Too Much Negativity About Golf and Our Game! Time to Think Positive!

[Golf2Much]

Life is like our golf games.  The news is most often about all the bad things that are happening all around us.  Just break down the nightly news and see how few of the stories are uplifting and have a major positive message.   It seems we focus too much about the negative because it's easier and that negativity illicits more emotion.   It begins to permeate our lives creating an overall negative and cynical perspective of what's going on around us.

Is it different in our golf game?  We dwell (let's face it, some obsess) on all the things we did wrong on a hole or round and it normally perpetuates an overall negative feeling about ourselves and golf game.  Too often, all that negativity becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy within and between rounds.  What should be fun, golf becomes something that just frustrates, upsets and adds to an overall negative perspective.   What can separate golf from other sports is that we can be have a terrible hole and make what some would say is a "shot of a life time" and we're right back in it!

So, to push back against "the darkness" let's make the extra effort to think positive.   This thread is intended for people to share something positive that happened with your golf game lately.  Who knows, maybe by sharing the positive will help suppress the negative and start giving you and others a better outlook about our games.  

I'll start:  After a horrendous front nine, I shot four over on the back nine (shooting 39, good for a 13 course handicap...see it's working already)!  It included five pars (one being a sandy par for four skins).  I had six one-putt greens and hit every fairway.  

Phew...I feel better!  Instead of dwelling on the negative, I'll take the positive back nine experiences to the first tee early Saturday morning. Will it help?  Who knows for sure.  The one thing that's for certain is that I'll start with a positive attitude and that can't hurt!

Now you all give it a try.  Join me by adding your recent golf positive and see if helps your general outlook!  Think of it as an online positive group therapy session!

 

 

[CLenahan]

After battling my driver the past year since I dislocated my shoulder last summer, I finally have my driver distance average back up to 220 and fairways hit to 65% over my last 5 rounds!

[Golf2Much]

Above I mentioned that being positive can take more energy and often is more difficult than being negative.   After today's round, I had to work hard to find something to be positive about!  So here goes:

I did hit 86% of my fairways today, but the most positive thing was that we only had two players for the men's league today, we played skins and as bad as I played, I didn't lose any money!  Sort of a weak positive I know, but that's the type of day it was.   What made it interesting is that for sixteen holes, the two of us had no carry overs and we each had 8 skins.  One of us won each hole leading up to 17 and 18 (which we pushed). 

Yeah, it's a stretch, but it is positive-ish!  

[chisag]

23 hours ago, Golf2Much said:

Life is like our golf games.  The news is most often about all the bad things that are happening all around us.  Just break down the nightly news and see how few of the stories are uplifting and have a major positive message.   It seems we focus too much about the negative because it's easier and that negativity illicits more emotion.   It begins to permeate our lives creating an overall negative and cynical perspective of what's going on around us.

 

... Happiness is a choice. Making lemonade out of lemons, finding the silver lining in a dark cloud, getting back up after being knocked down and more cliches that are cliches because they are universally true if you embrace them. You can start by turning off the news, ignoring much of social media and allow your brain to re-wire itself for positive energy. And fwiw, I find positivity much easier than negativity. I understand and embrace the positive but am perplexed by the negative. If I am looking at an 80 foot putt with a double break, I am thinking I have a chance to make it. Listening to someone commenting "I'll be lucky to 3 putt" just boggles my mind. We both have a chance of accomplishing our goal when we give our brains a mandate, so why not focus on making it and not focus on missing it? 

[Golf2Much]

On 7/29/2023 at 2:34 PM, chisag said:

 

... Happiness is a choice. Making lemonade out of lemons, finding the silver lining in a dark cloud, getting back up after being knocked down and more cliches that are cliches because they are universally true if you embrace them. You can start by turning off the news, ignoring much of social media and allow your brain to re-wire itself for positive energy. And fwiw, I find positivity much easier than negativity. I understand and embrace the positive but am perplexed by the negative. If I am looking at an 80 foot putt with a double break, I am thinking I have a chance to make it. Listening to someone commenting "I'll be lucky to 3 putt" just boggles my mind. We both have a chance of accomplishing our goal when we give our brains a mandate, so why not focus on making it and not focus on missing it? 

