Negative attitude?

[Kenny B]

As I posted on the "How'd you play?" thread, my wife and I played with another couple on a course that we only play a few times a year. I played great for me on that course. The guy is nice and we play a lot together, mostly on my 9-hole executive course that I like to practice on. He always complains about the conditions of that course and says that he always plays better on nicer courses.

 

Well, yesterday he had a day that looked like most any other time I play with him. Not good. He's a decent player; good chipper and putter, but when he hits one bad shot then another, things start to get ugly. He gets so negative about his game, slams clubs, and I thought once he was going to snap his putter. His wife actually gets upset with him, but even that doesn't seem to quiet him down. The problem is that it usually affects both my wife and I and our game suffers. Yesterday it affected my wife game; she shot her worst round in 10 years. I, however, just completely ignored him and shot +8 with a double, my best round in quite awhile. My playing well also seemed to make things worse for him when he hit a bad shot. I wasn't the most pleasant playing partner because I said very little all day (usually we chat all during the round). I didn't even say "Nice shot" when he had one, because I know that he say "blind squirrel".

 

So, how do you guys deal with a playing partner's bad attitude? I suppose that it could be different if it is a friend or someone that you just joined up with.

[RookieBlue7]

If it's a friend, I give them crap just like they would me. If it's someone I was paired up with, I'll leave the course or tell them to play ahead and I'll stick behind. With friends we're out to have a good time and good natures ribbing is part of it. But we've known each other a long time and know where the line is when not to take it too far.

[Severtheties]

Agreed on the friendship part. If this is someone I'm friends with I will usually just say something about noticing them not playing well and not enjoying and ask if there's anything I can do to help. Maybe something they're working on that I can keep and eye on or offer up some advice. If it's someone I don't know ill let them play ahead.

 

My dad used to have a really bad temper on the course. So bad that I finally looked at him and told him that if he continues that I would play with him any longer. My mom did the same thing to him. That changed him pretty quickly. He get frustrated but can usually reel it in and continue having a good time.

[Mr_Theoo]

I just ignore it the best I can. I'm pretty easy going so it doesn't get to me too much. I have noticed that my play has declined if someone is acting overly negative or obnoxious. 

[Kenny B]

There are times when he shows up and I can tell that he is going to play lousy before he hits the first tee shot. "Well, I wonder where this shot's going today?" I know it's not going to hit the fairway, because he will either pull it or hit a weak slice. I don't say anything, because he thinks he knows everything there is to know about golf. Then I hit one down the middle.

 

I probably wouldn't play much with him except our wives are good friends.

[wbealsd]

I probably wouldn't play much with him except our wives are good friends.

Well, if he always acts like this when he gets frustrated, you'll probably get along better with her next husband

[fozcycle]

I would find a new playing partner. Life is too short to constantly put up with the Bu$&@h#% of others who do not care. We have one guy that only drinks on Saturday when he plays. He drinks way too much, then becomes a real nuisance. Last week he made some foolish accusations after we penalized a player in our tournament. He wanted the other player disqualified. Well, both of them have withdrawn from our Saturday Game. As much as I enjoy his company (before he gets drunk) I must say our game will be better off.

[Baseballfrk8998]

When I play with guys like this I usually just agree with them when they go on a rant about their game.

 

There's one guy in particular that I play with that is this way. He'll hit a shot that isn't bad, but not as great as he wants. I'll tell him "nice shot" and he'll be like no it wasn't. It sucked.

 

I used to just let it go and just keep complimenting him when he did hit a good shot.. But it got tiring listening to him complain. Now when he hits a bad shot and complains, I just agree with him. He hits a shot and is like "that was terrible" and I just agree and say something like "yeah it was, wtf were you thinking?"

 

Usually doesn't take him long to get the hint. It's pretty comical though. Sometimes being a smart a** can be beneficial!

[Undershooter]

I have one friend who does this when he plays poorly. He wasn't playing great today and I generally just let it go. Today he had the odasity to tell me that I was the luckiest player he had scene when I played a shot submerged in water onto the 15th green like bill Haas did a few year's ago. I asked him if he was feeling "lucky" enough to replicate it. Didn't hear a bad word from him the rest of the round. Generally I just ignore it until it bothers the rest of the group. Then I say something about him needing to cheer up.

 

Edit: This is the 3rd time he has scene me do this. He knows better than to call It lucky.

[Kenny B]

I have one friend who does this when he plays poorly. He wasn't playing great today and I generally just let it go. Today he had the odasity to tell me that I was the luckiest player he had scene when I played a shot submerged in water onto the 15th green like bill Haas did a few year's ago. I asked him if he was feeling "lucky" enough to replicate it. Didn't hear a bad word from him the rest of the round. Generally I just ignore it until it bothers the rest of the group. Then I say something about him needing to cheer up.

Edit: This is the 3rd time he has scene me do this. He knows better than to call It lucky.

Sounds unlucky to me. What are you doing in the water?

[revkev]

I just ignore it the best I can. I'm pretty easy going so it doesn't get to me too much. I have noticed that my play has declined if someone is acting overly negative or obnoxious.

