Joining others tee-time

[TobiasF99]

Something has been bothering me for a while.

I have often experienced, that when I add myself to a tee time at my new golf club, either people take another tee time or they have a fourth person showing up, which really annoys me.

I used to have a membership at a golf club with a few friends, but due to where I live and my job, I decided to join a new club. Since I don't know anyone there, I usually just add myself to open tee times. Playing alone is okay, but it gets boring after a while. Granted, I have had some nice rounds with people that I don't know, but most of the time I end up playing alone because others seem to prefer playing with people they know. This has actually made me lose some interest in playing golf, which is quite frustrating.

I don't quite understand why people think they own or are entitled to a tee time. We likely pay the same for a membership, and in my view, if someone wants a tee time for themselves and their friends, they should pay additional green fees for the "open" spots.

So, my question is: Do you consider it rude or annoying if a stranger joins your tee time, or should it just be considered part of the game?

[GolfSpy_APH]

1 hour ago, TobiasF99 said:

Something has been bothering me for a while.

I have often experienced, that when I add myself to a tee time at my new golf club, either people take another tee time or they have a fourth person showing up, which really annoys me.

I used to have a membership at a golf club with a few friends, but due to where I live and my job, I decided to join a new club. Since I don't know anyone there, I usually just add myself to open tee times. Playing alone is okay, but it gets boring after a while. Granted, I have had some nice rounds with people that I don't know, but most of the time I end up playing alone because others seem to prefer playing with people they know. This has actually made me lose some interest in playing golf, which is quite frustrating.

I don't quite understand why people think they own or are entitled to a tee time. We likely pay the same for a membership, and in my view, if someone wants a tee time for themselves and their friends, they should pay additional green fees for the "open" spots.

So, my question is: Do you consider it rude or annoying if a stranger joins your tee time, or should it just be considered part of the game?

No, it's not rude for you to join. Here it is a luxury to play alone as you are always joined by someone.

Yes, it's extremely rude and dumb on those ppl. 

[Hacker60521]

I can see how some folks don’t want you in their time slot and others probably don’t care. Perhaps the starter or someone else can help guide you as to which groups are more amenable to having people join them.

[TobiasF99]

25 minutes ago, Hacker60521 said:

I can see how some folks don’t want you in their time slot and others probably don’t care. Perhaps the starter or someone else can help guide you as to which groups are more amenable to having people join them.

Here we dont have a starter. You book your tee time through an app, where you can see all tee times including people’s names and hcp. I only pick tee times with people who has similair hcp.  

[vandyland]

2 hours ago, TobiasF99 said:

So, my question is: Do you consider it rude or annoying if a stranger joins your tee time, or should it just be considered part of the game?

It is 100% part of the game. Generally there are two main reasons people don't want to play with strangers (1) they don't have confidence in their own game or (2) they only like to play with "their friends" (there are other reasons but this is generally the top two picks). I play as a single all the time and so I am biased but I think pairing people up is part of the game. If someone doesn't want to talk or be social fine, that shouldn't preclude me from being able to play golf with you. 

[Tom the Golf Nut]

It's the old supply and demand. Some courses insist of foursomes, and you get paired up whether you like it or not. Other less crowded courses will let you go out in any group size of four and under. I'm not antisocial by any means but enjoy my solo rounds. I can really focus on my game without distractions (looking for someone else's ball constantly, loud music, a heavy drinker, or a club thrower).  I'm in sales I deal with people all the time, when I'm home there are 5 people in the house. Solo rounds are just fine by me. 

I would ask your Club Pro if there are groups that you can join. Both of my clubs have a shootout every day of the week that is open to anyone joining the group and playing. It's a minimal entry fee like a buck or two. They have a random draw for teams, and it uses handicaps. one club does a two-man scramble format, and the other is match play.  

Being the new guy at a club is always awkward at first but give it some time and you will meet some great guys that you get along with. It's almost easy because you are starting off with a common interest. GOLF.

[TJ Hall]

Consider it part of the game.  Don’t really care if I get paired up with someone, sometimes it’s nice to play along with someone new.

There have been occasions where I wanted to go out alone (doing an MGS test) and got paired up, but it was still fine.  Was able to explain some of MGS and encouraged them to join (must not have sold it well as they did not!).