@chisag, I'm with you!  That's exactly the way I think and carry to the golf course.  I had a golfer last week say I was "Mr. Positive."  Why not?  It's a game we often pay too much to play.  It's supposed to be fun.  Why make it a bad experience?

We have a guy we play with who is a single digit handicap golfer and hits a really long ball.  Whenever he hits a ball into a fairway hazard or has a bad shot, he immediately turns to Mr. Negative, and typically is will struggle for the next two holes because he's so down on himself.  Since he often rides with me, I tell him he's got the length and skill to overcome this one bad shot and not to ever give up!  Unfortunately, too often that advice falls on deft ears. 

Once, I pre-empted his normal negativity on a difficult par 4 hole with OB on the right and water running all the way down the left.  I reached into my bag, pulled out an old golf ball and told him to throw it into the water by the tee box.  He looked at me a little puzzled but did it.  As he turned back to me I said, "Now, since you already put one in the water, why not put one in the fairway!?"  He gave a little chuckle and proceeded to stripped one down the center of the fairway.  Just one example of fighting negativity with a little humor.

I'm going to date myself a bit and modify a 1980's TV series Hill Street Blues quote:  "Let's be positive out there!"

[chisag]

4 hours ago, Golf2Much said:

We have a guy we play with who is a single digit handicap golfer and hits a really long ball.  Whenever he hits a ball into a fairway hazard or has a bad shot, he immediately turns to Mr. Negative, and typically is will struggle for the next two holes because he's so down on himself.  Since he often rides with me, I tell him he's got the length and skill to overcome this one bad shot and not to ever give up!  Unfortunately, too often that advice falls on deft ears. 

Once, I pre-empted his normal negativity on a difficult par 4 hole with OB on the right and water running all the way down the left.  I reached into my bag, pulled out an old golf ball and told him to throw it into the water by the tee box.  He looked at me a little puzzled but did it.  As he turned back to me I said, "Now, since you already put one in the water, why not put one in the fairway!?"  He gave a little chuckle and proceeded to stripped one down the center of the fairway.  Just one example of fighting negativity with a little humor.

 

... Ya can lead a horse to water and all.  One of my old playing pards back in Chicago was more neutral but he could get really negative at times if struggling. I am always supportive and positive in life and golf. One day after a few bad shots he sliced a ball OB off the tee and almost before he finished his backswing he turned to me and shouted "AND I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY OF YOUR F**KING HAPPY TALK!!!!"  

[OdinSnipes414]

8 minutes ago, chisag said:

AND I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY OF YOUR F**KING HAPPY TALK!!!!"  

[GolfSpy_SHARK]

I will say my "negative thoughts" are not typically for me a negative. I will explain:

-Last week after a few weeks off I did something I do not typically do. I used my 60* wedge around the green on a short side stick. After a few weeks off I was not making the best club selections which is fine and correctable, this 60* is one that stuck out though. With my 60 it is a full swing club or greenside bunkers, that's its purpose and nothing else lol, I am still not sure why I thought I could get cute with this short side shot but I did and it ended up taking 2 to get out of the stuff (after I went back and grabbed the correct club being my 52*).

With all that being said I look at it as a teachable moment for myself, I know my limitations and strengths. Taking 2 shots reminds me of that . In the end I laughed at it because its something I have not done all year and just give yourself a few weeks off you can revert back.

I am onboard with the laugh at yourself method, knocks those negative thoughts right out!

[GolfSpy_KFT]

I try to remind myself to view the game through my children's eyes. I have tendency to have some serious negative self talk, in golf and in life in general. Something I've always battled. That will spill over into frustration. When my boys (6 & 3) are out with me, I have to try really, really hard to not say anything with a negative connotation or show frustration through my body language. At times, I do not do well with this. My 6 year old always reminds me that "we just play golf to have fun, the score doesn't matter," and he is so right. Yes, I want to play well, but not at the expense of taking joy out of the game. It doesn't matter if I hit a 270 yard drive or pop one up 200 yards. After literally every ball I hit when my boys are with me, it's "great shot Dada!" When I am frustrated I'll respond saying yeah it was ok, instead of being genuinely excited with them about it. 

