Playing With Different Handicaps

[GolfSpy_APH]

Do you prefer to play with players of a similar handicap? Do you get intimidated playing lower handicaps? Do you get frustrated playing with high handicaps?

Or do enjoy playing with better players to see the skill level as well as find joy in playing with higher handicaps to watch their journey and joy in hitting great shots?

What's your preference or sweet spot if you could choose your playing partners skill level?

[Josh Parker]

First choice is playing with someone better than me.  Gives me the opportunity to learn and push myself.

Second choice is it doesn't matter when it's with friends.  It's about enjoying the day and hanging out.  

[Rob Person]

With friends it doesn't matter much, we just enjoy the game and the day together. If I get paired randomly with either, as long as they are not acting a fool or trying to rush me to their level, it's all good.

I've had experiences with players who just want to speed golf, and I tend to lose my enjoyment part.

I like to think i keep a good pace and don't dilly dally or play nonsense golf. Sure, inhave a bad shot, or a blow up hole, like anyone else.

Etiquette goes both ways, Regardless of handicap.

[funkyjudge]

Unless the golfer is a total jerk on the golf course, I don't care what their handicap is; I just play golf and enjoy the company on the course. 

Yesterday, my best friend and I were paired with two younger golfers, both of whom I estimate were more than 35-40 years younger than us. Nobody discussed what our handicaps were, but I suspect that both of the other guys were 20-30 handicap golfers (my buddy and I are both in the mid-teens in handicap, so we're not the greatest golfers on Earth by any means).  I happened to have a very good round yesterday, shooting 6 over par, which is rare for this 14+ handicapper, but I don't think that the other guys felt uncomfortable or intimidated, although one of the younger golfers started "pressing" because he was having excessive difficulty with his short game.  Still, we enjoyed pleasant non-golf and golf-related discussions and even shared a few jokes.

[ILMgolfnut]

Much of my golfing has been playing solo. Just a fact of life and it doesn't bother me; I have some definite loner tendencies anyway. When I have been in a threesome or foursome, it seems that there's usually one close to my level and one or two a lot better. Neither one is an issue. When I'm with somebody who really sucks, I have to admit it irritates me, possibly because it reminds me of my own shortcomings.

[Northern Monkey]

I’m quite happy to play with any standard. Those that are better help me improve and get tips from them and those that are higher handicaps I enjoy seeing them hit good shots and the enjoyment they get from it 

[GaryF]

For me it doesn’t really matter as long as a few things are observed.  Any skill level is fine. I most often play from our #3 tees (of 5) and always encourage them to play whatever tees are appropriate for their game.  Most do, but occasionally one will play longer than they should.  Second, limit time (3 min is fine) looking for a lost ball and never prolong the look to try to find another ball to “break even”.  And finally, play ready golf. 

Edited May 12 by GaryF

[funkyjudge]

37 minutes ago, GaryF said:

For me it doesn’t really matter as long as a few things are observed.  Any skill level is fine. I most often play from our #3 tees and always encourage them to play whatever tees are appropriate for their game.  Most do, but occasionally one will play longer than they should.  Second, limit time (3 min is fine) looking for a lost ball and never prolong the look to try to find another ball to “break even”.  And finally, play ready golf. 

Almost NOTHING bothers me more than slow players on the golf course, and that definitely includes golfers who spend 8 to 10 minutes looking for a lost golf ball. I generally say something like “the three minute search period has long passed; just drop a ball and play on”. Some guys take it well; others get downright nasty when I remind them that we need to pick up the pace of play.

One great thing about the guys that I played with yesterday is that no matter how badly they played, we all maintained a great pace of play, keeping up with the threesome ahead of us. All four of us were walking (I carried my bag, the other three had push carts). The front nine took only 1:35, but the back nine was a little slower because things got backed up just a bit. Still, we walked the full 18 holes in just over 3:30.

[Indy_Oz]

I play a lot of solo rounds, particularly at my local 9-hole muni, so I've been paired with a wide variety of golfers. Same in league last year. Since returning to the game I have consciously worked on pace of play and ready golf.

My preference would be to play with people at my handicap or better. I enjoy learning from watching decision making and course management of low handicappers, particularly short game and recovery shots. That said, my regular playing partners are mostly higher handicap than me and it's not an issue. 

