Tell Us Your Best Golf Story

[EZTurbo]

I'm on a Myrtle beach trip w/some buddies. We finish the front 9, but weather is looking bad. We get to 11 tee, and the sky just opens up. Biblical rain. Too late for a rain check, and if you didn't have rain gear on (me and two others), you were soaked instantly. And to the core. We look at each other and say "Screw it, let's just have some fun". I go back to the cart to grab something, walking back, about 15 yards away (maybe less, maybe more - probably why my handicap is so high) my buddy, wearing a Judge-Smalls-free-bowl-of-soup hat - looks me dead in the eye and says - in his best Carl Spackler voice - "I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for a while yet". We're all standing  there, laughing hysterically like idiots, in torrential rain. Played one of the best nines of my life that day. 

[Rantings]

It was a beautiful day , no rain no wind and only in the low 70s . That was about all that was beautiful that day for me. After my partner hit several bumps on the 6th hole my bowels were severely stirred and shaken. My egg breakfast wanted to part my body after I decided not to stop on that hole where a perfectly good port a potty was available. On the 7th my decision on the 6th was found to be pure folly. After my drive I ran to the nearest deep grass and proceeded to have a mighty runny bowel movement that could be smelled on 5 , 6, and 7. Not only that I soiled my shorts by not being careful where I was squatting. The boxers were left there in the grass and put my shorts back on. Needless to say I did not finish the last 7 8 or 9.  Fortunately we were on a golf trip and I left my cart partner with his bag and went to the car to get a new pair of shorts and boxers . Well thankfully the club had a shower and cleaned myself up. Dried myself off with paper towels and threw away the also soiled shorts and shirt. (Brand new bought for this trip) 

What I learned:

1) Never eat eggs before golfing. 
2) always take boxers, wet wipes, and toilet paper in the bag. 
3) keep a change of clothes and towel in vehicle. 

 

[Rob Person]

32 minutes ago, Rantings said:

It was a beautiful day , no rain no wind and only in the low 70s . That was about all that was beautiful that day for me. After my partner hit several bumps on the 6th hole my bowels were severely stirred and shaken. My egg breakfast wanted to part my body after I decided not to stop on that hole where a perfectly good port a potty was available. On the 7th my decision on the 6th was found to be pure folly. After my drive I ran to the nearest deep grass and proceeded to have a mighty runny bowel movement that could be smelled on 5 , 6, and 7. Not only that I soiled my shorts by not being careful where I was squatting. The boxers were left there in the grass and put my shorts back on. Needless to say I did not finish the last 7 8 or 9.  Fortunately we were on a golf trip and I left my cart partner with his bag and went to the car to get a new pair of shorts and boxers . Well thankfully the club had a shower and cleaned myself up. Dried myself off with paper towels and threw away the also soiled shorts and shirt. (Brand new bought for this trip) 

What I learned:

1) Never eat eggs before golfing. 
2) always take boxers, wet wipes, and toilet paper in the bag. 
3) keep a change of clothes and towel in vehicle. 

 

I really wanted to laugh react, but im sure everyone here has had a near close call or worse.

I've left the hunting/camping area sleeveless or shirtless a time or two

[MissionMan]

I posted this previously so it's a repost in this thread

I'm 51 this year, and this occured back in our early 20's so it was a long time ago. We had a mate who constantly cheated at golf. he'd hit the ball in the rough and miraculously find it teed up on a tuft of grass like it was placed there by the hand of god. Even water was a risk where he'd find it on the edge of the water. He's the only person in history who never had a bad lie. We knew it was coming every time.

