ballto visit me as my guest at our Member Guest tournament.  Bear in mind, that a substantial entrance fee will be required....I did mention that you were paying for the both of us, plus all buy ins and side bets, right?

I guess you were drunk!!  @Yellow Ball ended up in mighty strange places.  Nice shot!!

[Rickp]

15 minutes ago, Kenny B said:

I guess you were drunk!!  @Yellow Ball ended up in mighty strange places.  Nice shot!!

Soft landing, no dent!  Not like the one I put in the side of a Porsche. 

[Yellow Ball]

On 10/12/2021 at 8:39 AM, tony@CIC said:

I'd like to extend a personal invitation to our Member-Guest day. Entrance fee is only $200. which includes lunch, dinner, prizes, and a pair of shoes. Oh wait - you don't have any feet - sorry. 

Don't pick on my lack of feet. Let me show you what I got on my trip to the Netherlands. Figured these cool wooden shoes would help me in shallow water.

 

 

[Yellow Ball]

5 hours ago, Kenny B said:

I guess you were drunk!!  @Yellow Ball ended up in mighty strange places.  Nice shot!!

That's not me that's my cousin Chomper. He lives in Oregon, the beaver state. You can tell by his teeth. Tell him I said Bite Me. He'll know what you mean.

[Yellow Ball]

Before I left Oregon I had a visit with @rbsiedsc. While I was in out there some things came to light. There are quite a few spies out there that are trying so hard to master this game of golf. I mean he is trying pretty hard here. To start, who in their right mind would swing a driver between two houses with barely enough room to swing? Then goes in the garage to swing and has the same issue. Just ask his garage door opener! Just a thought here…… If you swinging in a confined area you will not have a free flowing swing. You will compensate for the area and ingrain an improper swing.

So now we know why his driver sends me off into the oblivion!

Did you know @rbseidsc likes to hike? He says that because finding his drive requires a hike. For someone who says he likes to hike, he sure took his time getting to me. I started to panic.

 Even if he manages to get his driver in check (hopefully sometime soon). Then I think working on the putter would help get you consistently in the low 90’s to possibly even breaking into the 80”s. When I was out on the course with him he had 8 three putts. I felt like a freakin ping pong ball. That’s an easy 8 strokes to take off right there! He had a heck of a day. He even got hit in the back.

So Dr. Jekyll here was positive in July. "Happy that things were coming along with his game". Then in August, Mr. Hyde came out and made comments like, “Ugh golf is a cruel game. I just need to accept who I am.” Here is another beauty, “Contemplating not playing again. Swing changes are hard.”

 Oh boo hoo here. No sympathy from Yellow Ball. If you think getting through these issues are tough try being me. All golfers went through it. It will get better! I’m thinking I need to send you my therapist’s contact information. Yes, golf is hard, swing changes are hard.  You can get this game under control.

So you wanted to be my agent for a book did ya. Well it already seems like you can crack under pressure. How could you deal with the likes of me on a daily basis? I’m just a little Yellow Ball and I have made grown men slam their clubs and cry like a baby.

 Could you keep my schedule straight? Manage my travel itinerary, book signings, interviews, appearances on talk shows and such?  I don’t think so. Hell you can’t even keep your drives straight. Thanks for the offer though but I’m going to take a Hard Pass.

 

 

[chisag]

... Yellow Ball has reached a new low. Evidently a Tennessee fan, he threw himself at Lane Kiffen during the game:

One of those things was a yellow golf ball (who brings a golf ball to a football game?) that seemed to hit Kiffin while he talked to a referee.

 

 

 

[Yellow Ball]

Well how embarrassing, now everyone has seen the tattoo on my ass! 

[cksurfdude]

On 9/18/2021 at 8:38 PM, Yellow Ball said:

I met @cksurfdude for lunch at a nice little Italian place for a slice of pizza. What’s better than NY pizza? “Nothing”. After lunch we went and played a bit.  Unfortunately my bucket list course will have to wait. He took me to a different course closer to the shore. Well I now know why we had a slice of pizza. His first tee shot with me was a SLLLIIIICE high and right off the tee! I should have known that was coming.

Oh you little prankster... I've figured out your real game which was a total con job on me .. and yeah, you got me .. got me good ...

