Yellow Ball

Merry Christmas my other family.

I'm not feeling the love!

At least someone was looking out for my family!

Moonshine the night before golf is a recipe to potentially lose some of my family members. You definitely didn't shine on the course. Tis the season to be generous. You can blame me if it makes you feel better. I can take it. Merry Christmas.

It can go either way. I take the credit for good things or I get blamed for the bad shots. Such a tough life I live!

No apologies needed. You are engaging a banter for all to enjoy. In fact I should apologize for just calling you a loser. We all know and most importantly, I know your not. It's part of Yellow Balls persona to be on the edge. You guys hit me with clubs, hit me into trees, ponds with alligators, and yell at me. My only retaliation is to call you guys out in my own unique sarcastic nature. You, sir, have challenged my creative juices the most and it's been fun trying to come up with a creative response. Then sometimes I have to tone it down a bit before I hit "save". It is a family channel after all. But I'm jealous that you are talking to a lady friend. I been divorced many times. Cali dumped me, Hope told me to take a dive into a deep pond. (Santa, scuba gear for Christmas please!) I've been talking to a Pink Lady. But being a lady I'm sure I won't get far. I'm far from a gentleman. Now that Maxfi Tour had that 40 percent off sale yesterday, I know they are going to want to restock Yellow Balls. I gota get busy if you know what I mean. Winter is here and material is slim. The majority of the contributors to the " How'd you play" thread that are still playing have been roasted already. So to keep a weekly post going is getting rough and I'm thinking outside the box. You have added to the thread greatly. So thanks for keeping me on a roll. YB

OK my bad. Should it be "okay"

I see your having the same problem with one of yours! Well your no help.

Normally I am prepared to talk about another one of my golf trips. Well I just returned earlier today and was sitting down to post about my ordeal. Well I must have been gone a little to long because my middle child from wife # 2 I think, has been hanging out with these kids from school. It seems he must be looking for some attention. I'll have to tell you about my trip next week because there is an urgent need for an intervention. I got home a day early and my son comes walking in the door looking like this. I know I haven't been the best role model. Always on the road and being a little verbose and such. If any responsible parent out there has any advise, I could use all the help I can get. I mean really he isn't even old enough to grow dimples yet and I come home to this! Here I am picking on you guys and this was going on in my own warehouse while I was away.

Ohhhh my aging friend. I see it is time for a check up with your optometrist or you might need those memory enhancing pills. I didn’t take credit. I was given credit. Try reading again. Maybe you read it and forgot that quickly. It's ok it happens to aging actors. Try reading again like you are rehearsing your lines. Now truthfully I am an opportunist. I'll take credit for whatever I can get away with. That's how I roll. He who has the last laugh, laughs loudest. Laughter is the best medicine and thats what this thread is all about. But there have been quite a few that had good things happen after being roasted. Jealousy is not a good trait for you! Obviously your on Santa's naughty list. Loser! Probably because you coaxed your buddies into giving me the middle finger. I'm guessing it won't be long before people are asking me to toss them on the grill. I was thinking about taking off for the holidays. It was a little weird that you are so obsessed with me that you looked into my family history. That's not far from being a stalker. Big guy like you spying on a little ball like me. Creepy.

Good times! Now rest up for 4 to 6 weeks and we can do it again.

I did consider putting them on the grill. Hmmm, Mods on the Grill. Kinda has a nice ring to it. But since they have the power to cut me off, I thought I shouldn't temp fate.

Hey look, yet another spy that had good fortune after being roasted. Congrats on landing the job.

Well, well,, well looks like we have another spy that did well for himself after being roasted by me. Sure glad I got to roast you when I did. Mods are off limits according to YB's rule book. Seriously though....Congratulations

Yellow Ball Phobia Why is it that there is a conscious effort by most to avoid the yellow ball. If you are worried about Yellow Ball because I am an exploiter of your short comings well that’s only because I am trying to help in my own twisted way. I have become an excuse for you hitting a bad shot. I have people calling me names. I had @chisag 's friends give me the middle finger. Then it's been called a Yellow Ball kind of day. Luckily I am thick covered. But I don’t understand. Obviously am doing something right because I have helped a few spies already. There are probably a few others that just don’t want to freaking admit it. It’s okay some of you just aren’t comfortable coming out. Let’s look a bit at the benefits of using a yellow ball. Golf.com and Cleveland published some information. Srixon did a study as well as a few others. Titleist came late to the party but now they offer the ProV1 in a high visibility yellow. Here is some information that I thought you should know. Using a YB will lessen you chance of a lost ball which in turn will speed up play by spending less time looking for your ball. Yellow is easier to see in the fairway, rough, or in the woods. There is some legitimate science behind using a yellow ball that will help you play better. Yellow is the most visible color in the visible spectrum. The color green is associated with a calming effect. So with yellow being most visible against a calming green background you should have a more relaxed swing. That is unless you are looking at the ball and seeing my sweet face. I can be a little intimidating. On your shots or putts, It is easier to focus on a bright yellow target that a dull white one against a green background. A yellow ball in the air is easier to track by a factor of three. It can be seen more effectively over 250 yards compared to a white ball. So why don’t Pro’s use yellow more often? For one thing they have a caddie and a gallery that can help them find their ball. Just a bit of info here, tennis used to use a white ball then switched over to yellow! Who even remembers a white tennis ball? So the good news for you is that using a yellow ball will help you. The bad news is that if some of you switch over to using yellow I might be spending more time in the water. I can’t help you with saving strokes there. I hope I get scuba gear for Christmas.

It's the little things in life that give me the most enjoyment. I have successfully created Yellow Ball Phobia.