One Saturday, we were playing golf, it was a long par 5, second shot up a really steep hill where you couldn't see the flag or the green, there was a pole sticking up in the air which gave you the line to the green. He hit an amazing drive. As much as he was a cheating scumbag, he could also hit the ball a long way, around 300. In the next shot, he hit a 3 wood, and we watched it go over the blind rise in the direction of where the green was, but he hit it hard, maybe too hard from the looks of it, so we figured it would be over the back of the green. As we got up the hill, it wasn't on the green and we suddenly realised there was out of bounds behind the green (we hadn't played the course before so none of us knew). There was maybe 5 yards of knee deep rough behind the green. It was clear to everyone, it probably went into the rough or out of bounds because he hit it so well.

He went searching while we hit our next shots, but we heard the usual "found it". I was expecting it, I knew he had dropped it but I hadn't been watching him. It was going to be tough finding a ball in that rough. He managed to chip on, two putt for par and I walked off pretty annoyed at another cheating situation from him.

As I walked off on my way to the next green, one of my other friends pulled me aside and pointed to a bulge in his pocket. I asked him what it was and he said it was the cheating mates ball. He found it in the hole. With the upslope being so steep, we didn't realise he had lost a good 30 yards and his ball and holed out. My mate saw it when he went to grab the pin and hadn't told him. The odds of a hole in one are 12,500 to 1 and the odds of a albatross are about 6 million to 1.

To date, we never told him, I mean, why would we, it couldn't have been his ball...he found it in the rough behind the green. He eventually drifted from the group, or we stopped inviting him, so we never had any reason to tell him. His golf was a reflection of his general morals and ethics in life, cheating on girlfriend after girlfriend, divorced with multiple affairs, trying to hit on friends girlfriends. 

[Rantings]

9 hours ago, Rob Person said:

I really wanted to laugh react, but im sure everyone here has had a near close call or worse.

I've left the hunting/camping area sleeveless or shirtless a time or two

I found it hilarious after a 5 year ago timeframe. It’s been 16 years ago. 

[RHB75]

Several years ago, I was playing the Air Force Academy’s Eisenhower Blue Course with two friends. I hit my driver shot into the fairway sand trap which is about 200 yards from the pin. On a bet I pulled out my 2-iron (yes back then I could actually hit that club) and hit what I still consider the best shot of my life. A two-iron sand shot that nestled 5-feet from the pin. And I have witnesses.

[Gravenor]

This happened just yesterday, and me and my brother thought it was hilarious.

Picture the scene. We are playing a two-ball better ball format. Hole 3.

The tee shot was poor to say the least. My brother put a 3-Wood out of bounds right, and I topped a 4-Wood along the floor, luckily rolling about 100 yards down the cart path, across the bridge and over the water. (I know, glamorous stuff).

We took relief from the cart path, dropping into thick rough. The sun was low, and we are hitting directly into it, so our eyes were squinting and it was hard to see where the green was.

Just to quickly preface this, as of about two weeks ago, my trusty Bushnell died. This has made me realise how genuinely awful I am at predicting distances and how dependant I have become on my rangefinder... but no bother, i'm sure my eyes wont lie to me too much. I've got this.

A quick look at the green, or at least what I can see of it, and I think its probably 140-150 yards(ish). Brilliant. Distance analysis done, I pull my 9-iron.

"What you hitting"? My brother asks me.

"It looks all of a 9 to me mate". I tell him.

"Really? Are you sure? How far do you think that is?" He asks me.

"I don't know mate, 140? 150? Can't see a thing". I respond.

Having just put a couple of beers away, and given my confidence in my brothers lack of ability to determine the distance after watching him pull a gap wedge, I decided to make it interesting.

"£50 I put this inside 15 feet", I tell him.

My brother chuckles and goes "Yeah why not, let's do it".

I'm confident. The lie isn't bad, i've got green to work with, and i've picked a club that - assuming my distance prediction is even close to correct - should leave me a little short, at worst.

So... here it goes. I take my swing, and... bang. Flush. Like a knife through butter I watch arguably the purest 9-iron I have ever hit soar through the sky, right at the flag.

"THAT IS A DART. That is all over it mate, GO IN". I shout.

