Slow Play Knuckleheads

[chisag]

... I get paired up with a guy that is probably about a 18 handicap or close to that. He hit some really bad shots but also a few really good ones. Joe, a nice kid in his mid 20's that had been playing for 3 seasons and this was his 4th. The course was pretty much empty with at least 4/5 holes open in front of us and behind us, with the exception of a 4some just ahead of us. 

... We waited on every tee and quite often waited for their 3rd shot from the fairway before we were able to tee off. The problem was Joe could  hit some very errant shots so it was hard to get to the next tee before they finished teeing off but usually they are driving away as we arrived. Par 3 8th at only 167yds was brutal, with one guy duffing his tee shot, then taking 5 more shots to reach. We waited on that tee for over 14 minutes. On 9 Joe asked me to look at his swing and give him some advice as he was only playing 9, so I did and that let the 4some in front get to the back 9 before I could get in front of them.  

... I tee off on 10, a short par 4 and was 60yds from the green waiting from them to drop from the heather, finally start putting and drive off to the next hole. I hit my approach to 10 feet, cozy up the putt and move to 11. Two of them have not teed off yet, and I hung back about 20 feet not wanting to be rude and walk up on them. They hit their drives, and start getting in their carts to drive off, the first two already heading down the fairway. I said to the one guy getting behind the wheel "Excuse me ..." was all I got out as he looks at me and interrupts "where's your partner?" I said he was only playing 9 and he said "Oh" and started to drive off. I was incredulous but should not have been as they made us wait the entire front 9 but said "You didn't even consider letting me play thru?" He said "No we thought you were a twosome" and I said we were and we waited every singe hole on the front so I thought you would wave me thru on the back" ... "F*ck you ya cry baby, quit whining. If you would have asked to play thru maybe we would have let you, but now you can stay behind us where you belong". The other guys drove back as it got loud and joined in with the insults. I told them I had been playing golf for over 40 years and never ran across a ruder group of guys. Of course alcohol was involved as they kept pulling beers out of their bags. 3 of them in their late 50's or early 60's and one of them in his late 40's.  

... I just walked up the far left side of the rough and two of them actually tried to hit me with golf balls, thankfully they did not have the skill to come close and one of them lost a ball in the heather. I teed off on 12, a par 3, hit it to 3 feet and made birdie. As I was walking off that green they were yelling at me from the 11th green, something about needing a dress among there insults but I just ignored them. The really insane part of my little tale is these guys thought I was the a$$hole. As I finished up on 18 I could see them just coming to the 15th tee and it was 8:15 and going to be well over a 5 hour round that they would not be able to finish before dark. 

... 95% of the time I play as a single groups in front usually wave me thru when there are open holes. I have been offered to go thru on occasion during crowded days but thank them and decline as obviously there just isn't any where to go. 4% of the time they do not offer but thankfully only these 4 guys have taken rudeness to another level. 

[null]

I would have definitely reported them to the clubhouse during and after the round.

[GB13]

Wow, what a story. Many Kudos to you for not losing you cool; that is quite impressive. I don't know what people are thinking. I honestly don't know how these people find 3 other friends to golf with. If I knew someone who started acting like that, I would probably tell them off. It sucks that there are people in the world that would act like that. I hope you told your tale to the clubhouse. These people should never be allowed on the course again.

[Charli]

Man that makes my blood boil!!!! Complete trash and there's no way I'd be able to handle myself with a complete stranger talking to me like that. I would lose my s***.

[NiftyNiblick]

Inexcusable behavior is just that, but there are other aspects to slow golf.

 

I remember that Golf Magazine and Golf Digest alike both had a couple of crusades going on back in the eighties..

 

One was about slow play and how four rounds should be enough to finish a round of golf.

 

The other was about reducing watering and maintenance by having more natural courses and more "target golf."

 

The concepts are obviously mutually exclusive--fast play takes place at wide open and meticulously maintained courses--but neither periodical had the courage to print my letter explaining that. 

 

I hate to say it, but you know what else doesn't help?  Walkers.  Especially walkers my age.

 

Here's the real truth: beginners, infrequent players, most juniors, most ladies, and many seniors hit the ball a lot and that takes time.

 

And I'm against taking any of them out of the game.

 

I'm retired.  I've got the five hours or so, and I'm not in a hurry. People in a hurry are usually working when I play on weekday mornings.