This thread is an awesome reminder that you are out there to ENJOY yourself and not be grumpy and a jerk. I'm playing multiple rounds this week, including an evening 9 holes with my boys, and I am going to make sure that I do not get frustrated or upset over any shot while with them. That's not what we are out there for.

[chisag]

31 minutes ago, Jnoble89 said:

This thread is an awesome reminder that you are out there to ENJOY yourself and not be grumpy and a jerk. I'm playing multiple rounds this week, including an evening 9 holes with my boys, and I am going to make sure that I do not get frustrated or upset over any shot while with them. That's not what we are out there for.

 

... I started playing QB in the 2nd grade. (PeeWee football in pads and full contact that in retrospect was far too early but it was the early 60's ) But what I learned very quickly was negative thoughts produce negative results and positive thoughts produce positive results. And as @Lacassem described there is a HUGE difference between being negative and comprehending a teachable moment. Like everyone that plays sports, I have leaned more from my failure than my success and I have always viewed those failures as a positive experience.

[GolfSpy_KFT]

38 minutes ago, chisag said:

 

... I started playing QB in the 2nd grade. (PeeWee football in pads and full contact that in retrospect was far too early but it was the early 60's ) But what I learned very quickly was negative thoughts produce negative results and positive thoughts produce positive results. And as @Lacassem described there is a HUGE difference between being negative and comprehending a teachable moment. Like everyone that plays sports, I have leaned more from my failure than my success and I have always viewed those failures as a positive experience.

I try to work daily on my negative self thought/talk habits. I’m not sure when that habit formed or why but for as long as I can remember it’s been a struggle. You’d never know in day to day conversation with me as most know me as an extremely optimistic individual. I can’t stand pessimism. Just need to do internally what I exude externally..but admittedly easier said than done

[funkyjudge]

32 minutes ago, chisag said:

 

... I started playing QB in the 2nd grade. (PeeWee football in pads and full contact that in retrospect was far too early but it was the early 60's ) But what I learned very quickly was negative thoughts produce negative results and positive thoughts produce positive results. And as @Lacassem described there is a HUGE difference between being negative and comprehending a teachable moment. Like everyone that plays sports, I have leaned more from my failure than my success and I have always viewed those failures as a positive experience.

Sam,

 I am quite sure that we didn’t start playing youth football at that young an age in Western New York (outside of Buffalo). We had leagues that were based on weight ranges, and although there was a 95 lb weight class with a minimum weight of 80 lbs and a minimum age of about 8, I didn’t begin playing until I was in the 115 lb weight class (about 10 or 11 years old). My final two years of youth football prior to freshman year of high school was on the 135 lb team, although I was probably closer to 145 lbs by the end of the season (fall of my 8th grade year).  If you looked at me now (5’-10” to 5’-11” and just shy of 175 lbs.), you would never think that I played offensive and defensive line until I got to high school. When my high school football coach found out that I was a sprinter, long and triple jumper in track and was promoted to varsity midway through my freshman season, I played running back and/or wide receiver and defensive back (strong safety) for the rest of my football career.

You are absolutely correct that winning thoughts and attitudes foster winning results. Whether it is in team or individual sports, this is a universal truth.  However, I also found that when opposing players made me angry with cheap shots and illegal hits, I played better, although occasionally out of control.

Edited July 31, 2023 by funkyjudge

[chisag]

1 hour ago, funkyjudge said:

Sam,

 I am quite sure that we didn’t start playing youth football at that young an age in Western New York (outside of Buffalo). We had leagues that were based on weight ranges, and although there was a 95 lb weight class with a minimum weight of 80 lbs and a minimum age of about 8, I didn’t begin playing until I was in the 115 lb weight class (about 10 or 11 years old). My final two years of youth football prior to freshman year of high school was on the 135 lb team, although I was probably closer to 145 lbs by the end of the season (fall of my 8th grade year).  If you looked at me now (5’-10” to 5’-11” and just shy of 175 lbs.), you would never think that I played offensive and defensive line until I got to high school. When my high school football coach found out that I was a sprinter, long and triple jumper in track and was promoted to varsity midway through my freshman season, I played running back and/or wide receiver and defensive back (strong safety) for the rest of my football career.

