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A shifting of priority/overcoming extreme competitiveness


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I read a quote by Ben Hogan, or maybe it was Snead, (honestly I’m not 100% certain but the source isn’t important) who said that he expected to make like 6 mistakes every round he played. I found this both astonishing and mind opening at the same time. Here was one of the all time great’s giving himself permission to make mistakes every time he played. He said because he did this, making a bad shot didn’t bother him. He already expected it so he moved on. This mantra is what helped me eventually get into the low single digit handicaps and prevents me from catastrophic rounds. I know every time I go out I can shoot high 60s or high 80s. It’s how I handle the mistakes that ultimately determines my final score. Sounds like you need a good sports psychologist to help you break down your own barriers and build a new mental approach to the game. 

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First off, you've already taken an important step forward,  and not an easy one at that! You have openly acknowledged a personal struggle and issue. On top of that, you did it in a public forum.  I do think that seeking counsel will help, and is a smart play.  I would say a sports psychologist is going to give you better tools to help you cope with and manage your anxieties and frustrations. 

When it comes to golf, over almost any other sport, every aspect of the game from tee to green is in constant change and motion. You can't control that. 

It won't be easy to change your mindset on how you process what you believe to be a disappointment,  but it can be done. 

I wish you the sincerist intentions that you can find a way to move forward and begin to enjoy it again. 

 

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First off, thanks for sharing and kudos on asking for help both here and professionally. As someone who has struggled with mental health issues myself, golf has transitioned from more of just a fun game to an active practice of the skills and the tools I need to work on off the course to manage my personal and professional life.

For me that all starts with radical acceptance, and that includes the fact that I'm really not as good as I think I am, nor will likely ever be as good as I want to be. Then, it comes down to handling every shot as it comes. If I do the things I can control on every shot, if the outcome isn't what I wanted instead of getting pissed, I accept that the ball is in the woods, ob, or swimming and move on with it. It's really not that big of a deal, and can give you an opportunity to hit a killer recovery shot.

Mindfulness and the practice of acceptance has changed my life in so many positive ways, and the game of golf gives me an opportunity to practice those skills in abundance. Let's be real, in this game, you have to be comfortable losing more than you win, and the only way we can do that is to just roll with the punches and do the best we can every day.

All the best, and again, thanks for sharing mate.

"Be a goldfish" - Ted Lasso

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@Berg Ryman I had to ruminate on this for a while because I now get very anxious in competition. I hate it, absolutely hate it. I just started competing again last year and this mental issue has been the biggest challenge I have had to deal with. I have always been good at handling stress and competition, until I stopped competing. Now that I am competing again I find myself folding more often than I have ever done before. A lot of people have been mentioning the "worrying about what others think" and to some extent I am in that category, a category that is new to me. I never used to worry about what people think, I always went about my own business. Anyway, your question made me start to self analyze and I really appreciate you asking this about yourself and your issues. It takes a lot of balls to do that. Thank you. My new focus besides my swing is to find my zen. I am going to have a conversation with my daughter about this as well because she once told me that she uses a concept in hockey to get herself in the right mindset. She was taught green, blue, and red zones. (I believe that's the color pattern she said it was) 2 hours before the game she wanted to be in the green zone, then as the game got closer, she wanted to get into the blue zone. She would try to get just to the edge of the blue to red zone right before faceoff and then stay in the blue zone. She has great success with this concept and I am going to have her teach me, although she was closer to the green zone this past season with UW. Again, thank you for your post. Much appreciated and good luck with your journey. Update us with what you find that helps because I am sure there are others out there like us. I will do the same. Happy Birdie Hunting!

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@Berg Ryman thx for posting this. Hope it did start to help.

I empathize with you as, believe it or not, I can be a bit introverted especially in larger group settings. I recognize this, and recognize the need .. especially as I get older .. to push myself to get out and engage with people more. Added benefit: you truly never know who you're talking to - e.g. what interesting experiences they've had or that thing that they know a lot about that you may not.

Also like you I can be, like most guys, competitive - but *way too* competitive with myself ... I want to be good at this game; I want the other guys to see how good I am; I want to contribute to my winning team's score; etc etc etc...

 

So, first, at the risk of sounding trite...
You are NOT your golf score.