 

But here's what really should have happened to adapt golf to American living. 

 

When the USGA was formed, they should have defined AMERICAN golf as nine holes.  Nine holes takes as long as a softball game or three strings of bowling in a league. It's what we usually alot for sports participation.  I'm sure--absolutely sure--that golf would be a bigger game in America today if they had done that.

[chisag]

... I don't drink and I know there are golfers that have one or two beers to relax on the course. But those that show up with a 12 pack hidden in their bag really should be tossed before they start. Clearly these guys were alcohol fueled. Brutal standing on the tee and then watching one cart drive over to the other while we wait and transfer beers from their ice bag to the other cart. 

[revkev]

Man, imagine the crap that they must have going on in their lives as to be so pitiful to act like that.  And to have all four of the people whose lives are the most miserable on earth at the same time, wow!

 

I'm one of those have a Bloody Mary or perhaps a Beer or two on the course if I'm not in competition kind of guys.  I can assure you that it makes me mellower and not angrier - if it made me act like this I'd head for the first AA meeting that I could find and never touch a drop again. 

 

So sorry Chisag.  No one deserves to be treated like that.

[NiftyNiblick]

I'm rarely accused of being a moderate person, but I've always believed that moderation is for the consumption of adult beverages.

 

Some people can't do that...enjoy beverages in responsible amounts... and because of that, should abstain altogether. 

 

I know that it isn't fair, but my being too sore to hits balls today wasn't fair either. 

 

Anyway, growing up in my neighborhood, dago red was mother's milk to me, and immoderate consumption was never glamorized.  The few times that I allowed myself to be overserved were my own fault entirely.  Thankfully, those few occasions didn't precipitate consequences.

[chisag]

... Thanks revkev, as I said I know plenty of people have a little sumpin' to relax and assume only 10% of the time people are drunken idiots. But I have played so many rounds of golf this year as a single, probably around 125 or more between Orlando, Phoenix and back home when I never know my schedule, often getting a call form my agent for an audition the night before. And out of those 125 plus rounds, I have run across another group that wasn't exactly pleasant, although not complete idiots and these yahoos. So 1 out of 125 isn't bad odds. 

[NiftyNiblick]

I finally get it.

 

Chicago is half the name and Screen Actors' Guild is the other half.

 

How totally cool!

 

I don't feel too smart for taking this long, however.

[chisag]

I finally get it.

 

Chicago is half the name and Screen Actors' Guild is the other half.

 

How totally cool!

 

I don't feel too smart for taking this long, however.

 

 

... I didn't think it was that obvious. Plus I will have to change my name to Phosag if I move to Phoenix. ; ) 

[MaxEntropy]

... I didn't think it was that obvious. Plus I will have to change my name to Phosag if I move to Phoenix. ; )

Even before I knew your occupation, sag always reminded of the screen actors guild so that's what I thought of when I saw your name, whether it was correct or not. Glad to know it actually is correct.

 

Sent from my BLN-L24 using MyGolfSpy mobile app

[Charli]

I've been drunk playing golf many many many times. But to act like a complete doucher is on another level. I don't think I've ever been angry to another golf patron unless i was mistreated first. Having someone ask to play through should provoke that amount of anger. Maybe golf isn't for them try WWE or UFC

[00sportsman]

Sorry to hear about your experience. I can't stand it when people get that way, and alcohol is never an acceptable excuse.

 

It's almost the complete opposite of what I expect from people playing a game so reliant on etiquette and honor.

 

Sent from my XT1585 using MyGolfSpy mobile app

[Kanoito]

Sorry to hear that, man.

I thought they would be a drunk flight of college boys feeling all manly and stuff... until I read they were actually in their 50-60's.

Seriously... old enough to be someone's grandfather and still acting like a twat?

 

But just like jlukes said, I would have definitely called the marshall on them... not so much about slow play, but the way they got aggressive, insulting, tried to hit you with balls... that's just borderline criminal. 4 drunk assholes with weapons in their hands, you never know what could happen.

 

Stay safe!

[Alf. S]

Totally out of order.