No, there's no pizza better than NY pizza (yeah yeah Chicago you're ok) so when we're at my fav 'za stop and you started saying how you're a student of Italian culture and history and started asking me questions about the difference between Botticelli and Bernoulli .. now I'm not much of an art historian, so couldn't tell you a whole lot about the first guy, but I did get into our discussion of the physical principles of spin and aerodynamics on the trajectory of airborne objects .. just like what happens to you ole @Yellow Ball ...

I should've picked up on your obfuscatory (<- see what I did there) play when you also threw in the question about Vermicelli - you said you thought he was also some sort of important medieval personage - and I mean c'mon who says they love Italian food and doesn't know what vermicelli is .. or how it's different from capellini .. also not an important medieval personage. Sheesh. Didn't see it. Silly me.

So looking back on that first tee shot in our game it now occurs to me that the ball .. that devious little yellow ball .. had an unnaturally high amount of sidespin on it... I mean so high that the forward trajectory seemed to stop mid-air while the ball took an impossibly hard, tight right turn! Hmmmmm........

Well.. I give you credit for being a quick learner! And kudos for applying the theoretical lesson in a real world situation!! An "A" grade for you 

OK well we're still bro's and next time you're around this way we'll set up another fun round! 

[Yellow Ball]

Yellow Ball is a master of deception. Not to mention, a master of finding my way home. In my early years I was molded into the Ball that I am in an Italian neighborhood and looked forward to celebrating the feast of St. Joseph every year. On a side note, I have some eggplant parmigiana and chicken parmigiana with homemade sauce in the oven right now. Now that we have part of my upbringing out of the way!

Ok I see your trying to be cute with the bunny look. Nice attempt, but you can't expect me not to come back at you....What kind of New Yorker that's a NY Yankee's fan in their right mind would publish a photo of themselves with the logo backwards.  Sacrilege...... try reversing the image on a selfie or find a friend to take your photo. Wait a minute the southern New Yorkers aren't that friendly. Try reversing the image!

Maybe we can get together again next season. Bethpage Black hint hint! I was there, but nobody would take me out on the course. For some reason they think I will bring them bad luck or something! Dam bunch of pansies. 

 

[GolfSpy_APH]

I found some of your friends!

[sirchunksalot]

1 minute ago, GolfSpy_APH said:

I found some of your friends!

Was the anger photo taken after the results of the original ball test? 

[Yellow Ball]

1 minute ago, GolfSpy_APH said:

I found some of your friends!

That's how I see you guys when I play with you. Sometimes all in the same hole. I don't think I need to break it down for you. But I will...

Joy     I'm out playing golf  

Sadness     oh crap a par five with water

Fear    my second shot is over water

Disgust   I'm in the water

Anger   That was a brand new $4.00 Pro V1.

 

[cksurfdude]

ok ok .. better?

And, re: The Black course .. hmmm .. just a leeeetle bit above my golfing talent grade!! Unless you really want to spend some time not being found in the tall fescue.... I say we recall @Jmikecpa to NY and that guy can show you around that course in proper fashion!
 

[Yellow Ball]

Just now, cksurfdude said:

ok ok .. better?

And, re: The Black course .. hmmm .. just a leeeetle bit above my golfing talent grade!! Unless you really want to spend some time not being found in the tall fescue.... I say we recall @Jmikecpa to NY and that guy can show you around that course in proper fashion!
 

You have redeemed yourself!  

[Jmikecpa]

On 10/18/2021 at 5:04 PM, cksurfdude said:

ok ok .. better?

And, re: The Black course .. hmmm .. just a leeeetle bit above my golfing talent grade!! Unless you really want to spend some time not being found in the tall fescue.... I say we recall @Jmikecpa to NY and that guy can show you around that course in proper fashion!
 

Only if we are all playing back at the posts

[cksurfdude]

2 minutes ago, Jmikecpa said:

Only if we are all playing back at the posts

If that's the case then I'm calling you in as my Designated Hitter!!!

[tony@CIC]

I played for the first time here in Florida since last spring. Played pretty decently until I got to the long par 5, I  swore my yellow ball landed about 4 or 5 feet from the water. Hmm I wonder.......

[Rickp]

1 hour ago, tony@CIC said:

I played for the first time here in Florida since last spring. Played pretty decently until I got to the long par 5, I  swore my yellow ball landed about 4 or 5 feet from the water. Hmm I wonder.......