This may sound harsh but if the only reason you play the game is to achieve a certain score, well then imho this may not be the right game for you... Suggest some self reflection on what are the things that get you out onto the golf course; what are the things that you enjoy about it and bring you back. Perhaps this may be one channel of exploration with the counselor you'll meet with?

 

Second, if you don't think that every person at an MGS Outing .. regardless of skill / hcp level .. is not going to be supportive and encouraging to you, then I'll argue you are wrong brother.

At that first outing I was clearly one of the haha 'not better' golfers there .. yet during the weekend, and especially after the Sunday round, several of the for real better players took it upon themselves to approach me and offer advice and help and tips!!! If those aren't golf buddies then heck there ain't no actual golf buddy nowhere.

Accept that everyone in this game .. not just you, everyone .. is in some stage of their own personal unique never-ending development/improvement process. Game For Life and all that.

The Kingsmill Outing should provide plenty of time for even more of these interactions - and fair warning to the people attending 😉 - I plan to pester a few of you for swing advice, short game coaching, putting help, etc.

 

A little background...
(1) I spent close to 30 years working in the investment industry (aka Wall Street firms) which are all completely, 100% results oriented. Do something right - succeed; do something wrong - fail.
(2) I grew up skiing during the Winters and small sailboat racing during the Summers. Got very good at both. Later on I took up windsurfing and surfing. Got reasonably competent at both.

Then when I took up golf, of course I wanted to get "good" at it, I was like.. 'this seems easy .. ball is not moving .. just have to put the clubhead on it and hit it over there'  .. right?? WRONG-O!!! ..boy oh boy did I get frustrated with myself...

So as I was working on the swing technique, I was also reading and hearing things about "The Mental Game". Hmmm what is that all about, I was wondering..? Started looking into, read articles, listened to webinars, etc and even attended an in-person 2-day clinic.

Tried to but didn't understand a lot of it - the word "process" was used very often - and to me that was the *polar opposite* of pretty much all of my work and play experiences up to that point in my life...

 

Well several years later I dare say I think I may be starting to hopefully a little bit kinda get it.

My focus on the course now includes...
1. coming away from a round feeling like I've accomplished some kind of improvement in at least one aspect of my game;
2. being a bit more deliberate (careful? maybe) with each shot;
3. concentrating on the -action- of the swing and -not- the hoped-for outcome of it -- i.e. process-driven and not results-oriented.

Improve the process and the results will come, not the other way around.

 

One other thing to throw in - at that mental game clinic I mentioned one person talked about "Muse" and how it helped them (this guy was a near-scratch player and the best in the group). It's a headband with sensors that pairs with an app (can be used without a subscription) and provides biofeedback meditation. Have been using it more regularly since this Winter and definitely feel it is helping me learn to relax my too often too overactive mind. Highly recommended.

 

OK, I've really droned on here! But Berg-Dude if you feel you want a sounding board I would be very happy to do that anytime ... just PM me whenever... 

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2 minutes ago, cksurfdude said:

Second, if you don't think that every person at an MGS Outing .. regardless of skill / hcp level .. is not going to be supportive and encouraging to you, then I'll argue you are wrong brother.

At that first outing I was clearly one of the haha 'not better' golfers there .. yet during the weekend, and especially after the Sunday round, several of the for real better players took it upon themselves to approach me and offer advice and help and tips!!! If those aren't golf buddies then heck there ain't no actual golf buddy nowhere.

Accept that everyone in this game .. not just you, everyone .. is in some stage of their own personal unique never-ending development/improvement process. Game For Life and all that.

The Kingsmill Outing should provide plenty of time for even more of these interactions - and fair warning to the people attending 😉 - I plan to pester a few of you for swing advice, short game coaching, putting help, etc.

 

... Good stuff. There are always better players and worse players. I do believe for the vast majority, not only do others not care what you shoot or how you play, they don't even notice because they have their own issues to deal with. People are people of course and I have run across my share of low index snobs but find them the exception. Most golfers are always willing to help or at least support others with less skill. 

... The first outing I organized on another golf forum years ago I had a few players very concerned about their play and how others would judge them. I put 3 of them in my group and I think all may have exaggerated their abilities on the forum so were afraid to be "called out" by others. All 3 played poorly and when I asked them independently what they thought of the other players they responded they didn't really pay attention as they were struggling with their own game. Through the years I have found that to be pretty universal and when playing really well the same thing happens, they are concentrating on their own game and focused on continuing their good play. 

