Tiger not playing The Master's

[Jmikecpa]

Just got the text alert from ESPN that he is out after having back surgery this week for a pinched nerve.

 

and the story from ESPN...

 

http://espn.go.com/golf/masters14/story/_/id/10709313/tiger-woods-back-surgery-pulls-masters

[The Dansome]

I was going to hold off posting this until the April Fools deadline passed.

[RoverRick]

Steiny Hiney released a press statement yesterday saying Tiger would not make any determination until next week.  I am pretty sure this was to stave off the April Fools' crap like this.

[Jmikecpa]

Thought about that, but that is not really something that Tiger's camp would be into.

[GolfSpy WD]

Turns out the real story is Tiger has finally decided to become white. He's known for years that the only way beat Jack's record is to finally fit into the largely rich white man sport. USGA is in fact working on new rules to support this traditionalist approach, similar to what they did when they banned anchored putting. A different sort of ban though. When asked to comment, USGA spokesman light a cigar with a hundred dollar bill and stated he, "used to know someone who knew someone who wasn't white. Possibly the pool boy."

 

With the success of Michael Jackson, Tiger's camp has pushed him for years to make this change. Tiger has resisted for a long time, even trying to tell people he's actually Asian, which no one believed because he isn't good at math.

 

(this post has been pre-approved by Mr. Theoo)

[Mr_Theoo]

Turns out the real story is Tiger has finally decided to become white. He's known for years that the only way beat Jack's record is to finally fit into the largely rich white man sport. USGA is in fact working on new rules to support this traditionalist approach, similar to what they did when they banned anchored putting. A different sort of ban though. When asked to comment, USGA spokesman light a cigar with a hundred dollar bill and stated he, "used to know someone who knew someone who wasn't white. Possibly the pool boy."

 

With the success of Michael Jackson, Tiger's camp has pushed him for years to make this change. Tiger has resisted for a long time, even trying to tell people he's actually Asian, which no one believed because he isn't good at math.

 

(this post has been pre-approved by Mr. Theoo)

LOL hilarious

[Blade]

Turns out the real story is Tiger has finally decided to become white. He's known for years that the only way beat Jack's record is to finally fit into the largely rich white man sport. USGA is in fact working on new rules to support this traditionalist approach, similar to what they did when they banned anchored putting. A different sort of ban though. When asked to comment, USGA spokesman light a cigar with a hundred dollar bill and stated he, "used to know someone who knew someone who wasn't white. Possibly the pool boy."

 

With the success of Michael Jackson, Tiger's camp has pushed him for years to make this change. Tiger has resisted for a long time, even trying to tell people he's actually Asian, which no one believed because he isn't good at math.

 

(this post has been pre-approved by Mr. Theoo)

So now we know....the rest of the story.

[jpcgolf]

I definately was not expecting that