SHANKSTER’S Unofficial Top Golf Report

[Shankster]

[Shankster]

Please do not excuse my spelling and grammar errors.  They were on purpose…

[GolfSpy MPR]

I, for one, appreciate the curmudgeonliness of this post.

[cksurfdude]

Did you at least sample some tasty refreshing adult beverages?

Plz don't tell me those were disappointing, too.....

[Shankster]

Just now, cksurfdude said:

Did you at least sample some tasty refreshing adult beverages?

Plz don't tell me those were disappointing, too.....

Negative ghost rider, but I did get a nice flat coke from the fountain.

[TJ Hall]

To me, Top Golf is an experience and not a reflection of “real” golf.

Im not sure there is ever a disappointing adult beverage…

Overall, love the review!

[ZJeb67]

my local Top Golf gouges, er, "enhances" prices during peak times

 

[sirchunksalot]

As a grumpier older man, I approve this post. 

Thanks for the laugh, Alan!

[JohnSmalls]

8 minutes ago, GolfSpy MPR said:

curmudgeonliness

The brilliance behind the crafting of this word and the beauty of a @Shankster sighting makes this a great Friday!

[Preeway]

I feel the same way about Topgolf. I get that it isn’t meant to be a real driving range but good god is it expensive for two hours of hitting balls. 

[funkyjudge]

15 minutes ago, Shankster said:

Was that, by any chance, the TopGolf located in Mount Laurel, New Jersey?

[Shankster]

Just now, funkyjudge said:

Was that, by any chance, the TopGolf located in Mount Laurel, New Jersey?

I do not disclose this information.  But it was in place that they call “The City of Roses”… and I’m not talking about Pasadena.

[funkyjudge]

2 minutes ago, Shankster said:

I do not disclose this information.  But it was in place that they call “The City of Roses”… and I’m not talking about Pasadena.

Ah-ha; I know that place in the Pacific Northwest. One of my brothers lived there for more than a decade until he tired of the political climate there and moved even further north in the adjacent state.

[Josh Parker]

You mean to say, no fun whatsoever was had....  

I think I have a $50 GC for TG I can send ya for another opportunity and fresh review. 

 

[Shankster]

1 minute ago, Josh Parker said:

You mean to say, no fun whatsoever was had....  

I think I have a $50 GC for TG I can send ya for another opportunity and fresh review. 

 

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have “any” fun. Pretty good group of people I was with.  Laughing at them hit my last name was pretty fun.

[BobBC78]

Great post! 

My primary care doc, a good golfer, has a wife and two preteen kids. At my appointment earlier this year he told me that the four of them went to the Topgolf in Cranston on NY Eve (early) to do some Topgolf and have some dinner. Although they apparently had fun, he let me know that as a golfer he found the experience disappointing and also at about $300.00 for the four of them, expensive. 

I have not been to TG and at this point have no plans to do so. 

[KC Golf]

Love the Review!  
 

[bens197]

But did you bring your own clubs?

[Shankster]

Just now, bens197 said:

But did you bring your own clubs?

Does a bear… in the woods?

[Shankster]

A ProV1X may or may not have fallen out of my pocket on accident and reached 174mph ball speed… but that cannot be confirmed.

[Ted Tedeschi]

Have one Top Golf in the Cincinnati's area that I am aware of. It is about a hour away from where I live. You have reinforced my previous decisions to give it a hard pass. Thanks!

[NubianRugby]

1 hour ago, Preeway said:

I feel the same way about Topgolf. I get that it isn’t meant to be a real driving range but good god is it expensive for two hours of hitting balls. 

Yes and when I think of it as a night out or a group activity, that gives me a different perspective where the cost isn't as onerous. I don't think of it as golf, it's its whole own thing: TopGolf.

[StrokerAce]

I was tempted - they finally built one around me in Canton MA.... but then I heard from people and read reviews like this. Sounds like mini-golf on steroids. I have no plans of ever going unless it was a family event with a bunch of non-golfers.

I think that "Top" golf is rather generous... 

"bottom" golf
"not" golf
"fake" golf

[cksurfdude]

Have not been, either, and no current plans to (there's one about 45 or so mins away from me).

But yeah I think we can all agree that it's not "real golf" but more of a .. how should I say? .. "friends and family appropriate golf-like entertainment experience" ...

[ILMgolfnut]

Sounds very much like my experience at Drive Shack. Dead balls, crappy monitor experience, and no adult beverages. Or any other beverages, actually. 

[Tom the Golf Nut]

I have been several times and to several different locations. Once you have decided to go, you have to go in with certain mindset.

1) This is not real golf or a real driving range. It is a entertainment center.

2) The balls are limited flight balls with a chip in them to track the ball. 

3) The clubs are crap, bring your own, but watch them carefully. If you sign up for platinum membership they will loan you good clubs. Membership is ridiculous so your back to bring your own clubs. 

4) They are out to take your money. Don't go hungry. Food is good but pricey.

5) Adult beverages are high priced as well. Especially the drinks that come in a light up golf bag looking cup.

6) Always go on half price Tuesdays.

I'm not a fan of going there either but my customers like to go there. Its fine for chatting,  having a few cocktails, and smacking a few balls at targets. But thats about it.

[Shankster]

The monitor tracked a ProV1x just fine… maybe. No chip.

[sirchunksalot]

I had a fun time the one time I went there, but mostly because we were celebrating a friend's birthday and getting to hang with him and his family was a great experience. 

For the most part, I can have a better time at a driving range where I can just focus and work on my game. 

TopGolf is just an overpriced driving range for people that don't golf. I can see where it might lead to someone eventually deciding they want to take up the game, but I could imagine that doesn't happen often. 

[downlowkey]

1 hour ago, Tom the Golf Nut said:

I'm not a fan of going there either but my customers like to go there. Its fine for chatting,  having a few cocktails, and smacking a few balls at targets. But thats about it.

Expense Account Golf (concentrated) - and I can honestly understand the appeal for golf adjacent client relations outside normal working hours.

I played in the 2-person team league at their South Denver location for several seasons. First season was $20 per head each week and after league play we could pound balls for free until they closed. We ended up winning. Among other things, it granted us completely free league play the next season. Rinse and repeat. I’m certain (winning + free) is a the best formula for enjoying the place.

I can also say with certainty that @Shankster is rarely, if ever, satisfied with anything. If it’s a beautiful sunny day, he’ll be the one complaining that it’s too bright.

DLK: Have you considered sunglasses?

Alan: Can’t do sunglasses - everything on the market has too much offset.

PS - it’s good to see you around Mr. Shanks. One request - please, pretty please, stick to the standard forum formatting for your L.A.B. DF3 review, because trying to read the post at the top of this thread bout gave me a migraine.

[Shankster]

It was supposed to give you a headache.  That’s the point.