Don’t worry, he’s a little guy he’ll give the ball back

[cksurfdude]

4 hours ago, Rickp said:

Don’t worry, he’s a little guy he’ll give the ball back

Either that or eventually little yellow will exit the, uhhh, tail end

[Rickp]

10 minutes ago, cksurfdude said:

Either that or eventually little yellow will exit the, uhhh, tail end

And you can buy Yellow Ball back for $1.00 in Pro Shop

[tony@CIC]

13 hours ago, Rickp said:

And you can buy Yellow Ball back for $1.00 in Pro Shop

Yeah but @Yellow Ballwill have to change its name to @brownball 

[Yellow Ball]

19 hours ago, Rickp said:

Don’t worry, he’s a little guy he’ll give the ball back

 

2 hours ago, tony@CIC said:

Yeah but @Yellow Ballwill have to change its name to @brownball 

Let me tell you a little something about Yellow Ball. I might be small but I'm one tough SOB. Just look what you guys try to do to me on a daily basis! The last time a gator decided to swallow me it didn't turn out to well for the gator. This dumb ass swallowed me and then I got so pissed that the Red Ball came out in me. I gave that SOB a slow death from the inside out. By the way fresh gator is fantastic!

         

 I came out a little extra red but it washed off. I couldn't come out brown as they don't poop. They completely dissolve what they swallow. Even bone. Just statin the facts but nice try. Brown Ball.....Please! 

[Rickp]

1 hour ago, Yellow Ball said:

 

Let me tell you a little something about Yellow Ball. I might be small but I'm one tough SOB. Just look what you guys try to do to me on a daily basis! The last time a gator decided to swallow me it didn't turn out to well for the gator. This dumb ass swallowed me and then I got so pissed that the Red Ball came out in me. I gave that SOB a slow death from the inside out. By the way fresh gator is fantastic!

         

 I came out a little extra red but it washed off. I couldn't come out brown as they don't poop. They completely dissolve what they swallow. Even bone. Just statin the facts but nice try. Brown Ball.....Please! 

Now that’s funny, and lots of little known facts about Gators.

[tony@CIC]

4 hours ago, Rickp said:

Now that’s funny, and lots of little known facts about Gators.

Not to mention facts about yellow ball being able to change colors. It's no wonder I can't find my yellow ball amongst the fall leaves up north. Like a chameleon, it changes colors to the surrounding area. 

[cksurfdude]

1 hour ago, tony@CIC said:

Not to mention facts about yellow ball being able to change colors. It's no wonder I can't find my yellow ball amongst the fall leaves up north. Like a chameleon, it changes colors to the surrounding area. 

Yes, completely true. And not just single colors - he can also do woodland camo and grassland camo really really really well..! (..a little too well if you're asking me )

Fortunately he has not (yet?) mastered desert camo, but .. he did try to bury himself fairly deep in that greenside bunker I got into the other day ....

[Yellow Ball]

1 hour ago, cksurfdude said:

Yes, completely true. And not just single colors - he can also do woodland camo and grassland camo really really really well..! (..a little too well if you're asking me )

Fortunately he has not (yet?) mastered desert camo, but .. he did try to bury himself fairly deep in that greenside bunker I got into the other day ....

That's why Tony wanted me to carry around a flag! 

First, @tony@CIC is losing his memory when it comes to what I look like to everyone. I think he needs to re-read my very first post. It's ok it sucks to get old. But yes, I am a master of disguise. I even managed to do a dis-appearing act on the plane when that big guy sat on me. ohhhh bad flash back there!

Second, Tony's eyes must be going as well. That's why I have to carry around a flag when I'm with him.

 

Third, His hearing must be going as well. I call out and he never hears me.

Fourth, I can only hope he isn't playing with a senior flex shaft in his driver! If you know what I mean!  I don't need to know the answer. But they make a pill for that. Just trying to be helpful here!

 

Edited October 22, 2021 by Yellow Ball

[Yellow Ball]

Well it's the weekend and time for another adventure from Yellow Ball.

Yellow Ball has been watching a show on TV call Big Sky so I thought I would share a little bit of my adventure in the Big Sky state with @fixyurdivot this past season. You know his season is pretty close to being over now so maybe this will refresh his memory of one day in his glorious golf season.

 He took me over to this course called Beaver Head. For the first time Yellow Ball was scared. Why did they cut the Beaver’s head off? Hell, all I have is a head. What are they going to do to me if I don’t behave? Me, behave, that’s like asking a bear not to crap in the woods! Hey…What’s brown and sits in the woods? …..  Winnie’s Pooh!  Sorry some YB humor there.

While on the course there was a house nearby and I could see a golf bag on the deck. I know what happened to the beavers head! 