 

[elight]

It's their problem, not yours. I usually play as a single. I get a feel for the group and act accordingly. If folks are being social, I join in. When it's clear that they want to do their own thing, I keep to myself. One time I played as a twosome and I don't think that my twosome and the twosome we were paired with exchanged more than 10 words the entire round, which is fine. Be flexible enough to adapt to the situation and you'll come out of it just fine. 

[Schenectady Putter]

As a league golfer, I'm often looking for candidates to fill open positions in our 24 man group. Always some drop outs year over year and playing 9 or 18 with a walk-on is better than a "job interview".

[DiscipleofPenick]

It's not rude for you. Dealing with public golf and munis, there's plenty of courses I play where if I'm a single or with one other buddy, we are gonna get paired up. Just happened on Sunday when I played.

[AvgGolferinPA]

Outside our league, I generally play as a single.  So I expect to get paired up during busy times, which is fine.  And if the course is open, always happy to go out as a single.  

But going out for a twilight as many holes as I can play before it's dark as a single is the best.  

[Rico_de_Gallo]

I think it's just part of it. Golf has grown considerably more popular in recent years and courses get more crowded.

I only play public places and majority of my rounds I sign up as a single. I really never know what the day will hold. Some groups I've joined are fantastic, friendly, and make the day more enjoyable. Other groups are a bit more forgettable for sure. Even when playing with friends, if there is a chance to fill the full tee time slot, the course will. I consider it pretty fortunate that I've only had 1 really poor experience with an random pairing.

Overall, I know I can't control who I get paired with or who joins our group.  I can only control myself and how I act around them so I be sure to stay respectful regardless.

[RetiredBoomer]

 

 

I played a lot of golf as a single when I was still working and had to sneak a round in whenever I could.
Essentially, it was practice for work league twilight golf.

Now I'm part of a gaggle of senior weekday golfers, and golf has become primarily social.
I'd be playing right now if it weren't raining.

I haven't really gotten to shoot a score or compete with anyone lately because the guys are really into scrambles and seeing what kind of score we can achieve as a team.  I think that it's largely influenced by YouTube golf to be honest,
but I really do enjoy it.

 

 

 

 

 

[jbern]

I'm not familiar with how golf clubs work in Denmark, but maybe it would be good to have a meal or drinks around the times that you'd like to play or like to be done playing? It might be easier to meet other people over drinks/food than trying to navigate the tee time app where people don't know you.

Hopefully it all works out, but when I was first a member at a club years and years ago, it took half the season (or more) to find a group of people that could be relied upon to get out and play together. 

I do currently play as a single often, but the pairings are forced and random because the public places I go to don't rely upon apps for tee times. It sounds like this is not the experience you're having.

[TobiasF99]

21 minutes ago, jbern said:

I'm not familiar with how golf clubs work in Denmark, but maybe it would be good to have a meal or drinks around the times that you'd like to play or like to be done playing? It might be easier to meet other people over drinks/food than trying to navigate the tee time app where people don't know you.

Hopefully it all works out, but when I was first a member at a club years and years ago, it took half the season (or more) to find a group of people that could be relied upon to get out and play together. 

I do currently play as a single often, but the pairings are forced and random because the public places I go to don't rely upon apps for tee times. It sounds like this is not the experience you're having.

I thought about that as well and have started doing it. Additionally, I began chatting with people on the putting green, which is a nice way to meet new people. It seems to me that in the US, the pairings are mostly forced, correct? Maybe it makes a difference in how people feel about it since I deliberately join a tee time with other people even though there are other tee times "open". 

It has gotten better recently. I have now played with many different people, and more often than not, it has been a nice round. Now, I often know someone, which means I now have more people to play with, luckily.

[TobiasF99]

13 hours ago, elight said:

It's their problem, not yours. I usually play as a single. I get a feel for the group and act accordingly. If folks are being social, I join in. When it's clear that they want to do their own thing, I keep to myself. One time I played as a twosome and I don't think that my twosome and the twosome we were paired with exchanged more than 10 words the entire round, which is fine. Be flexible enough to adapt to the situation and you'll come out of it just fine. 

Yes, that is what I usually do as well, I think it's quite easy to get a feel for the group even before teeing off. I have had different experiences some that are extremely outgoing or some that are not, and i'm good with either as long as they're not unfriendly, as I have experienced a few times both during rounds and even before the round started. 