I couldn't have hit it better, and the tight draw is bringing the ball dead in line with the flag. We watch eagerly, and my brother says nothing - no doubt stunned at the accuracy of my call, and the beauty of the shot I have seemingly pulled out of nowhere.

The ball starts its final descent towards the pin. This £50 is mine, theres no two ways about it.

And then.. Nothing.

Nothing, that is, until I watch the ball carry the green...

and the water filled ditch directly behind the green...

and all of the trees behind that.

The only feedback I got from that shot was the unmistakeable sound of a golf ball crash-landing into the greenkeepers yard directly behind the infinite forestry framing my initial target, smashing to pieces whatever unfortunately placed vehicle or piece of machinery lay out of view.

The only audible sound to follow that was... well, of course, my brother wheezing and hitting the floor in uncontrollable laughter. I have to be honest, I followed immediately after. Never have I lost a bet in such humiliating and hilarious fashion. We actually had to let the group behind us play through to give ourselves time to find some sort of composure, and given the current lack of ability on show, I don't think that was a bad idea.

Just incase anyone was wondering, no vehicles or people were injured during this unfortunate turn of events... just a very large dent in the equipment warehouse, which the green-keeping staff thought was just as amusing as we did. I even got my ball back.

So, rangefinder suggestions anyone? 

 

[JerryK]

My first golf trip across the Atlantic was with a friend and we drove around the entire coast of Ireland and Northern Ireland and our first course was a nine holer, Mulranny, which had an honor box to pay your greens fee and it was on public land with animals grazing on the course including a cow which joined me on the third tee.  A few days later we played another nine holer, Cruit Island, which is just magical with its views of the sea including a par 3 which plays across a ravine with waves crashing as you hit your tee shot.  The other memorable course was playing Royal Portrush where we were paired with two older gentlemen.  One of them was Billy Tennant who had been the Irish Amateur Champion multiple times and was wearing plus fours and had some great stories to tell; his playing partner gave each of us a book about Billy that explained that over the course of his life he had made a 2 on every hole on Royal Portrush but he had never had a hole in one.  About two years later I got an email from his friend showing Billy taking the ball out of the hole where he had made his first hole in one; a sad footnote is that he passed away a year later. 

[GolfSpy SAM]

1 hour ago, gravenor said:

This happened just yesterday, and me and my brother thought it was hilarious.

Picture the scene. We are playing a two-ball better ball format. Hole 3.

The tee shot was poor to say the least. My brother put a 3-Wood out of bounds right, and I topped a 4-Wood along the floor, luckily rolling about 100 yards down the cart path, across the bridge and over the water. (I know, glamorous stuff).

We took relief from the cart path, dropping into thick rough. The sun was low, and we are hitting directly into it, so our eyes were squinting and it was hard to see where the green was.

Just to quickly preface this, as of about two weeks ago, my trusty Bushnell died. This has made me realise how genuinely awful I am at predicting distances and how dependant I have become on my rangefinder... but no bother, i'm sure my eyes wont lie to me too much. I've got this.

A quick look at the green, or at least what I can see of it, and I think its probably 140-150 yards(ish). Brilliant. Distance analysis done, I pull my 9-iron.

"What you hitting"? My brother asks me.

"It looks all of a 9 to me mate". I tell him.

"Really? Are you sure? How far do you think that is?" He asks me.

"I don't know mate, 140? 150? Can't see a thing". I respond.

Having just put a couple of beers away, and given my confidence in my brothers lack of ability to determine the distance after watching him pull a gap wedge, I decided to make it interesting.

"£50 I put this inside 15 feet", I tell him.

My brother chuckles and goes "Yeah why not, let's do it".

I'm confident. The lie isn't bad, i've got green to work with, and i've picked a club that - assuming my distance prediction is even close to correct - should leave me a little short, at worst.

So... here it goes. I take my swing, and... bang. Flush. Like a knife through butter I watch arguably the purest 9-iron I have ever hit soar through the sky, right at the flag.