 

I can't imagine anyone having a bad attitude while playing with you.

 

I have two really close friends. The one was so bad that it was ridiculous. He is such a good friend that I'd play with him but it was never fun. It was so bad that a couple of our mutual friends called me and asked me to have a talk with him. I'd like to say that I did but before I could something happened. He's totally changed and now is delightful to play with. Rookie may remember him from elsewhere. He's the on who threw my Adams driver and chipped the paint. You'd never know it playing with him now.

 

My other friend is something else as well. He's not a very good player so it's really pretty comical. With him that's how I handle it, I just laugh at him.

[Kenny B]

When I play with guys like this I usually just agree with them when they go on a rant about their game.

There's one guy in particular that I play with that is this way. He'll hit a shot that isn't bad, but not as great as he wants. I'll tell him "nice shot" and he'll be like no it wasn't. It sucked.

I used to just let it go and just keep complimenting him when he did hit a good shot.. But it got tiring listening to him complain. Now when he hits a bad shot and complains, I just agree with him. He hits a shot and is like "that was terrible" and I just agree and say something like "yeah it was, wtf were you thinking?"

Usually doesn't take him long to get the hint. It's pretty comical though. Sometimes being a smart a** can be beneficial!

Other than his attitude when playing poorly, I like the guy. I do pretty much the same thing when we are just out having fun; I compliment his good shots hoping that maybe he will snap out of it. That might work if he hits a few in a row. He fancys himself to be a really good putter and he is pretty good, but if his putting is off, wow! Yesterday it was off, and we were playing a course that I have never played that well. I really wanted to shoot a good score. So I just left him alone and didn't say a word the entire round. I focused on my shot at hand. Granted, I had to do a lot of focusing because the driver wasn't working all that well. Some decent approaches from long range and a bunch of good up and downs saved my round.

[RookieBlue7]

I can't imagine anyone having a bad attitude while playing with you.

 

I have two really close friends. The one was so bad that it was ridiculous. He is such a good friend that I'd play with him but it was never fun. It was so bad that a couple of our mutual friends called me and asked me to have a talk with him. I'd like to say that I did but before I could something happened. He's totally changed and now is delightful to play with. Rookie may remember him from elsewhere. He's the on who threw my Adams driver and chipped the paint. You'd never know it playing with him now.

 

My other friend is something else as well. He's not a very good player so it's really pretty comical. With him that's how I handle it, I just laugh at him.

Not sure who that reference is to... But Rev's buddies were definitrely an eclectic group when I was in Tampa and played last with he, Jax and Foz. 

[GolfSpy Barbajo]

I was that guy this Saturday - by about the 14th hole the game was so far gone it wasn't funny, and I could tell I was being a jackass and probably pissing off my playing partners.  That was the time I decided to pick up if the hole got ugly and watch the other guys play -- worked out well because there was a hell of a match going on between a scratch golfer and a 12 handicap.  The 12 held on to win -- $10 from each of us.  It was fun to watch and root for the underdog - and he didn't crack under the pressure!!

 

Have a buddy who is always that guy - it takes one bad shot to set him off and things spiral from there, and no amount of encouragement will bring him out of it.  

[Bogey in The Woods]

i have been that guy many times. My wife also is quick to point out that I play golf to have fun; So what the hell is the problem, because I am not having fun now. 

 

What I have started doing when I am having one of THOSE rounds, is simply stop keeping score. don't think about the strokes. Just concentrate on the next shot.  Golf would be a PERFECT sport/hobby/pastime if we simply didn't have to keep score. 

[Undershooter]

Sounds unlucky to me. What are you doing in the water?

Exactly! Lol

[Kenny B]

i have been that guy many times. My wife also is quick to point out that I play golf to have fun; So what the hell is the problem, because I am not having fun now. 

 

What I have started doing when I am having one of THOSE rounds, is simply stop keeping score. don't think about the strokes. Just concentrate on the next shot.  Golf would be a PERFECT sport/hobby/pastime if we simply didn't have to keep score. 

 

 

Actually, in the case of the guy I was playing with, we usually don't keep score.  My wife and I play with them just to catch up on what's happening.  It's more social than a typical golf round.  He is the same whether it is social or competitive.  Last year we played in a scramble and that will be the last time I will do that!  It really affects my game too.

 

As for being that guy...  I probably was (although I never throw a club).  My wife used to call me Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh!  I took jmiller's advice last year and as my attitude improved, so did my score.

[jaxbeachpackerfan]

I'm lucky--our Tuesday/ Friday group and the somewhat associated weekend group have varied but very tolerable personalities.  We've not had an issue requiring intervention in years.  Knock on wood!

[sp0rtsfan86]

I've been that person a few times, but played with a lot of other people who were much worse.

 

My two best golf buddies both admitted to me that our vegas trip wore them down and by the end, they were done with golf for awhile. It took me 48 hours to be back on a course the day my flight left. My buddy generally will get mad and start missing putts, but doesn't get too out of control that he can't laugh at himself... or me.

 

Just one of those, try to let it go or make a joke out of it.