Really slow golfers and those with a poor attitude do frustrate me. Some people take it all too seriously and drag down the mood in the group. Frequently playing solo makes every round a bit of a pot luck, but so far I've been mostly lucky with pairings.

[NM01]

I play with random pairings for 99% of my golf. I don’t care about the other handicaps or skill levels. Personality and ready golf are more important.

ive played with guys better than me my whole golfing career and in most sports I played. I don’t get intimidated by better golfers. 

[russtopherb]

No preference to handicap, I enjoy playing with friends who are great ball strikers as it gives me something to strive for, and I enjoy playing with high caps who get that look of pure joy on their face when they hit a great shot. In fact, I find better players tend to complain a lot more and get more fussy if they're not playing well by their standards 

Just pair me up with someone who wants to have fun and enjoy being out there, and I'm good.

[Javs]

We have several money games and groups here. Mondays, Wednesday and Thursday there are a large mixture of handicaps. Which I don’t mind, I just play my game. On Saturdays we have the single digit group and this is the hardest matches of the week. 

[Cfhandyman]

I’m happy to play with a wide variety of men and women golfers of varying skill level.  Have fun, enjoy yourself.  Please, be cognizant of the pace of play. If I had a preference, it would be to play with players better than myself as I use it as an opportunity to learn and improve. 
Not a fan of really slow play or those who take forever looking for a lost ball or go looking for balls or the self entitled who are totally obvious to others and there surroundings.  Fortunately, the latter are few and far between.

[Big moose]

I don't care what your handicap is, when it's your turn to hit don't walk up on the tee and start telling stories about what happened last time you played this hole, I don't care just hit the ball. I don't like playing with One of my best friends because we can't go near a lake without him pulling out that dam ball picker, I tell him there are people behind us waiting to hit and he says I paid my money just like they did so they can just wait. These guys who won't give up looking for there ball really irk me, I tell them they are making balls every day and if you really need one I will give you one, just drop one and move on. 

[Javs]

3 minutes ago, Big moose said:

I don't care what your handicap is, when it's your turn to hit don't walk up on the tee and start telling stories about what happened last time you played this hole, I don't care just hit the ball. I don't like playing with One of my best friends because we can't go near a lake without him pulling out that dam ball picker, I tell him there are people behind us waiting to hit and he says I paid my money just like they did so they can just wait. These guys who won't give up looking for there ball really irk me, I tell them they are making balls every day and if you really need one I will give you one, just drop one and move on. 

You raise a great point and one I have heard a million times. It still gets under my skin when someone says “I paid my money so…..” What they leave out is just because one paid their money it doesn’t mean you can slow play for the entire course. It is just like saying I’m the only one important screw everyone playing with me or behind me. I don’t care for that attitude. In reality, we should all be trying to make the game and day enjoyable. Meaning follow the rules, have at least basic etiquette, and keep up. 

[funkyjudge]

1 hour ago, RickyBobby_PR said:

I play with random pairings for 99% of my golf. I don’t care about the other handicaps or skill levels. Personality and ready golf are more important.

ive played with guys better than me my whole golfing career and in most sports I played. I don’t get intimidated by better golfers. 

The same thing goes for me! Even when I was 42 to 60 years old and played to a 6 to 8 handicap, most (or at least many) of the golfers that I played with were better golfers than I was.

About the only sport where I rarely played with many athletes who were much better than me was baseball. Of course, I had tryouts with four MLB teams and played professional baseball for 3 years, and back then I played with a fair number of guys who were better players than I was. Some of those guys made it to MLB (remember Gary Carter, Steve Swisher, Dennis Martinez and both Don Baylor and Bobby Bailor?). I played with or against all of those guys, and Steve Swisher was actually signed by the Chicago Cubs out of a MLB tryout camp that I was at (there were at least two other catchers in addition to Swisher at that camp, and one of the others by the name of Mike Nally was signed by the Montreal Expos and wound up as the backup to Gary Carter for a couple of years before he retired from professional baseball and became a high school baseball and football coach).