Well you have some pretty good company on your birthday! Other than Jesus, It's mine too. I did wish for scuba gear for Christmas. We all know how often that will come in handy.

So I can talk about what I am good at talking about. Duhhhh.

I'm surprised your still upright with all that going on! You might want to put a wheel chair on the Christmas List. Must be a hoot going through the airport with you. Christmas lights going off everywhere. But seriously, I hope the shoulder surgery goes well when you finally get it done. Don't take short cuts on the recovery. Follow doctors orders. I got a text message from a Maxifli Tour YB requesting a search party. Must have been from your shot!

I will pick on people that have been around a while. Why, well because I make the rules. So the other day while spinning the roulette wheel a name came up and for the first time I was a little stumped on my approach. Not being one to let things go I figured I would spin the wheel again and make it a two fer. Short and sweet. So let's get to it. Our first winner was @tommc23 How can you have over six thousand posts and not talk much about your golf game or lack of a golf game? Seems to be easy for @tommc23. What do we know? He obviously likes to cook some mouthwatering meals. Sip on some fine whisky Smokes quality cigars Hunts Trains working dogs for hunting. Golf’s, maybe……. He’s done some testing but certainly doesn’t give a guy like me much to work with! Does he go out and play secretly? Is he afraid of what Yellow Ball will do? I mean really, it looks like my critiquing has actually helped out a few spies. Maybe I need to start being a food critic on the side. Hey, I gota eat anyway! Nah who am I kidding I got to much on my plate already. Get it "on my plate" Sorry, lame YB humor. But being a Fireman I will venture to guess that most dishes are on the spicy side. Spicy dish’s give ole YB gas. But I think some of you guys could use a little extra propulsion off the tee anyway. Just make sure I am facing the right direction. You might not like the smell but you will appreciate the extra distance. Our second spin came up on @fozcycle I noticed the injuries have been growing. I think @fozcycle needs to take a break. His determination to play is admirable. He wound up with Osteoarthritis in his fingers and bilateral carpal tunnel. He’s playing with K tape all over the place and lost his feel on chips and putts. Received steroid shots in his lower back. He also had a partial tear in his right shoulder from a car accident. He’s been taking care of his wife who is recovering from her surgery from the same car accident. Phew there's a lot going on there. Since late August his rounds have been on the rise. From a mid 80’s guy now we are talking about being in the the mid to upper 90’s. Even though Yellow Ball is a calls it as I sees it kind of guy, I won’t kick a guy when he’s down (well I’ll try not to). It’s ok to take a break and let some things heal. We won’t think less of you. Trim the beard or whatever you want to do. @dlow206 has been playing better since he trimmed his beard! Just a thought! Even though the Foz is playing injured he is still scamming the golf community in his area. Who comes in first place and only comes home with a $12.50 payout? Either he is telling a tall tale to hide golf fund money from his wife or he is playing with some real cheapO’s. Note to self, don’t retire to Florida no money to be had there! I couldn't even afford to get refurbished living there and playing with those guys!

Geez man, don't make it so easy for me! I won't go there this is a family channel. Note to self, don't play in @azstu324 foursome especially when not in view of the clubhouse.

I spun the wheel of mis-fortune this morning and @Sluggo42 's name came up. His game seems to be like a roller coaster ride. Playing well then the bottom falls out, then playing well again. I see this with a lot of you spies. The roller coaster analogy just seems to fit. You get on and you have a slow climb to the top just like getting your score or handicap down. Then all the sudden you drop to the bottom. Just like having a bad day. Then you have the twists and turns. Like a slice or a hook creeping in. Then a little uphill climb again. Now you are getting a little better. We will get back to this in a minute. Sluggo42 says he hits his irons better when he chokes up. The only time I get choked up is when a hot pink ball rolls by me. But he seems to get choked up fondling his irons. To each his own I guess! Lately ole Sluggo fell in love with this chick called Adele but she spells it differently “Edel”. He said he fell in love when he opened her box. Too Much Information I believe. Seems like she is doing all the putting for him lately. It’s a good thing too because she's a much better putter. Back to my roller coaster analogy. Have you ever noticed that so many golfers think they found the magic secret to playing golf? Then the next day it doesn’t work anymore or you lost the mojo. Sluggo has found and lost the secret so many times I stopped counting. Let’s break down a few since September shall we! It all started out like this: Really good round and only 25 putts. Right when I think I got this game by the tail, along comes a round where I literally stink, and I can’t even hit the stupid ball. Sorry my bad the Yelllow Ball was in play. Had a few consecutive rounds of stench golfing, and considering stepping away for a while. Yellow Ball can see the game between the ears took a break! Nice round today with an epic front 9. Shot ok, butt 33 putts. He blamed Edel for having gas and heard her fart. Boy if your driver could talk I’m sure he would have some things to say about the noises he hears on the tee box. I’m shooting darts, I haven’t mishit anything. I found the answer to fat hits. My streak of good play continues, in addition to my superb iron play is my driver and fairway woods. Driver has been a little fadey. Play the fade and it goes straight. I’m not picking on Sluggo, but this shows you that this is a typical pattern that most golfers fall into. It happens with the Pro’s too. Look what happened to Bryson yesterday in "The Match". So don’t feel bad when this happens. Don’t throw in the towel, work through it. Laugh it off, tomorrow will be better.

Scuba gear...... for me it's definitely golf related.

Thanks, now I want a baked potato. I use SPF4 to get my handsome color. It works for most places I go. Yet another reason not to go to Arizona in the summer again. Just for the record I have graduated from an institute of higher learning. Magna Cum Laude class of............. wouldn't you like to know! GED...? Nice try!