[MN Loon]

There are times when members invite guests/clients to play a round at the club or perhaps a spouse is learning the game and nervous to play with others.  In those situations I fully understand the member desire not to include others. Getting 5 hours of a person’s time is difficult, then if a walk-on joins the tee time it might hinder a person’s ability to talk to someone about an issue or concern.

I find league play to be either inviting - folks playing golf and socializing with other members - or at times very cliquey with a group that wants to golf with the same people and nobody else.  
When I joined my current club, I intentionally tried to join a new group for league play every week for the first year+.  I got to know lots of folks and would often join/invite them for a beer afterwards.  You can quickly learn about the different cliques, and in my case other golfers with spouses who wanted to play but only with folks they knew were at their level.  We often played with other couples on Friday or Sunday in the late afternoon and then grabbed dinner.  We’ve met and now socialize regularly with about 12 couples.  The spouses even play together in the 9-hole league and are improving.

[Dan Yates]

Definitely part of the game, and something I generally really enjoy.  In my area most of the clubs are public, and we’re close to both DC and Baltimore, so a lot of people come up on weekends to play because it’s cheaper.  If you are playing as a single or a twosome you are definitely getting paired with another group.  I showed up on a Saturday morning last summer and my friend ended up not being able to make it at the last minute.  I talked to the pro shop and let them know, and he said I should head down to the starter because there was a twosome, husband and wife, getting ready to tee off and I should join them.  So I grabbed my clubs and headed over, let the starter know, and started to make my way to introduce myself to the couple.  I don’t smoke or drink, I’m a professional fundraiser and used to being friendly with strangers and making them feel comfortable, and I dress like a normal golfer in the summer - shorts, collared golf shirt, golf hat, etc.  but they looked at me like I was going to ask them for for money and shoot up in front of them, then turned disgusted to the starter and said, “No. We will not.  We got here on time, and booked this time last week.  We won’t be stuck with anyone just because they show up and want to play!”  I was agog.  I looked at the starter and he is not known to be assertive, but as they got out of their cart to walk to the tee, he looked at me and loudly said, “I think you’d have a better time playing by yourself.  She’s miserable.”  So I waited another 45 minutes for my actual tee time, got paired with a single and a father son two-some, and they were awesome - at the end of our round together we all exchanged numbers and we’ve played together at least once a month, either by chance or calling each other up.  I saw the starter later and he said the couple got so mad waiting on every shot (as a two-some stuck in a Sat morning full of foursomes) that they left after 9 holes.  Who knows what their reasons were - maybe it was a bad day, maybe they didn’t want other people watching them play, or maybe they were just snobby and didn’t want to have to socialize with people they didn’t like the look of - whatever it was, they ended up missing out on a better pace of play, and especially a busy course on a weekend with nice weather - it’s kind of a hit for the course to miss out on two more greens fees in those empty slots.  All my life I’ve met great people getting paired as a single or twosome, heard great stories, learned some things, and made a few new friends.  Did I have to listen to music I didn’t like?  Or put up with cigar smoke in the cart?  Or tolerate a few temper tantrums and club throws?  Sure, but they were the exception, and I feel the net good experiences far outweigh the bad ones, and most of the bad weren’t even that bad.

[TobiasF99]

On 7/23/2024 at 4:22 PM, Tom the Golf Nut said:

It's the old supply and demand. Some courses insist of foursomes, and you get paired up whether you like it or not. Other less crowded courses will let you go out in any group size of four and under. I'm not antisocial by any means but enjoy my solo rounds. I can really focus on my game without distractions (looking for someone else's ball constantly, loud music, a heavy drinker, or a club thrower).  I'm in sales I deal with people all the time, when I'm home there are 5 people in the house. Solo rounds are just fine by me. 

I would ask your Club Pro if there are groups that you can join. Both of my clubs have a shootout every day of the week that is open to anyone joining the group and playing. It's a minimal entry fee like a buck or two. They have a random draw for teams, and it uses handicaps. one club does a two-man scramble format, and the other is match play.  

Being the new guy at a club is always awkward at first but give it some time and you will meet some great guys that you get along with. It's almost easy because you are starting off with a common interest. GOLF.

The club I play in actually has a lot of members, or at least a lot more than where I played before, so it's a bit strange that they don't force pairings, especially during weekends. It seems to me golf clubs are operating differently in general in the US. In Denmark, the club pros aren't that present or involved in anything that does not concern the elite team or people paying for a lesson. The way it works is that you sign up for a specfic tee time from home via an app, and you can see if there is anyone on the tee time, their name, and hcp, none of this is maintained by the club. 