"THAT IS A DART. That is all over it mate, GO IN". I shout.

I couldn't have hit it better, and the tight draw is bringing the ball dead in line with the flag. We watch eagerly, and my brother says nothing - no doubt stunned at the accuracy of my call, and the beauty of the shot I have seemingly pulled out of nowhere.

The ball starts its final descent towards the pin. This £50 is mine, theres no two ways about it.

And then.. Nothing.

Nothing, that is, until I watch the ball carry the green...

and the water filled ditch directly behind the green...

and all of the trees behind that.

The only feedback I got from that shot was the unmistakeable sound of a golf ball crash-landing into the greenkeepers yard directly behind the infinite forestry framing my initial target, smashing to pieces whatever unfortunately placed vehicle or piece of machinery lay out of view.

The only audible sound to follow that was... well, of course, my brother wheezing and hitting the floor in uncontrollable laughter. I have to be honest, I followed immediately after. Never have I lost a bet in such humiliating and hilarious fashion. We actually had to let the group behind us play through to give ourselves time to find some sort of composure, and given the current lack of ability on show, I don't think that was a bad idea.

Just incase anyone was wondering, no vehicles or people were injured during this unfortunate turn of events... just a very large dent in the equipment warehouse, which the green-keeping staff thought was just as amusing as we did. I even got my ball back.

So, rangefinder suggestions anyone? 

 

This is outstanding. Lol. You had to be, what? Inside 100 for it to sail all that way over? Or did you (as I've done at least twice now) grab the 6-iron instead of the 9?

Love the story - thanks so much for sharing!

[Gravenor]

15 hours ago, GolfSpy SAM said:

This is outstanding. Lol. You had to be, what? Inside 100 for it to sail all that way over? Or did you (as I've done at least twice now) grab the 6-iron instead of the 9?

Love the story - thanks so much for sharing!

Oh it must've been about 90 yards  - The sun was in my eyes. That is my defence and i'm sticking to it... 

I genuinely would have put my car on that being within ten feet, thats how confident I was.

You're right, maybe it was the 6 - but we were laughing so much I didn't even think to look.

Edited August 13 by Gravenor

[CorporateGolfRat]

Love this thread. I played with a majority of retires so I hear more stories than golf stories. (Not a problem to me, just how it goes! Don't want the retired community to come down on me lol) I did however play a round with 3 retired US Marine Colonel's. Those guys were awesome and told some hilarious, but inappropriate, stories about travelling over seas to Asia, Europe, and even Australia! 

I saw it earlier on in the thread but probably one of my favorite things about golf is that you get paired with randoms and meet some of the best people that way. I will say it can be some of the worst rounds when you have a bad pairing haha.

[Ye Olde Gingerbeard Man]

My best golf story is my 396 yard drive at Puerto Los Cabos. It had slope to help, I will never try to deny that. But yeah, 396 on the fairway. It was one of my best days off the tee box and of course, a well below average for me with my irons and wedges.

[Daddyawn]

An old friend was going to be in town from Oregon so we planned a foursome at a course he played high school golf at. The weather called for possible rain later in the day so we were optimistic. We were having a great time (beers and a celebratory Jameson assisted) when the sky started to darken...we played on of course. We all just made the green on 15 when the clouds opened and proceeded to deposit buckets of rain on us. only three holes left and we haven't heard a siren so, play on. 16 we heard thunder and saw distant lightning but no siren, play on. 17, the skies started to lighten along with the rain, drenched rats...play on. On the 18th, we are on the approach with two of us on the green when a ranger in a cart comes racing from the clubhouse and yells at us that there is lightning, get off the course! One player yelled back, "We didn't hear a siren!" No response as the ranger hightailed it back to the clubhouse. We finished, had a good laugh, a few more beers and will definitely be planning another outing...maybe in Oregon next time; my friend said in April you can go play golf, ski and hit the beach on the same day.