 

Never had this happen but once had guys behind hit at the green when we were putting on 3 consecutive holes. I stopped at the 6th and politely offered to let them play thru. The guy got a bit stropy and asked why and I said because they have nearly hit us on 3 occasions at which he started to argue and it kicked off. One of my playing partners is an ex-Royal Marine and wanted to go and rip his head off. Thankfully I talked him down and we disappeared up the 6th never to see the guys again. We were not hanging around but these guys were hitting drives on to 300 yd par 4s and 2nd shots into par 5s from 250yds. In this case no alcohol was involved but I'm afraid you will always come across some right w@nker$ no matter where you are. 

[GregB135]

Absolutely no excuse for their behavior. 

With open holes in front of them, they should have recognized and allowed you through.

[MattF]

Totally out of order.

 

Never had this happen but once had guys behind hit at the green when we were putting on 3 consecutive holes. I stopped at the 6th and politely offered to let them play thru. The guy got a bit stropy and asked why and I said because they have nearly hit us on 3 occasions at which he started to argue and it kicked off. One of my playing partners is an ex-Royal Marine and wanted to go and rip his head off. Thankfully I talked him down and we disappeared up the 6th never to see the guys again. We were not hanging around but these guys were hitting drives on to 300 yd par 4s and 2nd shots into par 5s from 250yds. In this case no alcohol was involved but I'm afraid you will always come across some right w@nker$ no matter where you are. 

 

If any of you guys can't understand some of the words here, I can translate for you! Beautiful use of stropy and wankers alfs.

[russtopherb]

Like mentioned earlier, that behavior absolutely warranted a call to the clubhouse. That's unacceptable.

 

I get the POV that people who pay their greens fee should play their round as they choose. Slow, fast, drunk, high, whatever. However, their choice doesn't come at the expense of everyone else's to play as THEY see fit. So if they were holding you up, then they should have allowed you through. 

 

Bottom line, drunken idiots like that need to be reported before they hurt someone else, or themselves, or the course itself. I remember seeing a completely inebriated golfer duff a chip and proceed to take about a 4 foot hole out of the green in frustration with his wedge. So it's not just other golfers some drunken yahoo is going to impact sometimes. 

[chisag]

... Fwiw, this is a park district muni course, although in a nice area and it is a pretty nice course. But they let what little staff they have go home at 6pm with the exception of a young girl at the front desk and I have not seen rangers there in years. I play late afternoon golf so I imagine they have rangers in the morning but I never play before noon and this time of year I often start around 4 or even 5 because once I get thru the front, the back is usually pretty empty as many only play 9. I have played there for 25 years and never run across these kinds of patrons. 

... The silliest part is there were at least 5 holes open in front of them. 

[Mr. 82]

If I am a single, and I'm stuck behind a group that is playing slower than I am, and they won't let me through, I usually wait a hole or two, and see if they even recognize my existence.  If not, I just skip a hole or as I have come to call it (in football vernacular), "find a hole in the zone."

 

As my signature indicates, I don't do slow play...AT ALL.  If that group wants to get drunk and act like total asshats, that's on them.  The only thing I can control is myself.  So I skip a hole or two, or I'll scoot over to another part of the course, far away from that group if need be.  I've also been known to flip from the front nine to the back nine, depending on how crowded the course is.

 

Ultimately it's a space issue.  They need their space to play golf at their skill level, and I need mind to do my thing.  I give them all the space they want, and hopefully they'll do the same for me.

 

Now if the course is packed, and I'm stuck behind a group that is stuck behind a group, that is stuck behind a group, I just suck it up and play, or simply quit for the day.  But in your story, that was not an issue, so frankly, that group can go FARK themselves.

[cksurfdude]

... Fwiw, this is a park district muni course, although in a nice area and it is a pretty nice course. But they let what little staff they have go home at 6pm with the exception of a young girl at the front desk and I have not seen rangers there in years. I play late afternoon golf so I imagine they have rangers in the morning but I never play before noon and this time of year I often start around 4 or even 5 because once I get thru the front, the back is usually pretty empty as many only play 9. I have played there for 25 years and never run across these kinds of patrons.

 

... The silliest part is there were at least 5 holes open in front of them.

That's part of the problem, then .. those so-and-so's knew when they could go out on that course and do whatever they wanted.....

 

Which tells you just what kind of f***in p***ies they really are.

[chisag]

If I am a single, and I'm stuck behind a group that is playing slower than I am, and they won't let me through, I usually wait a hole or two, and see if they even recognize my existence.  If not, I just skip a hole or as I have come to call it (in football vernacular), "find a hole in the zone."