I have played in groups recently where they have been inviting and friendly, and where we have enjoyed a beer or a glass of wine afterwards. I have been a member now for 4 months or so, so I believe you are right, I just need to give it some time. However, I was really frustrated in the beginning, I think I played my first 8-9 rounds there alone because people either wanted to play for themselves or they didn't show up

Edited July 24 by TobiasF99

[aguybadatgolf]

As a public course player I never get a tee time to myself so if I don’t take all 4 spots I don’t expect to play alone. That said, golfing with randoms (especially at the public courses I can play) is extremely hit or miss. I go to great lengths to avoid playing with a single unless it’s unavoidable but I completely understand it’s a part of the game and never am a jerk about it. Also about half my playing partners are newer to the sport and are still self conscious about being bad so they don’t like playing with randoms either. I’ve had some really big jerks say something rude about a friend having a bad day and it just makes us all want to avoid that. 

Edited July 24 by aguybadatgolf

[elight]

To me it's about expectations. Unless a club has a specific policy that allows folks to utilize a tee time with less than four players (some may allow a threesome to do so), folks shouldn't expect to not be paired up with others. Don't like it? Play at a different time or a different course that is less busy. Or pay to buy out the foursome. It's not your personal course and you don't get to make the rules. The course is a place of business and in order to stay in business, they need to fill their tee times and think about what's in the best interest of the overall group of potential users (the vast majority of whom would much rather be paired up with randoms than be pushed to non-peak tee times).

[Philly Ray]

I think it's already been said that a threesome should expect to be paired with a fourth player because the course wants to fill the tee sheet and make money.  My wife loves to golf so it's a little more difficult to find 2 open spots during the day at our course unless we play late in the day.  We'll get paired with another twosome (even better if it's another couple) and usually have a good conversation.  In my opinion, it's a great way to meet new people.

[NHRon]

I don't belong to a club, and probably never will, so I don't know if the situation you're describing is specific to that.

I hate playing as a single. Invariably there is a foursome somewhere ahead of you on the course, so you play at a foursome pace, meaning you wait a lot between shots. Yes, I could play multiple balls, but I find my focus isn't as good. And if something extraordinary happens (career low round, hole in one) playing multiple balls kind of lessens the legitimacy of the accomplishment.

At least one of the courses I play doesn't let you book as a single, at least not online. If you select "1" as the number of players, all of the completely unbooked slots become unselectable, which is fine with me. Besides, other than a few notable exceptions, I've enjoyed the company of almost everyone I've been grouped with on the course.

[cgill20]

Tobias, to answer the question I believe you are asking, "Would it be cool if you jumped into my group if we had a spot open?" Unless I have 3 other players in my group (assuming that the max is 4 total per group), the answer is and always should be, "Absolutely!", even when done in the virtual sense of claiming that open tee time on your app.

I'm at a club now that gives members the chance to freeze people out of a tee time once one person has reserved that time for themselves or however many playing partners they want to bring along. This makes finding spots to play difficult on busy days, and nearly impossible on weekends and holidays. I'd be thrilled to join up with a twosome or threesome if it meant getting to play.

On the flipside, I don't have a group that I play with, so oftentimes I'm forced to play as a single, stuck in-between larger groups during the round. However, I usually use that to my advantage as I use it as an excuse to join up with a group in front or behind me as a way to speed up play for everyone. I've been lucky so far as I've been able to join up with some of the same folks a few times now, so we're familiar with each other and have a good time playing together. The times that I have brought along a playing partner or two, I'm quick to ask that single teeing off in front or behind us if that want to join up.

To me, playing the game with others is how the game is intended to be played. I'm not lucky enough to have that group of golf buddies that play together on the regular, but even if I did I would never allow it to be the case that we only exclusively play together, excluding anyone else that might want to play with us.

You're not being rude or annoying by taking that open tee time. Sharing the game of golf with others is the best way to play. Those that would exclude or shut you out show themselves to be the ones who might be categorized as "rude."

 

[Novel_0ne23]

I join random groups regularly and agree with some of the sentiments of others: you kind of just feel it out socially. 

If you don't fill a foursome, you should expect someone to be paired with you. At the very least, it maintains pace of play.