... To be fair I think most are at least aware of others they play with and to some degree how they are scoring or playing, but rarely if ever do they pass judgement. 

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21 hours ago, bens197 said:

Personally, I think this is you anchoring your expectations against your best rounds and top potential. The top play when you were practicing more frequently, playing more often and had fewer life responsibilities. 

Great insight! I'd mentioned mental game in my post earlier .. a lot of that is based around "Expectations Management", and in the book "The Four Foundations of Golf" by Jon Sherman his whole first section is devoted to that topic.

I'd agree with the above - we cannot _expect_ to play our best golf each and every time we're out there.

 

4 hours ago, pgareject87 said:

Mindfulness and the practice of acceptance has changed my life in so many positive ways, and the game of golf gives me an opportunity to practice those skills in abundance. Let's be real, in this game, you have to be comfortable losing more than you win, and the only way we can do that is to just roll with the punches and do the best we can every day.

Love that. 👍

 

21 minutes ago, chisag said:

when I asked them independently what they thought of the other players they responded they didn't really pay attention

@Tom the Golf Nut .. I like Country music!! 😀 .. and there's an old singer who said at one of his concerts something like "Are you too cool to get up dance? On your tombstone it's gonna say 'he didn't have any fun but he was cool' .. well nobody cares what you look like, they're all too busy being cool!" 

 

Edited by cksurfdude

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A)
5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R)
7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R)

4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3)
5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3)
6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 
54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite)
Putter...Ev
nRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grips)
...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour.

Forum Member tester for the Paradym X driver (2023)
Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

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44 minutes ago, Berg Ryman said:

Just so you guys know, I have read every one of these comments to this post and feel quite appreciated that people are getting something out of this general conversation, so at least we're helping talk about some of this stuff.

Admittedly, this is something that I first kind of touched on with my Superspeed Review and thoughts there, including my thought process there into my mental health and how that impacted how I approached the test as a whole. I guess this is just a natural growth out of that.

So, I have taken some of the feedback and thoughts given by everyone here and I'll admit, I have tried some of this stuff in the past. The reset, the refocus, I even have a hard reset swing I take after some bad shots. To be fair, as a reminder of this I had my wife get my some ball markers from Full Metal Markers and the one I use is the classic Ted Lasso quote, 'be a goldfish'. Some of this has helped from time to time, but it never really sticks.

I do think though you guys have hit on the two bigger issues here. First, caring too much about what others think. This comes down to I think a larger issue i have personally with a overdependence on validation from others. As I mentioned from the OG MGS trip thread, I'm pretty introverted, I don't have hobbies and likes that match with my age group and it has made it hard so I do perhaps place more concern as to how I'm perceived by others in my field and passions. That and the fact that I was bullied and singled out as a child due to my weight and that has been pretty much one of the things I still feel with that extreme chip on my shoulder in my work life as an attorney and in my other passions.

Second, the need to remove the correlation between results and actual success and enjoyment. I think I didn't do a great job of explaining this in my initial post and how I feel about things. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the MGS breakout and that playing well is my only focus, just that I would be getting more enjoyment from having a good time and playing well, especially considering I don't get much time away from work. I'm going to have a good time, to be a good teammate/partner and have fun regardless, I just know that I could be in my own head about it afterwards.

And I think this is where making this delineation between results and enjoyment needs to be broke, but admittedly it's a difficult one. We look at our handicaps, we look at our results and it becomes a badge of honor or a goal to chase. It's the same thing in pickleball, there's an app there called DUPR, where your rating is based on recent results and performance. Weirdly because of the sports I choose to play, performance is a sole point as to perceived skill level with this DUPR rating and the handicap system. However, again I think this comes again from a deep seeded need to for validation through perception from others, which again is it's own problem that can be worked through with others. 

As such, I've reached out to a counseling service here in Syracuse that has a sports psych guy on staff to get on the waiting list for him, while also exploring general counseling as well. I do also think I'm grabbing a copy of that book @downlowkey mentioned earlier. I'll keep everyone posted and am happy that this dialog has come off the way it has.

Just for you I didn’t take the initial post as a you didn’t enjoy the meetup. I thought you did a good joB and I read it as the positive, that you knew how you were perceived there but wasn’t how you felt. 
Enjoy the journey best ya can, in the end it is a journey on a road to be better than you are now. We all are on that road, different things we are going through but all looking to get to the same place.