[funkyjudge]

55 minutes ago, Javs said:

You raise a great point and one I have heard a million times. It still gets under my skin when someone says “I paid my money so…..” What they leave out is just because one paid their money it doesn’t mean you can slow play for the entire course. It is just like saying I’m the only one important screw everyone playing with me or behind me. I don’t care for that attitude. In reality, we should all be trying to make the game and day enjoyable. Meaning follow the rules, have at least basic etiquette, and keep up. 

A big AMEN to that!

[funkyjudge]

1 hour ago, Big moose said:

I don't care what your handicap is, when it's your turn to hit don't walk up on the tee and start telling stories about what happened last time you played this hole, I don't care just hit the ball. I don't like playing with One of my best friends because we can't go near a lake without him pulling out that dam ball picker, I tell him there are people behind us waiting to hit and he says I paid my money just like they did so they can just wait. These guys who won't give up looking for there ball really irk me, I tell them they are making balls every day and if you really need one I will give you one, just drop one and move on. 

Abso-friggin-lutely!  Ball hawks with retrievers and guys who don’t give a crap about the players that they are holding up are golfers that I never want to be paired with again after one time playing golf with them!

[Josh Parker]

59 minutes ago, Javs said:

You raise a great point and one I have heard a million times. It still gets under my skin when someone says “I paid my money so…..” What they leave out is just because one paid their money it doesn’t mean you can slow play for the entire course. It is just like saying I’m the only one important screw everyone playing with me or behind me. I don’t care for that attitude. In reality, we should all be trying to make the game and day enjoyable. Meaning follow the rules, have at least basic etiquette, and keep up. 

100% agree!  

[BreakfastBall15]

With friends it doesn’t matter. When playing with someone else I don’t know I’m usually a complete head case about not embarrassing myself I don’t even post attention to their ability until the 3rd or 4th hole. I find myself playing better when paired with better players but as long as they aren’t a jerk then I don’t really care about their playing. We’ve all been bad before so as long as a high handicap isn’t holding up pace of play too bad then I’m more than happy to play with them too

[Skibum]

I usually play with friends, but I can play with just about anyone. It’s more about having fun. I play with people that hit the ball a lot further than I do. We joke that there is a Buc-ee’s between your ball and mine. Handicap doesn’t matter to me. We don’t like slow play either. We can usually get done in 3 1/2 hours. 

[KC Golf]

I generally play with friends, but I like playing with people at or usually better than my index.  I find the round moves quickly and it usually more laid back.  But I have been out with others of varying abilities and if they have a generally good attitude I am fine too.  

My issue is 25+ handicaps getting all upset with their games and causing issues for the rest of us when they have no business complaining and cursing, etc.   

[GolfSpy_APH]

I really don't care who I play with. I enjoy playing with both for different reasons and in the end just want to enjoy a fun round. Difficult I know, but there are so many good things about playing with both high and lower handicaps than my middling 8 handicap. 

[RetiredBoomer]

At this stage of my life, my playing partners come from the same small pool of weekday playing seniors.

Skill levels vary, but there are no surprises.
Same course, same guys, same routine, everybody's happy.
We usually have breakfast together first.

I suppose more driven, more competitive players
wouldn't dig our schtick,
but they have compatible people with whom to play as well. 

 

 

[sirchunksalot]

The group I play with somewhat regularly have handicaps probably from 12-40 and we all play at a pretty decent clip. I have been paired with both really good players and some that struggled to get the ball off the ground. I've had really good experiences with both and the most important thing to me is to have fun, don't hold people up, and great conversation. The conversation part is fun for me because I'm not the most chatty person unless it's golf related, then I can both talk your ears off and listen intently. I think good conversation helps me take my mind off how bad I might be playing and eases the tension. 

 

[cksurfdude]

10 hours ago, GolfSpy_APH said:

Do you prefer to play with players of a similar handicap? Do you get intimidated playing lower handicaps? Do you get frustrated playing with high handicaps?

Or do enjoy playing with better players to see the skill level as well as find joy in playing with higher handicaps to watch their journey and joy in hitting great shots?

What's your preference or sweet spot if you could choose your playing partners skill level?

Yes 

The other day I had the pleasure of playing with both someone who was WAAAY better than me, and someone who was way "not better" - and also had poor eyesight and needed help spotting the ball. So yeah it slowed us down a bit but hey no biggie. They were both really nice and like I said a pleasure to be out on the course with.