[ClevelandGirl]

Girl golfer story: when I play 9, I usually walk and it’s usually at a very busy course here in Cleveland. One of the rangers is an old friend of mine, and I played there the year of this story usually 2-4 times a week because it was quick and I liked the walk, so by mid summer I pretty much knew all the starters and rangers and clubhouse staff. Felt like the old TV show Cheers half the time.

I had just paid for my 9, and dropped the receipt without realizing it. From all the way across the club store and in the bar area, I hear this terribly pompous man’s voice. “You dropped your receipt little miss. Now that’s important, you’re going to need that to show to the starter. He’ll be in the little shack outside, okay?”

While I’m maneuvering so I don’t moon him when I bend over to grab the receipt, I’m debating whether not to make a fuss and go with a polite “thank you” or go with a more old school playground “no s*** Sherlock” when I hear the assistant course manager’s annoyed voice from behind the register. “Get over yourself Carl, she plays here four times a week, way more often than you.”

I’m laughing as I walk up to Ben the starter, and have to tell him the story, and he gets immediately irritated. “I’d send you off with his group so you could show him how a real golfer plays, he’s a cheater too. But I don’t want to subject you to that arsehole either. Hang out in here with me, I’ll get you out in ten.”

Cheers to my boys that got my back, and suck it, Carl

[Johann Oosthuizen]

I have posted this before, but it was my best golf story/experience for the year so far. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

This year we once again had our annual family and friends golf day (Magalies27) at Magalies Golf Estate in South Africa on June 29.

The format of the day was as follows:

• 2 Teams,  "Eagle Hunters" and "Dirty Birdies" playing in pairs, match play
• Morning session = 9 Holes off the back nine, playing alternate shots, 1pt per hole and winners get an additional point for the win of the 9 holes
• Afternoon session = 18 holes, better ball, 1 pt per hole and winners for each 9 get an additional point for the win, and winners of the 18 get an additional point for the win of the match.
• Trophies for winning team, highest individual points, longest drive, nearest the pin, lowest gross, "Thanks for coming"

Results:

• Team points: DRAW
• Champion golfer: Cathalene 30pts (my wife and the only lady in the field)
• Best gross: Wihann 85
• Longest drive: Divan
• Nearest the pin: Corné
• TFC: Zander 16
• Team winners due to most trophies: Dirty Birdies

Here is a SD video of the day.  Language in Afrikaans.

 

Edited August 29 by Johann Oosthuizen

[Johann Oosthuizen]

On 8/20/2024 at 7:12 PM, Daddyawn said:

An old friend was going to be in town from Oregon so we planned a foursome at a course he played high school golf at. The weather called for possible rain later in the day so we were optimistic. We were having a great time (beers and a celebratory Jameson assisted) when the sky started to darken...we played on of course. We all just made the green on 15 when the clouds opened and proceeded to deposit buckets of rain on us. only three holes left and we haven't heard a siren so, play on. 16 we heard thunder and saw distant lightning but no siren, play on. 17, the skies started to lighten along with the rain, drenched rats...play on. On the 18th, we are on the approach with two of us on the green when a ranger in a cart comes racing from the clubhouse and yells at us that there is lightning, get off the course! One player yelled back, "We didn't hear a siren!" No response as the ranger hightailed it back to the clubhouse. We finished, had a good laugh, a few more beers and will definitely be planning another outing...maybe in Oregon next time; my friend said in April you can go play golf, ski and hit the beach on the same day.

I also sometimes hold myself deaf to the sound of the lightning strikes, waiting to hear the siren which is often much lower dB's that the lightning...

[FeeLinWoozey]

I have a few funny little stories when I was a kid I did this almost regularly when my dad would be walking across the green I would be chipping and I would buzz a ball right past him and sink it now I can hardly get close to sinking it. Then I've had three almost hole in ones two on the same hole where it hit the side of the cup and shot off to the side of the green I've been close but no cigar.