You are absolutely correct that winning thoughts and attitudes foster winning results. Whether it is in team or individual sports, this is a universal truth.  However, I also found that when opposing players made me angry with cheap shots and illegal hits, I played better, although occasionally out of control.

 

... You guys were smarter. We didn't have weight limits (we should have) and the league started when you were in the 3rd grade. But I was big enough for a 2nd grader, my Dad was training with Special Forces and gone for most of my youth and the League president was my next door neighbor. I wanted to play and my Mom played the "No Dad" sympathy card so he let me play. LOL social media would destroy him today but it was awesome. I didn't start til the next year but I did get in some games and learned a lot for the future. I played OLB through the 5th grade but middle school football started in the 6th grade and after that I only played QB. I hated defense. My DE son LOVES to correct me if I ever say I played football with "You didn't play football Dad. You played QB". 

[Marv Town]

If I'm playing golf it's a good day. If someone ask you how's your morning you have a choice to say good or bad. Choice's. Negative thinking doesn't work in my golf game.

[Golf2Much]

I just finished my Tuesday's men's league round.  My positive take-away is that I had THREE sandy pars today!  I hardly ever have one and today I had three.  I missed a 30 ft. putt by inches or it would have been four.  THREE!  Even my playing partners were amazed.  Unfortunately, the rest of my game wasn't my best...OPPPS, only positive here.   I had THREE sandy pars!!!

[Golf2Much]

I'm still trying to get some traction on the positive reinforcement thread!  Like Gilda Radner as SNL's Rosanne Rosannadanna always said "It just goes to show you, its always something!"  Either you have something positive to say about your game or you don't!  

Today, I had another sandy par (my fourth in five straight attempts, a new Golf2Much record) and a solid front nine (for a change).  It's something to build on for Saturday's round!

[Golf2Much]

OK, last positive post from me. 

Yesterday I shot the best round in a month.  I hit all but one fairway, had twice the number of greens in regulations than usual (only 4, but still good for me) and my overall putting performance improved.  When I look at my Shot Scope data, I had 29 total putts and on 14 of the 18 holes the putt made distance was less than 2 feet.  My average first putt distance was 16 feet and my total distance putts made was 49 feet.  Some may say having that many tap-in putts aren't great.  However, given the shape of our course's greens right now and the number of lip outs that easily could have dropped, I was encouraged that my putting stroke has returned!  If only two of the ones I left on the lip drop, I shoot in the 70's.  

My hope in starting this thread was that people may feel better when they think and posting about the positive things in their golf game.   Going forward, think positive and positive things will happen! 

Thank you for indulging me on my positivity crusade!

[tony@CIC]

This past wednesday - our traveling group played at this private course which I've had generally mediocre results on. Started out with a couple of doubles but then the game started coming back. #11 is the #1 Handicap hole - a very long par 4 with the last 100 yds being uphill including a green where you can just barely see the top of the flag. I was on in 3 but then made a long putt from off the green, which BTW won me a $4. skin. More importantly, kept me motivated for the next 7 holes. 

[EasyPutter]

Golf is all about positives to me.  I chose this game because I can do what I want with it, and by that I mean I can choose to just practice putting, or maybe just a bucket of balls on the range, or perhaps a par-3 course, or a 9-hole round, or a full 18.  There is no set thing to do when enjoying golf and that is variety and the spark for a good time no matter which of the kinds of golf chosen.  Since I chose golf as it allows my spirit to flourish it can only be positive for me.

And let's not forget the equipment associated with golf, some necessary like clubs, balls and tees, and everything else is a choice to make the experience more enjoyable and completely tailored by each to his/her own game and interest.  Countless hours are spent thinking about current equipment, perhaps some used and in hibernation for a while, and what might be the next thing to get.  I choose not to think about things that are not positive energy related so this is all good for the spirit. 

