DawgDaddy

A man lays sprawled across three entire seats at a posh theater. Before the show has even started, an usher walks by and notices the man. “Sir, you’re only allowed one seat, can you please sit up?” The man groans, but remains seated. The usher becoming impatient with the man, “sir, if you don’t get up, I will need to get my manager involved” Again the man just groans, which infuriates the usher as he marches off to get the manager. In a few moments he returns with the manager and they both repeatedly attempt to move him, but with no success. It was at this point that the manager calls the police. Moments later, a police officer arrives and approaches the man, “alright buddy, what’s your name?” “Ole Gray” the man moans. “And where ya from Ole Gray?” With pain in his voice Ole Gray replied, “the balcony”.

One of Lewis Grizzard's most famous jokes.

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence,” the farmer said. “This is a special day for me; I am celebrating.” “This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,” said the woman. “What a coincidence!” said the farmer. As they clinked glasses, he added, “What are you celebrating?” “My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!” “What a coincidence!” said the man. “I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.” “That’s great!” said the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?” “I used a different rooster,” he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, “What a coincidence!”

Congratulations to all of the testers............now time's a wasting, get busy with the testing. lol

Since I retired, I have been very busy over the past 10 years working on my golf game. This year I decided to put my thoughts and ideas together in a book about Golf. I'm very proud of the results and in order to market the publication, I'm asking friends and family to be the first to own a copy. The cost of the book will only be $4.96. Here's the Table of Contents from the new book, "Winning Golf Strategies," which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I've gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of my golfing partners. Table of Contents: Chapter 1 - How to properly line up your Fourth putt. Chapter 2 - How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee. Chapter 3 - How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in a bunker. Chapter 4 - How to get more distance off the Shank. Chapter 5 - When to give the Ranger the finger. Chapter 6 - Using your shadow on the Greens to confuse your opponent. Chapter 7 - When to implement Handicap Management. Chapter 8 - Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9 a.m. Chapter 9 - How to urinate behind a 4" x 4" post ... Undetected. Chapter 10 - How to rationalize a 6-hour round. Chapter 11 - How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water. Chapter 12 - Why your spouse doesn't care that you birdied the 5th. Chapter 13 - How to let a Foursome play through your Twosome. Chapter 14 - How to relax when you are hitting three off the Tee. Chapter 15 - When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent. Chapter 16 - God and the meaning of The Birdie-To-Bogey Putt. Chapter 17 - When to re-grip your Ball Retriever. Chapter 18 - Use a strong grip on the Hand Wedge and Weak Slip on the Foot Wedge. Chapter 19 - Why male golfers will pay $5.00 a beer from the Cart Girl and give her a $3 tip, but will balk at a $3.50 Beer at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender. Hopefully you will find this book intriguing and purchase a copy and considering my next book will be on bowling.

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client. "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news." The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million... and I think she could be right." Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman, isn't she? You've just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?" The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."

How Bout Them Dawgs!!!

https://allowe.com/audio/BudLite/Mr Really Big Golf Club Maker.mp3

A man asked his wife , "what would you do if I won the lottery?". She replied, " I would take half and leave you". He said, " I thought so. I just won $12, here is six and stay in touch"

I'm 6-4, was fit with a 37 1/4" length at SeeMore headquarters in Nashville about 8 or so years ago. I've played that length since.

Thank you for the birthday wishes.

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink." The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do." They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed." The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Doberman?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good." The bouncer said, "OK, come on in." The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed." The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?" The woman with the Chihuahua said, ........ "A Chihuahua? They gave me a freaking Chihuahua?!"

I'm giving the Vice Pro Soft Drip balls a try right now, I agree the Pandemic has really messed up Dean and Snell Golf. Not too sure I'll ever go back either.

One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!” Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!” Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But, instead of running, the old dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says… “Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!” Moral of this story… Don’t mess with the old dogs. Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery.

Decided a dozen to give these a try, I like the idea of playing something different, I have played the Truvis and TM Stripe & Pix in past, wanting to have another option of a different look.

The Murphy brothers were having a drink in their favorite pub. Frank told his brother "Me and the Missus had an awful fight last night. But finally she came to me on her hands and knees." "Oh yeah, what did she say?" She said "Frank Murphy, you come out from under that bed!"

Two men in their twenties are sitting at the bar talking. One of the guys remarks to the other, “Boy you look really tired!” His friend replies, “Dude, I’m exhausted, the girl I’ve been dating wants sex all the time! three, four sometimes even six times a night! She wakes me up at all hours. I just don’t know what to do!” A fellow, in his seventies, is sitting a few bar stools down from them overhears their conversation. He looked over at the two men, and showing the wisdom of his age says, “Marry her. That’ll put an end to that nonsense!”

Dick's has a one day sale that includes the Maxfli Tour and Tour X 48 pack of balls for $104.98 https://www.dickssportinggoods.com/

There were two statues in a park, one of a naked man, and one of a naked woman. They had been facing each other for a hundred years across a pathway, when one day an angel comes down, and with a single gesture brings the two to life. The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.” He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, “Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?” He asks her “Shall we?” She eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, lets! But lets change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you crap on its head.”

The Taylors were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had traveled to America as pilgrims on the Mayflower. They had included congressmen, successful entrepreneurs, famous sports figures and television stars. They decided to research and write a family history, something for their children and grandchildren. They found a genealogist and writer to help them. Only one problem arose: how to handle great uncle Jefferson Taylor who was executed in the electric chair. The writer said she could handle the story tactfully. When the book appeared the section about Jefferson read: Great uncle Jefferson Taylor occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution. He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.

My Bag Boy Chiller bag has begun to grab the grips of my clubs when I pull them. I ordered this Tour Edge Exotics Xtreme Cart 7.0 bag because it has good reviews and I really liked the looks. It should be here Tuesday.

Danny, Alex Elliott & MrShortgame are the 3 I check out fairly regularly. Alex is my current favorite.

Looks like losing 5 defensive players to the NFL in the first round and 15 players overall in the draft did not hurt as bad as predicted by the sports writers. Go Dawgs!