The better player could not have been more patient with us other two .. and took time to help out the weaker player and was constantly encouraging to me.

So from my POV one type of player was not more preferable to be with over the other; the things that do bother me have been discussed in much detail elsewhere (etiquette and pace of play issues).

 

7 hours ago, Javs said:

You raise a great point and one I have heard a million times. It still gets under my skin when someone says “I paid my money so…..” What they leave out is just because one paid their money it doesn’t mean you can slow play for the entire course. It is just like saying I’m the only one important screw everyone playing with me or behind me. I don’t care for that attitude. In reality, we should all be trying to make the game and day enjoyable. Meaning follow the rules, have at least basic etiquette, and keep up. 

Yeah you also hear that from people teeing off all the way back who really should be self-aware that they have ABSOLUTELY NO F***IN BUSINESS BEING BACK THERE.... (ok mini rant over)

Those people I don't enjoy playing golf with.

 

[Javs]

3 hours ago, GolfSpy_APH said:

I really don't care who I play with. I enjoy playing with both for different reasons and in the end just want to enjoy a fun round. Difficult I know, but there are so many good things about playing with both high and lower handicaps than my middling 8 handicap. 

Agree, exception is in our Monday group there is a 30 some handicap that feels it’s his place to give me a putting tip. Especially painful when I just lipped out for eagle and he made his routine 8. He tells me that I would be a good player if I just got my putting under control. Then proceeds to try to give me unsolicited advise. I didn’t take it well. Gave him the death stare and stated when you can beat me, then you can tell me how to putt. My buddy Alan had to tell him to shut up before I stuffed him in the ball wash! Thankfully our group organizer is a great guy and doesn’t pair him on my teams anymore.

[Imoore1392]

Feel like as long as they play at a good pace and aren’t obnoxious it doesn’t matter. Feel like I am so into my own game and enjoying the course that I don’t pay much attention to how good or bad my playing partners are! 

[funkyjudge]

52 minutes ago, Javs said:

Agree, exception is in our Monday group there is a 30 some handicap that feels it’s his place to give me a putting tip. Especially painful when I just lipped out for eagle and he made his routine 8. He tells me that I would be a good player if I just got my putting under control. Then proceeds to try to give me unsolicited advise. I didn’t take it well. Gave him the death stare and stated when you can beat me, then you can tell me how to putt. My buddy Alan had to tell him to shut up before I stuffed him in the ball wash! Thankfully our group organizer is a great guy and doesn’t pair him on my teams anymore.

That story reminds me of my friend “Cap”, who, at age 79, has already shot up to 6 strokes under his age several times in 2024, and has won about every amateur and senior amateur golf tournament in New Jersey. He’s a nice guy — to a point — but has zero patience with clowns and fools, and in particular with people who try to give him golfing advice. “Cap” is a retired iron worker who is about 6’-2”, 200 lbs and is strong as two bulls. When he gets irritated or pushed to the edge of the “patience cliff”, he will not hesitate for a nanosecond in telling people where to get off and what he will do if they don’t shut up (often in quite graphic terms). Many people are afraid of him, but he’s really a nice guy, as long as you don’t act like an ass or try to give him golf advice.

[Javs]

25 minutes ago, funkyjudge said:

That story reminds me of my friend “Cap”, who, at age 79, has already shot up to 6 strokes under his age several times in 2024, and has won about every amateur and senior amateur golf tournament in New Jersey. He’s a nice guy — to a point — but has zero patience with clowns and fools, and in particular with people who try to give him golfing advice. “Cap” is a retired iron worker who is about 6’-2”, 200 lbs and is strong as two bulls. When he gets irritated or pushed to the edge of the “patience cliff”, he will not hesitate for a nanosecond in telling people where to get off and what he will do if they don’t shut up (often in quite graphic terms). Many people are afraid of him, but he’s really a nice guy, as long as you don’t act like an ass or try to give him golf advice.

Well I am former military and sounds like cut from the same cloth, ha ha. My one buddy called me totally balanced. A chip on both shoulders, ha ha. In all seriousness I have many good friends here and we have good groups. However, I have low patience for the few ass-clowns.