Playing on the course or range or wherever, it is a personal choice (as it is for every moment of the 24-hour day) what comes out of my mouth and it is my choice that all words from me cause no shock to the gentlest ears of the most impressionable souls around us.  I was military and I know cuss words, I also know using them often castrates their value for impact when selected for use - hearing potty mouth only degrades people in my appreciation for the choice they make to pollute their language with it, I for one am not at all impressed.  Offended?  No more than someone making a loud fart, same thing - different end.  The tip off I did not like my shot would be something like "oh sure Derek, nice turf farming" or "come on, stop doing that."  I know, really rough language, sorry.

Each moment on course is a gift, yes it was paid for but the time to be away from doing everything else in beautiful surroundings maintained by someone else has to be the highlight of any day and to feel bad about any part of it is just losing focus for the joy of the gift.

[fixyurdivot]

Helping others stay positive can be rewarding.  Yesterday, the 2 man team we played with/against were having an especially bad round while my partner an I were have really good rounds. One was getting pretty aggrevated with himself and that's never fun to see in a friend but understanable. I'm one who typically say's nice shot, putt, scramble, etc. anyway but tried to make a point of it when I could. Hopefully that helped some.

I used to get way down on myself during poor rounds but rarely do so these days.  This game is tough.  One only need to remember what Speith, Fowler, and now Thomas went through to keep things in perspective.  

[MattWillGolf]

Like most things in life, especially in the game of golf, I try and find humor wherever possible and admittedly this game does provide ample fodder. When appropriate I make an effort to not take things too seriously. I like to quote my golf buddy, “Life is too short to be miserable.” While I do fall victim to the occasional moments of anger at myself, I tend to search for the opportunity to laugh at myself. In my church golf league on Friday I achieved a first when attempting to hit a full wedge out of thick rough. I made contact with the ball after the club head got caught up in the grass which caused the ball to pop straight up and on my swing follow through the club hit the ball a second time and shot 20 yards across the fairway. My partner and I about died from laughter. 

In fact, today I discovered the biggest thing keeping me from excelling at this game we all love, LOFT - Lack of _ucking Talent. I was made aware of this term in a golf meme I saw today. And it honesty brought a laugh.

Swing freely and enjoy the moment.

[Middler]

On 7/28/2023 at 2:48 PM, Golf2Much said:

The news is most often about all the bad things that are happening all around us.  Just break down the nightly news and see how few of the stories are uplifting and have a major positive message.   It seems we focus too much about the negative because it's easier and that negativity illicits more emotion.   It begins to permeate our lives creating an overall negative and cynical perspective of what's going on around us.

Is it different in our golf game?  We dwell (let's face it, some obsess) on all the things we did wrong on a hole or round and it normally perpetuates an overall negative feeling about ourselves and golf game.  Too often, all that negativity becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy within and between rounds.  What should be fun, golf becomes something that just frustrates, upsets and adds to an overall negative perspective.   What can separate golf from other sports is that we can be have a terrible hole and make what some would say is a "shot of a life time" and we're right back in it!

Agree wholeheartedly. It has permeated our society with no end in sight.

Disagree. I played competitive golf when I was younger, and learned to take every hole, every shot as a new opportunity. One bad shot has ZERO to do with the next one, one bad hole has nothing whatsoever to do with others - I learned that many years ago. [I've shared my golf epiphanies before, so I won't repeat them]. Nowadays when I hit a bad shot, I laugh at myself more often than not, and it's a clean slate the next time I address the ball.

But I agree too many people, including many I play with, do let bad shots/holes ruin their golf scores and experience, but some of us have learned not to...

[chisag]

1 hour ago, Middler said:

But I agree too many people, including many I play with, do let bad shots/holes ruin their golf scores and experience, but some of us have learned not to...

 

... Awesome stuff.  I played a round last winter and started off with a stiff back and completely out of sync. Really struggled to save par and had 2 bogies in the first 6 holes. Then my back loosened and swing just synced up and I went birdie-birdie-eagle, goingt from 2 over to 2 under in 3 holes. Had I let any of the first 6 holes when it seemed like every shot was a struggle, affect my attitude I would never have turned things around. One shot at a time is really the only way to play this game. 