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58 minutes ago, Berg Ryman said:

Just so you guys know, I have read every one of these comments to this post and feel quite appreciated that people are getting something out of this general conversation, so at least we're helping talk about some of this stuff.

Admittedly, this is something that I first kind of touched on with my Superspeed Review and thoughts there, including my thought process there into my mental health and how that impacted how I approached the test as a whole. I guess this is just a natural growth out of that.

So, I have taken some of the feedback and thoughts given by everyone here and I'll admit, I have tried some of this stuff in the past. The reset, the refocus, I even have a hard reset swing I take after some bad shots. To be fair, as a reminder of this I had my wife get my some ball markers from Full Metal Markers and the one I use is the classic Ted Lasso quote, 'be a goldfish'. Some of this has helped from time to time, but it never really sticks.

I do think though you guys have hit on the two bigger issues here. First, caring too much about what others think. This comes down to I think a larger issue i have personally with a overdependence on validation from others. As I mentioned from the OG MGS trip thread, I'm pretty introverted, I don't have hobbies and likes that match with my age group and it has made it hard so I do perhaps place more concern as to how I'm perceived by others in my field and passions. That and the fact that I was bullied and singled out as a child due to my weight and that has been pretty much one of the things I still feel with that extreme chip on my shoulder in my work life as an attorney and in my other passions.

Second, the need to remove the correlation between results and actual success and enjoyment. I think I didn't do a great job of explaining this in my initial post and how I feel about things. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the MGS breakout and that playing well is my only focus, just that I would be getting more enjoyment from having a good time and playing well, especially considering I don't get much time away from work. I'm going to have a good time, to be a good teammate/partner and have fun regardless, I just know that I could be in my own head about it afterwards.

And I think this is where making this delineation between results and enjoyment needs to be broke, but admittedly it's a difficult one. We look at our handicaps, we look at our results and it becomes a badge of honor or a goal to chase. It's the same thing in pickleball, there's an app there called DUPR, where your rating is based on recent results and performance. Weirdly because of the sports I choose to play, performance is a sole point as to perceived skill level with this DUPR rating and the handicap system. However, again I think this comes again from a deep seeded need to for validation through perception from others, which again is it's own problem that can be worked through with others. 

As such, I've reached out to a counseling service here in Syracuse that has a sports psych guy on staff to get on the waiting list for him, while also exploring general counseling as well. I do also think I'm grabbing a copy of that book @downlowkey mentioned earlier. I'll keep everyone posted and am happy that this dialog has come off the way it has.

What this conversation had started and the openness it has created is good for all of us.

I could play golf every day and learn something new each round. 

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1 hour ago, Berg Ryman said:

I do think though you guys have hit on the two bigger issues here. First, caring too much about what others think. This comes down to I think a larger issue i have personally with a overdependence on validation from others. As I mentioned from the OG MGS trip thread, I'm pretty introverted, I don't have hobbies and likes that match with my age group and it has made it hard so I do perhaps place more concern as to how I'm perceived by others in my field and passions. That and the fact that I was bullied and singled out as a child due to my weight and that has been pretty much one of the things I still feel with that extreme chip on my shoulder in my work life as an attorney and in my other passions.

First off, thank you for starting this thread and for being open about what's going on with you mentally as you're playing this game. I think it's a good discussion to have and you've taken the first step in the healing process. 

I can relate to you, I'm also introverted, overweight, and I've dealt with a physical handicap my entire life and that's led to a lot of self doubt along with a competitiveness in anything sports related. I think it's a constant need to feel validated. 

I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous about the trip and being seen as a terrible golfer. The one bit of solice I have that going into this trip is that we're going to be hanging out with some amazing friends that I've never met in real life and look forward to getting to know on a more personal level. I have played a round with Tom and was nervous the first time I met him. He immediately calmed that fear and we had an enjoyable round. 

We're going to have fun out there and I look forward to meeting you and maybe bring grouped together at some point. 

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8 minutes ago, sirchunksalot said:

First off, thank you for starting this thread and for being open about what's going on with you mentally as you're playing this game. I think it's a good discussion to have and you've taken the first step in the healing process. 

I can relate to you, I'm also introverted, overweight, and I've dealt with a physical handicap my entire life and that's led to a lot of self doubt along with a competitiveness in anything sports related. I think it's a constant need to feel validated. 

