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Whats your best joke?

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2 hours ago, ole gray said:

Yes sir boss man!   Back when I was a young whipper snapper, slopping the hogs was a step up from worming the goats.  My Dad use to make me wrestle the goats so he could slip a big ole worm pill down their throats.  Now I'm here to tell ya, them goats didn't particular like a pill the size of an elongated golf ball shoved down their throats.   They'd buck like a rodeo mule with a cow prod stuck up his booty.  All I could do was hold on for dear life and hope the goat didn't stomp me into oblivion.  I suppose it wasn't all bad because my football coach said I made one heck of a linebacker.  I told em, I owe it all to the goats coach.  He looked at me kind of funny and said whatever.   Anyways once I got promoted to the hog slopping job I felt like I had hit the jackpot! 

This makes the summer vacation I spent one season as a young teen punching cows in Oregon sound like it was a...vacation...😛

Edit: Yeah I did that voluntarily...BEST summer EVER!

Edited by PING Apologist #9
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1 minute ago, PING Apologist #9 said:

This makes the summer vacation I spent one season as a young teen punching cows in Oregon sound like it was a...vacation...😛

I wouldn't say that hoss as I've heard cowboy work is some tough stuff too! At the end of the day we both could probably do one hell of a fine commercial for ibuprofen. 

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3 minutes ago, ole gray said:

I wouldn't say that hoss as I've heard cowboy work is some tough stuff too! At the end of the day we both could probably do one hell of a fine commercial for ibuprofen. 

LOL! Yes indeed! Then I was dumb enough to play catcher most of my baseball "career", beat myself to near death (literally) in the Marines, snow ski for "fun" and other activities we all did as kids. Now at just 50, every bone pops & creaks and weird pains come from nowhere for no reason...sigh...

Anyhow, we've thread-jacked this enough...Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

 

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On 3/21/2019 at 11:43 PM, Kenny B said:

 

HA!!!!!

Don't know if the following bit is the original, but some of you other old farts 😉 may have enjoyed Al Bundy's wit a few years back...

 

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I sprayed coffee all over my dog yesterday reading the "How to Apply Thread".   Folks were applying for the Cobra testing in there faster than stud bull on a hawt heifer!

Your analogies are one of the most entertaining parts of the MGS forum.

 

 

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42 minutes ago, palvord said:


You’re analogies are one of the most entertaining parts of the MGS forum.


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Thank ya cuz!

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OG, I worked several years, mostly Summers on the farms around my house. The other wrestling match was holding calves as we burned their horns. For some reason, they didn't like that.

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1 hour ago, CarlH said:

Image may contain: text

we have ALL been there, some more than others........don't ask me how I know that😉

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4 hours ago, Reesedw said:

You know it's going bad when you can't even throw a club worth a ship.. lol.

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Once, my wife threw a wedge from the edge of the green.  She had been told that if you are going to throw a club, throw it in the direction of your cart so you don't have far to go get it.  The club bounced off the ground, hit the cart above the rear wheel, and put a hole in the fiberglass.  She has thrown clubs since, but now she is more careful.

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Bob was trying desperately to get in 18 on a soon-to-be stormy day.

He was playing the round of his life, but as the weather grew worse, his swing on the 15th tee was awkward, resulting in a hooked drive into the trees.

His lie was a good one, but right next to a tree. He quickly approached his ball, set himself up, and right as he took the club to the top, lightning struck down from the sky catching his steel-shafted 5-iron.

His friends hurried over to see that there was a large crater in the ground and no site of Bob or his clubs. He was gone.

When he reached the pearly gates, St. Peter said, “Son, we are sorry to have taken you at such an early age, however, because you love the game so much, and you had the round of your life going, we decided to bring your clubs that you love so dearly so that you may play all the courses of heaven, which are more incredible than any course you have ever played.”

The man started crying instantly, to which St. Peter replied, “I know, you have left behind many loved ones.”

Bob said, “No, that’s not it.”

“Yes, my son, you also had an unbelievable life and a great career,” St. Peter said.

“No, that’s not it either,” sobbed Bob.

St. Peter was stumped. “Well then, what could make you so unhappy, that you would cry like a 3-year-old?”

Bob looked up as the tears flooded from his eyes and said, “I think I left my wedge back on the 14th green.”

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Bob was trying desperately to get in 18 on a soon-to-be stormy day.

He was playing the round of his life, but as the weather grew worse, his swing on the 15th tee was awkward, resulting in a hooked drive into the trees.

His lie was a good one, but right next to a tree. He quickly approached his ball, set himself up, and right as he took the club to the top, lightning struck down from the sky catching his steel-shafted 5-iron.

His friends hurried over to see that there was a large crater in the ground and no site of Bob or his clubs. He was gone.

When he reached the pearly gates, St. Peter said, “Son, we are sorry to have taken you at such an early age, however, because you love the game so much, and you had the round of your life going, we decided to bring your clubs that you love so dearly so that you may play all the courses of heaven, which are more incredible than any course you have ever played.”

The man started crying instantly, to which St. Peter replied, “I know, you have left behind many loved ones.”

Bob said, “No, that’s not it.”

“Yes, my son, you also had an unbelievable life and a great career,” St. Peter said.

“No, that’s not it either,” sobbed Bob.

St. Peter was stumped. “Well then, what could make you so unhappy, that you would cry like a 3-year-old?”

Bob looked up as the tears flooded from his eyes and said, “I think I left my wedge back on the 14th green.”


And the punchline is .......?


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And the punchline is .......?

 

 

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I know, CarlH is like a fluffer.

 

 

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And the punchline is .......?


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I reread it twice to make sure I didn’t miss something. Am I missing something??


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He gets to play all the courses in heaven, but he's crying because he left his wedge behind (on earth).

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