[funkyjudge]

13 minutes ago, chisag said:

 

... Awesome stuff.  I played a round last winter and started off with a stiff back and completely out of sync. Really struggled to save par and had 2 bogies in the first 6 holes. Then my back loosened and swing just synced up and I went birdie-birdie-eagle, goingt from 2 over to 2 under in 3 holes. Had I let any of the first 6 holes when it seemed like every shot was a struggle, affect my attitude I would never have turned things around. One shot at a time is really the only way to play this game. 

I wish that my best friend, also the guy who really got me interested in golf 38 years ago, would learn that!  He goes ballistic or gets totally down on himself whenever he has a bad hole, and invariably says something like, “There goes my round”. Of course, it does ruin the rest of his round (and often his day). Whenever I tell him that it’s only one hole, he tells me that I just don’t “get it” and that the entire round is ruined. Meanwhile, I can have two double-bogeys and one triple and still shoot 80-82 and be quite happy about the overall round — just not the two or three bad holes that I had.

[chisag]

6 minutes ago, funkyjudge said:

I wish that my best friend, also the guy who really got me interested in golf 38 years ago, would learn that!  He goes ballistic or gets totally down on himself whenever he has a bad hole, and invariably says something like, “There goes my round”. Of course, it does ruin the rest of his round (and often his day). Whenever I tell him that it’s only one hole, he tells me that I just don’t “get it” and that the entire round is ruined.

 

... I watched Freddie Couple hooked 2 shots OB off the first tee in a Major. Already 4 strokes over par without putting a ball in play. He finished in the top 25. Tiger also went OB on his opening tee shot. If Freddie/Tiger can hit really bad shots, how on earth can anyone not on tour that doesn't practice all day every day expect to play error free?

 

 

[Golf2Much]

In my original post I said "We dwell (let's face it, some obsess) on all the things we did wrong on a hole or round and it normally perpetuates an overall negative feeling about ourselves and golf game.  I should have said "some dwell" as I know too many people (like me) who treat bad shots like water off a duck's back. 

I typically give myself about 2 seconds to try and figure out what went wrong on a bad shot, then shrug it off and start working on how I execute the next shot to get back into the hole.   I view the attitude to be somewhat of a competitive advantage over those who cannot.   

[Subdiver1]

@EasyPutteryeah, I can agree with most of that, from perspective through experience. I think we all have our own way of getting the frustration out. Yes, extremes suck; there are "those folks" who are just miserable people and won't be "fun" to be around even if everything is going their way, but the rest of us are just human.  One of the greatest studies I've read, a few years back, contradicted the, "keep clam and it will pass dichotomy;" the study addressed occasional outbursts from frustration, anger, irritation etc. where those who did so (had these occasional outburst) had lower blood pressures, incidents of hearth disease etc. than those who "kept frustration bottled up." (Yeah, good luck finding that study today where quacks want to label people with "intermittent explosive disorder" and continie to make up new "disorders" to try and pigeiohole and create a need for some new medication and other crap).  It also nice to find out that I was actually the normal, healthy one, not the rest of the moves who just sat back and let life beat them down, because it isn't nice to blow your top once in a while, even when EVERYBIDY knows what is going on is WRONG. Yes, that carried over omto the course. I used to get frustrated and blow my top 3 out of 5 rounds; BUT one day it hit me, I should be enjoying this, laughing at the foibles, not lamenting ever having come out. The thing is, I am still human, I am still going to have those days. But now theybare MOMENTS, not days, in part because I get the mkment out of my system and don't carry it around for days, letting it turn into a day.  I love being out there, and I even have learned to enjoy the rounds, but that doesn't mean I can't have my moments, YES, those moments, and the sooner I get them out, the sooner we are all back to laughing at the next chunk, chilli-dip, skull etc. I don't need to throw clubs and sulk around for 2 hours, but just like other parts of life, give me my space for a minute, for my moment, and I'll give you yours for yours. Then it's all normal, and we all can laugh about being human, on all counts. But hey, you do you. I can tell you, unequivocally, that while I used to get invited out even then, I have NO PROBLEM, with repeat round invitations, even after a round where I've had a moment; probably because it is now ONLY A MOMENT with a human, and not a whole day with a mope.