I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous about the trip and being seen as a terrible golfer. The one bit of solice I have that going into this trip is that we're going to be hanging out with some amazing friends that I've never met in real life and look forward to getting to know on a more personal level. I have played a round with Tom and was nervous the first time I met him. He immediately calmed that fear and we had an enjoyable round. 

We're going to have fun out there and I look forward to meeting you and maybe bring grouped together at some point. 

For reasons out of my control I’m not making this year’s trip. Next year! I really want to meet all of you!

I could play golf every day and learn something new each round. 

Callaway Paradym TD 9* Driver w/5 Dot Newton tipped shaft

TaylorMade 11.5* Mini Driver w/stiff stock shaft

Ping 425 Max 3 wood w/Stiff Steadfast Jupiter 1 shaft

Titleist PT 17 Medal Wood w/steel shaft

New Level 4-PW 902PD Irons w/6.5 ProjectX IO shafts

PXG 311 Gen 3 52 & 56 Wedges w/ Xstiff KBS TourLite shafts

Ping Anser Putter

Callaway Chrome Tour X

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Just want to chime in and say you are not alone in this.

I've hinted at it in other threads but I've kind of had the same struggles over the past year, especially relating to golf. It has made me step away a bit overall. I didn't touch a club for the first several months of the winter, and my posting on here has dwindled a fair amount as well.

You've already gotten some great advice, a good chunk of which was also great for me to read. I really appreciate your openness and willingness to talk about it. 

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Great topic and one I have personally struggled with. So much of it is mental and expectations we set on ourselves. It's tough when we know we can play better and do more.  

For me personally, I have to sit back and observe for a moment and remember I have it pretty good and if I'm granted another day of waking up, can do it over.  

As tough as it is, I have forced myself to take a deep breath and take the next shot. 

Thanks for sharing as you aren't alone in those feelings/thoughts. 

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So, we've committed to the waitlist at the counseling office for the sports psych guy as well as am generally looking for other counseling options in the meantime to treat the larger issues. Also my copy of Extraordinary Golf has arrived already from the big Bezos in the sky, read the intro and the first little exercise. I like the deal and what it's promoting, so that's a positive. I

In a :ping-small: Hoofer Lite bag

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:taylormade-small: Stealth, 15 degrees, VA Composites Nemesys 70-S 

:755178188_TourEdge: E722, 19 degrees, Oban Devotion 80-S

:mizuno-small: JPX 921 Hot Metal Pro 4-P, Nippon 950GH Stiff Flex

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11 hours ago, Berg Ryman said:

So, we've committed to the waitlist at the counseling office for the sports psych guy as well as am generally looking for other counseling options in the meantime to treat the larger issues. Also my copy of Extraordinary Golf has arrived already from the big Bezos in the sky, read the intro and the first little exercise. I like the deal and what it's promoting, so that's a positive.

Pulled my dog-eared copy off the bookshelf a couple days ago for another read through too. It’s been lent out to several of my golf pals and always come back with a new note jotted inside the cover. I went through a less than pleasant stretch where my thought standing on the first tee was something akin to “just don’t play terrible”. My golf mentor turned me onto Shoemaker during that period and his thoughtful approach was truly eye-opening. I believe it’s the kind of text with the potential to hit each reader in a unique way, so I don’t want to prematurely color your own journey of discovery any further. But feel free to reach out anytime if you want to kick around what you’re reading.

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Also have a copy of Extraordinary Golf that a friend had very strongly suggested a few years ago .. and while my attitude towards myself on the golf course has really improved since then .. I may give it another read through, too!

@Berg Ryman hope things are going well, and that you get an open spot soon at that sports psych.

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A)
5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R)
7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R)

4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3)
5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3)
6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 
54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite)
Putter...Ev
nRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grips)
...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour.

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5 hours ago, cksurfdude said:

Also have a copy of Extraordinary Golf that a friend had very strongly suggested a few years ago .. and while my attitude towards myself on the golf course has really improved since then .. I may give it another read through, too!

@Berg Ryman hope things are going well, and that you get an open spot soon at that sports psych.

Thanks boss. I was like 10th on the list, but they did say that sports psych cases get pushed up the ladder a bit. Tried a different tact at Pickleball, kinda worked a bit. Played more to enjoy myself.l and bring myself some joy 

Might even be making a club change soon to do it as well.