 

As my signature indicates, I don't do slow play...AT ALL.  If that group wants to get drunk and act like total asshats, that's on them.  The only thing I can control is myself.  So I skip a hole or two, or I'll scoot over to another part of the course, far away from that group if need be.  I've also been known to flip from the front nine to the back nine, depending on how crowded the course is.

 

Ultimately it's a space issue.  They need their space to play golf at their skill level, and I need mind to do my thing.  I give them all the space they want, and hopefully they'll do the same for me.

 

Now if the course is packed, and I'm stuck behind a group that is stuck behind a group, that is stuck behind a group, I just suck it up and play, or simply quit for the day.  But in your story, that was not an issue, so frankly, that group can go FARK themselves.

 

 

... The front 9 was tough because the kid playing with me never got to the green and often needed multiple shots so he really lowed me down. I did not mind because we were all beginners sometime. But the few times we were approaching the tee coming off the previous green the guys were just pulling away in their carts. Of course one or more always duffed a shot off the tee so they were often about 100yds in front of us. After 2 back surgeries, the waiting caused me to sit or lie down and do back stretches several times and I know they saw my sitting/laying down on the tee box. 

 

... It wasn't til the back 9 that I was able to catch them. Waiting in the fairway by myself on 10 it was obvious my partner had only played 9, so when I caught them on the 11th tee ll alone, that is when the confrontation occurred and I did just skip the hole and moved on. 

[JohnSmalls]

If any of you guys can't understand some of the words here, I can translate for you! Beautiful use of stropy and wankers alfs.

Spot on with wankers.  Stropy threw me off, though.  You lot using the Queen's English are a colo(u)rful group. 

 

We have a few around my area that are in the same demographic that are still seeing if they can match their beer consumption to their handicap.  They haven't acted in such a rude manner (yet), but playing behind or in their group is absolutely maddening.  I am afraid I would have gotten my teeth handed to me if I ended up in your situation, Chisag (also didn't put Screen Actors Guild together until just now).  Well done keeping your cool.

[chisag]

... It was pretty clear these guys were complete jerks. Once I heard "wear a skirt" ... "big baby" with 5 open holes in front of them, nothing I was gonna say would influence anything in their minds.  Not to get political but "Trump is getting rid ..."  but I didn't catch the rest as one of the others starting hollering something else. Ignoring them was really the best option at that point. As I stated earlier, the thing that really irritates me is they are gonna tell a different story about this a$$hole b*tch they ran into on the golf course. 

[Mr. 82]

 the thing that really irritates me is they are gonna tell a different story about this a$$hole b*tch they ran into on the golf course. 

yeah, but consider the company that they keep.  I mean, unless you are worried about "trailer park south side ghetto trash" saying profanely negative things about an unidentified better scratch golfer, what do you care what these morons neanderthals say or do?  

[JohnSmalls]

... It was pretty clear these guys were complete jerks. Once I heard "wear a skirt" ... "big baby" with 5 open holes in front of them, nothing I was gonna say would influence anything in their minds.  Not to get political but "Trump is getting rid ..."  but I didn't catch the rest as one of the others starting hollering something else. Ignoring them was really the best option at that point. As I stated earlier, the thing that really irritates me is they are gonna tell a different story about this a$$hole b*tch they ran into on the golf course. 

 

Unfortunately there are idiots everywhere and they aren't easily identified without interaction.

[chisag]

yeah, but consider the company that they keep.  I mean, unless you are worried about "trailer park south side ghetto trash" saying profanely negative things about an unidentified better scratch golfer, what do you care what these morons neanderthals say or do?  

 

 

... True Dat, just the nature of conflict sometimes and it doesn't bother me personally at all. These complete idiots think I am the idiot LOL. John Cleese summed it up best:

 

[NiftyNiblick]

Our main man chisag is a professional actor.

 

He should have given those clowns his best Charles Bronson or Clint Eastwood and scared the living crap out of them!

[Mr. 82]

Unfortunately when I get held up playing, it's usually slow play several groups ahead and not the group immediately in front of me. I've had people behind me get a little nasty that I don't offer to let them play through when they'd just be waiting in front of me. Not sure how you fix slow play 4-5 groups ahead.

Put a guillotine right off of the 18th green.  Have a marshall arrest the offending foresome, and it's off with their heads.