This is cleaned up the best I can.
A man was watching golf. His wife kept bugging him to go out and do something, so he gave her his credit card to keep her quiet, and told her to go shopping.
The wife goes to an antique store and browses around. Eventually she finds an old, plain, and shoddy full length mirror. She inquires as to the price. The proprietor tells her it is $10,000.00. She ask as to why a mirror in such bad shape was so expensive. The proprietor tells her it is a magic mirror that will grant any wish as long as it rhymes. To spite her husband for ignoring her, she buys the mirror and once home she hangs it on the back of the bedroom door.
She yells for her husband to come look at what she bought for $10,000.00. He jumps off the couch and runs into the bedroom. The wife shows him the old mirror and he cannot believe she paid so much. She informs him it is a magic and mirror and proceeds to show him what it will do.
She steps up to the mirror and says, " Mirror, Mirror, on the door, make my breast a 44." There is a snapping and popping sound and she stands there with breasts now measuring 44. She tells her husband she is going shopping again because she needs new clothes and proceeds to leave.
The husband stands there in disbelief, shaking his head, muttering under his breath. Then an idea comes to him! He steps up to the mirror and says, "Mirror, Mirror, on the door, make my member touch the floor."
His legs fell off!