In a :ping-small: Hoofer Lite bag

 :titleist-small: TSR2, 10 degrees, A1 setting, Fujikara Speeder NX Blue 50-S

:taylormade-small: Stealth, 15 degrees, VA Composites Nemesys 70-S 

:755178188_TourEdge: E722, 19 degrees, Oban Devotion 80-S

:mizuno-small: JPX 921 Hot Metal Pro 4-P, Nippon 950GH Stiff Flex

 :cleveland-small: CBX Zipcore 50* (bent to *49) and RTX Zipcore Tour Rack 54* (bent to *55), DG 115 Spinner, Tour Issue

:wilson-small: Staff Model TG 60*, Dynamic Gold 120 S300

 SIK Golf Flo-C

:bridgestone-small: Tour B-XS (2022 Model)

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Below is copied in from a weekly newsletter from Jon Sherman of Practical Golf (and author of "The Four Foundations of Golf") - thought it was pretty interesting and send to dovetail in with this discussion.

...

Recently, I have been reading and researching a lot about what makes humans happy. I want to learn as much as possible and apply it to golf (perhaps for a future project).

I was reading Arthur C. Brooks' book Build The Life You Want, and a topic came up that I have been thinking about lately.

Brooks states, "You can't choose your feelings, but you can choose your reaction to those feelings."

He goes on to explain a little about how our brains process information:

Detection: something happens (like hitting our drives into the trees), and before we are conscious of it, the image is processed by our retinas and sends the information to the visual cortex of our brains.

Reaction: Our amygdala receives this signal and processes an emotion. This happens in about 0.074 seconds! Then, our pituitary glands tell our adrenal glands to produce stress hormones, which can make our hearts start pounding.

Since this happens in the flash of a second, and our bodies are hardwired to do this to protect us (this exact situation could have you jump away from a speeding car immediately), there is no sense in fighting against it when it happens on the golf course.

 

But what comes next is more important...

 

The last piece of the puzzle is our decision. Our prefrontal cortex gets the signal of what just occurred, and now we have to decide how we react. Do you toss your golf club? Laugh? Or tell yourself it was a bad swing and move on?

Brooks writes, "Recognition of the feelings in your body caused by stress hormones can alter that decision."

We cannot prevent negative feelings from emerging. But we can train ourselves to understand them and, more importantly, use the rational part of our brains to replace them after the initial split-second reaction.

I often refer to a simple scenario where a golfer has a 100-yard shot. They are conditioned to believe this is a chance to hit it close to the hole and make a birdie.

Let's say they hit it to 25 feet on the green. Initially, they scoff at themselves and say it should have been closer. This happened to me yesterday on the golf course.

But as I put my club back in the bag, I quickly reminded myself that this was a perfectly acceptable outcome based on my skill level—studying stats from golfers of all levels helps with that reaction. I hit a green in regulation, increased my chances of making a stress-free par, and still had an opportunity to make a birdie. Not so bad!

 

Part of becoming a happier and better golfer is winning these small battles against our own brains. That is why I have always found this game so fascinating—golf is, in many ways, at odds with how our minds work.

 

But I think the important thing is to recognize that there is nothing wrong with getting anxious, angry, or frustrated when we see the golf ball doing what we don't want it to do. What comes next is more important, and we can get better at exerting our control there.

...

 

WITB of an "aspiring"  😉 play-ah ...
Driver...Callaway Paradym (Aldila Ascent PL Blue 40/A)
5W...Callaway Great Big Bertha (MCA Kai'Li Red 50/R)
7W...Tour Edge Exotics EXS (Tensei CK Blue 50/R)

4H...Callaway Epic Super Hybrid (Recoil ZT9 F3)
5H...Callaway Big Bertha ('19) (Recoil 460 ESX F3)
6i-GW...Sub 70 699 V2 (Recoil 660 F3) 
54°, 60°...Cleveland CBX2, CBX 60 (Rotex graphite)
Putter...Ev
nRoll ER5 or MLA Tour XDream (P2 Reflex grips)
...all in a Datrek bag on an MGI Zip Navigator electric cart. Ball often, not always, MaxFli Tour.

Forum Member tester for the Paradym X driver (2023)
Forum Member tester for the ExPutt Putting Simulator (2020)

followthrough.jpg

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