Do you know why @fixyurdivot stated that “fairways are over rated”? Well now I know, it’s because he’s hardly ever in them!  Come on guys just a little further. You can almost reach me!

What’s with all you guys and water? You get on a par three with water and it’s all over.  Nice double there buddy! I’m starting to get tired of the life vests I think I’m going to have to go full scuba gear soon. I’ll have to put that on my Christmas list. I'm sure it will come in handy for next season.

We get on the next par three and it’s a beauty. Luckily no water. 206 yards long into the wind and he pulls a 3 wood and comes up 10 yards short. He hits another and comes up 10 yards short again. I couldn’t contain myself any longer! I switched his head covers and he was actually hitting a 5 wood. The best part was he thought he mixed up the headcovers. Then he called himself a dipshit! Need I even comment here?

For a course in the “Big Sky State” the course was pretty flat. Looked simple enough to me but obviously it must have been a little tricky because a lot of his approaches were short and right.  

The good news is that it is close to simulator season for him now. At least he won’t lose a ball there!

[Yellow Ball]

I was able to get with @Kenny B a while back. We played at Wine Valley in Walla Walla. It was very appropriate that we played there. Wine can also be spelt whine and Walla Walla is similar to a crying sound. You know where this is going!

Well that’s what Kenny was doing that day. He had more excuses than Carter had liver pills. (Some of you young guys have to look that saying up.)

So here’s the list of the day:

              Must have been too much moisture in the air

              Not getting enough roll out in the fairway

              Must be my allergies

              Getting bad breaks

              There were branches in the fairway

              My putter let me down.

News flash. It wasn’t the putter it was the guy using the putter. Having five (5) three putts sounds like a lack of concentration. But I can see why there was a lack of concentration. You were too busy coming up with excuses which also led to the 4 doubles. It certainly looked like the heads up putting took a day off. Even a stranger ran over to try to help him sink one!

The only excuse I didn't hear is it was Yellow Balls fault.

So winter time is right around the corner for Kenny. This is the time he switches to playing with soft balls. Need I really comment here! Well if I must…..For someone who is old enough to shoot their age and did, I’m pretty sure he has been playing with soft balls already! Just thinking out loud here!

On another positive note Kenny broke par this year. He hasn’t done than in about 20 years or so. Way to go Kenny! That’s truly impressive.

[Kenny B]

9 hours ago, Yellow Ball said:

I was able to get with @Kenny B a while back. We played at Wine Valley in Walla Walla. It was very appropriate that we played there. Wine can also be spelt whine and Walla Walla is similar to a crying sound. You know where this is going!

Well that’s what Kenny was doing that day. He had more excuses than Carter had liver pills. (Some of you young guys have to look that saying up.)

So here’s the list of the day:

              Must have been too much moisture in the air

              Not getting enough roll out in the fairway

              Must be my allergies

              Getting bad breaks

              There were branches in the fairway

              My putter let me down.

News flash. It wasn’t the putter it was the guy using the putter. Having five (5) three putts sounds like a lack of concentration. But I can see why there was a lack of concentration. You were too busy coming up with excuses which also led to the 4 doubles. It certainly looked like the heads up putting took a day off. Even a stranger ran over to try to help him sink one!

The only excuse I didn't hear is it was Yellow Balls fault.

So winter time is right around the corner for Kenny. This is the time he switches to playing with soft balls. Need I really comment here! Well if I must…..For someone who is old enough to shoot their age and did, I’m pretty sure he has been playing with soft balls already! Just thinking out loud here!

On another positive note Kenny broke par this year. He hasn’t done than in about 20 years or so. Way to go Kenny! That’s truly impressive.

  

All of this is true... as far as you know!  Well, all except the part about the  branches in the fairway.  There are never branches in the fairway at Whine Valley!!  Why?  Because there are NO trees on the course.

At least Yellow Ball doesn't need a flag playing with me; he was always in the middle of the fairway.  

Five (5) three-putts can be a good day at Whine Valley. You should have been there when the USGA held the local qualifying for the US Open.  Yellow Ball would have rolled right off the green into a bunker on the second putt!!

Yellow Ball should consider softening up for winter so we don't feel the sting of hitting a rock with a blade when the temperature is near freezing.  Maybe a good soaking would do the trick.  Oh that's right... he has been in a lot of water lately; if only it was a little warmer!  

[Yellow Ball]

Exactly why Yellow Ball hits up the southern golfers in winter.  YB doesn't want blue balls.